...You don't feel good and don't want to go to work, yet aren't sick so you can't justifiably call in sick. Yep. That's me right now. It's not real sickness--not even pseudosickness. I don't have a stuffed up and/or runny nose, clogged up and/or sore throat, congestion, coughs, or anything like that. It's just an "uhg, I don't feel so great today" thing.

Suspected culprit: digestive tract. Where, who knows. Why, could be any number of reasons. I didn't get much sleep last night. (My fault, by the way. I began to get ready for bed at midnight. Games delayed me until nearly 3 am. So much for being responsible. *facepalm*)

I ate a meal at 2 am last night. (So much was my discomfort that I couldn't even eat breakfast at all...meaning at best I'll get an inquiry; at worst, a lecture. They're not mutually exclusive of course.) Even if not THAT meal, any number of prior meals may have triggered this.

It is also possible that while my symptoms are physical, the trigger was mental, as I have in fact been feeling depressed. It's also possible that this is my monthly problem; it's about the time of the month I have this sort of issue. (I mean, I'm not biologically female but sometimes it feels that way anyway.)

This could even be just...because it is, with no rhyme nor reason attached; sometimes things like this just happen to us. Or maybe it has some other cause I haven't thought of. Honestly, it's probably some combination of the above, so oh well. I'll just have to live with it.

It does kinda suck, but I'll live. The main concern I have for today (I'm writing this post-workout but pre-work) is gender dysphoria. The other guard today is (unlike normal) female. So too is the front desk attendant. Those days always seem to be worse, because in spite of my best efforts at dodging bullets, they often somehow find a way to ask of me tasks I find uncomfortable (to say the least) so don't be surprised if my next entry is an all-caps panic-induced breakdown.

​Later today, I'm hoping to give a Civ game update (I'm about to win, thus why I was delayed last night), as well as letting you know if I feel better. (I actually expect the answer to be yes physically. Mentally, well...hard to say. It really depends on the day.)

Well, last night was family night. We watched the first episode in season 4 of Sherlock.
My family was...
...Rather disappointed, feeling cheated by the episode.
And honestly, I can understand why--there have been dark Sherlock episodes in the past. But this one was...
...On a whole different level.

There was almost no humor throughout--and where the majority of the humor was, was near the beginning.
It was just a downer episode the whole way through. There was no grander mystery. There was no epic build-up. It was just one...long...continuous...moment after moment after moment of never-ending bleakness, of doom and gloom, never ceasing, never stopping.

Every step of the way, you expected either the episode to end, or for something to shift the tone and change things.
But if there was any twist at all to the episode, it was that it never happened. It would not at all surprise me if that was a deliberate creative choice: string people along, with one bad thing after another, with the expectation at every turn of there being a sudden and unexpected twist...with the letdown at a lack thereof being the twist, that it's just a depressing episode all-around and nothing can change it.

Given the occurrences within, I suppose I'm okay with that message: it accentuates, it highlights, just how much this is not a laughing matter, how serious the affair is. That doesn't mean the (very very very telegraphed) outcome is any better, though, especially since every step of the way you'll be watching, hoping it doesn't happen, knowing it will, and then being disappointed to learn things went exactly the way they seemed they would.

Now that said.
I still liked elements of the episode.
Sherlock might have had a slight troll streak within him before--but I absolutely love how that playful aspect of his nature got turned up to eleven. The sheer giddiness of him as he BSes stuff is absolutely amazing, and must be seen to be believed. It's wonderful, it's joyous, and it feels so right, especially for a character who has undergone so much development. It shows growth in personality and also embracing his image and running with the idea that he can do all sorts of complex things to arrive at an answer rather than the obvious simple thing.

Another thing I liked was his continued display at sheer boredom of formalities, and how he sometimes is genuinely not paying attention, yet at other times is clearly aware of his reputation and deliberately fakes having been not paying attention, again as part of that more trollish behavior. He started the series socially inept and basically in a position where he would always offend people accidentally.

