All Too Human
All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

Today's both a nothingness day and yet not one.

6/25/2022

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Well, to explain: I actually had work today. Instantly, that means that the day is automatically more productive from an adulting perspective than a normal Saturday is (since those are normally my day off).

So, that being there is something that I spent productive time on.

​Of course, subjectively, not productive since it's not furthering any of my goals aside from "continued employment" (which, to be fair, is a good goal to have, it's just not really a goal as I think of goals being).

I had a streamer who normally doesn't stream today but who I try to catch every stream of, streaming today which ate up 80% of the day. This is not really productive, but since I watch them every Tuesday Thursday Friday and Sunday, catching (most of) their stream and doing what I normally do there, was worth it overall.

That streamer played Stardew Valley and it was mentioned about "have you 100%ed it yet", and I haven't, but I know the two things I need to do: fishing and mining. (Mostly, monster-slaying.)

I'm still working on Stardew Valley farm stuff. I want to reorganize my things so that every single item I'm stacking multiple of has their own chest (maybe multiple) in a logical location, and that things I'm not stacking but are related, are grouped as well. I also want more farm animals, to max out my barns.

Beyond that, I want to optimize the beach farm, to make it be as space-efficient as possible, matching the efficiency of the greenhouse.

But mostly?

Mostly, I've done everything I want to. Wife and kid maintenance needs to be done daily, but I've completed basically everything else, and achieved everything I set out to do, pretty much. (I might have a golden walnut or two not found, but I'll check that next time I do a save file check.)

So I figured, "yaknow what, why don't we start progressing the two things I haven't?", so...I did exactly that! I caught 2/5 of the base legendary fish. In one day.

It's not complete, obv, but it's progress at least!

So, like.

Productivity-wise, not much done, but it wasn't nothing!

Today was also the 1-year anniversary of my having come out as a girl in real life to my family.

It had some fanfare to the occasion, but was mostly, not noteworthy. That's kinda disappointing, I admit. It was something that to me, is a very big deal, but like...there's no festivities to it.

I was trying to celebrate it with an art piece, but...
Lesbian Transwoman BG
Lesbian Transwoman Background
...This was meant to be just the background.

It was meant to have a complete drawing of me in it, with text having my name in it, too.

I started at the beginning of the month.

I barely got this much done.

So like.

I didn't get the fanfare done myself, so the lack of fanfare is mostly my own fault.

Ah well, it is what it is.

It's a huge event to me, but there's more to celebrate than just today, there will be future celebrations as long as I live.
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Good lord I'm dumb.

6/24/2022

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I was gift-wrapped an entire day to do as I please, pretty much.

How did I spend it?

...Playing TFTilt and ending up a full rank lower than I was when I began.

​And this is why I am wasting my life.
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Not feeling well today.

6/23/2022

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I don't know why but my solution:

​Rest.
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There's never enough time.

6/22/2022

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To do one thing I have to give up on doing another.

But like.

I still have a ton that I want/need to get done.

Just simple daily tasks and maintenance are things that I am somewhat struggling to keep up with--and at least a part of me is about to have an overwhelming desire to take on even more.

Plus, one task technically doubles up, as of recently.

​There's a bunch to do and so little time for it all.
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Too tired to blog.

6/21/2022

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God there's so much I need to do and so little time for it all.

I have to give up on things to do other things but there's nothing I want to give up on...
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Okay so today my memory isn't garbage.

6/20/2022

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I know pretty much exactly what I did today.

It wasn't much in terms of productivity, but it was incredibly productive in terms of plurality with me making breakthrough after breakthrough after breakthrough there.

I really, really, really SHOULD make a blog about my plurality and the breakthroughs I've had in the last half year or so.

After all, last y'all knew in my blog, I only knew of 2-3 major facets and didn't know much about them.

We're up to five and each we know a heck of a lot about.

Today I finally found a name for the main one (you're reading her writing right now!), and also we developed a bit of a theory for how the five facets formed as they did.

Also, did I mention that my lifelong childhood imaginary friend has been far more prominent in our life than we ever realized? And that we might now know what form of plurality that childhood imaginary friend is, and have given them a name?

Like.

When I say that there's been a LOT.

I mean it.

