There's something seriously wrong with him, but honestly, since I had my headphones on for the vast majority of the time, I don't know what it is exactly. It's both physical and mental though in that he needs to be carried, has some sort of bodily fluid issues, the like; he is also in a child-like, kinda vegetative, kinda infant-like, not-very-lucid mental state where he needs to be told things multiple times, and doesn't listen well and doesn't speak well and in general isn't very responsive.

My mom and sister freaked out. And my sister is in the process of texting my brother to spread the word.

So, family drama right now.

I...am honestly a little bit of a heartless monster right now because the only feelings resembling being upset I have, are being upset that I'm not upset. Because honestly I just truly don't care. And I know that's exactly as terrible as it sounds like, but it's the truth.

I mean, I still didn't do much in the way of productivity, but I'm feeling better.

My tiredness levels are at "normal" rather than extreme; I haven't felt feverish and each time I've checked I've verified I'm not; I may or may not have coughed, don't remember, but if so not enough for me to remember; I have no sore throat.

And this has remained true all day.

Admittedly, today's a rest day anyway, so.

We'll have to see.

​Here's to hoping though!

The key word being "trying", since my dad being my dad...

Highlights: last night, I mentioned to my sister that ages ago my dad stopped making toast and/or packing lunches for me; someone (presumably him) did both today.
I put portable thermometer on the list, and got one; this means I may actually be able to take a temperature and catch the fever while I have it. (Though right now, I don't.)

They want to get me a multivitamin, but my dad didn't buy the right kind (I can't take any which isn't the gummy form of a multivitamin), so I don't have those right now but I will soon.

Stuff like that.

Things that can help me, beyond what I'd immediately do for myself. (Because, let's face it. What I am doing for myself clearly isn't working; if it was, then I'd be better.)

​With luck, it'll make a difference.

Consequence of procrastinating on a promise and deciding not to break it (even though nobody would care if I did) over being healthy.

I am an idiot​.

I wake up and just really don't feel like going to work, but force myself to go anyway. Initially I start out feeling fairly bad, but then shortly after, as if my body suddenly wakes up, I hit my stride and feel fine...for a few hours. And then. CRASH. I want to go home, and yet have time left in my shift still.

And when I do get home, I just sorta...collapse.

​I need to get better.

Today, I felt like I was actually recovering! I didn't feel fully recovered, but I felt like I was at least beginning to recover! I wasn't tired, had no fever, no cough, not so much as a sore throat. Everything was fine.

...Until about an hour before tae kwon do.

At which point.
I started coughing.
I suddenly developed a sore throat.
All my energy vanished.
And I began to feel like I was burning up, feverish.

With a vengeance, the sickness was back and plagued me for the rest of the day pretty much.

I'm not getting better.

The most annoying part: every time I think I'm getting better, I get a reminder that no, I'm really not.

The good news is, I don't feel feverish!
The bad news is, I am now coughing and have a sore throat, with the coughing feeling like it's from something in the chest. With luck, that doesn't mean bacterial infection but worst case scenario it might.

Rest, water, and time will tell I guess; given a couple of days, it'll become more clear. If it goes away, not a bacterial infection; if it persists, may need another doctor visit.

I'm going to bed but I need to bloggggggggg.

It was a wasted trip.

I had a fever this morning.
I am sure that unless I am magically on the road to recovery (which I don't feel like I am), I will have a fever later today and tonight.
But at the only time I could visit the doctor.
I didn't have the main symptom I've been suffering from for almost four weeks now.

They took my temperature, and it was normal. They listened to me describe what I've had, and summed it up more or less as, "So, you haven't taken your temperature, and have just felt it?"

It was in that moment I realized they didn't believe me at all. And were only not saying as much because of a sense of professionalism in being obliged to humor me. Because I don't have any other symptoms. I don't cough frequently enough to be considered a cough; I've had a brief sore throat for part of the day, once or twice per week so like about 3-5 times total but it went away in less than a day so I don't have that, either.

And no real diarrhea, beyond what is normal for me anyway. In that sure not everything coming out all the time comes out in neat stools, but that happens to everyone every once and a while and it's not consistent; on average, I simply haven't had diarrhea so no symptom there, either.

And while I've had times where I felt like I couldn't eat more unless I'd place myself at risk of vomiting. I haven't felt like I would vomit, specifically because I've taken steps to avoid feeling that way, so I don't have that symptom. No cough. No sore throat. No diarrhea. No vomiting.

Just the fever, which I have no readings for, and which wasn't there at the actual time of the appointment in spite of just how debilitating it has been when it has shown up. And the exhaustion associated with sapped stamina from sickness.

They took bloodwork, which will take a couple days to get results back from.
They told me it wasn't bacterial, which I already knew.
But since there was no proof of it at the time I went in.
And I could offer them no proof of it.

Even if they didn't say it to my face.
They just didn't believe I had it altogether.

So, wasted trip. In spite of it having been almost four weeks. Advice was just give it more time, that if it's actually real it should clear up on its own.