Whenever I have free time, I end up wasting it all.

I've played like five games today--and none of them were needed, none of them were productive.

That's not to say I've not done life stuff!

I reorganized my clothes.
I brushed my teeth, and hair, and such.
I downloaded OBS to stream.

Yesterday, I applied for a passport. (Gonna be going to a wedding next year!)

So like. Been doing things.

Just.

I've not been blogging. (I literally am getting hundreds of views here for whatever reason, which is good attention if I were actually doing anything with it. I'm not.)
I've not been sleeping. I wanted to nap both today and yesterday--I didn't.
I didn't stream. I wanted to get sleep, but then ended up not getting the hours I wanted.
I didn't go outside on my days off, as I wanted to. I've been meaning on my days off to go outside, sing, mediate, just spend some time out there.
And I've not done any work on my novel. At all. Whatsoever.

Plus, I'm running out of time to do art, too, to complete before pride month--in all likelihood, I won't.

So just...wasting my life by and large.

I could be worse.

I'm not thriving tho.

Surprise surprise!
Announcement didn't happen.
But on the bright side, what has been happening?
Streams!

I just did my 99th.
Now I just need to get the energy into the world to keep going even more. I can't do more than two days per week, and can only do two days per week three weeks per month. But, that comes out to seven streams per month. Exactly the amount needed for affiliate. If by some miracle I get the viewers, then with both the hours and the days, I could actually get affiliate.

It does require getting viewers!

​But I can do it.

Remember how I said "I never deliver on my promises"?

Yeah well there's a reason I said that. I tend to know what I'm talking about. Can't write the blog post I wanted today (well, yesterday), so another nothing-day.

Tomorrow, I need to be smart.

I wanna get back into streaming.

I can't stream if I don't nap for long enough for it to be basically sleep. 2-4 hours' worth.

I can't get that much sleep if I don't leave immediately.

I can't leave immediately if I am too tired.

So tomorrow, I need to nap at work during work, then leave for home, and abandon all other things to nap more.

Even that might not be enough.

​But I want to try.

I have a cross-blog post I want to coordinate across facebook, linkedin, twitter(condensed), even my webcomics' blogs, basically giving a re-introduction to me.

I knew I likely wouldn't be able to make it today, and alas, is true.

I know I almost never complete the projects I say to stay tuned for, but hey, fingers crossed, I'm riding a high wave, I'm hopeful.

Basically, I wanted to talk about me some more. Who I am, where I can be found, what I'm up to, my hopes, aspirations, etc.

And I want that during pride month, preferably early.

We'll have to see if I pull it off. Couldn't today, but oh well.

Well here's to hoping, at the very least!
I've been having a lot of wins today.
I got naps in at work.
I brushed my teeth.
I brushed my hair.
I took a shower, shampooing.
I changed my clothes.
I'm on day two of staying up to date on ComicFury.
I got caught up in mafia games.
Over the weekend I got league/tft quests finished.
I've done a little bit of art, too.
And now, I'm blogging, too!

Pretty much the only things I've note done today:
Writing (well I took notes, but better notes or writing, not done),
Work training,
Working out,
Keeping up to date on discord.
Anything else?
Inevitably, I'm forgetting something--I'll remember what I've forgotten only when going to bed likely.

But yeah, all in all: things are going good for me right now.
​It probably says something about me that I'm expecting to hit a hard wall again and crash & burn...again. Again, again.
Things aren't perfect right now but they are going great. "Too great" is the feeling.

I apparently can't accept I deserve to have wins in my life.

Or rather, have been conditioned to accept any time things begin to look up, something will cause me to crash down.

Let's hope I can avert that fate this time.

I've good momentum for keeping control over my life.

​I really don't want to lose it.