Yeah, really don't have all that much to say. I mean...I took a shower this morning. It didn't cover my shower needs as thoroughly as I would prefer, but it did an adequate enough job for the time being. Yesterday night, I did some work on my LinkedIn page, which in spite of only having Publications and Patents left, is still ever stuck at the accursed Expert level.

I literally can't think of anything I could possibly do to improve beyond what I have done already, aside from publishing a book. (I even have a job blog there of sorts!)

Speaking of which: working on that project has gone slowly. Still progressing, and I imagine it will either rapidly take off soon or rapidly diminish. Never quite know with these things. But, all the same: I've run out of things to do on the computer (well, almost) aside from maybe job search stuff, soooooooooooo...gonna do SOMETHING, just a matter of whether it's on the new novel, current novel, or webcomic.

In my defense, my day so far has only been three hours long as of this blog post, but I was planning on taking a shower and ended up not doing that. I honestly don't care about things like my body smelling (it gets hot, I sweat, and also physical activity, so it doesn't matter), but I do need to take showers for the sake of my skin, especially on my scalp, thanks to the accumulation of gunk.

I missed my bedtime mark by an hour, but adjusted the timer to compensate. Turns out once again, my mom woke me up a little earlier than I would have gotten up thanks to her loud voice. I was awake long before I accepted defeat, we're talking minimum of half an hour if not an hour plus, but it didn't amount to much.

Still, three hours. I haven't done much in that time. I was half-expecting I'd spend the time on Red Hood Rider as I did yesterday, in this case because I had no choice (my mom was on the computer), but she got off of the computer right as I was freeing myself up, so I decided to spend my time getting things more or less prepared.

I also have been working a little bit on the new novel, too, which my mom actually asked about. But actually, this might sound surprising especially if you remember my blog talking about how I'm not even sure I want to pursue this, I spent a large portion of my time job searching. We're talking over an hour. Did a lot of it last night, too, even eating my supper three hours late in large part because of it.

I'm not as aggressive as I could be there (see also: not sure I want to pursue this), but I'm definitely doing enough work with enough focus on it that I can definitively say (with annoyance at the implication I would lie or even exaggerate!) I am working on it, I have put real effort into it, and I am still waiting.

...Still need to do that Boeing thing though. Most of the work I've done has been basically because of a need to keep my inbox clear. (Stuff piles up. I should clean it up some time, but for the moment, I am content simply keeping it at the current level of stuff.)

Soyeah. That's what I'm doing.

Since it's 3:30 now, I'm going to stop blogging and start eating. I strongly suspect my issue last week was because I waited 15 minutes longer than normal to eat. It might sound like a ridiculously small difference, but I actually do think the difference contributed. (This is also why I got up at noon.)

...Productivity!

I actually completed the page which I started...geez, how long ago? Well, it's finally done! So, eighteen down, five to go! I really need to get better at dynamic panel layouts (how people do that, I don't know), and for that matter, natural posing (not to mention, drawing my characters at smaller sizes), but oh well. I'll live.

I think I've got a solid enough script to carry me through my bad art skills.
Well, it's not that I'm a bad artist.

It's just that I'm not a drop-dead gorgeous artist. I can add little neat details here and there, but my best work is stealing from others, and I don't mean a little. I mean, blatantly, a lot. I still make progress, but I feel like I should progress artistically on as many fronts as I can.

I don't want to get worse, I don't want to regress, and I also don't want to stagnate artistically-wise. I don't want to be locked in a style nor do I want to wildly flux to the point where I have none. I want there to be a feeling that is me, but have that feeling get better as I go.

Butyeah. Red Hood Rider is finally back on track. Took me a while to get there, but not that I have, I don't see myself stopping any time soon.

Barely remembered to blog.

Okay, so that happens every day, for someone who runs a daily blog I'm surprisingly terrible at remembering I run a daily blog. Not particularly special, but anyway! Not the point that I was going to make.

I was more saying, today's been a little bit busy. As it turns out, same reason as yesterday: mafia stuff. It didn't help that I set a new record: I woke up at 4 PM.
Yes.
Not AM.
That'd be one or two hours before I actually went to bed.

