I just can't think of what to blog about. Games? Having done taxes? Game ideas? Story ideas? I just. I legit can't think of what I want to blog about, I can't focus on something for long enough to form a bloggable thought. Like, I will be thinking of things, and then I will think of things that are related to that which allow me to internally write it, but externally I just can't get those thoughts to flow into my words that I am writing.
These words that I am writing flow naturally. What I am writing now is second nature. It's fluid. It's natural. It's pouring out of my mind onto my keyboard. Basically raw thoughts, raw emotion, just written down as it comes out. What's the term, something about fluid thought? State of thought? There's a term that I should have memorized because it was popular in mafia games circa like 8 or so years ago OH got it, "stream of consciousness".
Right now I have stream of consciousness posting cranked up to 11. There's no preplanning of my thoughts. There's just freeform, where it's going from whatever feels natural to type that comes straight from my brain, almost no filter involved.
I do have more thoughts that are blog-worthy running through my mind, but they're not at the forefront. That might be a plurality thing at play where my body is more or less acting on its own, with the body writing the words and the minds that are my facets thinking more specific things with the core just being the things that take no effort to make and think, just flow, but like...
...I dunno, it's just that. Well. I prefer to have blogs that are somewhat preplanned, structured, where I know what I want to talk about, what will be involved, how I will say it, what it will be about, subjects covered, the indepth nature of them, etc. I don't really like to go with the flow like this one is but like.
Hey, at least it's better than not making one I guess?
In fact, sad and pathetic as it may be, this is probably the longest most indepth most "interesting" blog post I've made in weeks, maybe even months, because I've kept it going, even though I kinda loathe this sort of ramble. Like, most of my rambles have structure to them. A madness to the method, sure, but with method in the madness. They were chaotic, they were ADHD manifested with my inability to focus and having distracting thoughts come up.
But most of the time, even those rambles have structure between one thought and the other. I might not have the ideas tied together well, but I have the ideas neatly separated and the ideas are each coherent on their own even if they have no segue, no transition, involved from one to the other.
Yet this one just has none of that. It's just one continuous "mess", and while I realize this may be the most interesting blog I've written in who knows how long to some people, with some people loving this style for the freestyleness of it where you're getting my beginning-to-show-tiredness-but-not-yet-utterly-exhausted freeflow of word vomit, but like.
While I get that there's a market for that sort of content.
While I get that there is an audience who enjoys that sort of spew.
I, personally, as the one making it: hate it. It's not my thing. It's hard to follow, it's hard to read back later. Like, while I may have forgotten to do this in a long time, in theory I have plans to reread the entirety of my blog for tag-checking in order to get the tags there that need to be there.
Structured blogs like the ones I prefer are easy to sort through en masse, since sifting through them is as simple as looking at one topic then looking at the next.
This blog?
Will I ever be able to read this blog again?
Well in theory yes, maybe, but in practice, probably not, no.
And if I can't read my own words after I've written them, that's an issue, so that's why I hate what I am doing right now for a blog thanks to the blogger's block, in spite of knowing that it is interesting to some people. It's just not "my thing", but ah well. A blog's a blog, I guess.
These words that I am writing flow naturally. What I am writing now is second nature. It's fluid. It's natural. It's pouring out of my mind onto my keyboard. Basically raw thoughts, raw emotion, just written down as it comes out. What's the term, something about fluid thought? State of thought? There's a term that I should have memorized because it was popular in mafia games circa like 8 or so years ago OH got it, "stream of consciousness".
Right now I have stream of consciousness posting cranked up to 11. There's no preplanning of my thoughts. There's just freeform, where it's going from whatever feels natural to type that comes straight from my brain, almost no filter involved.
I do have more thoughts that are blog-worthy running through my mind, but they're not at the forefront. That might be a plurality thing at play where my body is more or less acting on its own, with the body writing the words and the minds that are my facets thinking more specific things with the core just being the things that take no effort to make and think, just flow, but like...
...I dunno, it's just that. Well. I prefer to have blogs that are somewhat preplanned, structured, where I know what I want to talk about, what will be involved, how I will say it, what it will be about, subjects covered, the indepth nature of them, etc. I don't really like to go with the flow like this one is but like.
Hey, at least it's better than not making one I guess?
In fact, sad and pathetic as it may be, this is probably the longest most indepth most "interesting" blog post I've made in weeks, maybe even months, because I've kept it going, even though I kinda loathe this sort of ramble. Like, most of my rambles have structure to them. A madness to the method, sure, but with method in the madness. They were chaotic, they were ADHD manifested with my inability to focus and having distracting thoughts come up.
But most of the time, even those rambles have structure between one thought and the other. I might not have the ideas tied together well, but I have the ideas neatly separated and the ideas are each coherent on their own even if they have no segue, no transition, involved from one to the other.
Yet this one just has none of that. It's just one continuous "mess", and while I realize this may be the most interesting blog I've written in who knows how long to some people, with some people loving this style for the freestyleness of it where you're getting my beginning-to-show-tiredness-but-not-yet-utterly-exhausted freeflow of word vomit, but like.
While I get that there's a market for that sort of content.
While I get that there is an audience who enjoys that sort of spew.
I, personally, as the one making it: hate it. It's not my thing. It's hard to follow, it's hard to read back later. Like, while I may have forgotten to do this in a long time, in theory I have plans to reread the entirety of my blog for tag-checking in order to get the tags there that need to be there.
Structured blogs like the ones I prefer are easy to sort through en masse, since sifting through them is as simple as looking at one topic then looking at the next.
This blog?
Will I ever be able to read this blog again?
Well in theory yes, maybe, but in practice, probably not, no.
And if I can't read my own words after I've written them, that's an issue, so that's why I hate what I am doing right now for a blog thanks to the blogger's block, in spite of knowing that it is interesting to some people. It's just not "my thing", but ah well. A blog's a blog, I guess.
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