All Too Human
All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

I hate knowing myself.

6/15/2023

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Surprise surprise!
Announcement didn't happen.
But on the bright side, what has been happening?
Streams!

I just did my 99th.
Now I just need to get the energy into the world to keep going even more. I can't do more than two days per week, and can only do two days per week three weeks per month. But, that comes out to seven streams per month. Exactly the amount needed for affiliate. If by some miracle I get the viewers, then with both the hours and the days, I could actually get affiliate.

It does require getting viewers!

​But I can do it.
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Well, not today either.

6/7/2023

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Remember how I said "I never deliver on my promises"?

Yeah well there's a reason I said that. I tend to know what I'm talking about. Can't write the blog post I wanted today (well, yesterday), so another nothing-day.

Tomorrow, I need to be smart.

I wanna get back into streaming.

I can't stream if I don't nap for long enough for it to be basically sleep. 2-4 hours' worth.

I can't get that much sleep if I don't leave immediately.

I can't leave immediately if I am too tired.

So tomorrow, I need to nap at work during work, then leave for home, and abandon all other things to nap more.

Even that might not be enough.

​But I want to try.
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Well, no really blog today, hopefully stay tuned.

6/6/2023

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I have a cross-blog post I want to coordinate across facebook, linkedin, twitter(condensed), even my webcomics' blogs, basically giving a re-introduction to me.

I knew I likely wouldn't be able to make it today, and alas, is true.

I know I almost never complete the projects I say to stay tuned for, but hey, fingers crossed, I'm riding a high wave, I'm hopeful.

Basically, I wanted to talk about me some more. Who I am, where I can be found, what I'm up to, my hopes, aspirations, etc.

And I want that during pride month, preferably early.

We'll have to see if I pull it off. Couldn't today, but oh well.
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Okay so I did a bit of stuff but got more to do yet.

4/5/2023

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Gotta send an email to my father real quick about some tech stuff.

I've not worked on my story today, but I finally finally finally​ have reintroduced myself to ComicFury! Am slowly dipping my toes back in, cautiously.

Eventually I might disclose my plurality. CF was where I first became aware of me being trans, from them starting threads about it. I'm wondering if they had a plurality breakthrough as well during my absence, but if not...hoo boy would that mean my introduction would be awkward. So I'm being cautious about it.

Butyeah. Gotta keep working on story stuff and rl stuff.

I need to do my full workout tomorrow, maybe nap. If I leave work and get stuck in hard traffic because I left at like 4 pm: so be it. I've got nothing important tomorrow.

I also need to write a (fairly negative) medical review.

Gotta keep moving forward. Slow steps!
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Bed please.

3/9/2023

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Need sleep now.
​Check schedule work tomorrow, need to also do stream stuff tomorrow (and shower), need to also get pay stuff for work done but sleep now. Super tired.
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Yeah I suck at blogging.

3/5/2023

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Went to bed without blogging yesterday since I didn't blog pre-stream and slept immediately post-stream, and even today am making a nonentry entry.

Still tho.

I've been making progress in things.

I kept up with my weekly games and have even managed to keep working on my story notes. I've gone to like 40 pages and I'm not even remotely close to finished, but a lot of it is actually new material I hadn't covered previously in any prior notes, so brand new notes is actually a really good thing.

Butyeah, gotta go now.
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Okay so I kinda suck at blogging.

2/13/2023

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So on Saturday, I had the ambitious hope that the stream I was doing then would finish the project I was on and then I could blog about the result. It's a map of our plurality throughout the ages. (Speaking of which, we found the voice and name of at least one punmaster in our system. Hermione is close to Joy and Ashe, with her puns making them both laugh.)

We, uh...didn't. xD

And yesterday we were just behind on things.

So like.

No blog for two days, sorry.

As-is this blog is late, is already past our bedtime, so...gotta be quick. Just the bare minimum.

​I wanna say better blogs will return, but like, don't make promises you can't keep Bree.
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I want to take back control of my life.

2/8/2023

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I guess it starts with writing a blog for the first time in like two weeks.

Remember when my blog was daily?

I sure do!

Multiple entries per day, even!

I should start doing that again.

I need to transfer things to my new purse.
I need to use the new razor I purchased last week.
I need to take a shower and change clothes and, ideally, organize them too.
I need to get a full night's sleep every night.
I need to stick to my workouts.
I need to run.
I need to brush my teeth.
I need to brush my hair.
I need to change clothes daily and shower regularly.
I need to apply the lotions.

I need to continue blogging.

I need to eat through my to-do list.
I need to re-sort my notes I have on my desktop that I got scattered.
I need to send the emails I was intending to.
I need to do a job thing.
I need to sort through my phone.

I need to resume therapy.
​I need to get a new psychiatrist. (Ideally get Autism/ADHD diagnoses for peace of mind, too.)

I need to talk to a doctor about how we probably have POTS, too. (Not to mention, share that info with my family since they probably have it, too.)

I need to just...be better than I am right now.

