Plenty of stuff.

Is it the stuff I should be doing?

Why no, no it's not.

I'm late for something pretty sure that I was meant to have done yesterday.

But is it stuff that I want done?

Why yes, yes it is.

I am continuing to progress a League of Legends quest that is a grind. Summoners Rift games, 5 for part 1/3 and 10 for part 2/3 and who knows what for 3/3 because I'm still on 2/3.

I am working on the weekly TFT quests while also attempting to climb. (Nowhere to go but up given I'm Gold IV right now.)

I got the Stardew Valley bug, installing my first mod, then installing a few I believe are "harmless if they break". All professions, all weapon enchants, a few for hay, and then coconut trees planting/tapping. (Still want a mod for allowing hoppers to deposit into silos directly.)

And played a lot of Stardew Valley, managing to progress in my very gradual restructuring of my farm.


But the real achievement: streaming, and progressing Final Fantasy VII after months of absence!

Here's to hoping I can keep up the grind.

I made progress planning.

I did very little.

I technically did do quite a bit--I played a bunch of League, to progress a 2-week quest.

I did 1 game to activate it, 5 games to get the 1/3, and so far have done 2/10 for the 2/3.

But, burned out and tired, that's all I have in me tonight.

I wanted to do more, but like.

​I'm so tired.

Well, not as productive as I'd prefer, but I actually (mostly) figured out how to get Stardew Valley mods installed (I got the one I wanted, all professions, modified to not have guaranteed-fish from crab pots, but that was it) and caught the final legendary fish (Legend, natch) and have gotten Master Angler down to a small handful of fish left to catch. It's almost there.

​So, I might be getting that achievement, soon! (Well, assuming the mod was set up correctly as to not make the achievements not register, at least.)

I am hardstuck Gold IV.

I wasn't gold IV.

I was Gold III.

But in my last 40 games I can count the wins on a single hand.

I know how to play!
All the things that I do should work, and fairly easily! I'm not picking wacky hard-to-execute, difficult-to-force comps.

Everything I'm running should have an ease of execution which makes it good.

Except I've had luck so bad it's been in the negative. Literal negative luck. Whenever I do something, I know it will always be the worst. On a winstreak? I know my next match will be against the other winstreaker whose comp is just strong enough to mine. Hit my comp's power spike while on a losing streak? Face the winstreaker.

The worst possible things aren't possible to happen. They're guaranteed to happen.

Not getting a carry champion to 2*? Always happens.
Not getting the carry champion's items? Always happens.
Heck, I've had carry champions who had both, not function as they should.

When a Lee Sin kicks a unit into an empty corner hitting nobody instead of kicking a unit into the enemy team, you know what that means? It's my Lee Sin.

When a Lee Sin actually kicks a unit into the enemy team, you know what that means? It's the enemy team's Lee Sin wrecking my comp.

And apply that to every champion.

With literally identical comps down to synergy and items, the enemy team running my comp has the AI act in the way it should and destroy me, but with my comp positioned literally identical with literally the same items and synergies and champions and even hexcores? Suddenly, my AI acts in the least optimal way.

I realize I'm not a Challenger level TFT player.

But I AM a consistently Platinum-level player.

...When there isn't the universe hating me with luck that's so incredibly bad it just...defies belief.

Okay so I didn't nap and last night the heat made me miserable enough that I didn't sleep well.

Butstill, the tiredness I'm dealing with is super-annoying.

It's literally not even 1 am and yet I feel like it's like 3-4 am.

I'm arguably going to bed too soon (I am aiming for consistently 6-7 hours of sleep, this will be the upper end there), but I need it now.

I have a theory that it's not just a shift in my time waking up, that it's largely due to the heat.

But, well...not much I can do there.

​All I can really do is survive.

Well, to explain: I actually had work today. Instantly, that means that the day is automatically more productive from an adulting perspective than a normal Saturday is (since those are normally my day off).

So, that being there is something that I spent productive time on.

​Of course, subjectively, not productive since it's not furthering any of my goals aside from "continued employment" (which, to be fair, is a good goal to have, it's just not really a goal as I think of goals being).

I had a streamer who normally doesn't stream today but who I try to catch every stream of, streaming today which ate up 80% of the day. This is not really productive, but since I watch them every Tuesday Thursday Friday and Sunday, catching (most of) their stream and doing what I normally do there, was worth it overall.

That streamer played Stardew Valley and it was mentioned about "have you 100%ed it yet", and I haven't, but I know the two things I need to do: fishing and mining. (Mostly, monster-slaying.)

I'm still working on Stardew Valley farm stuff. I want to reorganize my things so that every single item I'm stacking multiple of has their own chest (maybe multiple) in a logical location, and that things I'm not stacking but are related, are grouped as well. I also want more farm animals, to max out my barns.

Beyond that, I want to optimize the beach farm, to make it be as space-efficient as possible, matching the efficiency of the greenhouse.

But mostly?

Mostly, I've done everything I want to. Wife and kid maintenance needs to be done daily, but I've completed basically everything else, and achieved everything I set out to do, pretty much. (I might have a golden walnut or two not found, but I'll check that next time I do a save file check.)

So I figured, "yaknow what, why don't we start progressing the two things I haven't?", so...I did exactly that! I caught 2/5 of the base legendary fish. In one day.

It's not complete, obv, but it's progress at least!

So, like.

Productivity-wise, not much done, but it wasn't nothing!

Today was also the 1-year anniversary of my having come out as a girl in real life to my family.

It had some fanfare to the occasion, but was mostly, not noteworthy. That's kinda disappointing, I admit. It was something that to me, is a very big deal, but like...there's no festivities to it.

I was trying to celebrate it with an art piece, but...

...This was meant to be just the background.

It was meant to have a complete drawing of me in it, with text having my name in it, too.

I started at the beginning of the month.

I barely got this much done.

So like.

I didn't get the fanfare done myself, so the lack of fanfare is mostly my own fault.

Ah well, it is what it is.

It's a huge event to me, but there's more to celebrate than just today, there will be future celebrations as long as I live.

I was gift-wrapped an entire day to do as I please, pretty much.

How did I spend it?

...Playing TFTilt and ending up a full rank lower than I was when I began.

​And this is why I am wasting my life.

I don't know why but my solution:

​Rest.

To do one thing I have to give up on doing another.

But like.

I still have a ton that I want/need to get done.

Just simple daily tasks and maintenance are things that I am somewhat struggling to keep up with--and at least a part of me is about to have an overwhelming desire to take on even more.

Plus, one task technically doubles up, as of recently.

​There's a bunch to do and so little time for it all.

God there's so much I need to do and so little time for it all.

I have to give up on things to do other things but there's nothing I want to give up on...