I was asleep at 4 PM. And, in fact, I was fighting my ears, because my mom with her loud voice has NO clue that I can hear her from my room through the walls even if she's in the living room if she's talking. Not yelling. Just talking. Ironically, she's absolutely godawful at conveying her words across rooms. You can be in the living room and her in the hallway, and you can't hear her unless she yells. But while you can't understand her, you'll know she's speaking from literally anywhere in the entire house.

So, she's VERY good at making very audible noise, and very bad at having said noise actually reach the person she intends for it to. The perfect combination of misery for others. I mean, even if she were aware of it (I don't think she is), not her fault; there's not much she can do about it.

But all the same, she does it. And as I was saying: she'd been doing that for who knows how long. Minutes, maybe hours. And it's what woke me up. I would have slept longer if not for that. So, today's probably gonna be a short day. I don't intend to stay up that late, and I literally cannot afford to wake up that late. Probably aiming for a 2 AM bedtime, or thereabouts, and a noon or so wake-time. (I'll set a timer for 9 and a half hours if I actually nail the 2 AM mark.)

The thing is, I've been busy with mafia stuff all day, but while I've been busy with it...I've largely finished for the night. Which means...here at 9:30 PM, I've got lots of time. Yesterday, I had mafia stuff all the way until I went to bed. Now, I...well, don't. So!

Time for some drawing, maybe?

We're about to find out!

So, writing this at work. I've gotta say: while I'm expecting work to be fairly empty (what, with the fair going on and all that, today is going to be a busy day. (Post-word notation: I was wrong. Very, very wrong. Work set an ominous tone for the rest of today.) In approximately the order I need to do them, we've got:
1: Log into Dawn of the Dragons for Saturday. This needs to be done before I miss the day's daily long-in rewards. Normally, I can afford to miss it, but for the Gauntlet event, every day counts. (I won't be able to buy much. Last time, I got the general and 12 troops; this time, if I got 20 total, I'd only be able to buy 2 boosts specific to the event, and no way do I get remotely close to the special troop. So I'm aiming for the general's boost: 15, with ~5+ going to next time since the rewards don't expire.)

2: Bring up (but don't read) the TVTropes page for Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress. I'll read it when I have the time.

3: Lots and lots and LOTS of mafia stuff. I've got half a dozen in pure essentials (that is, absolute obligations) alone, yet alone, things I promised to get done (without a specific timeframe attached), or even all the things I WANT to do. That will eat away...well. Everything.

4: Given the mafia stuff will take me to past midnight (trust me, past experience has taught me THAT much), I likely won't get this far, but I DO need to try and squeeze in Red Hood Rider drawing time, especially since my mom should be coming home today. (Thus, no longer allowing me to have unlimited desktop access: if I forfeit my spot, then I forfeit my ability to use it.)

5: And finally...something happened recently. This one has no set response time, so it doesn't have to be today. I already partially started yesterday with an initial engagement, so there's some time delay in play anyway. But the sooner, the better, overall for this one.

Basically...I was contacted by an old friend of mine. REALLY old friend of mine. I've known them since I was ~15 years old. (So about 8 years, give or take.) That's just about a third of my life: fairly impressive even in real life, but by internet time, 8 years is like 80 years. So to say we go way back is a bit of an understatement. They're the oldest internet friend I didn't lose contact with, and among the oldest internet friends I have at all, coming from way back in my battleon forum days.

Furthermore, our friendship extended beyond there. They're a member of what I call the StoneFang group. If you go by the group at its absolute smallest, StoneFang Four. I disagree with that, and say that it's at least the StoneFang Five. (Hinz, Alix, FF, DD, me. Every member of the group knows what those would stand for.) At its largest, you could say the group was even a StoneFang Seven, depending on who you'd add; there were a few who came and went a bit like superhero teams change over time yet maintain some basic connections.

I don't remember if I've talked about the StoneFang group before on my blog. A quick look suggests no. But the basic version is, about half the group came from the battleon forums and half were off, and we formed a bond outside of the forums which lasted long after most of them had left the forums. Most of us were writers, but not all. This group was basically one of the closest things I had to a family online, prior to me finding ComicFury, because this was circa...when was it, 2008? 2007? Somewhere in that range.

