Went to bed without blogging yesterday since I didn't blog pre-stream and slept immediately post-stream, and even today am making a nonentry entry.

Still tho.

I've been making progress in things.

I kept up with my weekly games and have even managed to keep working on my story notes. I've gone to like 40 pages and I'm not even remotely close to finished, but a lot of it is actually new material I hadn't covered previously in any prior notes, so brand new notes is actually a really good thing.

Butyeah, gotta go now.

Okay so checking in my notes I've got...hmm, 1/11/2023?...
...I guess that means about 47 days worth of notes to sort through?

Aside from how I am trying to combine three documents' worth of info into one (well, one was already bare-bones having been formed side-by-side with this project, but I suppose the discord notes count as a document), which makes the amount of work I have to do that much higher.

I have ~145 or so pages of pure notes (not counting prototype excerpts) from one place to record, all the discord notes, and then a bunch more (thankfully, much shorter than 145 but still ~40 or so) all to transcribe in the more organized format I am aiming for. It's going to be a royal pain.

But the result will be worth it, if I can pull it off.

I won't let this side-project stop me from writing the story itself, mind you. I still intend to write it while streaming. (I took a week off of streaming in a desperate attempt to get my health back--it didn't work; I've got a sore throat which has persisted throughout the day.) I will stream other things as well--art, minecraft--but I intend to primarily​ stream writing my story.

But in my free time, I feel it's a valid choice to instead of writing the story to work on the notes because of the benefits behind having done so. My notes are a hectic mess as-is. Formatting them to be more organized and collected, with info previously not stated (at least not in that way), allowing me to have the info all available when needed.

It's a lot of work.

But I'm chipping away at it--slowly, gradually.

To be fair, fairly productive day. I didn't do everything I wanted to do--but I'm making large amounts of progress in my record keeping, and it's coming together nicely. I looked at it and was like, "Ohhh...YEAHHHH."

I'm looking at it and it is writing itself.

Now, I realize that writing this info isn't writing the story. I should just be writing the story. But, I want to get things presented the way I want them to be. I want to have my notes not be in discord messages to myself, and available in the notes. I've been slacking on rl stuff that my notes have been getting in the way of me pursuing, because I've been focusing on the notes.

Okay so talking hard right now. Basically, to explain: I have a notes discord where I have notes of all kind to myself. Because some sort of technical glitch kept me from recording things onto my docs directly, I began using the notes for it. And because my doc notes were a mess and the discord notes a mess, everything is a mess.

​And I want to clean them up.

​And this is also important because the discord where I have notes to myself also has other notes, and those notes are getting drowned by the farn notes, and I want to get the focus back on the rl notes rather than the farn notes.

So basically.

I know this won't make much sense to others.

​But basically, I'm working on the farn notes so that I can get my rl notes to be more clear. I've got a long, long ways to go. But if I get it done, it'll make things a lot easier for me.

I guess it starts with writing a blog for the first time in like two weeks.

Remember when my blog was daily?

I sure do!

Multiple entries per day, even!

I should start doing that again.

I need to transfer things to my new purse.
I need to use the new razor I purchased last week.
I need to take a shower and change clothes and, ideally, organize them too.
I need to get a full night's sleep every night.
I need to stick to my workouts.
I need to run.
I need to brush my teeth.
I need to brush my hair.
I need to change clothes daily and shower regularly.
I need to apply the lotions.

I need to continue blogging.

I need to eat through my to-do list.
I need to re-sort my notes I have on my desktop that I got scattered.
I need to send the emails I was intending to.
I need to do a job thing.
I need to sort through my phone.

I need to resume therapy.
​I need to get a new psychiatrist. (Ideally get Autism/ADHD diagnoses for peace of mind, too.)

I need to talk to a doctor about how we probably have POTS, too. (Not to mention, share that info with my family since they probably have it, too.)

I need to just...be better than I am right now.

We have plenty happening.
​January 29th is the anniversary of us being on estrogen, so we've passed the 1-year mark on it.
We've discovered more about our system, which we are planning to make art about to describe. (We're currently up to five discovered facets. Amanda, our deep 'yo' voice; Joy, our all-caps multi-exclamation mark voice of 'HI FREINDS!!!', Ashe our drawn out lowercase broken English voice of 'hiiiiiiii', Morgan our aussie, and Bella our southerner who gives phrases like y'all, ain't, and folks.

