I had a thought that I was going to leave for just my journal/diary--but like.

I actually feel like writing a proper blog about it?

Not like I have anything better to talk about. (Unless talking about my chronic fatigue this week counts. I don't know why, but I literally can't not be tired.)

Anyway. So basically.

I had a thought.

Realistically speaking.

I won't be able to make everything that I want to make, be a reality.

I come up with new ideas on the daily, and each idea takes literally years to come to fruition, if I keep up on it. (I never keep up with it.)

...But...

...While I can't make everything that I want to make a reality...

...I can make a few things a reality. Realistically speaking, assuming I don't die too young, I should be able to get at least a few down.

And I genuinely think I have a chance of getting about four done. One would be harder, but I think I can pull off doing all four in my lifetime.

Basically.

There's a Big Four that I feel I owe it to them to create.

​Those four are my current work (a novel stylized as if an anime) on Farn (both the main story and the sequel), because of Vee;
Red Hood Rider (as a webcomic), because of Ruby;
The Descended (as a webcomic), because of all the characters within (sequels are more optional);
Phyrra and Cyrus (animated series with four seasons each at 12 episodes except the last which has 2-4 extra).

Each of them represents a world that I have built extensively, so extensively that literally multiple characters from each have permanently become part of my brain--no literally. I'm plural, you may recall, and part of that is that I literally gain notable characters in my head, permanently, as they become proper people of their own.
When I write a narrative, the characters I write don't stay as characters. They become people. I start with the idea of a person and their function in the story, but past that point, they start to evolve. They grow beyond their roles.

They gain personality traits they didn't need. Emotions they didn't need. Quirks that are things they didn't need. They say things beyond the necessary. They grow. They expand. Their motivations change. Their reasons shift. My notes often display this evolution in characterization where some notes start with them saying one thing, but then I seemingly later retcon it to be something entirely different.

But that's not me changing my mind--it's them having taken on lives of their own and made their own decisions. Often in line with what was written, but for entirely different reasons. They have lives on their own. They are people. Not characters. They are fluid, dynamic, ever-shifting, ever-evolving.

Because they are still part of a narrative I am telling, they basically act out what they need to act out, but they are not defined by their actions. They grow beyond that, and can shift the narrative. They can change what they act out. They are greater than anything they would be.

Basically. Once I make a narrative, they populate the world and the world becomes a world. Not a setting. Not a story. A world. A whole universe. A universe populated not by characters, but rather, by people. The people in that universe have free wills. Those free wills, those emotions, those motivations, their memories, when I think about them enough to bring them to life:

I literally bring them to life.

And then, once they are brought to life--they are a part of me. As in, a voice in my head. I influenced their life. I came up with a story which they did things in. But after having done that...after I got to know them, to really know them. Talking to them. They talked back. And then, they start to talk to me outside of the story. And make decisions outside of the story.

I have a Vee facet. I hear her voice clearly. Vee has facets of her own, but I can hear her. Vee is as real as I am, quite literally. She has just as strong a voice as my own. She is one of us. There's hundreds OF us--and she is among them. Vee is not a character. She is a person. She is me, and I am her, and she is a proper individual. Every bit a part of Bree as any other voice within the Range of Bree system that is us.

​And she's not alone.

Ruby is there, from Red Hood Rider.

Phyrra is there, from Phyrra and Cyrus.

They're not alone I'm sure. Others from their worlds are in my head beyond just them. It's just that those are the ones confirmed.

And while I don't have all the characters of The Descended in my head, I'm fairly sure most or all of the main 16 among others are in there, too. (Aria definitely, probably Argus, etc.)

​The big four are the four that are more prominent in all aspects of my life. Literally all of them.
I constantly go back to them.
I go back to the world of Soano.
I go back to the Rubyverse.
I go back to the colliniverse.
And I am actively deep diving Farn.

At every chance I get, I channel them.

They are part of my life.

They are literally defining decisions I make. They talk to me, advise me, give feedback, are part of my internal council, even make decisions of us.

I go to those worlds for comfort.

They are the four I have always been the most passionate about.

They are the stories I blog about.

They are the stories I talk about.

They are the stories I never ever forget.

Most of the details, I just don't forget.

They are not settings for stories. They are worlds. Universes.

I owe it to my headmates to make their worlds be reality for more than just me. I owe it to them. They have given so much to me. I need to give it back to them. Those four stories just are everything. They are passion projects. Epic in scale, but which are worth being made. Difficult, grand, large in scale...but all worthy of it. They have grown beyond the scope of what was set for them.

