Work left me with nearly no free time. The little free time I did have, I mostly wasted, mind you. But, I've not touched League or TFT all week, and I'm not doing nearly any of the health tasks I should be.

The good news is, as the month goes on I do less and less work. The first week had the most, the second week the second-most. Last week the least, second-last the second-least. So like. It'll get better. But right now, it's bad. I'll hopefully manage to stabilize soon.

At least the upside is, I've still managed to put in friend time. I've been staying on top of a lot of personal stuff, friend maintenance included. My friend who has been going through A Time recently, has been someone I've deeply appreciated being with every single day. They make me feel happy. I feel incredibly happy when I'm hanging around with them.

This friend is, genuinely, who we suspect brought Talia (our flirtatious facet) forward, where she's instantly become a main fronter for our system. This friend, hanging out with them vibed with us enough that we have awakened things within which have been dormant for years. This friend is someone we really want to keep in our life, because they are worth it. They are someone who we love spending time with. They are someone who just gives us an indescribable joy. So, we will do whatever it takes to keep this friend in our life for as long as they want us to be a part of theirs.

For both my free time and health.

Remember how I said I had so much more free time?

Apparently not on work days.

Work days are having me go to work, come home and then either nap or shower to survive, and then be left with a maximum of three hours of free time before I sleep and start it all again.

Fortunately, this is the only week where I work four days in a row, but...ouch. I didn't realize how draining work was until it hit me in the face today, the contrast between time on days I don't work versus time on days I do.

Remember how I said "I never deliver on my promises"?

Yeah well there's a reason I said that. I tend to know what I'm talking about. Can't write the blog post I wanted today (well, yesterday), so another nothing-day.

Tomorrow, I need to be smart.

I wanna get back into streaming.

I can't stream if I don't nap for long enough for it to be basically sleep. 2-4 hours' worth.

I can't get that much sleep if I don't leave immediately.

I can't leave immediately if I am too tired.

So tomorrow, I need to nap at work during work, then leave for home, and abandon all other things to nap more.

Even that might not be enough.

​But I want to try.

Well here's to hoping, at the very least!
I've been having a lot of wins today.
I got naps in at work.
I brushed my teeth.
I brushed my hair.
I took a shower, shampooing.
I changed my clothes.
I'm on day two of staying up to date on ComicFury.
I got caught up in mafia games.
Over the weekend I got league/tft quests finished.
I've done a little bit of art, too.
And now, I'm blogging, too!

Pretty much the only things I've note done today:
Writing (well I took notes, but better notes or writing, not done),
Work training,
Working out,
Keeping up to date on discord.
Anything else?
Inevitably, I'm forgetting something--I'll remember what I've forgotten only when going to bed likely.

But yeah, all in all: things are going good for me right now.
​It probably says something about me that I'm expecting to hit a hard wall again and crash & burn...again. Again, again.
Things aren't perfect right now but they are going great. "Too great" is the feeling.

I apparently can't accept I deserve to have wins in my life.

Or rather, have been conditioned to accept any time things begin to look up, something will cause me to crash down.

Let's hope I can avert that fate this time.

I've good momentum for keeping control over my life.

​I really don't want to lose it.

Literally, gotta go to work tomorrow.
​But also back to working on things, too.
​Like blogging.

Need sleep now.
​Check schedule work tomorrow, need to also do stream stuff tomorrow (and shower), need to also get pay stuff for work done but sleep now. Super tired.

I guess it starts with writing a blog for the first time in like two weeks.

Remember when my blog was daily?

I sure do!

Multiple entries per day, even!

I should start doing that again.

I need to transfer things to my new purse.
I need to use the new razor I purchased last week.
I need to take a shower and change clothes and, ideally, organize them too.
I need to get a full night's sleep every night.
I need to stick to my workouts.
I need to run.
I need to brush my teeth.
I need to brush my hair.
I need to change clothes daily and shower regularly.
I need to apply the lotions.

I need to continue blogging.

I need to eat through my to-do list.
I need to re-sort my notes I have on my desktop that I got scattered.
I need to send the emails I was intending to.
I need to do a job thing.
I need to sort through my phone.

I need to resume therapy.
​I need to get a new psychiatrist. (Ideally get Autism/ADHD diagnoses for peace of mind, too.)

I need to talk to a doctor about how we probably have POTS, too. (Not to mention, share that info with my family since they probably have it, too.)

I need to just...be better than I am right now.

We have plenty happening.
​January 29th is the anniversary of us being on estrogen, so we've passed the 1-year mark on it.
We've discovered more about our system, which we are planning to make art about to describe. (We're currently up to five discovered facets. Amanda, our deep 'yo' voice; Joy, our all-caps multi-exclamation mark voice of 'HI FREINDS!!!', Ashe our drawn out lowercase broken English voice of 'hiiiiiiii', Morgan our aussie, and Bella our southerner who gives phrases like y'all, ain't, and folks.

​We've continued writing for farn. Mostly note-taking, but a little bit writing, too. A lot of the notes we need to catch up on are farn-related though, but it needs to be done.

