All Too Human
All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

Productive work day!

7/31/2016

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...By which, I mean, story-wise. The first wasn't so much a story, as a weapon idea. At work, we've got these yellow kickboards. They've got gaps near the top on each side, and two gaps on the bottom for each side. The result? Swimmers can grab high with a convenient grip, or grab low with a convenient grip, in contrast to a normal kickboard which has...neither. (Some also swear they sink easier thanks to the gaps, which they like. I've seen others test it and say there really isn't any noticeable difference between the yellow, the blue, and the red kickboards.)

But what I noticed is, thanks to the vertical top grip and horizontal back grip when combined with its parabolic shape (that is the best word, right? It looks like an upside-down U to me), if grabbing one from the front and another in the back, you've got a pretty neat futuristic gun,

I figured that much out ages ago. What I did today was expand it to have four modes:
*Snipe Mode: Pretty self-explanatory. Holding it at shoulder-height (approximately), and you have a weapon that will create a zoomable scope. It shoots a single shot, which is super-concentrated/condensed into a high-power, high-velocity energy blast, which travels a long distance to impact a target. (And may continue to go through the target even after penetration.)

*Shot Mode: Holding the gun at hip level, this mode will fire many of the same type of shot as Snipe Mode does, just much, much weaker, and also less capable of traveling distance (still able to go far, but not SUPER far). These many shots, in rapid succession, are still fairly powerful, able to make this weapon spray-n-pray. Or in short? A machine gun.

*Burst Mode: The gun slowly charges up, and then launches a super-strong continuous blast for a couple of seconds which travels a reasonable distance and which utterly destroys everything in its path. This is basically the weapon's version of an RPG: slow to load, but delivering destructive power with no equal. As an added bonus, it's got the aesthetic and control of a continuous-laser-gun. It therefore holds the highest power, but is of course by far the slowest weapon.

*Blast Mode: The gun is turned sideways, with the appropriate grip change. It now shoots a strong burst that gradually spreads out, weakening. In other words? Shotgun. It has the same strengths: it's the mode with the best crowd control, and which--at point blank--deals the, pound for pound, most damage (even more than Burst Mode, which like an RPG is dangerous at such close range), but which is ineffective at mid-to-long distances.

That's as much as I got there, with a futuristic weapon, but I did make another, good and proper, actual story which happens to go the OTHER way: Past!

It would be some time in Japanese history. Lateish into the days of samurai, but not at the absolute end. I'm not sure exactly when, to be honest, I'd have it, it'd just be somewhere vaguely around that time period. The series would basically be somewhere between Samurai Champloo and Ruroni Kenshin, albeit taking itself a little more seriously than both did. (Slightly. Nothing too grimdark. Just...a little less ridiculousness.)

So! Lots of fighting involved. Something that the story would feature is that many of the best combatants in the world--not all of them, just most of the best ones, i.e., the people most likely to be encountered as friend or foe--have access to Ki.

...Now, when I say Ki. I don't mean DragonBall Z, Bleach, YuYuHakusho, Street Fighter, etc. uses of Ki/Chi/Xi/Chakra/Rei/whatever their preferred term is. Okay, for about half of those stories, maybe early levels of it. You know, physical combat with basic augmentation, that level. Not KaMeHaMeHadoken, destroy-a-city level.

I said Samurai Champloo for good reason. In that series, there was one episode which explicitly used it, but there were other characters who were implied to be able to use it, especially near the end. (Among the list, the female warrior and the warrior of the last few episodes, to keep the descriptions spoiler-free.)

It's at that level. Maybe a little bit more than that, like early Ruroni Kenshin levels: even early in the series, there were some supernatural stuff involving that sort of thing, from paralysis to the fighting style of Aoshi. But, preferably, not late-levels of Ruroni Kenshin. (I mean...if you read the manga--or even the anime by the end of its original run, even by then it was slowly creeping up--you'd know that the techniques slowly became less and less based in reality, even using Ki as an explanation for it. I ignored plausibility for the sake of enjoyment, butstill.)