I was not playing mafia back then, or if I was, only sparsely. And I kept contact with them until...probably around 2010, my internet date memory is fairly shaky, but the point is: I knew them for years. We had many discussions together, and I shared more details about myself with them than I ever thought I would with anyone online. (Ironically enough, I've since become so much more open about the details in my life that what they know is probably less than the casual person who knows me, but that's simply a byproduct of me changing over time to not be afraid, and me no longer holding that contact: were they more active in my life, you can BET they'd have known first.)

And one of them contacted me.

Now, this is nothing but a good thing!
It's just that...it's been over three years since we spoke last. Reunions for me are always awkward. ALWAYS. No matter what, I pain over them. Every time, I work it out, I try to talk, I try to figure out what to say, what to do, and it's never as smooth as I like. I panic. I think of everything that can go wrong. The "what if"s hit strong, because this is something that is actually meaningful, it is something that is important, and so, I am always left feeling like a mess, an incompetent shy awkward fool.

That, just off of normal times. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...this time, it's going to be a little bit extra awkward.
We're talking about someone who is one of the oldest friends I've had, contacting me again after a long absence. It'd only be natural we've both changed some since then.

...Except...

...There's been one VERY noticeable change in the last three years.
One event in particular I have in mind.
Oh, you know.

Kind of a big thing.

Namely, what didn't I know about myself three years ago?
And as an extension of the above, what didn't I know about myself for all those years I interacted with them?

...Yeah.

For those of you less familiar with the timeline of my life, I'll stop beating around the bush.

How, exactly, do you tell one of your oldest friends, over the medium of text, "Oh, by the way, I'm a woman now."?

This might seem strange to those who are my current readers, both from ComicFury and the mafia site, since I came out on both with relative ease, right?

Except...it's an entirely different beast altogether.

It wasn't easy coming out on ComicFury, but it wasn't exactly hard, either: they're the ones who helped me discover I was trans in the first place. We had a thread about gender diversity (actually, two!), and I talked about my feelings. One thing led to another. I was recommended to read certain things. I chatted with girls who had already come out as trans in part thanks to that thread. They were there when I was sorting my identity, when I was finding out who I was, and so, it wasn't a huge step to take once I was certain.

The thread was already there. People before me had already come out, and shared their experiences of coming out. To the other girls, I had already accepted myself, so it took only a slight leap of faith to type out one final post where I revealed my full feelings, and that was it. People accepted me instantly.

It was that acceptance, right then and there, along with the continued encouragement of them, that gave me the courage to try on the mafia site. There, I only knew of one other trans person at the time, and only vaguely. I didn't know much. I didn't know how I would be treated. I was afraid. I was scared. But ultimately, a few things factored into my decision:
I knew that if they wrote it off as a joke, it would hurt...but that it wouldn't matter, at least I would have it off my chest.
I knew that if they derided me for it, it would hurt...but that, thanks to the nature of that particular site and my reputation at the time, I would be okay with taking their opinion. I would know the truth, even if they insisted I was a fraud.
I knew that if they shunned me for it, it would hurt...but it being a large community, I would still be able to play games here and there; it's not as if this detail in a non-mafia section of the site would blacklist me from playing mafia.

So overall: I knew the chance of getting hurt was there, but I also knew that it would be okay, I wouldn't lose much. Anything I'd lose would be something that I wouldn't care to lose. I could do without them taking me seriously, I could do without them respecting me, I could do without them accepting me, I could do without them getting close to me, because I'd still be there, and finally be myself.

It ultimately turned out that my fears weren't justified, but that's not the point.
The point is...there's a difference between a forum where there's a ton of people and you can just be someone in the background...

...And a private conversation between you and someone you've previously been ridiculously close to, who might be expecting you to be basically the same person just with a few years of extra experience. And to be fair, I...mostly am! I'm in the same boat as I was back then: no real career, and not yet published, with identical past-times and whatnot.

It's just that the area I am different in is...well, the best answer would be "not a deal at all" because it really shouldn't be, but...that's an individual-perception thing, so the answer to that for some people would be, "a really, REALLY big difference".