Now he's more in a position where if he offends a person, he's usually doing so at least somewhat-deliberately, and it's often more playful, more harmless, in nature. He might not fully get people, but he's shown that he has grown to learn about people at the very least. Of course, this playful, joking nature is still a little bit on the quirky side, showing he hasn't quite mastered humor...but it's very, very nice to see all the same.

The third aspect of him I love and identify with is his insistence on keeping his promise. The way he views himself: as someone who can and will protect people. He genuinely thinks he can do it, that he can be that knight. This, from someone who originally claimed detachment from people, a lack of care for people.

He does care. And he wants to do everything in his power to save his friends. To help them, to protect them, to be the man they want him to be, even if he himself thinks he's not as good as that. But for them, he tries anyway, he made a promise and he really really really wants to keep it. His vow, his word, means so much to him. It's more than just his pride, his reputation, his image. It's more than just a contract. It's a promise. An unbreakable word.

So related to that. Seeing him freeze up, when he knows that he has failed. When he has failed, out of his own arrogance and knows he should be dead yet isn't. The sheer emotion coming off of him is so poignant. You can see the utter inability to comprehend what just happened, and lack of knowledge of "What do I do?!?"

He doesn't know. And if I had to guess. He had a desire to run away. The line "Don't you dare." Seems to be cutting deep, because it stops him from doing anything. He can't leave at that point. He can't speak at that point. He can't reach out. All he can do is just...stand there. In disbelief. In panic. In lack of understanding.

And that's why Sherlock continues to be a character I identify with. All of the traits I just laid out? These are things I myself have quite a bit of experience with. Sherlock might self-identify as a "High-functioning sociopath", but the traits he displays show continued prominence of more accurately being "somewhere on the autistic spectrum".

I mean, I'd have to look up the clinical definition of sociopathy (because all I know is the Hollywood version which I know is inaccurate), but from memory it essentially is "self-centered at all times". Protecting friends could fit that definition, I suppose, by a few leaps in (weak) logic (which goes against Sherlock's tendency towards stronger logic), but that process would more or less be "These people make me feel better and improve my life, so it is in my interests long-term to protect them even if that places short-term inconveniences on me". If so, that could be a valid reading of him, I guess.

But for me. If he's instead high-functioning autistic, the answer is far simpler: he feels very, very, very deep empathy for people. He might be more interested in challenges, in things to alleviate boredom, but he genuinely cares, not just for friends, but everyone. He absolutely sucks at recognizing social cues (whereas from my understanding Sociopaths tend to be really good at them), so he ends up saying insensitive things, yet he never intends harm, he never intends to be self-centered; his comments are genuinely innocent in nature.

And he works within the best confines of his knowledge. He protects those he is close to. He does the best he can to be what he thinks he should be. He is blunt, he will have a high level of self-awareness, knowing what he is and what he is not, and has low self-image of himself. Yet he still tries to better himself, not out of a need to blend in, but because of his genuine love of those he is close to. (It need not be romantic, either.)

He wants to care. He wants to help. He wants to assist. He tries. Yet when he faces an unexpected situation, something he didn't account for...he freezes up. He has no defined way of responding. He doesn't know what to do. So...he does nothing.

I also quite love his definition of a hunch, of it essentially being something the mind catches onto as being important faster than the brain processes--and that he, the logical genius he is, has hunches perfectly fits with what I've always thought about him. (It's especially fitting considering I play mafia games. And in fact, I largely played mafia games for the same reason Sherlock solved cases: just for the thrill of the hunt, the pursuit of the challenge.)

Anyway. I feel like I could go on all day about Sherlock, so perhaps there was stuff I meant to say but haven't, yet that ramble is enough for now. Instead, I suppose I should update you on the Sid-difficulty Civ game I'm playing. The computers cheat. A lot. They can pump out units literally every single turn. (It takes me at least two to produce mine, and often at the cost of 1-2 citizens' lives, minimum.)