Anyway! So, Ki is a part of the setting. It's mainly used in five ways:
-Attack Ki is obvious enough. It is used in a few ways. Increase in speed. Increase in the cutting power of an object, most commonly, a sword. (Again, think Samurai Champloo: cutting through rocks, cutting water, that sort of thing.) Make it so that attacks which should have missed end up hitting and dealing damage. (The one explicit use of it in Samurai Champloo.)

-Defense Ki is used to increase the durability of something, and also to deflect, as protection, as armor. This is mostly used directly on the body (think Kempachi tanking a blow in Bleach, among other examples), but can also be used on, say, the hands, to block, to deflect, for martial art combat in general. There is some overlap with Attack Ki, of course. (Attack Ki can increase the power behind an open-hand jab to penetrate, Defense Ki can enhance a punch to knock someone out, to use a common contrast.) But it's also mostly self-explanatory.

-Perception Ki is basically sensing the movements (and instinctively, aspects of them to more trained users, up to and including perfectly able to predict their fighting style) of their opponent. Its most fundamental form, which most combatants instinctively tap into, is sizing an opponent up: "that guy's strong", "that guy's weak". This is not at all too uncommon an ability in any shonen or seinen that involves fighting (heck, basically anything with fighting at all, really), so it's also pretty much something I don't need to explain that well.

-Masking Ki is the inverse of Perception Ki: it is the innate ability to mask aspects of yourself. This is a much, much harder skill to master. It covers everything: masking killing intent, masking emotions, masking movement, masking what you're thinking, masking what you're going to do, it's basically the innate ability to hide your intention.

It is arguably the most valuable of all forms of Ki. (With Perception/sensing as a secondary.) If your opponent doesn't know how, when, or even if you're going to strike, you're a much larger threat. It's a useful talent for those who want to avoid something, too, and pretend to be something else.

Think akin to goofy-Kenshin versus serious-Kenshin: someone who knows him from before would know better, and those with enough perception can pick up on it, but to the average person, they see the incompetent-goofy-Kenshin and think he's a failure of a swordsman. This, because Kenshin intentionally masks his true skills; he doesn't want to fight, so he'll only give glimpses of his strength at the appropriate moments.

It's also akin to hiding power levels in DBZ, in that the person can be fighting, and holding back their full strength. Perceptive combatants can tell when someone's holding back, and maybe even by how much. But if a person is really skilled at masking ki, then they can have held-back strength within held-back strength within held-back strength, giving any level of combat-prowess they wish to appear.

-Trick-Ki is basically parlor tricks: basic illusions like after-images, temporary paralysis, hypnotizing a target temporarily, things like that. These are things that a strong-willed Ki user can easily break, for the most part. All the same, they make up the majority of Ki users, and even combatants, because even an experienced fighter can be caught off-guard by them.

Even if the experienced fighter is expecting them, they may not be able to break the technique. Fundamental to Trick-Ki is that, regardless of what it is, in order to defeat it, first you must know how to defeat it. And defeating it is not always easy. And some Trick-Kis cannot be broken even by the best. Said unbreakable Trick-Kis are usually simple tricks, like the aforementioned after-image. In cases like this, the only way to overcome the technique is by compensating and fighting around the limitation.

To put it in other words, tricks that directly affect a person's combat ability are not too hard to overcome, especially when understanding what the technique is. However, tricks that are more indirect, simple misdirections for instance, are harder to do anything about other than work around the restriction, a skill any good fighter--especially those with high Perception Ki--would have anyway.

SO!

Now that we've established what the Kis used are, let's describe the protagonist I made. In this case, he's a right-handed swordsman...yet he carries his sheath on his right side. When he pulls out his sword, he uses it exclusively in his right hand.

Uniquely to him, when he cuts someone with his sword, they don't die. Nobody who faces him knows why. They just know that, if he cuts them, they'll pass out, basically unharmed. There may be some blood spilt, but only superficially so, not even bad enough to get infected (especially not if treated).

​When he starts to fight seriously, he will use his sheath in his right hand, using a reverse grip. (You know, this thing? Yeah, that.) Think...well, if his sword was sheathed, and he had his right arm extended outward holding the sheathe, the stance which would happen from grabbing the sword with his left and unsheathing it. You see this all the time. Like this. I could use any dozens or hundreds of images to convey the idea. He holds his sheath, and he holds his sword, and from there, he begins to fight even harder.