​Soano was just a joke but now is genuinely a full world with full geography.
​The Rubyverse grew into an amalgamation of so many past ideas but took on a unique life of its own--not any of the past works just imported, instead being more inspired by past works.
The Colliniverse just organically wrote itself, albeit taking some cues from Soano.
And Farn, while taking some inspirations from the Colliniverse (and by proxy, from Soano), and taking some cues from a really REALLY old setting (that also kinda influenced all of the other three), has also written largely most of itself.

​​They deserve to be made.

And I think that I can actually make those in the span of my lifetime.

It'll be challenging.
Daunting.
Difficult.
Hard.

And I might not succeed.

But I think that I can pull it off if I do that.

Okay so there was more to the ramble originally.
I wanted to mention as a reminder something about the main blog (weebly) versus the wix mirror (wix), but I forget whatever it was.

I also was going to mention notable stories that are not in the big four, but which I keep coming back to. (Life of a Mortal, Coat, Disease, namely.) And honorable mentions to the likes of the superhero stories, notable stories like Gistou, etc.

But I started this blog before midnight (10 pm I think), and it's 3 am now--not written continuously, but over the course of time.

I'm tired and beyond being tired, I am also scatterbrained.

So I think it'll be good to leave it here.

Or at least, mostly finished it. First, let's show a couple of the extra work in progress states.

And now, the "final" image:

Now, it's not perfect.

At the top, the hair is too "thick", extending too far out. The hair basically has a straight trajectory from the top in a diagonal line to the bottom--it should be more of a curve, going from where it is at the bottom in an upward curve that ends around the ears or so. So basically, the hair at the head should start at around where the black tentacle shoulder is, falling straight down from there and then curving out to the final location, rather than the much further forward starting spot seen.

I forgot to draw the toes, and also left out drawing fingernails.

I didn't add what's the term? Line width? Line depth? Stroke width? I'm drawing a blank on the term to use, but basically, making the lineart get thicker and thinner at different points rather than being uniformly thick.

This is a more "casual" look at Elemental Ruby, so I didn't have the different eye colors, the red claws or swirling vortex on the tentacle side or the mask on her face. (The idea I wanted to draw was a midway point between her being in battle form and relaxed form. Relaxed form is Future-Ruby in her default state eventually; combat/battle form is the fully combat-oriented Elemental Ruby as originally envisioned.)

The light fibers look more like lightning than they do strings of pure light; the anatomy, proportions, and perspectives are all a little bit off. There are a bunch of things that could be better if I spent time fixing them, and others I don't know how to fix.

The darkness tentacles don't really come through and the hair being alternating strands of black and gold I also didn't quite convey perfectly, aside from the flow of the hair not being perfect.

That, aside from the issues I pointed out in my blog post from yesterday. The pose I'm not 100% happy about.
The proportions, anatomy, and perspective are all not quite right. There's a lot of funky things that are a little "off", that aren't quite right. Its anatomical flaws are definitely present, among them being the thinness and length of her legs as well as the shape of her torso.

I'm not sure I like the lip/lipstick. I wanted it to be visible on her vampire grin, but I'm not sure it comes off properly.

The blade thigh bands are too low, and should be higher up.

The arm covered in light fibers, I actually don't know how to draw, and it shows.

The light fibers look a lot like lightning, and I'm not sure how to convey that they are fibers made of light rather than jolts of lightning shooting out.

The alternating hair between gold/black I didn't get to be my vision perfectly; the capes/wings don't quite work as I want them to; the dark tendrils don't look like dark tendrils; the light fibers don't look like light fibers, both on the arm and on the extensions; everything that was "hard" to do on the image, I ended up not actually matching my vision.

But I took a look back at the spot where I originally envisioned Elemental Ruby and how I did compared to my original vision there. Some things, just changed: the default dress color at some point shifted from red to black. The second hair color to alternate with black at some point shifted from brown to gold. The wing/capes swapped color sides at some point (I think this was for better symmetry?).

And other things were left out as part of this not being part of the vision for what I wanted to make. I didn't want fully full casual Elemental Ruby, the default look for Future-Ruby, but I also didn't want to draw the full combat-ready Elemental Ruby that would include the mask, claws, swirling vortex, etc. so this was my go-to for an in-between, a partial combat form where Ruby has summoned darkness around her right arm, fibers around her left arm, and wings, but hasn't fully powered up, a sort of "display" of power without really putting power in, as it were.

So like. I rate this as being about 80% effective. It's not 100% my vision. It's not what I was hoping to make. But it gets darn close, for an image that I said I couldn't make circa three years ago. Now, granted. I did it entirely digital, when I really wanted to do sketches of it. (And to be fair, I think I can in fact do partial sketches of it and then stitch them together digitally.)