They can also build wonders faster than humanly possible; literally every single wonder except for The Great Library, The Colossus (which is well on the way to being built by the Carthaginians who will beat me), and Bacchanalia (which requires resources only I have access to) has already been built, and frankly the ONLY way a human player on this difficulty level could have beaten the computers to it is if they had produced FIVE leaders from elite units (producing leaders being a very rare occurrence, so we're talking probably literally-hundreds-of-save-scums to maybe get one leader, yet alone five), and instead of producing Armies (in this campaign the only way to produce an army is from a leader, so), using them to hurry a wonder's production.

And yet the computers managed to build them with a ridiculous ease.
Also, my golden age ended, and so, even setting my science research to the minimal setting of 10%, I am losing money, fast. -39 per turn, fast. And only 31 of that is from unit cost. I am hopelessly technologically backwards at this point in time. I am going to run out of cash, which will really suck, since random units/buildings get disbanded if you're at 0 gold with negative income. (WELP.)

And, again, computers can churn out units at a ridiculous rate. In spite of me having taken Byzantium, Maronea, and Thessalonika, the Macedonians can field a ridiculously huge army. I'm marching towards Nesebur intent on taking it (on the bright side I'm now fielding Numidian Mercenaries who are defensively equal to the Macedonians' attack units so their attacks take less save scumming to foil), and I'm also thinking of marching my army towards Thebes.

Macedonia still has Sardica, Dyrrhachium, and Salonae to the north, with Ambracia next to Thebes, plus that huge number of units to overcome, but I'm thinking of doing that march anyway for one simple reason: the Macedonians built both The Oracle and The Temple to Artemis. Two of the more important wonders to have. (Temple to Artemis = temple in every city for free; The Oracle = doubles effects of temples.)

In a suitably-ironic turn of events, the Romans built Hadrian's Wall, and the Egyptians built the Great Lighthouse. Speaking of which: I decided that, thanks to my inevitable lack of resources and them having a wonder, I needed to war against the Egyptians. It was a little earlier than planned, but Gaza fell quickly; Pelusium fell quickly; Memphis fell quickly. I'm marching towards Alexandria (where The Great Lighthouse is, fittingly enough), and once I capture it, I'm probably going to start peace talks with the Egyptians: I want Byblos and Elephantine, but both are cities which if I tried to capture, I'd auto-raze them. Similarly so, Pi-Ranesses is near an incense source.

I'm not quite sure if I can wedge three cities during peace talks, but I want those cities, because I want control over all the luxuries on the southeastern half of the map. Northeastern would require invading the Scythians, which if at all possible I want to avoid: I want to war against, in order, Macedon-Egypt-Rome-Carthage.

The reason I want to avoid warring against the barbarian people is because for the most part, they're just not worth it. Scythia might be, eventually, once Macedon is gone, but I'd prefer to go after Rome. Rome, I want Hadrian's Wall from. A secondary goal would be halting their expansion. (Also, looking at the map, apparently they captured Caralis and thus control the Mausoleum wonder, so there's that, too.) That being, forcing them to live within Italy, unable to send their citizens forward and expand their empire.

In fact if I can manage it I'd actually just prefer to flat-out wipe Rome out. I don't want Rome to have iron. I would prefer them not having horses, either. To do that, I'd need to capture Rome and Canusium, optionally Croton as well...which basically would require me capturing ALL their cities of note.

Carthage, in that case (if I don't have to capture Caralis from them), is someone I'd avoid warring. Next I'd probably war the Scythians, once I positioned my troops accordingly, though if I conquered Rome, the Celts would be an option, too. (The Goths are too far away to ever be worth warring.)

You might wonder why I'm so focused on warring.
To repeat: this is Sid difficulty. 
Now I'm not going to face defeat at any point, as long as I can avoid my military being massacred not by the enemy but by budget cuts.
I'm in the dominant position world-wise. So yes, this is basically victory by default especially with the Macedonians eliminated eventually.

But.

39 in the hole.