​We've continued writing for farn. Mostly note-taking, but a little bit writing, too. A lot of the notes we need to catch up on are farn-related though, but it needs to be done.

I did come up with a quick explanation of my story though:

"A shonen anime in novel form, with high school slice of life and harem-anime elements: the 28-year-old protagonist is isekai'd to a fantasy world as a 16-year-old. She is enlisted into a high school, but it's a school for adventurers. Shenanigans ensue, through the lens of shonen tropes. As action escalates, so do relationships, and via her personality, Vee has a lot of those."

​Is it the best description, probably not. Could I make it shorter, oh definitely. But it's apt. People I describe it to will have little interest in me explaining how it's based on me combining two different ideas that then took on a life of their own. (I think I detailed them in the blog before? How one was "what would it take for someone basically me, to be sent to this world as the one chosen?", combined with the idea of 14-year-old me who made an Adventure Questesque world where I was transported there at that age, grew up to be a great adventurer, mastering elemental magic, archery, swordsmanship, being an inventor of things like guns, and having familiars. Strong, diverse, but not overpowered per se, stronger on paper than in reality, which is what Vee is.)

​So cutting out what they don't need to know, we're left with what they do. It's designed to be something that could become an anime. I view the characters as looking like anime characters. Every scene looks like an anime in my mind. Literally all of them. That's what they look like. While I do see them as looking real, I mostly see them as looking like anime. It's like 80% anime, 20% real--not in style (a style looking like). 80% of the time, 100% anime. 20% of the time, 100% looking real.

So while it's not exclusively an anime--it's mostly an anime. It technically qualifies as an isekai, because Vee is de-aged and given a new body on arrival, even though it is not properly a reincarnation, not truly a summon, is something one of a kind in-universe.

It's a fantasy setting. The protagonist goes to high school, so there's plenty of high school drama going on. There's typical student archetypes in place, an alpha bitch posse, two guys being guys, groups, cliques, etc. But because it's a school for adventurers, they are learning to fight things adventurers fight--by design, amping up in threat level gradually, at least in theory.

There's constant training, there's tournaments, the classes have regular frequent mock battles and spar daily. But they also hang out outside of school with things like sleepovers. Vee, through her personality, interests, and past experiences, bonds with many of the students across classes, who get to show off their personalities and powers gradually. Every character has their moments to shine, but with the focus on Vee, we get a lot of focus on how her eventual lovers fall in love with her.

So that's what the story is, in a nutshell.

It's going to be one of a kind if I can do it--I just have to do it.

Like the long list of things piling up.

We had eight hours of sleep last night, not counting naps.
We've been keeping up on coffee drinking and tea drinking at normal times.
We're pretty sure our hydration levels are normal, and food intake regular, and workouts about normal.

What gives.

Why are we this badly tired?

We're still doing productive stuff, mind you! Today we did a little extra notes writing (nothing new in terms of worldbuilding, but writing down some notes we had kept in our head) and actually did a little bit of the revising we needed to do on the current chapter we're writing (I know the dangers of the eternal edit loop, but this edit is necessary because to tell the narrative we need, we need a specific tone and content within, and while we nailed it in the earlier sections of the chapter, the later seconds drifted away; we found the spot it drifted and are working on fixing it, which will be worth, trust me).

So not a lost day with nothing done at all.

But.

Still.

We're not supposed to be this exhausted all the time.

​What's wrong with us? Is it really the sickness?

We got decent sleep.
We got decent rest.
We took a nap. (More than one in fact.)
We felt less sick than before.
We rested.

And yet we have felt more tired than ever before.

​I don't know why.

​On the bright side, a nearly 7 hour stream of writing for our novel, but like. That didn't cause this tiredness.

Got some pretty good presents. Two rings, new fingerless gloves, a couple bracelets, a new mouse (no more disconnecting mouse in the middle of things!), another USB port expansion for my computer (tho that said, my computer bluescreened three out of five streams last week, so like--something badly broke and idk what to do to fix it), an Uninterruptible Power Supply (that my family will inevitably never set up, but which is an awesome gift if they did), and delicious food.