But it's still passable in conveying most of the idea that I was hoping to convey.

So remember this?

This was me attempting to draw Elemental Ruby, as in, Ruby Scarlet Ventrella, protagonist of Red Hood Rider, in her ultimate/final form, so ultimate that it is only unlocked after the story has actually ended.

It was good!

It was really good.

But I thought I could do better.

​So I made the decision to start over with a different approach.

Now, it's not perfect.
The pose I'm not 100% happy about.
The proportions, anatomy, and perspective are all not quite right. There's a lot of funky things that are a little "off", that aren't quite right. Its anatomical flaws are definitely present, among them being the thinness and length of her legs as well as the shape of her torso.

I'm not sure I like the lip/lipstick. I wanted it to be visible on her vampire grin, but I'm not sure it comes off properly.

The blade thigh bands are too low, and should be higher up.

The arm covered in light fibers, I actually don't know how to draw, and it shows.

The light fibers look a lot like lightning, and I'm not sure how to convey that they are fibers made of light rather than jolts of lightning shooting out.

But overall?

Overall, it's going incredibly well.

I'll need more layers for the skin, and everything left for me to draw is insanely hard. The alternating hair, the darkness tentacles, and the wings are all going to be tremendously difficult for me to figure out how to display.

But I was inspired, and overall, I am already insanely proud of what I have done so far. So, I've done a lot today and I am proud of my work.

I would say "in my defense, I have been busy" doing a lot of things, which is true!
...But mostly the lack of blogs has been pure sheer nasty depression sticking its ugly face out and taking control of my life.

I am however, trying to fight back. It's not an overnight process where I will suddenly magically have a fix for everything, but I'm working on it, trying to get more and more on top of it. I've actually done a ton of stuff, gathering makeup supplies, shopping, etc. But I've got a lot more work to do.

I started with a list of activities, divided up into one-time things, daily/weekly things, and additional/optional things on top of those, and then added in a need to remember login information for various different important things.

So far, this is what I've got;


ONE-TIME THINGS:
-Catch up on emails
-Do tax stuff
-Regain access to any sites I need to (at least one but see below)
-Restart unemployment (I messed up by not doing it so need to restart it)
-Seek psychologist (so that I can begin transition)
-Pursue namechange
-Finish makeup collection

DAILY/WEEKLY THINGS:
-Shave (daily for face)
-Comb hair (do with shave)
-Makeup (daily once I've got the supplies)
-Shower 3-4x / week + change (Monday, Wednesday, Friday?)
-Dental Hygiene (2x/day)
-Unemployment once restarted (weekly?)
-Shave (chest Wed, legs Fri, arms Mon)
-Pills once gotten (at prescribed time/method/etc.)
-Checking email (daily+)

ADDITIONAL DAILY THINGS:
-Once on pills, exercise:
*Daily: jackknives/crunches alternating
(start 10, increase by 5/week up to 100)
*Knuckle Pushups Monday / Wednesday / Friday
(start 5, increase by 1/week up to 100)
(use corset or similar for back form)
*Squats Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday
(start 10, increase by 2/week up to 100)
*Walk/Jog/Run;
Walk 1 mile/day, increase by 1 mile/week;
After up to 5, add jog for 1 mile on top of walk (6 total);
After 5 jog + 5 walk, add 1 mile run;
Max out at 15 miles / day

BONUS ADDITIONAL/OPTIONAL ACTIVITIES IN A DAY (Possible activities):
-League of Legends
-Teamfight Tactics
-TFT Hyper-roll
-Chrono Trigger
-Stardew Valley
-Epic Battle Fantasy 5
-Minecraft
-Art
*Finish self-portrait
*Finish Elemental Ruby
-Phyrra and Cyrus (scriptwork, songwriting)
-Job Search

-Storywriting (the below are stories I have a recent desire to work on)
*Coat
*The Bandit Seven (supervillain/"hero")
*Vetra (superhero/villain)
*The supervillain trio story
*Threadripper and Kinesis (supervillain) story
*Requiem (supervillain)
*Projection (superhero + supervillain) story
*Heroes 4 Hire (superhero)



ACCOUNTS I NEED ACCESS TO:
(I probably should not list these publicly even on a blog nobody reads so, uh...there's a bunch here just not to be listed)

So that's what I've done.

It's not enough, but it's at least a good start.

The bad:
I've lost the momentum I had on Monday. I did so, so, SO much prep work for the big coming out day on Monday and I've done zero since then, including not keeping my younger sister up to date on the things I did Monday.

Also, I've not done my daily rounds on the internet.