I'm churning out settlers as fast as I can. (Each town, 2 units. Each city--7+ units--4 unit support. Don't really get Metropolises given this difficulty but that'd be 8. So I get a net-benefit from colonizing quickly, with a bunch of cities defended by a single unit. Well, towns. But you get the idea.)

Yet the only way I'm going to bridge that gap before my limited treasury runs out (432 gold and decreasing) is...by getting a lot of extra cities, and quickly.

Soyeah.
Conquest it is!
That's the name of the game, after all.

The faster I win a domination victory, the better. I'm half-way there, both by world area and population. It'll be tricky getting all the way there. Yet I think I can manage.

But whatever it was, family night stripped away most of my thoughts there.
Now I can only remember one thing.
Now granted.
It's a good thing to remember and blog about, but I had two or three things I was gonna blog about, and now I've just got the one. Oh well.

​Basically, I was at work. Work could have gone any number of different ways, but I decided to take a legally-required lunch break at a certain time, and on my way to Subway, take a certain route--I never made it to Subway, because along the way, I was intercepted by some of the seniors, who invited me to the senior potluck.

Now, I am not a senior.
I may be one in spirit, thanks to our similarities.
We were both raised on the same types of music.
We both dance to the music.
We're both kids at heart.
We both smile and laugh.
We talk to each other a lot.
So I might be an honorary senior.

Yet, I am still not myself a senior.
So I hate to impose on a thing which is theirs, especially after it is technically supposed to be wrapping up.

I couldn't say no, though.
It was just so...so nice of them, and I do enjoy interacting with them a lot.

I probably had more to say, but it's nearly 2 am, so my thought process is basically 12 hours old at this point, meaning my mind is deeeeeeeeead.

Not quite enough to not be playing Civ 3 (I just as I was typing this blog post had a breakthrough; I'm about to capture Cyzicus since their 1/4 swordsman can only be victorious against my 1/4 archer so many times given his 2 defense against my 2 attack means we're even and that's quite literally their last defender there), but enough where I'm not able to form many coherent thoughts.

​So, that'll be it for now.

I might as well talk about it since I have nothing better to do.
Well, actually, I do have something better to do, it's just that I can't actually muster the willpower to do it.
It's stupid of me but it is what it is so I guess I'm talking Civ here.

I believe last time I left you I was moving my forces in. Well, update: I'm in the transition between 325 BC and 320 BC. I captured Sardica, where Macedon's army was stationed (and thus, I destroyed it, giving me the edge in this war). My army is outside Sardica and next turn moves to Antandrus. (I also have an immortals at the forest between Cyzicus/Byzantium, with a second immortals approaching next turn.) I have a 3/4 wounded immortals (backed by two archers and a horseman, with two other horsemen nearby) posed to attack Miletus next turn.

I've got two archers posed to attack Cyzicus next turn, defended by a wounded 3/4 spearman.
Both the spearman and the immortals have a defense of 2.

The problem I face is that the immortals to the south is being attacked by a 3-attack veteran swordsman.
And my spearman is being attacked by a 3-attack veteran hoplite.
And Cyzicus has a 3-attack veteran swordsman.
In a worst-case scenario, leaving me with a dead immortals, dead spearman, and dead archer, with Cyzicus heavily fortified and Miletus with strong defenses.

I can't save all my units.
But I've instilled a "best 2/3" policy.
I can lose the immortals to the south if my spearman kills the swordsman in Cyzicus.
I can lose my spearman to the north if my immortals live and so do both my archers.

Now, admittedly, I've thrown out wins I probably shouldn't have, where the archer killed the swordsman.
If one of those comes up, in spite of it being only 1/3 wins, I'll take it at this point.
But I am sticking to this.
Cyzicus must lose its swordsman or have me keep both my southern immortals and two archers with the swordsman killing my spearman and the hoplite killed by my spearman.

These are my terms.

They...are apparently hard terms to fulfill.
But I'll manage it.
It's just a matter of time and patience.
This might be Sid difficulty.