I just haven't actually blogged about any of it.

I really should.

I just...don't feel like doing so tonight.

So this is all you get for now, my apologies.
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Good lord my memory is garbage.

6/19/2022

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I know that today was huge for doing things but I genuinely have no memory of what they were.

I guess that a huge thing is that my breasts now have bounce to them! When I hop up and down, they actually jiggle, which is a very new thing and means that they are large enough to be under the effects of the law of physics, affected by gravity.

​But beyond that, while I know today was a huge day for things, I remember...nothing.
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Okay so for, like, future reference:

6/18/2022

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Barring extreme extenuating circumstances, it is basically impossible for me to sleep until like 4-5 pm.

I will always wake up at or before like 2-3 pm.

So if I vibe too hard and stay up until 10 am, then I'm not going to get my target amount of sleep of 6-7 hours.

I'm trying to, as part of optimizing my life while being healthy, get the same amount of sleep consistently, and to keep it in that 6-7 hour range. Sometimes, I get less; sometimes, I may need a little extra. But overall, I'm aiming for 6-7 hours as the range.

I know that people need different amounts of sleep to be "healthy", and it's possible that 6-7 is too little, but while my aging body could have changed this, from experience I know that in the past, ~6-7 was(/is?) my ideal amount.

I can function off of less, but I get way more tired and am far more vulnerable to being sick.

But more sleep than that doesn't seem to make a difference. If anything, I think that it might be oversleeping.
I'm not feeling less tired by sleeping 8-10 hours.
I'm not feeling more healthy by sleeping 8-10 hours.
I'm not feeling better in any way shape or form in those 8-10 hour sleep sessions.

So like. If I'm not feeling better in that range, but I know that I feel worse on less than 6 hours of sleep, that means that the most optimal range where I feel the best is ~6-7 hours.

I'm also somewhat trying to get the times slightly closer together, albeit not so much a deliberate effort as much as it is, coincidentally happens to be needed.

Work is going to move to an hour earlier on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. And I need to take showers 3-4 times a week. It takes me 2-3 hours to shower and an additional 1-2 hours to prep for work so if I want time to work out (which I do), I need to get up an hour earlier.

I currently leave at ~12:45 - 1:30, so an hour earlier will be ~11:45 - 12:30. Which means that I need to get up 3-5 hours before that, meaning ~8 am for shower-work days and ~10 am for non-shower days. And since I get up at ~5 am on Thursdays and Sundays, this will bring my up-time to around the same time, within a few hours.

So that means more consistency across the board, which I think will be healthier overall.

Butyeah.

I'm mostly aiming for the same general area for sleep amount and get-up time although when I stream I will always be staying up later than normal.

Speaking of which, I kinda hate that every time I get into the streaming groove, real life kinda gets in the way.

​I can theoretically stream late late late on Sundays, but doing so is situational as it'd be after the streamer I watch finishes, and it'd be giving up on watching the LCO--I don't want that.
Ditto for Mondays.
Tuesdays, I theoretically can, but if I want to take a shower on Wednesday, then I can't do all three of {stream, get 6-7 hours sleep, shower}, so I'd be giving up on one of them, maybe two.
Wednesdays, I can't because I have work on Thursday mornings (tho this might be changing soon).
Thursdays, I might be able to fit in a bonus day stream, but it'd be short and would detract from nap time for a Thursday Night stream.
Saturdays, I theoretically can, but I use Saturdays as a rest day/chill day, and often there are streamers I want to watch.

​There's not many times I can stream, so the times I already do, are all I can do.

But far too often, even if I have the lucidity to stream and the physical energy to, real life is dictating I can't.

For instance, this upcoming week, I have things on both Friday and Saturday, which means no Thursday or Friday streams.

Which also means not doing story games like Final Fantasy VII or Chrono Trigger--even though I literally have finished doing the offline grinding that stopped me from progressing both of them.

I'm ready to stream them.

I just need the ability to stream them.

And it's frustrating that I can't pursue it.

​I do what I can tho.
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I was super-productive!

6/17/2022

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Did a great stream!!!

​Climbed in TFT!

​But it 10 am now so I need sleep!
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I'm tireddddd.

6/16/2022

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I need sleep. Desperatelyyyyy.
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