It shouldn't be an issue, because if they think me to be as close of a friend as I consider them to be, then it's no big deal; we've been friends and should continue to be friends because it's nothing major.
But while I know this person well, and I think the above is true, I don't know them perfectly, I don't know them as well as I would like, I don't know them as well as I as a close friend honestly should, and even if I had, then the passage of time means that there'd always be the possibility that they've changed enough where I no longer would.

I know! Silly, irrational me. It's an unlikely thing to happen.
But I really don't want to mess things up between us.

This feels like an instance of me having been living my daily life as a girl, and then, getting a call from someone who last met me under my old identity, so for their sake, I pretend to be a guy. I know, I don't live my real-life day-to-day as my true gender, but I've ALWAYS felt my internet life has been my true life, and everyone involved in my internet life has, for over two and a half years, known that I'm a girl, so as far as I'm concerned...I really have been living as one.

And talking to someone who doesn't know has me feeling all sorts of conflicted.

...Okay. So, honestly. That's kind-of a lie. It's a blog. It's today. That's about it. Whether it qualifies as "real" depends on what you've come to expect from this blog. I said from the get-go I could blog about literally anything, but over time, blog readers have begun to see a few emerging categories, some heavily favored at different times, so what they consider a real blog might not qualify for this one.

Basically, my dad left for Oregon, to pick up my mom tomorrow. That means, for anime night tonight, my brother will be coming. This, of course, means limited time online once he steps through the door. It also has a secondary effect: much, much less time to do things today overall, in general, since tomorrow's my first day back at work.

Meaning, no staying up super-late; I have to go to bed at the same time I normally do, after anime that I watch ends. I also have to get up earlier, both to prepare my own breakfast (instead of eating a pre-prepared one my dad has made), and also, get ready for the pool being different from what it was.

On a vaguely-related note: I confirmed that my coffee cup is two cups. At least, I believe so. See, the coffee maker we have (which is a Mr. Coffee) makes it in a pot, which has convenient markings: 2, 3, and 4. Presumably, these markings represent cups. The marking was at 4. I poured myself 3/4ths of the coffee cup (the rest being for creamer), and it went down to around 2.

That's my coffee for tomorrow, if you didn't guess. But anyway, I was hoping to get a lot of work done tonight, but very little of it will get done. Between Red Hood Rider (I need to work on it more!), reading my email (I haven't since I got back!), and mafia stuff, I'm not going to get any of them fully-done.

I'll just have to manage with whatever I can​ do.

So just past midnight, meaning that I missed the chance to place this on Friday as well, but oh well. I've been doing some minor TVTropes browsing, and I was just thinking about things like how first contact policies would be developed.

Mostly, I was thinking about how as far as I'm concerned, there's no real point in waiting for a civilization to get to a certain point in their development. In fact, it would actually be detrimental for that to happen. This screams counterintuitive in the face of all our given science fiction material, but my justifications are rather simple.

First, we develop concepts. "We have this concept, X. It works this way."
Someone else more advance might tell us, "Actually, X works this way." using an entirely different chain of thought, justifying the stance: if we can't understand that much, then clearly, we're idiots, right?

...Except, that's wrong. A better way to think about it would be this. "We have this concept, X, and we've thought of it working this way. You have this idea it works this way instead. But, tying X with Y, maybe they're related?" Basically, maybe this explanation that to them is really complex, can be boiled down into simple terms. Or vice-versa, complex things for us can be understood simply to them.

In short, the cultural exchange of knowledge from different perspectives, from different angles, would actually enhance both, since ignoring one in favor of the other is stupid. Which, brings me to the next part, the second thing: we develop beliefs. "Oh, clearly, they're to primitive to handle this knowledge, they'll just use it to destroy."

Not really, no.
I mean...if the technology is easy to accidentally screw up, then sure. (We're talking like, "nuclear bomb which you can just press a button to activate and instantly blow stuff up" levels of easy-to-accidentally-screw-up.) Some caution would be needed then.