And I might be at a slight defensive disadvantage.
But this is no "26 units with double the attack".
This is doable.

I might need to compromise, with the above.
But I'm not letting myself see only one archer live; I'm not seeing that swordsman alive unless my immortals also lives and both archers live.

​As many times as it takes, I'll get that.

All my energy, all my drive, all my passion is gone.
I had a bundleload I wanted to talk about, a conglomeration of today and yesterday but it's all just...gone. Gone, desire and knowledge and thought. Basically, ability. I lost my drive.

I wanted to do stuff tonight. I wanted to be around to maybe be productive, but I just.
I can't.

I can waste time on civ. (And am.)
I can talk to people in private conversations. (And am.)
I can chat about things in any area where I'm even vaguely following along.
But if I'm not.

Then I just.
I can't.

And that's very frustrating.

Welp, depression here I come.
​I'll figure out how to get out of it.

I'll inevitably have more to say later, but for the moment, I'd like to take this moment to recognize some sad news, especially for a Seattlite. (I mean, I don't live even remotely near Seattle, but all the same I still hold much the spirit of one.)

Basically, as I was driving home, I was noticing, "Huh. 98.9 is playing a lot of Soundgarden and similar bands, wonder why?"

It didn't take long before I heard, "Celebrating the life and music of Chris Cornell", and instantly, I went, "Uh-oh...", and maaaaaaaaaay have begun speeding in order to get home faster just to figure out the truth, since that is a phrase usually reserved for one thing, and one thing only.

Sure enough, as of last night apparently, he's no longer alive. And apparently by his own hand, given he died from hanging. It's such a sad, sad, heartbreaking thing. Apparently the curse of Seattle is strong--most famously with Kurt Cobain of Nirvana's suicide, but there's also Layne Stanley AND Mike Starr from Alice in Chains. (I personally never heard the name because it was before my time and yet not as famously so as Kurt Cobain, but there's also Andrew Wood, from a predecessor band to bands like Pearl Jam and Temple of the Dog. Similarly so, John Baker Saunders of a band with Pearl Jam/Alice in Chains members.)

If you extend it to include California bands, you can also add in Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots) and Bradley Nowell (Sublime). The full list is even longer than that, I'd have to do more extensive research than that. Butstill, we lose a lot of great minds, and it's heartbreaking at how many of those aren't of natural causes. Drugs are bad enough, but flat-out suicide is even more tragic.

So I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge a great grunge legend and pay my respect with this blog entry. It's not much, but...it's something, at least.

I know. Anyway. So I should be getting to bed relatively soonish, meaning I won't be going for the full-blown ramble here. Stuff happened tonight which might be interesting, but I suppose it'll wait until the morning. (Some have already heard of the happenings, but among them are dance and in a twist of events a rant not about dance...though I easily COULD rant about dance...)

But anyway.
For Civ, I decided to let the Carthage campaign rest. I had basically taken absolute control of the Mediterranean, save a single Celtic city. Instead, I wanted to test the "victory by default" hypothesis for Persia, and chose the highest difficulty level, which I misremembered: not Deity. It's actually Sid. (As in, Sid Meyer's, as in, game founder's.)

...Turns out I can actually hold my own quite well. Now, granted. It's only 335 BC. I've yet to spot Greece's natural army, which is somewhere nearby, I'm sure. My invasion force for Cyzicus is pitiful: two archers and a now-wounded spearman. (He fended off a swordsman.)

I've got three units (an immortal and two archers) marching towards Sardis. A fourth, a horseman, killed the Hoplite who killed a spearman (I was going for "best of 2/3" when I had three units attacked), but got slightly wounded and is resting outside. I've got FOUR units approaching Miletus (though they easily could divert to Sardis as necessary): a wounded veteran immortals, a horseman, and two archers.

My army (a veteran immortals, singular) is looking to intercept the immortals I'm fielding in 3ish turns. Normally, from the Egyptians, I would buy Gaza--this time, however, I bought Kmun. (I intend to invade and take Gaza by force, then Pelusium, when I have the troops to do so, and also to defend Khmun.)

