Where you don't particularly feel like doing much, but what you do feel like doing is things you know you absolutely shouldn't be doing?
...Yeah that was me today.
I had all day free.
I could have done anything.
I did games.
Knowing that I could do anything, and that there were things I should have been doing. Work-work, for instance (why did I even bother to bring the laptop home if not to work?!?), but also other stuff.
I'm just.
Well.
Today is solid proof I'm in another depressive episode.
The bipolar is extra strong today--at times, there were flashes of the appetite I should have. Two or three times, the whimsy overcame me to eat something meaningful. And yet, when I tried to eat, suddenly, I could only eat half of what I should.
Worse, this was paired with the above. I did not need to have that chocolate muffin. I did need to either finish my lunch or have the other two hot dogs which were my supper; both I left only half finished. (I did eat half the hot dogs, but I should have eaten all four.)
I'm just.
I'm just making all the wrong decisions today.