...But if the technology is like that, who's to say we wouldn't be able to idiot-proof it? There's always the chance that by introducing technology meant to be used one way, it'll end up being used in a different way. But how is this an inherently negative thing? Because of some concept of "higher morality"?

Our way wouldn't be their way. But it's pure arrogance to think one way is inferior to another. Our history alone is ripe with examples of this. Basically, the counter-response of, "Yes, you are, it's going to happen", while also holding some level of merit (see also: our history, where rival tribes would destroy themselves by getting exploited), overall, doesn't hold true for me:

It's a risk, yes, but also carries with it a reward. There's always the chance things get worse, there's always the chance that potential for individual growth gets snuffed out by cultural contamination (different technologies being developed), but there's also the VAST potential for things to improve, for ideas that were thought about to be questioned on both sides, for new takes on old things, and that seems like it'd be something worth it.

In short, this would be me throwing out the idea of something like Star Trek's prime directive, and encouraging: interact all they like. Don't influence (you want them to develop independently, not become a carbon copy), but contact can happen at any time.

Really, not much exciting has happened yet today. I mean, I suppose that's a natural consequence of waking up at 2 PM, with it being almost 5 now. I've had three hours of not much, except little things here and there. (Talked a bit about swimming/lifeguard experiences and running, which was nice! I actually felt like a competent teacher, which is always a good feeling, though who knows if what I gave was anything useful.)

If you're curious, that's because I went to bed at 6 AM.
This, because I happened to have discovered a series of games (via the new one, Medieval Shorts) called Medieval Cop. Didn't quite finish them all (I got through Episode 4, Part 1, so I've got E4 P2 and E4 P3 to play at some point, still), but I have to say:

No.
Regrets.

The game has that Ace Attorney vibe to it, in the same manner that Socrates Jones does, with all of what that entails: lots of unique humor, finding clues, cross-examination, and hilarious battles which are one point pokemon and two parts Ace Attorney.

This is a series of games that knows what they are doing, and do it really, really well. Laughing the whole time, and yet, engaged in the interesting plots which drag me in and have me wanting more. It's a series of games that has it all: good mechanics, good humor, interesting interactions, good characters, good plot, just a solid combination of ideas in a thoroughly-enjoyable experience.

And the best part is, a fifth episode is coming out soon. The first episode came out in January of this year. These games, despite having a decent length (admittedly, they are a bit short, but oh well), are being produced at an ungodly fast pace, and yet, the quality hasn't suffered one bit. In fact, each game is arguably better than the last! They all introduce unique things, which have been honed and refined as the games progress, but I'm more referring to the timing and nature of the jokes invoked: instead of getting bland and/or repetitive, they have been getting increasingly interesting and diverse, which is a REAL accomplishment given the characters are also increasingly established, nailed down, and therefore not susceptible to change at the whims of the maker.

CONSISTENTLY giving character interactions that are hilarious, yet totally in-character? That is the mark of a true god-tiered writer.

Game does suffer from typos and grammatical errors here and there, but oh well. Nothing which is too terribly painful.

​Would highly recommend.

Hey, so remember the Dark Ruby sketch that I did?

Yeah, well, both to prove a point and satisfy my own curiosity, I did a follow-through. Observe.

Original sketch:

And now, the new drawing:

So, what I did was take the drawing of Dark Ruby, and from the head (that is, point of highest accuracy), slowly created a trace job of the image, and when I got all the details I could, separated the two images and sloppily threw together this as a result.

Now! I know that trace jobs take less time than the original. To prove the point to its fullest, I probably should have also made an exact duplicate drawing, at least an attempted exact duplicate, but oh well. The point that I was more or less going for, is how familiar and easy it is for me to draw Ruby. I did this without using any reference image for Ruby, aside from Dark Ruby. And yet, just from feel, I've managed to make an image that could very well be in any page of Red Hood Rider.

So basically, what I was going for is that the Dark Ruby drawing you saw might have looked unusual for me, but it's still Ruby, it's just a Ruby that I haven't gotten to draw much. If you compare the two images side-by-side, you can see JUST how much Ruby still is Dark Ruby, and that was what I was going for.

I'd talk more, but I've got a midnight deadline to beat for this blog post.