I couldn't get any cities from the Romans (no surprise, given their small starting size), but even on Sid I had any number of choices from the Carthaginians. Mind you, most were terrible: Gabes (middle of their territory, nothing there), Thenae (ditto), Olbia (island with nothing), Aleria (island with nothing), Mersa Madakh (nothing), and Carmona. (Edge of the world, basically nothing.)

Carmona, however, is loosely next to a source of spices, so that's what I ended up going for.

I'm sure when I see the real strength of the Macedonians (I'm actually anticipating the mother of all counterattacks next turn to decimate my forces), I'll be in panic mode. Especially for the vulnerable Cyzicus forces. But I'll manage. Even on Sid. I'm anticipating that on this computers-are-royally-cheating difficulty level, me to utterly be trounced wonder-wise and tech-wise, but I'll be trying all the same for the wonders.

Apparently, score scales with difficulty, since I'm only a few turns in and my score is already 5858--higher than my final score as Carthage. Right now I'm at the default 7% of world area (largest, with Macedon at 4), and 20% of world population (Carthage has me beat at 24%).

This is the third turn though, so we'll have to see how it goes. I need to keep my citizens happy since they literally complain with less than 3 in a city. The good news is, though, I'm apparently doing okay in terms of other aspects. 72% approval places me second, 1433000 population places me 3rd, GNP at 202 million places me 2nd, Manufactured Goods at 94 megatons places me at 3rd, I have the most land area, second-highest literacy (at 0%), lowest pollution, highest life expectancy, second-highest family size, and highest annual income.

Athens appears to have a population problem, too.

​I'll have to keep you updated on how things go.

So I randomly cooked up the beginning of a catchy tune like literally five minutes ago. It started out as just something meant to be a little tongue-in-cheek humorous, but I actually think that it grew into something heartfelt and serious, which I found pretty neat. Work in progress title would be 'criminal', and all I got was what I thought the chorus might be, so I don't have much but I found it neat all the same.

Here, have a look to see what you think.

Guiding principle
To criminals:
It's not illegal
Until you're caught
Sell all you want,
Until you're bought

Do the banned,
Have cunning plans,
It's who I am,
Part of me,
Remain unseen,
Live life free.


Not bad for five minutes--could probably use refinement, but I should be doing schoolwork right now so.
See ya later. After school, straight to dance, then we'll have to see if I think of anything else for today.

So as it turns out, the Persians were easily distracted by a simple, yet effective strategy:
Juggling.
That being, with them lacking the Engineering research (forcing them to lose a turn when crossing rivers), me sending my units from Ambracia to be visible had them send their advancing army that was headed towards Sardica back. (It turned out Ambracia was never their target at all.) And then, when those units would hastily retreat, the immortals would then advance forward, back towards Sardica.

This is what in tower defense games would be referred to by that term. I went from having like 40 immortals to deal with down to 14 or so--they disappeared, retreating, once I captured Melitene. (And for good reason--with me controlling Melitene after a recent culture expansion, I controlled 20% of the world, thus, winning.)

The northern offensive was completely abandoned. I mean. I'm gonna face a southern offensive soon enough--but that'll be pathetically easy to deal with by the time the units make the long march down. Heck, I'm right on their tails, chasing them with a unit which is faster than they are, so quite frankly, they'll incur loss after loss retreating, while I advance forward. 

I did end up sacrificing Thessalonika in order to pull this off. I also lost a few good units. A war elephant to the south (admittedly a scout). A swordsman to the north. But basically, the point I'm making is...not only did I win the game, I won the war in the game.

And the final result? A listed score of 2361...by far eclipsing whatever score I had as the Persians. Meaning, yes. I have cemented my place as the Carthaginians on the high scores, beating the challenge. It's so satisfying. I took the time in the endgame to note the destroyed cities I actually cared about.

