Tomorrow it'll be much the same since dance was cancelled. As a result, same thing as today is scheduled. Work, then more work. I'm feeling mixed about my skills. In some areas I feel like a natural, even pro, that I am putting things out as I should be. In other areas I feel like a fraud, that I am a fake who talks big but delivers nothing but the bs. Still, it's experience all the same.
Even if I end up having done terribly and can't get another job recommendation, then it's still something which technically speaking I can put on my resume anyway. (Well once I get security clearance to do so more or less.) Also even if I end up having done terribly, I still am getting paid for having done it even if it's terrible. I'd feel awful about having been paid to be a failure, but it's still something I need.
Of course the hope is that I do well, which I am certainly aiming for.
It is pretty stressful though. I'm having like zero free time. Well I do have a limited window of like four hours, but said four hours vanish quickly on things which shouldn't take me a lot of time and yet DO take me that greater period of time.
One notable event from today: I used the girl's bathroom for the first time today.
This is in an Engineering field.
Staffed by older gentlemen near-exclusively, except for the younger gentlemen with impressive college degrees. (I am a bit of an exception for being an unremarkable individual.)
I don't even think the building has any female employees aside from the remote possibility that building has some sort of office/management/etc. position stationed there.
But even if they did.
I used said bathroom at a time which the building was technically open during but which was past the time all other employees had left. (The only employee other than myself there was the person who I am working with.) Just because I don't want to walk in and have to explain myself doesn't mean there isn't a worse risk of being caught walking out. (The former would more or less take a female coworker in there already. The latter is just a matter of bad timing when stepping out if someone's around to see it.)
So I did have to be rather careful and be basically positive it was in fact just us in the building and certainly given that this is someone I know well that he didn't see me, but it felt really empowering all the same to use the bathroom for the gender I actually identify as.
I think that's everything, except for the reminder that on Friday I'll be at Emerald City ComiCon.