This combat style is very defensive: the sheath never takes damage. He never leaves an opening. His sword is strong enough to protect him from any blow, and his sheath can act much, much faster as a secondary defense if his sword isn't fast enough on its own.

Against lesser opponents for which just his sword isn't enough to knock them out, they never even know when they were struck. But they know that, somehow, when he fights with his sheath, he seems to always win. This is because he has a trick unique to him.

Most people who'd fight with a sword and a sheath in tandem would use the attack ki on the sword, and the defense ki on the sheath.

He does it the other way around, so his sword becomes blunt: it's unable unable to cut deep, because he's specifically using his ki to keep it from cutting deep, protecting others instead of himself. His sheath is his real weapon, which is why his sword is so defensive against more skilled opponents.

And when he does use the sheath, it's fast. Very, very fast. His ki enhances its speed, and power, and basically makes it deliver a strike that gives a strong concussive force. Most, when facing him, never see it coming, because he is an absolute master at masking ki. He doesn't hide he's a fighter, but he still hides his talent layer under layer, choosing what to show to an opponent.

His strike is basically near-instantaneous. He needs this combination of speed and masking, because the technique has an inherent weakness: his attack vectors are incredibly limited. He can, of course, switch to a normal grip, but he loses his speed advantage in doing so. It's still fast, but it's not so-fast-you-never-know-you-were-hit fast.

People know him as 'The Whirlwind', though, because of what he's most famous for. He reserves showing it only to the strongest of the strong, but he has the capability to combine his katana with its sheath: the top of his sheath is notably larger than the rest, and that's because it is specially designed to latch onto the pommel of his sword, creating a staff.

This staff is versatile: he can use it as a spear, for reach, or more accurately, a halberd, thanks to its cutting power and ability to push without piercing. When combining his attack and defense ki into the same object at the same time (this is normally impossible, but he channels one ki into one hand, and another ki into the other hand, and because the staff is one half blade and one half sheath, it works, with them merging together), he suddenly has the speed and strength to take down any opponent he comes across.

Not exactly, but basically. In short, he's an elite warrior, with a ki style that is able to deliver a near-perfect defense, while allowing him to attack with high speed and power from almost anywhere when he's fighting at full strength. He also hides that might, and fights only at the level he needs, maybe not even that level (he will let himself lose intentionally if he doesn't really want to fight), but I haven't worked out his backstory.

Namely, what I need to do to stop him from being too much of a Kenshin clone.

All the same, I love the idea, and think it would be interesting to write about.

...And with that said...I've got work to do. Lots of it.
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I know, past midnight.

7/30/2016

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Sorry. Since my parents are gone, my brother came over for anime night. We watched two episodes of that one show which deals with Torches (forget the show name at the moment), and then moved on to watching six episodes of Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress.

Was good.
Very good.

​That's about it, got work tomorrow, so...sleep soonish.
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Always a good thing!

7/29/2016

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Getting complimented, that is. In this case, I've received compliment after compliment for my writing recently. Including one comment that really, really, REALLY left an impact on me:

Someone who was doing the complimenting, for a living, does writing. They write for their business. I don't exactly know the details of how that works. But when saying I write well, they also said that if they expanded their business, they'd be interested in hiring me.

...Let that sink in for a second.

I'm not sure if it does or not. But basically. Think about an industry you've always dreamed about being in. It's been your dream for over half of your life. Someone, in that industry, says the above to you. Even if they can never follow through on it, bluntly...there's no greater compliment which can be given.

I mean, "Your writing's good, if you put it into a book, I'd buy it", that's a good compliment. A close second, I'd say. I've gotten those, too. And I appreciate them. But...the difference between "I'd buy it", and "I'd hire you", is that the former is someone supporting you from the outside.

The latter is someone, already inside the industry, who says they want to support you. In other words, it's the difference between, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, a random stranger saying, "You're good", and, oh, let's say Stephen King saying "You're good". The former is valuable. The latter is something which, to a writer, cannot be topped.