Namely: there's a Roman city I wanted to capture but ended up sacking by default. That city was Aquileia. (There was also their final city which I missed the name of, oh well.) Maronea was a Macedonian city between Thessalonika and Byzantium which the Persians razed. Thermopylae is a city to the southern part of Greece which Persia destroyed. Corinth was the island city Persia destroyed and also reformed as Greece's current capital city. And Thebes is the other city I destroyed.

So RIP, cities destroyed, (various years they were founded) - (various years they were destroyed), may you rest in pieces and maybe eventually have a settlement replaced on top of your ruins.
​By me, of course.

So I have myself the exact numbers, for a worst-case scenario in regards to the Persians when burning Thessalonica:
A regular 2/3 archer and 3/4 Immortals in two different places (so, four), fortified and presumably healing their wounds, inflicted from passing by an army.

Two veteran immortals approaching Sardica (my easternmost city) slowly.
One veteran immortal on the olive oil closest to Ambracia. (The city I'm closest to losing.)
One elite 3/5 immortal (he killed Greek cannon fodder) outside my city boarders, presumably fortifying next turn to begin recovering health.
One veteran immortal having driven back my elite heavy cavalry.
14 full-health veteran immortals slowly approaching Ambracia...with three full-health regular immortals, one wounded veteran immortal, one wounded regular immortal, three regular archers, and a fourth wounded regular archer. (Total: 26.)

23 immortals slowly moving towards Sardica, with them evenly split between veteran and regular. (Remember, this is the same force which was attacking Thessalonica.)
The single heavy cavalry to the south.

A few spearmen to the south (a little over half a dozen scattered about. Actually almost a dozen total), with a single wounded Immortals. (Basically, cannon fodder which can't attack literally at all. This is the units they send to be annoying.)

And that's it.

And get this: the Persians are willing to negotiate.

Keep in mind on a bad turn where my armies fail to hold Thessalonica I've tried negotiating with them just out of curiosity as to whether they would and they refused the envoy. Meaning that apparently, my scorched earth tactic? It actually works.

Because at my disposal, I've got...two regular swordsmen, a veteran numidian mercenary, and two heavy cavalry in Ambracia (that's not enough to hold the line against 26 units by the way), with more capable of being created (I can create one or two Heavy Cavalry per turn, by burning my gold stockpile), my badly-wounded heavy cavalry, two heavy cavalry who are partially wounded, my three armies, a badly-wounded elite archer, a spare regular Numidian mercenary, and one Numidian Mercenary defending Sardica.

Since any non-mobile unit attacking the horde is suicidal, that comes out to be three heavy cavalry attacks (one requiring heavy save scumming, two likely requiring fair amounts of save scumming) in the open, six army attacks, and two heavy cavalry attacks from Ambracia.

With me able to make one extra heavy cavalry at Ambracia before the Persians reach there, and one extra heavy cavalry at Sardica before the Persians reach there.

If I'm lucky, I might be able to in the southern front capture Melitene in that timeframe, too. (Capturing Melitene would cut the Persians off. I'd have preferred to do that at Byzantium, but isolating the top half of their cities from their bottom half works just as well.

So I think I'll be going for this.
And then instead of scorched earth for all my cities there, negotiating peace when the Persians are right on the doorstep. Now, admittedly.

I don't think the peace will last.
I'd be churning out military units to the north the entire time were peace arranged.
Maybe I'd make barracks up there if necessary, too.
But I'd be mostly just pumping out military units left and right.
Because I'd be preparing for a second wave.

It wouldn't need to last, though. Just give my troops time to rest, recover, gather their strength, and then show the Persians why it was a bad idea to assume they held the edge just because they could swarm me while I wasn't at full-strength.

I'll have my revenge.

I'll just have it...at a later time.
Maybe even post-victory, since again, at 19% of world area, need 20% to win, losing Thessalonica doesn't set me back to 18%, and gaining Melitene would be literally identical to Thessalonica in size effectively, so it's right there on the edge of expanding, with me having cities preparing to​ expand.