The good news is, the page will be absolutely amazing to look at when it's released! I'm quite proud of the work I'm doing. It looks good on the laptop, and will look good on the desktop, too. Seriously, this was my early art. The time where I sort-of sucked. And yet, in spite of that, I've turned it into something that I'm not only proud of, but can easily replicate in future pages.

...The bad news is, one, I'm not finished yet (and I need to finish tonight to stay on schedule), and I haven't finished the detail work, yet alone, the second layers and lighting and whatnot.

That's not all I'm dealing with, either. I was going to talk about something else important, but at the moment, it's slipped my mind. It'll return, at which point I'll make another blog entry, but for now, just know that there's more than art on my plate right now, even if I can't remember what that extra is at the moment.

​Sooooooooo, here's to hoping I can be productive today.

Ow, my hand.

See, last night, I finished the lineart. At least, I think I did. There's a lot of intricate details in my art that's easy to miss. There's also many details which should be there but I was at the time lazy and left out, thinking "I'll add it digitally" and I may or may not have gotten all of those.

But, regardless, I moved on to the next stage. I still have one or two shadows to add (I can get away with none, but I really should be adding these), but mostly, I was doing the flats, at least I was trying to do the flats, but the more and more I was working, the more and more my right hand was bothering me...especially around my index and middle fingers. Rather, what felt like the tendons behind them, connecting to them, the bits below the knuckles but above the wrist, on the back of the hand.

At first, I ignored it, powering through the pain. But it kept getting worse and worse, as if my body was telling me, "You need to take a break". I didn't want to, though! I wanted to keep going. But the warning was there, and I figured that it would be okay to stop--that it wouldn't be me making up an excuse. That it wouldn't be me slacking off. Writhing in agony seems like a justifiable enough reason to halt work temporarily, after all.

Still, though...that means in order to get ahead of schedule, I have to finish the flats, and all the extras TONIGHT. When I also have round dancing, among other things. That...is probably not possible. I'll try, I just don't think it's physically possible for me to do that much work in one night, especially if the pain returns.

To stay ON schedule, I need to finish tomorrow. While that's easier, even then, I have my doubts.

So I hate myself for having quit last night, especially since my hand doesn't quite feel healed. Not helping matters is how I broke some skin during Tae Kwon Do on my knuckle. (We were doing some bag punching, and I always do that barehanded, to build strength.) This means there's a source of pain there constantly, which makes it hard to tell what pain is from some sort of strain, and what pain is from that injury. (This is one reason it took me so long to recognize I was hurt last night: at first I brushed it off as my torn skin, until I realized the area of the pain and the type of pain were different.)

If it was all for naught, that effort to rest, all I did was put myself behind schedule.

I'm not quite done with the lineart yet, but I've done a fair amount of the work I needed to. As an extra bonus, on the ComicFury based site which will be the main spot I'm hosting (I plan to have a mirror here, on the mafia site, and also SmackJeeves), I did a lot of work building the extras. There's still lots of stuff which I could do which I haven't--heck, searching "Red Hood Rider" still mostly leads to this blog if it leads to my work at all--but I'm definitely on the right track here.

It's coming.
Really, really soon.

​I swear it is. With this amount of hard work and dedication, I won't let anything stop me.

Seriously.
I've not been slacking off. Honestly, in absolute sincerity mode, I can tell you that. I've been putting real time and effort into it. I have even been putting less time into other activities I love dearly specifically because I know I need to get the art done.

To stay on a weekly schedule, I need to finish by Friday night.
To get ahead of the weekly schedule, I need to finish before Friday night.
And I estimate at this point probably about 4-6 hours of work has gone into the page already.

...I didn't even finish the lineart yet. That many hours, and I'm not done with the lineart. I'm sacrificing the time I'd be spending elsewhere, honestly I am. While I'm logging into ComicFury daily, I'm not reading (at least not consistently) any of the comics from there, even though I dearly love to. Me not reading them is effectively my way of punishing myself for having not already finished.

And on the mafia side of things, I'm logging in daily and doing the bare minimum. I'm not doing anything beyond the absolute necessary in every front. I'll read (maybe even respond) to non-game topics, but for the most part? I haven't been wasting time on there, as I am wont to do. I've wanted to use that time, unproductively as it may be to do so. But I've shown the self-restraint to not do so.

So, dead seriously, I say, I have not been slacking off. No gaming. No reading. Nothing. I haven't been doing job stuff, either. (Even though I really, really need to, what, with my inbox being prone to flooding and all that.) It's not like I've even been distracted by fluff from my comic, superfluous things I want but don't need, either. I've been actually doing the work!

It's just...so time consuming.

You have no clue how much I look forward to me figuring out streamlining methods. (I do have ideas, though!)
Because this is taking forever.

It's good work!
I'm turning pages which weren't so great into pages that are passable. (Admittedly, I wasted two panels on the current page figuring out how to draw a front-profile face and have it actually look feminine, because I wasn't satisfied with the look and thought it looked masculine, so I still botched two panels worth of work, but it was worth it in the long-run for what I now know to aim for. I think I can do it consistently rather than randomly, now!)

It's just...it's not work done overnight.
Trust me, I tried.

And am trying.

It'll be so​ worth it when you finally see it.

...That makes about as much sense in-context.
But basically, we have this toy bird, bought for the cats.
It makes a sound when hit.