I managed to do a lot of work on farn, by better defining some of Lilith's aliases and titles. (I'm focusing on her a lot since she's one of the most important of the abundant argon, but technically speaking, the thing I'm doing for her I should be doing for all sixteen of the others who need it done.)

I also scheduled two youtube videos for release.

To-do:
-Need to clip my streams I didn't clip already.
-Need to figure out how to fix my computer bluescreening during streams.

​Anyway, should be wrapping up and heading to bed now.

Didn't do much of anything, but I made progress on a few things.
Watched "It's A Wonderful Life", which was incredible.
Watched Home Alone and Home Alone2, which was hilarious and iconic.
Did some work on farn by trying to find a way to create names from a word (rather than vice-versa), which I might've succeeded at, and am building up a list of Demon titles and aliases they use to avoid giving out their true name.
Didn't get to properly investigate how to fix the computer crash tho, and fell behind on a lot.

Gotta do a lot, in a short amount of time. But, meanwhile, bed; if I want to get a proper shower and a proper night's rest I should've gone to sleep an hour ago. So I'll be cutting corners.

We made small gains in our novel for the demons, and we're feeling extra-sick tonight, so likely the same for stream and for tft.

Buthey, we're still making gains in our novel, and as long as nothing goes wrong, we are going to stream tonight! (I think that marks like five in a week?)

Today we also learned about a new plurality thing applying to us. Apparently we're also a soulbound system? At least from what we can tell. We have people like Vee and Ruby in our head, actively talking and helping us make decisions, with their unique voices and suggestions and feedback.

So like. Stuff happening! Good stuff! But just the start of a journey.

We're also making huge progress on youtube video uploads.
We do need to upload clips to yt shorts, tiktok, and twitter, but beyond that we're doing great. We're almost fully caught up.

I suppose one of the next big steps is sifting through eight years' worth of blog material to tag things properly and put things up on the blog mirror. We have done a good job of copying every entry we make onto the wix mirror site (as a reminder, the weebly blog is the primary blog, the wix blog the mirror, altho if every entry goes up on both then they're basically both the main in a sense, but the weebly one is the original).

Anyway, shorter blog here. Just waiting for my father to finish his nightly eating of oatmeal. (Which, yes, he does eat literally EVERY night. Without fail. He'll say otherwise. He'll claim he only does it on nights he needs it to sleep. Well I've got news for you father, I've been up for every single night the entire week and seen you eat oatmeal every single night the entire week. It ain't something you do just as-needed, it's something you do literally every night without fail.)

Soyeah, Imma about to go live on twitch with more TFT gameplay! With luck we can climb to gold tonight, altho with my luck, not so much. xD
Teamfight Tactics is fun tho.
In the very unlikely chance that you see this blog shortly after I make it, as a reminder, this is my twitch stream:
www.twitch.tv/rbree2
See you there, maybe!

'Cause it's once again 7 am and I don't want to stay up until 8 am again like we did yesterday.

That said, it is once more a nearly identical day. We streamed, but unlike last stream which had frustrations, this one was almost nothing but positive. We managed to end higher than we started by a significant margin, and more than that, the big draw of the night:

We talked to another plural person on twitch! That was literally the thing we set out to do. No, seriously. We tweeted about it, we made a blog about it I think (if not, we meant to but I'm pretty sure we did), and like. The interaction tonight is precisely what we set out to build for interactions, what we set out to make for a community. To be the voice of change that we want to see.

​I realize that every plural person who streams on twitch likely has identical aspirations: they want to do the exact same thing we want to do. To build a safe space to gather the various plural folks across twitch and allow them to network, to chat, to discuss their plurality. Twitch has a lot of plural folk on it, but they're scattered, and can't network very well. They don't know about others, where to find them, etc. They don't have the ability to do what they want to do.

They can't freely talk in most streamers' chat about their plurality, and they need a chat which is relatively slow enough and a streamer open enough to allow it. Which, well, it exists, but in far fewer players than it should. And we want to make it readily available to everyone. To be the area we can gather. To give a voice, a community, to plural folk and to make it so that plurality is easier to talk about more openly on twitch.

Plurality is more open on youtube.
Plurality is more open on social media.
Plurality is more open on tiktok.