So today, I did something that I've been meaning to do for ages:

I finally, finally, finally did a concept sketch for Dark Ruby. You know...kinda the whole thing that inspired me to do Red Hood Rider in the first place? Now, mind you. This was a drawing done mostly to test if I was still capable of drawing. So, I wasn't going for absolute technical precision.

Instead, I decided I'd use it to show off one of my two drawing styles. See, these drawing styles are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they're basically mutually inclusive, but I'll always favor one over the other when tackling a particular drawing of mine.

One version is free-form: the lines curve as I need them to. I use multiple strokes to "feel" where I need to go. This approach is largely dynamic, but also incredibly inaccurate with regard to precision. I basically am improvising when using it.

The other version, the one I focused on, is geometric: constructing a base which should, in theory, be solid, to be adjusted in subtle ways as needed. This is the technique most artists tend to use, though it does have the minor downside of frequently being stiff, rigid, and stale.

So! Like most artists, I start with a skeleton, to outline what I want to do. Regardless of free-flow or construction, I do this, though the shape of the skeleton differs between the two. This is a construction-based skeleton:

Now, mind you. When I began this image, I resolved not to use reference images. It would be entirely from my head. I wouldn't look up anatomy, I wouldn't look up drawing tutorials, I wouldn't look up reference images. I would rely purely on my memory of what these things should be, combined with me actually physically making the pose in question.

In this case, inspired by the impaler stance, I held my right hand up to my chest, and with my left hand gripping a ruler (which has the diameter of a thick staff handle, making it a fair approximation for a staff), I tried to post myself in a position where I could feel my hips, feel my knees, and see where my legs were pointing.

You'll see it in the end product, but at some point, the stance shifted from having my weight on my back foot to having it on my front foot. The positioning of the knees and feet didn't change, though this did arguably make more sense than the original.

So! The skeleton's there. Now, for the geometry.

Yes, it is a mess. If I was being precise, if I was really trying to put a ton of effort into making things look better, I would have handled things differently. See, I made the face detailed, and then made the neck detailed, as to allow for some baseline to build the geometry from. This is actually not the norm for geometry, and the results show in the ridiculously small round shoulders. (As a consequence, in the final drawing, there's virtually no shoulders and the upper arms are both slightly too short, though the forearms are both about the right length.)

You can see with these overlapping shapes here that I was bringing some free-form into things. I couldn't quite fix this, but I had figured out by this point that the proportions weren't going to mesh perfectly. Rather, more specifically, the torso compared to the rest of the body: the arms are perfect for the legs, which is a rarity in my drawings, but the botched torso kinda ruins the enthusiasm.

​Ultimately, this led to the finished product:

Here's the final product. I called it a sketch because extensive erasing was involved, but the lack of reference images used makes it close to a doodle. Butyeah, this is more or less Dark Ruby: You can see her black hair, in a ponytail. She has the masquerade ball mask. She's wearing a modified version of my warmup jacket, with red wings instead of a solid red. (The wings could be larger, though.)

Her pinkies are both claws. She's wielding the blood staff. She's wearing black shorts instead of her skirt. But her socks and shoes are exactly the same.

The image is not without its flaws. The neck is too long. There's virtually no shoulders. The torso is completely wrong, and was botched too much to fix. An extension of the botched torso reaches down to the natural consequence: a botched hips, which leads to an awkward joining of the legs, which are now a bit too small and awkwardly joined, not quite having the same level of naturalness they had before.

But while the joined legs-to-hips are bad, thanks to the bad torso, overall, this is a fine rendition of how she's supposed to look as Dark Ruby. She's a bit tall (six and a half heads, about), her hips are too small, her legs are a bit too small, there's the awkward neck and torso, but...

...Given that this is,
-Done in an unusual way for me,
-Done after months of no real art,
-Done fairly quickly (it took me something like 2 hours?),
-And done without ANY help...

...I'd say that, overall, it is a good image.

This is what inspired Red Hood Rider. Her image, here, the one I've wanted to draw for a year and a half, is now, finally, made. I'd have to refine it if I EVER wanted to use it in an actual episode cover, but it's definitely a fine start!