I mean, I did have to tell them that, yeah, I don't have any professional experience, and wouldn't know what I was doing. But it would be a dream come true, and a person acknowledging, recognizing, that I can do it, who is actually part of the industry? That's the greatest possible compliment.

​So, feeling good.
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Ah, the memories...

7/29/2016

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Today, for the first time in years, I thought about an old superhero idea of mine. I'm not sure if he had a name at the time, but I'm positive that if he did, it was 'Conduit'. I enjoyed creating battles for him for a solid year or two, but eventually, he suffered from protagonist syndrome.

By which, I mean...at the start, he had a power so weak that he by all rights should be a sidekick. He fought creatively, on his own, but gathered up some nakama because he knew he was gonna lose a lot of fights, so would need friends to help him.

See, his power started off simple enough. He could, through the power of his hands, take the electrical charge from one object he was touching, and transfer it through to whatever his other hand was touching. Basically, a very limited way of creating a lightning bolt of weak power.

Various points forced him to experiment. For instance, by touching himself, and his opponent, he could basically force a draw: knock himself out (because he's not immune to his own power), but take his opponent down with him. He learned eventually that he could channel energy through objects, so if, for instance, he was touching the ground and a wall, he could channel the energy from the ground through the wall, and through the wall, it could shock anyone touching the wall.

It was still a very limited power, though, until he figured out that he didn't actually need to directly touch his intended target: the thing about energy is that it's fairly good at traveling, especially over a short distance, so he could touch something for an energy source, and then shoot out over a short distance a lightning bolt: still not a strong power, but a much more versatile one.

There were two starts to his transition from average fighter into literal god, though.
The first was applying the principle above, in reverse: he doesn't, strictly speaking, need to be touching something to draw energy from it. That's just what comes easiest. So, instead, he can, say, draw energy from the air around him, and from that, discharge it.

Strong.

...The second realization was that he could store energy: rather than drawing it in from one hand to immediately release it from the other, and rather than an immediate equivalent exchange, he could turn himself into a battery, removing his limitation of having his surroundings dictate his battle power.

Suddenly, very strong.
It got worse though. Because somewhere along the line, he gained the ability to tap into dark energy, and also gained a limited ability to transfer matter to energy and vice-versa. Between these two, he became basically a god, since that allowed him to do almost anything. His mastery of the skills were limited, so it's not like he was able to, say, create a human being from scratch, or raise the dead. But something like regenerate an arm? Easy.

He even helped develop technology to tap into these forces, effectively giving the world unlimited energy and allowing for a world of superheroes to suddenly become a world of superheroes in a sci-fi setting, essentially, effectively meaning that he helped pioneer the future of humanity.

...So it was around that point, I got a little bored with the character. He lasted a bit longer, when he decided to immigrate to a new planet in which his power was mitigated, but even there, he grew strong enough that at that point, I kinda stopped thinking about him.

Until today, where I remembered some of these details.

​I don't know why so many of my stories end with the main character becoming gods. Just a habit, I suppose.
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Yeah, can't keep the theme up.

7/28/2016

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Well, I could, in fact I think I planned to, but whatever idea I had for that was lost, so dropping it. Anyway, today has been exhaustion day. Also maybe depression day, because I started writing three songs. I only finished one, currently untitled, but the main problem I have with what I wrote is that--while I love lyrics--when I try actually saying them, they come across as robotic.

Now, if this were speaking them, that wouldn't be too unusual. I'm not a singer. But I mean in my internal voice, they are feeling flat and robotic. For some songs, that works. But for this song, a song which is meant to be passionate and an outcry of emotions...not so much.

Here, see the lyrics for yourself and figure out if you can understand.


She struggles day to day,
She can't help how she was made.
She battles hard for her rights,
Being human is a fight.

Are you part of the problem?
Because that is quite dumb.
All she wants is to be loved,
So isn't that good enough?

She struggles day to day,
No matter what it's her fate.
So will you stand by her side,
Or will you go run and hide?

Can't she have a little fun?
Happiness can she have some?
All she wants is to be loved,
So isn't that good enough?