So now, it's time for plurality to be more open on twitch, too. Which we need to be the ones to help make happen. It doesn't necessarily need to be our streams, mind you. We'd happily support a different plural streamer if we found them and could be a part of building their community. But we want to make it happen in one way shape or form. It need not be us, but lacking knowledge of anyone else, it may as well be us.

I'd rather have ten different plural folks be trying to build a community assuming nobody else is, rather than zero assuming someone else is. So like. It doesn't matter if others are doing what we are doing, that's explicitly a good thing!!! But if nobody else is doing what we are doing, then we doing it is a vital thing we absolutely must keep at.

​Tonight was a reminder of why we set out to stream with renewed vigor. (That said, we do need to clip our streams to help compile more clips. And we need to upload the clips from a few days ago to twitter and tiktok and yt shorts.) We saw a sneak peak of the success we are aiming for. We saw a sneak peak of us having done exactly what we set out to have done. We saw a sneak peak of the potential of our dream coming true.

We saw how it was possible. We saw how it was viable. We saw how it was doable. We can do it. We can succeed. Tonight was a proof of concept of it having worked. Tonight was evidence that, yes, our dreams and aspirations are not actually long-shots. We can build a community for plural folks on twitch.

We need to do better. We need to live up to the hype. We need to become as good at streaming as those we look up to are. The people whose chats we hang out in, we need to be just as good if not better. Because if we can manage to get in the groove, where we are doing streamer things as good as the streamers we are inspired by...then we can pull it off. It won't be easy. But it WILL be possible.

We just need to keep at it. We have the start we need. Now we just need to finish it.

Speaking of, tho (hate to ruin a perfect end to a blog but this doesn't fit in earlier and I don't want to neglect having said it), we continued the refining of the Abundant Argon today. We're actually within striking distance of having them finished!

We still have work to do on Lucifer, but we have a loose draft of where he fits, and how he became the head of the Abundant Argon.

We have both main characters defined. We have Mastemo defined. We haven't laid it out in our notes but we have Milodee and Trisairo defined.

​We have Bemoheth and Athaneva both more or less defined--they're not the most complex of characters, but they don't particularly need to be, as their impact on farn is more mythological than anything else. In the story, they're mostly footnotes, but obviously over the course of existence they have shaken the world and broken continents (literally, pretty sure Athaneva was involved in the sinking of Seidonia (the farn equivalent of the Atlantean continent).

We managed to define Belreach as well, and his relation with Luden.

Plus, we now know Rothasta.

We've managed to narrow down the demon character taking influences from Gort of Darken + Yuji Itadori/Ryumen Sukuna of Jujutsu Kaisen + Benimaru/Guy Crimson of Slime Time (yes we know it's not called Slime Time, but Slime Time is much shorter to write, you can still figure out the source material and know what we mean by it, so it's good convenient shorthand).
He's either Ebandon, The Commander,
Or Bothai, The False Chosen.

Whichever of Ebandon/Bothai he isn't, we know has a secondary title of "The Knight of Seidonia" (and, yes, was involved in the sinking thereof alongside Athaneva among others).
Currently kinda lean towards the Knight of Seidonia being Ebandon, The Commander, with Bothai, The False Chosen being the redhead taking influence from the above four sources. (Trust me, it'll make sense when you see their combinations. But the basic version is, he was a good person, who was a well-respected hero and smallscale commander, who in his heroics stopped a would-be-disastrous demonic summoning, but in the botched process, took up a quick-link to that demon. He got persecuted for it and hunted down, eventually slain, but not truly killed, resurrected before he had moved on by the demon; they form a link, a contract, he eventually brought that demon into the world, where he served as that demon's begrudged servant, and eventually grew to be his former-master's equal or superior.)

We've managed to narrow down the demon who corrupted the future-demon-commander as being either Belchevore or Belreach.

By my count, that's 12/18 defined, at least unofficially. (Officially, none of them are, because I've not written the full notes.)

Which is better than a couple of days ago when it was quite literally 5/18. (Two main characters + Mastemo + Milodee + Trisairo, and that was it.)

So we need to keep at it, and finish there. We're so close!
We just gotta keep pushing bit by bit until we get there.

It's all coming together.

​We just gotta keep our momentum going.