That sound is currently stuck on, because of some sort of malfunction. Caused by it getting wet.
It's a really funny thing, honestly. Annoying, but a good story.

Butyeah. I did Tae Kwon Do today.
When I came home, there was no food for me.

This...was problematic.
When I work out, after it, I need a recharge.
So when supper was delayed, my tremors became...very, very, very visible. To the point where my mom chastised me saying that I should really see a doctor about it.

Annoyed, I just told her the truth.
Of course my tremors get worse when that happens.

​I don't have much more to talk about.

I kinda lost the tune, and the timing is ridiculously hard for a tonedeath amateur such as me to get right, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...

There it is. Sort-of kind-of. It's not a very good recording. Sorry. But I did get it done at least!

So it's technically 2 AM on Monday as I begin writing this.
Well, I got...a little bit distracted.

Good distraction, though! For Red Hood Rider, I managed to get a rudimentary character page up and running today, and it's looking fairly decent if I do say so myself. Come see for yourself!
Now, this page won't quite be as informative as the Characters sheet was for The Descended. It also is not going to unload the character's life story upon their first appearance. It stays only slightly ahead of the releases. But I quite like the overall look.

But all the same, I thought it was funny, so I did it.
I wrote a song, which I'd probably call "Hollywood". I might even sing it, once I'm alone in the house (whenever I next get that opportunity), just so you can get a sense of the song's timing.

It's not a song I put much thought into, but in a way, that's kind-of the point, and you'll see why when you read it. Here, take a look.


So you wanna make it big with your idea,
In your naivety you think you need love.
An action film has been your dream you say,
Well let me tell you how to play the game.

Listen to me and listen well,
You need this to survive hell.

Swordfight, gunfight,
Heroic sacrifice,
Actors with big names,
And not much to say,
An object of mystery,
That's what action films need.

Love plot, Money shot,
Don't forget what's been lost.
Big explosions, and slow motion,
Obligatory slow scene,
That's what action films need.

You might think this is some big joke,
But let me tell ya you're starting broke.
If you don't play ball you're bound to fail,
So just roll with it even if it is stale.

Listen to me and listen well,
You need this to survive hell.

Swordfight, gunfight,
Heroic sacrifice,
Actors with big names,
And not much to say,
An object of mystery,
That's what action films need.

Love plot, Money shot,
Don't forget what's been lost.
Big explosions, and slow motion,
Obligatory slow scene,
That's what action films need.

Listen to me and listen well,
You need this to survive hell.
You need money, you need cash,
Lovely nice guys will finish last.

Swordfight, gunfight,
Heroic sacrifice,
Actors with big names,
And not much to say,
An object of mystery,
That's what action films need.

Love plot, Money shot,
Don't forget what's been lost.
Big explosions, and slow motion,
Obligatory slow scene,
That's what action films need.


​...I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight be making some commentary here. Just maybe. It's a distinct possibility.

21 to go. As of yesterday, I did in fact upload my second comic into my buffer, the first actual comic page. Which means that I should be getting back to work soon. Hopefully, anyway. It's nearly 6 PM. I have a lot of things to do today, and this is beside the obvious chance for some sort of family activity. (Read: Chuck.)

I still need to check my emails, something I haven't done for a dangerously-long period of time. Emptying my inbox becomes harder each day, and yet, it is something that I do in fact need to do. Soooooooooooooo...

...Lots to do, not much time, anything really new?

Well, I finished the second page last night, but art for today will be delayed, not only by family night...but pre-family-night, which is the cause for me being on edge today. My mom decided she was going to clean the house today. Part of that process? Without permission, touching--and moving--my stuff. All of it: my laptop, my tablet, my tablet pen, my pencil, my eraser, my ruler, and yes, my drawings.

And moving them to precarious positions, no less.
As far as I can tell: nothing is missing. Also as far as I can tell: nothing is damaged. But this is more than just being my stuff. These are the things I consider sacred in my life, the things that I value over my life, and they were rather callously dealt with.

There was just enough care taken where I can't be royally pissed off (see also, nothing missing/damaged), but given this was done while I was asleep and there was that HUGE risk of something going wrong, I feel I'm well within my rights to be rather angry. If you're an artist like me, you should understand why that's breaking a sacred oath.

My drawings are more than just art to me.
What they represent is something...much, much deeper, more fundamental, more important, than all that. And right now, because of some ridiculous cleanup that she's literally the only one who cares about, that stuff was--and still is--placed in jeopardy.

Need I remind you, I am also autistic, and this certainly doesn't help things. I like to try and be a grown woman when I can be, which involves being calm, being cool, being collected, and seeing things from another perspective. It involves some degree of letting go, and not taking things too personally. It involves "getting over it", so to speak.

But try as I might...that's not who I am, not fully anyway. Red Hood Rider has been my pet project for a year and a half now. I'm literally in the process of releasing it. Ruby's been my dream, and she's finally coming to life. And I feel like a protective, primordial mother who is protecting her young when I defend my work. I see a disruption, and I am quick to protect it. I don't take changes to these situations well, least of all when it comes to others trying to force changes onto me. In other words: it feels like someone has encroached on my territory, and as that animal, as that primal being, my instinct is to lash out and protect my offspring, protect my child, my baby if you will, in the fact that I am vouching for my hard work.

​It's...just not a good situation to be in for someone like me.