She walks
Like a woman
Talks
Like a woman
Looks
Like a woman
So could
She be a woman?

She says,
Look at me
Meant,
"Look at me"
So why
Won't you see?
'Cause I
Am sick of bigotry.


This is real like it or not,
Compassion can't be forgot.
Will you lose her forever?
How long until you learn?

She could end up slipping through,
With nothing you can do.
Lose her or keep her around,
This is a choice to you how?

This is real like it or not,
Her struggle's worth being fought.
Right before you it is her,
Don't choose that bridge to burn.

She is something not to lose
How's this not clear for you?
Lose her or keep her around,
Cast the dice and change right now.


She walks
Like a woman
Talks
Like a woman
Looks
Like a woman
So could
She be a woman?

She says,
Look at me
Meant,
"Look at me"
So why
Won't you see?
'Cause I
Am sick of bigotry.


Maybe,
I have no place
Maybe,
It's your choice to make

But I
Stand by what I say,
And I
Am done today.


She walks

Like a woman
Talks
Like a woman
Looks
Like a woman
So could
She be a woman?

She says,
Look at me
Meant,
"Look at me"
So why
Won't you see?
'Cause I
Am sick of bigotry.


...See what I mean?
(And, yes. The subject should be obvious enough.)

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Wednesday!

7/27/2016

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So I had a doctor appointment today. That meant fasting, while I got blood drawn. It was alright, and after that, we went to the mall. I decided to try out Chipotle. It felt like a Mexican version of Subway, to be honest. The food was good, of course, but I did encounter one small problem:

...I love Mexican food. I really, really do.

...My body hates it with a passion. Especially my stomach.

Now, thankfully, we're not talking vomiting. But we're talking, "Ooooohhhh, I'm gonna be siiiiiiiick..." feelings, so I couldn't finish my meal. Got pretty close though, which is good, since it was a combined breakfast and lunch. Just prior to this, my mom tried to get me shopping for new clothes, but I wasn't interested. Shopping for clothes, even gender-neutral ones, is incredibly disheartening for me. It's just a reminder of what I'm not.

So in a way, I've got a silent vow, of not wanting new clothes until they can be what I want to wear. If they happen to be gender-neutral clothing, fine, but I want the option of wearing it as a choice, rather than it being the only thing I can wear without dysphoria.

I feel like this post was gonna be longer, but I lost track of the extras. I guess it may have to do with poor inventory taking. On the way home, I tried to take mental inventory of what I was going to do and say. This is a bit harder than it sounds, since I not only have to, on a snap-recollection process, remember everything I was going to do, but also subdivide it into remembering the details of each.

I had a better way to explain this on the way home, but ironically enough, it was lost in the transition between then and now. Every second counts when my mind is flooded with ideas and I don't have a way of writing them down, and...there was a delay, because my mom needed the computer, so some things were lost in transition.

Anyway...I've got some work to do. I have to fit in six hours what took me nine last time.
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...Tuesday?

7/26/2016

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...Whoops.
It's actually.
Well, not.

Technically.

It's past midnight, by half an hour.

So today, didn't really do much. I've mostly been wasting my time on plug.dj, in a community for the site I play mafia on. (I'd link it, but the link is currently private.) It's a very good place to share music, and quickly replacing my streaming of the end as my favorite.

The choices of music to play are only as good as the people in the room, but...

...There's some really good taste in music going around, meaning the time wasted on music is time I'm okay with having spent that way.

I'll see if I can better incorporate it into my life tomorrowish.

I'm thinking that everything will get better then. Even considering setting a hard time to get up, even though I don't need it.

​Sorry, not much to this blog.
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Monday...

7/25/2016

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So, I'm not sure which is more annoying.
I had a song in my head. It was the epic, fast-paced violin song...
...That happens to fit perfectly with the tune of THE tune, which I'm pretty much positive at this point is my creation (or, at this point, might as well be; I've definitely made it my own, at the least).

The annoyance comes in, because in this particular case...I'm not sure whether it was another of my own creations, an epic variation of THE tune, or if it was just an already-existing tune that just so happens to coincidentally match the timing and many of the notes (the string version that was playing of course having like 3-4 times as many) being the same. This has happened with songs before, so it's possible.