We have plenty happening.
​January 29th is the anniversary of us being on estrogen, so we've passed the 1-year mark on it.
We've discovered more about our system, which we are planning to make art about to describe. (We're currently up to five discovered facets. Amanda, our deep 'yo' voice; Joy, our all-caps multi-exclamation mark voice of 'HI FREINDS!!!', Ashe our drawn out lowercase broken English voice of 'hiiiiiiii', Morgan our aussie, and Bella our southerner who gives phrases like y'all, ain't, and folks.

​We've continued writing for farn. Mostly note-taking, but a little bit writing, too. A lot of the notes we need to catch up on are farn-related though, but it needs to be done.

I did come up with a quick explanation of my story though:

"A shonen anime in novel form, with high school slice of life and harem-anime elements: the 28-year-old protagonist is isekai'd to a fantasy world as a 16-year-old. She is enlisted into a high school, but it's a school for adventurers. Shenanigans ensue, through the lens of shonen tropes. As action escalates, so do relationships, and via her personality, Vee has a lot of those."

​Is it the best description, probably not. Could I make it shorter, oh definitely. But it's apt. People I describe it to will have little interest in me explaining how it's based on me combining two different ideas that then took on a life of their own. (I think I detailed them in the blog before? How one was "what would it take for someone basically me, to be sent to this world as the one chosen?", combined with the idea of 14-year-old me who made an Adventure Questesque world where I was transported there at that age, grew up to be a great adventurer, mastering elemental magic, archery, swordsmanship, being an inventor of things like guns, and having familiars. Strong, diverse, but not overpowered per se, stronger on paper than in reality, which is what Vee is.)

​So cutting out what they don't need to know, we're left with what they do. It's designed to be something that could become an anime. I view the characters as looking like anime characters. Every scene looks like an anime in my mind. Literally all of them. That's what they look like. While I do see them as looking real, I mostly see them as looking like anime. It's like 80% anime, 20% real--not in style (a style looking like). 80% of the time, 100% anime. 20% of the time, 100% looking real.

So while it's not exclusively an anime--it's mostly an anime. It technically qualifies as an isekai, because Vee is de-aged and given a new body on arrival, even though it is not properly a reincarnation, not truly a summon, is something one of a kind in-universe.

It's a fantasy setting. The protagonist goes to high school, so there's plenty of high school drama going on. There's typical student archetypes in place, an alpha bitch posse, two guys being guys, groups, cliques, etc. But because it's a school for adventurers, they are learning to fight things adventurers fight--by design, amping up in threat level gradually, at least in theory.

There's constant training, there's tournaments, the classes have regular frequent mock battles and spar daily. But they also hang out outside of school with things like sleepovers. Vee, through her personality, interests, and past experiences, bonds with many of the students across classes, who get to show off their personalities and powers gradually. Every character has their moments to shine, but with the focus on Vee, we get a lot of focus on how her eventual lovers fall in love with her.

So that's what the story is, in a nutshell.

It's going to be one of a kind if I can do it--I just have to do it.

Like the long list of things piling up.
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I know, I know, no blogs.

1/20/2023

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I've been, frustratingly, busy as of late.

I was on the last week of league/tft quests so needed to grind them, which ate up a lot of time.

I've been busy with work.

I literally had my car turn over sideways due to going into a ditch on Tuesday. (Surprisingly--as far as we can tell--the car is fine; I am fine. I'm not traumatized, but I am just frustrated and confused.)

I've been busy with stuff.

I don't even remember what.

Just.

I've not had free time. I don't even know why. I've had objectively more time but objectively have been getting less done. I did things. I was doing things. I just don't remember what they were. I was really busy.

Now, granted. Life stuff has happened. We're up to knowing the name of four voices that aren't soulbounds like Vee and Ruby. (Morgan, our Aussie; Bella, our southerner; Ashe, our high-pithced 'hiiiiiii' voice; and now, Amanda, our deep 'yo' voice.)

We've been doing at least some work on our novel.

We've done a little bit of work on our castle in minecraft.

We've done stuff, but we've been left quite busy.

This week started promising in terms of health between both showering and brushing teeth and now I've done neither.

I've not streamed this week and between picking up a shift on Sunday and the staff meeting tomorrow, I probably won't, which is frustrating.

So like.

​Just not a great week.
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Half an hour late, and counting.

1/3/2023

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I'll say quickly; I'm taking a bit of a risk but I've opened up my current story to viewing to those with the link, on a private discord server of friends. I'm hoping it's secure and trustworthy enough that they don't abuse that power (and also hoping that it is indeed read-only for them), but I think it's worth it; sharing it with others is a goal anyway.

I've got caught up with uploading my past streams, but unfortunately, I can't stream more until Friday Night/Saturday Morning at the earliest. (Well technically, I might be able to try tomorrow? Well if I don't do things like what I've done this week and waste hours of time.)

Uh, I guess I got out of placements and into Bronze IV in double-up for tft. (I think I need more hyper-roll games now to make sure placements are finished and I'm in green.)

Anything else?

Well probably but the more we write the later we are to bed.
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    rBree2

    AKA:
    RangerBree2
    ​rangerbreenew

    Just your average blogger. A transwoman lesbian, with autism, adhd, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, who is plural (a polyfrag median system).

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