Well...training went well. Long day, so probably won't talk about it much.
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Uhg...it's late. And I might have some pre-course work to do...which I haven't done. Then, after FOUR HOURS of training (or was it six?), I have a staff meeting. And on top of all that, a second online training. Shorter (about an hour), but still needs to be done. What was I thinking? Later:Update on above: painfully slow laptop connection. If I go to bed without finding out, I will be screwed if there is any. (Not that I wouldn't be screwed if I found out there was some anyway.) If I use the desktop which is faster, there's a huge risk of my parents chastising me. (Okay, so that's something which would be justified, but I don't need them telling me.) I need to find out, so bedtime is being consistently delayed by a slow internet. This suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Even LATER: Further update: so the GOOD news is: I used the desktop and did not get caught. I am also going to get sleep, now.
The BAD news is, it aint gonna be restful sleep. Because the news was not good. So I got on the website all nice and fine and all...but I couldn't find the class. At all. You'd think a CPR/AED class would be easy to find. It's not. So I haven't the slightest clue if I'm supposed to have done anything. What's worse...my boss told me I was signed up for the class, but that should have shown on the website that I was. It did not. So, I might end up going to class tomorrow, and finding that in spite of what my boss said, I'm not actually enrolled in the first place! I mean, I SUPPOSE that makes a nice excuse if there WAS something that I was supposed to do before-hand but didn't. Just tell them the honest truth: "Hey, my boss signed me up at the last minute for your class, so the class didn't show up online. If there was anything I was supposed to do and/or study before class, I was unable to as a consequence." Does it sound good? Not really, no. Is it the truth? Absolutely. Will it help? That's the hope. Because if not, then I'm riiiiiiiiiiight back to where I was, which is, to say: in a position which is terrible. ...I mean. As-is. No matter what. It doesn't look good. This kind of screw-up is getting worse and worse by the minute. I'm normally so diligent about avoiding this sort of thing SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS REASON. Because I KNOW this sort of thing is horrendously bad, I try to at all costs avoid being placed in these situations. Keeping up to date. Being meticulous about the details. Planning ahead. (I'm not an idiot who procrastinates, this literally blindsided me at THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME.) Studying well in advance. Trying to make sure I know the material, and have done the required work well in advance, simply so I can make sure there's as little pressure as humanly possible. (Of course, stress-free is literally impossible given the whole IDEA of this training is effectively stressing us out now so we won't be stressed in an emergency, but preplanning and forethought go a LONG way to reducing stress as my antics now to the contrary may help demonstrate. 'Cause I am NOT calm right now; I'm panicking.) So I apparently screwed up a different way, too. Another training I need, albeit a short one.
Well...at least now I know. Well...today was a bust. Half my fault, half not. Most productive thing I did was have my talk with my boss, about my cert. Will see what comes next.
Uhg. Late. Didn't get to do lots of important stuff. Listening to a pretty cool song which I'm pretty sure is AWOL Nation, about a strong woman I think by the lyrics, appropriate for the date, but as soon as it finishes, going to bed. (I think it's Natural Woman? Would have to listen to the lyrics, might also be about a trans individual, dunno for sure, will look it up some time.)
Anyway, bed. You know, it's days like this I'm glad I work at a place that tends to forgive big massive screw-ups.
Because, uh, yeah...I... ...Kinda had a big massive screw-up. See, lifeguards have a bunch of lifeguard certificates they have to keep up to date. Most are every two years, but one (well, two, but always linked in the same class) is every year. Now, I knew I had taken the class last year in either March or May, and I wasn't sure which. So...I figured a few months ago, "come 2016, I'm going to check on the certs". In January, it felt too soon to check, but I knew I needed to in February. ...Problem is...while I needed to check it out in February...life happened. Lots of stuff came up, and the thought once so clear in my mind got pushed away until just recently. Now, as you already know, it's March already. So I should have checked already. I had not. Not until today. I knew it was possible it was this month, but thought it was May, or even if it was this month, that it was in the middle or near the end of this month. ...I was wrong. The cert expires...Tuesday. As in, the day after I'm writing this. Tomorrow. Technically today, since I'm typing it past midnight, but you get the picture. I messed up. I won't get fired for this sort of thing, and I don't think I'll be barred from working, especially since I let my boss know I need to take the recert class. Still sucks, though. On my last evaluation, it was noted that I keep up to date on my certs. This will ruin that record, meaning on my next evaluation, I'll probably get a sub-optimal rating. That's likely the only consequence, rather than something more severe, butstill...sucks all the same. I'm usually meticulously obsessive about this sort of thing. That I allowed it to slip by accidentally is...not fun. And, grr...this would apply regardless, but that DOES mean I'll need to do a lot of pre-reading most likely, maybe even take an online course PRIOR to the actual course (a pain), and then there's the actual testing which I almost always fail the first round of. Stressful, since you only get two tries and you're not supposed to lifeguard without the certificate, so if I fail the second time, well. I'm not sure what I'd do. So, just...uhg. This is a critical, vital part of my job, I know it is, I recognize why we have to do this, but that doesn't mean it's something I enjoy. So today, I had an idea. Basically, it would amount to a short "webcomic" of sorts, mostly words, but with some images, that would cover everything regarding some important matters, to the best of my knowledge. I would emphasize that I'm not an expert, that research is advised, that my definitions are simply off of what I personally have found and extrapolated, but to give feedback on what they are and why. A not-so-short list? Sexuality: Asexual, demisexual, pansexual, bisexual, homosexual, queer, a little quip about heterosexual. Romantic: Aromantic, demiromantic, panromantic, biromantic, homoromantic, queer, and a quip about heteromantic. Gender: transgender, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, genderfluid, bigender, agender, third gender, other gender, two-spirit, and a quip about cisgendered. And, while not an orientation, I'd also include polyamory, since it's on a similar topic, mostly covering the "not conforming to the mold" of love as traditionally defined (that being, "one man and one woman love and have sex with each other"). Of course, I would need to put in a ton of disclaimers everywhere, including how if I don't cover something, it's not because I think it unimportant: it's because I literally don't know, so people commenting should feel free to enlighten me. Love the idea. If I have the time for it, I think I can actually do it, too. Later: ...Addendum to above entry: I might have time for it...IF MY INTERNET WAS NOT BEING SO FREAKIN SLOW. It's moving at dinosaur speeds. As in, five minutes to load a page, speeds. This, without explanation.
Very frustrating. Another day, another time NOT taking control of my life.
I'm apparently quick to break promises. I don't know how I'll fix this QUITE yet. But somehow. SOMEHOW. I'll force my way through. I don't exactly have any better ideas. I know that going, "somehow I'll do it" isn't much of a plan, but...well...it's the only plan I've got. So, uh, yeah. I'll get it done, somehow. My mom knows.
We had a talk. I can't go into detail right now, but basically: it's time to take back control of my life. I need sleep, it IS an early tomorrow (I get 4.5 hours sleep if lucky), but...I'm going to get my life back on track. That's a promise now. Well, started job searching today...in theory. Still haven't actually done anything, though. But...progress!
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