I've been swampedddddd. Not getting enough sleep, doing a bunch of work...life's been hectic for me recently.

I've got a bunch of story work to do, because the number of stories to write for farn is officially increasing from two to three. And I'm actually working on expanding the roster of villains. (I've got a full roster of heroes, albeit heroes that I need to justify why they are doing what they do, but villains...I'm coming up short. So I've been working on fixing that. Mostly I need mooks since lead villains I mostly got covered.)

But like.

Just...need to survive the work week.

Today I spent $400 on clothes, which was all good clothes but the cost made me die inside a bit.

​Anyway, feeling sick to my stomach for some reason, so...gotta rest.

I've been, frustratingly, busy as of late.

I was on the last week of league/tft quests so needed to grind them, which ate up a lot of time.

I've been busy with work.

I literally had my car turn over sideways due to going into a ditch on Tuesday. (Surprisingly--as far as we can tell--the car is fine; I am fine. I'm not traumatized, but I am just frustrated and confused.)

I've been busy with stuff.

I don't even remember what.

Just.

I've not had free time. I don't even know why. I've had objectively more time but objectively have been getting less done. I did things. I was doing things. I just don't remember what they were. I was really busy.

Now, granted. Life stuff has happened. We're up to knowing the name of four voices that aren't soulbounds like Vee and Ruby. (Morgan, our Aussie; Bella, our southerner; Ashe, our high-pithced 'hiiiiiii' voice; and now, Amanda, our deep 'yo' voice.)

We've been doing at least some work on our novel.

We've done a little bit of work on our castle in minecraft.

We've done stuff, but we've been left quite busy.

This week started promising in terms of health between both showering and brushing teeth and now I've done neither.

I've not streamed this week and between picking up a shift on Sunday and the staff meeting tomorrow, I probably won't, which is frustrating.

So like.

​Just not a great week.

Ideally I'd tell the whole story for this but I gotta rush things on my way to bed.

So I'll just say:

I tossed and turned for three hours trying to get to sleep--until I realized that I forgot to take my estrogen.

And then I conked out half an hour after taking it.

I took my antidepressants, which make me drowsy.
I took my spironolactone, which makes me drowsy.
I took my multivitamins.

I did every trick in the book to sleep.

And tossed and turned for three hours.

Until I remembered I hadn't taken my estrogen.

And once I took the estrogen...BAM.

Instantly I fell asleep.

Apparently my body really insists on me being a girl. xD

But the covid I got certainly made me feel like I was.

Do I have a lot I should be saying on my blog?

Oh certainly!

But genuinely I got hit so bloody hard by covid I just couldn't do anything.

I've still not entirely recovered, so you may or may not see me blogging, but I'm trying to reclaim my life from my sickness and normalize it again.

​Trying.

I'll say quickly; I'm taking a bit of a risk but I've opened up my current story to viewing to those with the link, on a private discord server of friends. I'm hoping it's secure and trustworthy enough that they don't abuse that power (and also hoping that it is indeed read-only for them), but I think it's worth it; sharing it with others is a goal anyway.

I've got caught up with uploading my past streams, but unfortunately, I can't stream more until Friday Night/Saturday Morning at the earliest. (Well technically, I might be able to try tomorrow? Well if I don't do things like what I've done this week and waste hours of time.)

Uh, I guess I got out of placements and into Bronze IV in double-up for tft. (I think I need more hyper-roll games now to make sure placements are finished and I'm in green.)

Anything else?

Well probably but the more we write the later we are to bed.

No gaming, barely finished a workout, no stream stuff, all we really did was upload a single video and do a few notes for our story and its sequel (mostly the sequel honestly, but fleshing out something that easily could be an interquel tbh with all the content there).

So like.

Nothing to say.

Doesn't mean I'm happy we basically did nothing.

We did get our laptop maybe functional again (we need to actually test things out), we got med refills and bought headphones while there, and we got closer to caught up in or vod uploads (two away from caught up I believe).

​And I guess we got a few of the placement games (not all of them I don't think) done in the team mode of teamfight tactics, so that's good I guess. (We want to get to platinum in tft, to get blue in hyper-roll, and to have enough games to be fully placed in double-up.)

But like.

Not really a productive day. I did do a bit of a story note, but no writing, no editing.

Today was largely a wasted day. I don't even remember what we wasted our time on (I think it might've been reading TVTropes?), but we weren't really productive.

We did download the audio for potentially adding alerts to our stream (altho we need to get that whole thing set up and currently don't have it), and we actually did work on the writing of our novel (rather than writing down notes and worldbuilding/character building), but even that was just editing.

We also got our laptop functioning again, which opens us up to potentially doing streams on it. Speaking of streams, we're nearly caught up on our youtube video uploads of them. I believe we're at 80/85? So like--at a couple uploads per day or so and accounting for extra streams, and we should in theory be caught up within a week.

We ended the night by indulging in Civ 3, playing a single turn all the way out.

We had planned to stream, but a few things got in the way. First was not wanting to not be part of the vibes for one particular stream (and even now, we're enjoying the vibes of a different stream that they raided in to). We could have done a stream, but we made the choice that the vibes of that stream were worth more.

After our parents came home at 4, we could've started stream, but right now, we're thinking it's best not to. We have a medication to pick up, and while we go to the pharmacy, we're hoping to pick up a few extras. (Lotions, tea, headphones, maybe a mic?

So like.

We could've done a lot more than we did.

It's not a nothingness day because if someone were to look at what we listed above, they'd say it was great, it was incredible, I did a ton, etc. But it's still disappointing, yaknow? We did basically nothing and wasted a golden opportunity to be productive. Tomorrow will be a short day (due to work on Monday), made shorter by a need to visit the pharmacist to get my medication.

Today was a day we could've done nearly 20 hours' of work, and instead, we did like...two, maybe? About half an hour for the laptop, about half an hour for the audio, about an hour for the novel, and then paltry amounts of time per video. (They take basically no time to put the info in, the rest is the upload/processing which is why we get a rate of like 1 video per 3 hours or so.)

So like--having two hours out of twenty means we were only at 1/10th of the productivity we should've been at.

Disappointing. Not shattering. But still a let-down.

Ah well.

​Is what it is.

We were up to 10:30 am yesterday, it's 7 am today.
We streamed more TFT in spite of not quite feeling it, under the belief we could maybe promote, and then ended up lower than we started.
But honestly, stupid as it sounds, the real tilting thing is the riot games client, after a game of tft finishes. They give an absurdly long wait time on the 'waiting for stats' menu, and if you skip that, you're booted out of the lobby, and if you're too fast to get back in, you're kicked from the party. (A party of one.) Causing delay after delay. (There's also no way to turn off the special executes that can't be skipped which also can delay things further.)

When I have a match end I want to be into the next immediately.

Bug I digress.

Point is, poor time management. We have it. We did a useless stream rather than a productive stream on, say, our novel.

Which has work we still have yet to do on it.

Like, the thing we want to do is quite literally just looking up terms and--*adhd kicked in and now different rant*
...And now instead of having done it, we learned why we didn't because instead of just two names to look up, we have like ten.

And it's now 8 am...

​Bed. Now. If we had thoughts, gone.