I hold no plans to die.
Quite the opposite.
I've stated on numerous occasions I plan to live forever.
But of course, naturally, plans never live up to reality and realistically speaking even if it's literally a hundred years from now, even if in spite of my numerous bad health habits I somehow live to be a centennial, and an older one at that. Even if technological advancements help stave off the many deaths I am likely to face.
Something, at some point, will eventually do me in.
The best I can hope for is that this is an event that is far-flung into the future, that the death is at some distant future time rather than suddenly in the immediate future.
Which is, of course.
Nothing special. It's the same everyone wishes for, pretty much. A long, fulfilling, happy life.
Yet inevitably at some point it will end, and I've come to the conclusion that there are only two possible methods for this to happen.
The first is something so sudden and abrupt that I'm dead before I know it, with no warning, whatsoever. We're talking, something that I literally don't see coming, that one minute I'm alive and literally a second later I am dead. Think, bullet through the brain, type here. Something which takes me out so fast I don't even know I'm being taken out.
These are few and far between, but you never know. Obviously if one of these happens to me, I can't exactly survive it.
The second is to die in my sleep, and this is by far the more likely.
Now, I would like to note, it is specifically sleep that would be the deadly cause. Not slipping into unconsciousness. (Though sudden unconsciousness without warning, you could I suppose classify as synonymous to the above sudden death without warning.)
When push comes to shove, I feel that if I were in a situation where I knew my life was slipping away, I'd have the willpower to stave off an eternal sleep. I could fight back against unconsciousness, keep myself from passing out regardless of injury, regardless of what affects me, because I know that if I didn't I'd die and I have an incredible willpower when I need to have one, to survive.
But the body does need sleep. I can avoid sleep when in an urgent situation where sleep equals death. I can avoid sleep when in that sort of emergency. But eventually the body does need sleep. All humans need sleep at some point. Yet a problem exists with sleep, which makes it truly the most terrifying of fates, and also the far, far, far more likely to cause my demise.
When I'm asleep, because I am asleep and have no active thought. Well. With no active thought, I have no defense mechanism. Willpower comes from the will to keep thinking; inherent in sleep, is the inability to think, at least not consciously.
And sure, my subconscious mind may be more amazing than my conscious mind when it comes to things like creativity and the like. It is responsible for keeping things functioning, too; the subconscious mind does things like breathing and blinking among the more mundane tasks unless we take it upon ourselves to do them consciously. Balance, mostly subconscious; we don't think how to walk, so much as we just do it instinctively.
The subconscious mind knows how to do a lot of things. And it has a tremendous ability to keep you alive even in situations where doctors would declare someone braindead; there are many stories of miraculous recoveries from being braindead, and it's largely the subconscious keeping things ticking to thank for that.
But the subconscious, while an amazing thing which is tremendously powerful at keeping things going. Has its limitations. It will act in ways we don't want it to sometimes, and can shut down things which need to not shut down in order to live. It tries, but it is still imperfect; like any human, like any computer, it can make errors.
Not to mention, even the subconscious mind can, when stressed passed its breaking point, shut down, and that's the terror of sleep. If the subconscious mind shuts off while the conscious mind is awake, the conscious mind can fight for life long enough for a 'reboot' of sorts to take place in the subconscious.
But if the subconscious mind shuts off while the conscious mind is asleep...that's death. When we release control of our bodies to the subconscious, when we sleep, we are trusting our subconscious to guide us through to the other side and awaken us up again, bring our conscious self back, once we have done what we need to do in sleep mode.
Yet the subconscious mind can't always do that. And the conscious mind in that regard beats the subconscious. With enough will to live, I fully believe that if I'm awake, I could, sayyyyyy...survive a plane crash from thousands of feet in the air. Fully alive through it, too. Fully conscious.
I'd be able to fight off the unconsciousness that would lead to certain death.
But after the fact.
At some point.
I would need to sleep.
Sleeping is necessary, especially to heal these life-threatening injuries. The subconscious mind does a better job than the conscious mind at mending injuries.
But it is still a period of vulnerability, due to the risk of total system failure.
The subconscious mind and conscious mind work as backups for one another; when one fails, the other can keep the body going. But when both are down...only death awaits.
So it's for this reason I'm convinced that whenever I do die, it'll be in my sleep.
It's kinda terrifying, when you think about it. Every day could be your last, but you assume it won't be, especially if you're like me and assume your will to live will overcome any otherwise-lethal obstacle.
But every night you have no guarantee you'll wake to see tomorrow, even if you're like me, because you have no choice but to release control at some point.
I wouldn't be afraid to go to bed tonight, though.
I intend to live forever.
And statistically speaking.
The odds are on my side that I'll wake to see tomorrow.
For over 9,125 days, I have gone to sleep and woken up. That's 9,125+ proofs of no incoming mortality.
151,600 people may die every day.
But there are approximately 7,442,000,000 people alive in the world.
Do the math; that's a 0.0020370868046224% chance of my death happening.
The math OVERWHELMINGLY supports that, yes, tomorrow will come for me; I will in fact live.
When you combine the promising math with my intention to live forever, I can go to bed each night in peace, knowing I am going to wake again tomorrow.