And that bugs me, not knowing. Especially since I could only get a small fraction of the tune to play through my head.

...The second part, which is where the not sure part comes in, is that I promptly forgot what the tune was while taking a shower. I had it in my head, as I woke up. But some time during the shower, I lost it. And when I tried to regain it, I ended up getting Trans-Siberian Orchestra music stuck in my head, and it's still playing.

...Mind you, that's certainly not a bad thing. I love their music, so having it stuck in my head is nothing but good. It's just, I'm absolutely 100% positive that it WASN'T their song(s) in my head before, so I know that whatever tune I had, it isn't what I have in my head right now.

Thus, the annoyance.

​Ah, well.
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Ooooooohhhh......

7/24/2016

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So. Day after our hike. Thiiiiiiis...had the foreseen consequences. There's soreness in my toes, blisters on the back, some pain from my injury, soreness on the front of my calves (at the very least!), soreness on basically all sides of my thighs, definite soreness on all four sides of my hips (yes, even there), soreness on my ribs (which basically means: soreness on all my side and most of my front), soreness on my back (literally, all of my back), some soreness in my shoulders (though that's more tenderness), a little soreness in my neck, and also, extreme physical exhaustion. Tired feet, tired eyes, tired mind almost falling asleep on the guard stand.

...Still think it was worth it. I'll definitely live, I can say that much, so it's not too bad. Just a little ow-inducing right now.

What I mostly came here to talk about, though, is an idea I had. I've said before that the dream I had, turned game, was basically gonna conclude in the game. Well...with certain liberties taken for the adjusted medium (among them, having a pre-set ending and with characters necessarily living longer and others maybe dieing or even living when they shouldn't), I'm thinking of writing it as a book.

I could only do so after I'm done with the game, but I think--given what I've already written--the idea is feasible. I basically am already writing it as a novel, so I figure...I can make it actually a novel. (Hey, it's certainly interesting enough to be one! Or so I've been told. By multiple people.)

I might even adapt trivia facts into the beginning of chapters. (I'm thinking the novel would progress in a mostly-linear order, but feature segments which make it clear that it's not quite chronological order, extended flashbacks that give it the illusion of being anachronistic in order, and writing the whole thing in third person past tense to make the distinction a little easier.)

Who knows, it might even make a good NaNoWriMo project, depending on the timing. (Games take a long time to finish, but never know when it will. Could be way too soon, or way too late.) I think I have the skill to do it, and even the willpower to push through, especially since most of the work's already done for me.

It would, however, displace my current novel. It'd be a one-off book (albeit a long one), though, unlike my current novel, so it wouldn't be as large a commitment. Furthermore, it's in my preferred genre, unlike my current novel. (I like writing fantasy.) Plus, it'd only be a temporary diversion, so I think it'd be worth it ultimately.

...Still, not possible for...quite a while, so in the mean time, I'll keep working on my current novel until that point.
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Exhausted...

7/23/2016

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So today was my birthday.
I think I mentioned this before, but...my family decided to celebrate by going on a hike.
We worked the details out yesterday.

It was on Greider Lake.
For those too lazy to look that up, that's a 9.4 miles round trip hike.
We did the whole thing.

I was gonna make this a much longer blog post, but the energy from me has been drained, and it's nearly time for bed anyway, so all I've got time to mention is that after we split into two groups on the way down (my sisters and I in one group, with my brother as a sacrificial lamb to help our parents), I had the idea to go to Denny's for dinner, so...we did.

And now I am extremely tired and need rest so despite this being a VERY good birthday (aside from the stress of trying to run my game today once home, and the SERIOUS abuse I put my body through which I'm sure I'll feel tomorrow), I don't really have much to say today, either.

Sorry!
I really want to blog more on the subject, it's just...I can't, for many reasons. The details not coming, the exhaustion, the time restriction, all of that sort of thing.
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    rBree2

    AKA:
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    ​rangerbreenew

    Just your average blogger. A transwoman lesbian, with autism, adhd, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, who is plural (a polyfrag median system).

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