Well, I finished the second page last night, but art for today will be delayed, not only by family night...but pre-family-night, which is the cause for me being on edge today. My mom decided she was going to clean the house today. Part of that process? Without permission, touching--and moving--my stuff. All of it: my laptop, my tablet, my tablet pen, my pencil, my eraser, my ruler, and yes, my drawings.
And moving them to precarious positions, no less.
As far as I can tell: nothing is missing. Also as far as I can tell: nothing is damaged. But this is more than just being my stuff. These are the things I consider sacred in my life, the things that I value over my life, and they were rather callously dealt with.
There was just enough care taken where I can't be royally pissed off (see also, nothing missing/damaged), but given this was done while I was asleep and there was that HUGE risk of something going wrong, I feel I'm well within my rights to be rather angry. If you're an artist like me, you should understand why that's breaking a sacred oath.
My drawings are more than just art to me.
What they represent is something...much, much deeper, more fundamental, more important, than all that. And right now, because of some ridiculous cleanup that she's literally the only one who cares about, that stuff was--and still is--placed in jeopardy.
Need I remind you, I am also autistic, and this certainly doesn't help things. I like to try and be a grown woman when I can be, which involves being calm, being cool, being collected, and seeing things from another perspective. It involves some degree of letting go, and not taking things too personally. It involves "getting over it", so to speak.
But try as I might...that's not who I am, not fully anyway. Red Hood Rider has been my pet project for a year and a half now. I'm literally in the process of releasing it. Ruby's been my dream, and she's finally coming to life. And I feel like a protective, primordial mother who is protecting her young when I defend my work. I see a disruption, and I am quick to protect it. I don't take changes to these situations well, least of all when it comes to others trying to force changes onto me. In other words: it feels like someone has encroached on my territory, and as that animal, as that primal being, my instinct is to lash out and protect my offspring, protect my child, my baby if you will, in the fact that I am vouching for my hard work.
It's...just not a good situation to be in for someone like me.
And moving them to precarious positions, no less.
As far as I can tell: nothing is missing. Also as far as I can tell: nothing is damaged. But this is more than just being my stuff. These are the things I consider sacred in my life, the things that I value over my life, and they were rather callously dealt with.
There was just enough care taken where I can't be royally pissed off (see also, nothing missing/damaged), but given this was done while I was asleep and there was that HUGE risk of something going wrong, I feel I'm well within my rights to be rather angry. If you're an artist like me, you should understand why that's breaking a sacred oath.
My drawings are more than just art to me.
What they represent is something...much, much deeper, more fundamental, more important, than all that. And right now, because of some ridiculous cleanup that she's literally the only one who cares about, that stuff was--and still is--placed in jeopardy.
Need I remind you, I am also autistic, and this certainly doesn't help things. I like to try and be a grown woman when I can be, which involves being calm, being cool, being collected, and seeing things from another perspective. It involves some degree of letting go, and not taking things too personally. It involves "getting over it", so to speak.
But try as I might...that's not who I am, not fully anyway. Red Hood Rider has been my pet project for a year and a half now. I'm literally in the process of releasing it. Ruby's been my dream, and she's finally coming to life. And I feel like a protective, primordial mother who is protecting her young when I defend my work. I see a disruption, and I am quick to protect it. I don't take changes to these situations well, least of all when it comes to others trying to force changes onto me. In other words: it feels like someone has encroached on my territory, and as that animal, as that primal being, my instinct is to lash out and protect my offspring, protect my child, my baby if you will, in the fact that I am vouching for my hard work.
It's...just not a good situation to be in for someone like me.
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