I did come up with a quick explanation of my story though:

"A shonen anime in novel form, with high school slice of life and harem-anime elements: the 28-year-old protagonist is isekai'd to a fantasy world as a 16-year-old. She is enlisted into a high school, but it's a school for adventurers. Shenanigans ensue, through the lens of shonen tropes. As action escalates, so do relationships, and via her personality, Vee has a lot of those."

​Is it the best description, probably not. Could I make it shorter, oh definitely. But it's apt. People I describe it to will have little interest in me explaining how it's based on me combining two different ideas that then took on a life of their own. (I think I detailed them in the blog before? How one was "what would it take for someone basically me, to be sent to this world as the one chosen?", combined with the idea of 14-year-old me who made an Adventure Questesque world where I was transported there at that age, grew up to be a great adventurer, mastering elemental magic, archery, swordsmanship, being an inventor of things like guns, and having familiars. Strong, diverse, but not overpowered per se, stronger on paper than in reality, which is what Vee is.)

​So cutting out what they don't need to know, we're left with what they do. It's designed to be something that could become an anime. I view the characters as looking like anime characters. Every scene looks like an anime in my mind. Literally all of them. That's what they look like. While I do see them as looking real, I mostly see them as looking like anime. It's like 80% anime, 20% real--not in style (a style looking like). 80% of the time, 100% anime. 20% of the time, 100% looking real.

So while it's not exclusively an anime--it's mostly an anime. It technically qualifies as an isekai, because Vee is de-aged and given a new body on arrival, even though it is not properly a reincarnation, not truly a summon, is something one of a kind in-universe.

It's a fantasy setting. The protagonist goes to high school, so there's plenty of high school drama going on. There's typical student archetypes in place, an alpha bitch posse, two guys being guys, groups, cliques, etc. But because it's a school for adventurers, they are learning to fight things adventurers fight--by design, amping up in threat level gradually, at least in theory.

There's constant training, there's tournaments, the classes have regular frequent mock battles and spar daily. But they also hang out outside of school with things like sleepovers. Vee, through her personality, interests, and past experiences, bonds with many of the students across classes, who get to show off their personalities and powers gradually. Every character has their moments to shine, but with the focus on Vee, we get a lot of focus on how her eventual lovers fall in love with her.

So that's what the story is, in a nutshell.

It's going to be one of a kind if I can do it--I just have to do it.

Like the long list of things piling up.

I've been, frustratingly, busy as of late.

I was on the last week of league/tft quests so needed to grind them, which ate up a lot of time.

I've been busy with work.

I literally had my car turn over sideways due to going into a ditch on Tuesday. (Surprisingly--as far as we can tell--the car is fine; I am fine. I'm not traumatized, but I am just frustrated and confused.)

I've been busy with stuff.

I don't even remember what.

Just.

I've not had free time. I don't even know why. I've had objectively more time but objectively have been getting less done. I did things. I was doing things. I just don't remember what they were. I was really busy.

Now, granted. Life stuff has happened. We're up to knowing the name of four voices that aren't soulbounds like Vee and Ruby. (Morgan, our Aussie; Bella, our southerner; Ashe, our high-pithced 'hiiiiiii' voice; and now, Amanda, our deep 'yo' voice.)

We've been doing at least some work on our novel.

We've done a little bit of work on our castle in minecraft.

We've done stuff, but we've been left quite busy.

This week started promising in terms of health between both showering and brushing teeth and now I've done neither.

I've not streamed this week and between picking up a shift on Sunday and the staff meeting tomorrow, I probably won't, which is frustrating.

So like.

​Just not a great week.

...Late for bed again.

We celebrated my mom's birthday today, and managed to schedule a few youtube videos, and get some work done.

So like. Good day, but now we're gonna have a bad time tomorrow.

​Especially since there's a deadline thingy due on Monday at 11:30 am and there's nothing I can do about it other than hope and pray, I've done what I can.

Yesterday's lack of blog was due to us being way too tired.

Today, it's due to the day being too short; we had only 8 hours of usable time and we're on hour ten of that. (See also, title of blog.)

But, it was at least somewhat productive. We knocked out some of the basic basics behind farn and spent almost all of it on background information. Basically, we know a lot of what happened.
How Lilith became a demon, the way Milodee became a demon, the way Mastemo became a demon, the way a different demon became a demon, the backstory of Bairn, the importance of Bairn, the basic geology of the land Bairn and Gardoni are in, the fall of three archangels, the fighting of two different pantheons of gods, and a lot of information that is important to the story.

But while I can cut a lot of corners, I still need to give at least some idea of timeline.

My current story is basically an anime (a shonen, mostly) in story form--the thing about anime though is that they usually show maps and in order to have a good map, I need to have mapped out the basic layout of every country referenced. The entire continent the setting takes place on is mentioned, a neighboring continent is mentioned, and most (or even all?) of the demons ascending as well as the majority of gods coming into power, came into power in various parts of "the old world".

But there are also gods prominently in power in the continent in countries other than Gardon and Bairn, and they need when they were established at least loosely done as well.

So like.

I have a lot of work to do, yet.

I got eight hours' worth done today tho, which gets me close to striking distance of done!