I'm working reasonable hours at work, a schedule that I have adjusted to.
I've been going to bed 1 - 2 hours early every night.
I've been having death-naps every single day this week.
I've been conserving energy, and doing less at work.
I've become more efficient at all the things I'm doing.
I've actually not been taking up too many things. Like, genuinely, the only things I've been doing are work, trip prep, and daily check-ins on discord. That's about it.
I've been meditating more, to try and help reserve and restore my energy in what amounts to micro-naps. (Something I used to be really good at doing, but fell out of the habit of doing in the last few years.)
I've done everything to not strain my brain, and not burn my energy, and everything to stay positive and happy.
And none of it is making a difference. I am still burning out, being exhausted, tired, and just lethargic.
I have noticed, at times, I have had depression this week, albeit not consistent throughout the day.
And like...it's possible I would be sick, but as far as I know I'm not sick???
So like...I'm tired.
My wife is suggesting that maybe just doing daily check-ins is draining energy. But that doesn't make sense to me. I'm actually doing less work for daily check-ins than I was doing before. I know that doing tarot readings can drain energy but those involve tapping into spiritual energies in order to give advice, mine is just words spoken largely from the heart, with like thirty seconds to coalesce. I'm not tapping into anything to make them as far as I know, so like...why would they be draining? They're certainly meant to uplift others and keep them afloat, but I'm not putting energy into manifesting them doing that, as far as I know.
But I dunno.
Regardless, that's why I haven't been blogging this week. I've been exhausted to the point of conking out and legitimately passing out at times. I'm that tired. But, I do want to keep doing my best as I can.
Next week I'll be gone on vacation until December, so don't be alarmed when there's radio silence there; I'll be traveling and unable to write blogs in that timeframe. But, I'll try to get one tomorrow (no guarantee), and Saturday (no guarantee), and Sunday (where I absolutely should).
Anyway, I have nothing but love to give, but this blog isn't a place where I have the energy to tonight give more.
I wish I had words of affirmation to present, but tonight all I can do is give my new normal sign-off.
Do what you can to protect yourself and your loved ones. Stay strong. <3