The good:
I brushed my teeth today for the first time in a while, keeping up hygiene, and I actually did art today which unlike my previous attempt which I scrapped, I have so far kept and it's on track to being something actually worth trying to make better!

I'm also at a really really good farming spot in Chrono Trigger to get me to where I was level-wise, which will also get me to where I was story-wise fairly quickly. (I'm grinding in the Fiendlord Keep in the first battle hall, fighting the six group repeatedly, because they always drop mid-ethers, and mid-ethers give 30 MP, and group heals top up my HP and take far less than that MP-wise and I'm getting level ups like crazy. I want to get Chrono to 99 MP and Nadia and Lucca to ** MR so that I can re-fight the post-40 pre-99 Spekkio and reclaim the rewards from my first file.)

Granted.

Both of these are things I may not finish before the coming out day--so they're worthless except in the best case scenarios.

But I don't want to not do them just because in the worst case scenarios I won't finish them. I needed them to release the pressure.

Mixed bag overall but a decent, acceptable day overall in my opinion. Could be better, could also be worse, I'll take whatever wins I can get.

​For the record, this is the art at where it is now.

I used ~5 reference photos (a google search of lady abs combined with a notable lady-abs image from Spinnerette which I binge-read the entirety of over the weekend, a naked lady photo for anatomy, a QAVimator pose, and a Rinmaru Anime face to get a more animesque proportioned head), including some trace work. (Which I am not the happiest about, I hate relying on traces for digital art.)

But it is already on-track to be much much better.

I need to keep in mind, "this is just the initial outline", too; I'll probably need to refine things like the exact outlines, the face, the exact anatomy, and even if it's correct, needing to make it not all solid black. But for a base to build off of, this is a fine start. 

For the record, this is still Elemental Ruby. It'll become more obvious when I add in better bangs, refine the waist area (her torso is a bit too wide right now, I needed it to be this way at its base to get enough room for the lady-abs while giving good proportions to be anatomically proportionate, but now that I have the base I can work on thinning the torso area), add a better nose definition, add in the eyes, and start to add things like her clothes and such.

It's a good start, but there's a LOT of work left to do.

...And frustratingly, while there is a spark of creativity to be had in the depression, it is rehashing material I already have made, rather than creating actual new material.

Basically.

When I am depressed, I frequently get bouts of creativity, in spite of the depression. That is to say. There's a difference between manic phases where I'm inspired to create things, and depressed phases where I'm inspired to come up with things that I later create when manic.

Which is to say.

During Manic phases, I am almost never coming up with a brand new idea--the mania is putting effort into creating an idea that I had at an earlier time.

Said earlier time is usually a depressive phase, where I was suffering from depression, where I couldn't get the ability to create something, but I at least write it down (or make mental note of it), with the hope of making it later.

Yet there are also depressive episodes where instead of creating new material, I simply reinforce the memory of older material.

Which is all fine and good if I didn't write that material down the first time, but utterly worthless if I did because it is giving me literally nothing new.

Tonight is one of those nights, covering the superhero/villain stories I've been thinking up as of late.

There were at least one or two supervillain stories taking place in fantasy settings.

I actually wrote a partial blog on one Worm-inspired (with the way superpowers work) superhero group, Heroes 4 Hire, although I went into extensive material I didn't blog about, some of which I don't think I ended up writing down anywhere but which I believe is mostly memorized (aside from some side-characters, probably). I believe it was to be written in third person.

I'm pretty sure the next Worm-inspired story, Requiem, about the titular supervillain (whose powers have nothing to do with 'his'--it's complicated--supervillain name, a common theme of the story being deception and subversion of typical trends of supervillains), who is...probably one of the most interesting POV characters I've ever come up with. (The entire story being first person past tense, narrated by the titular character.) Short version short: a closeted transwoman gains the ability to create a second body, which she uses to live the life of a normal (slightly younger) girl, but because she still has to live in her original (pre-transition, still closeted) body and she could at the time only be conscious in one body at a time, eventually she ends up venting her frustrations with the creation of a third body, who becomes a supervillain. (Incidentally, this allows them to have 2/3 bodies conscious at the same time.)
The power evolved is something of a combination of Genesis's power from Worm (basically, consciousness in an illusionary body) with Harem's power from Grl Genius (basically, it's one brain in three bodies, so it is still fundamentally the same person in all bodies), with the side of Mystique and Ant/Giant-Man, in that the projected form has the basic shape locked as human, but can be any sized/shaped/formed human. Her original body, the closeted one, is still fragile and frail, her projected second body is technically empowered but actively avoids using her power and maintains a constant form and is trying her hardest to live as a normal human, and their third body is usually in the form of a male villain who is the public head of an on the rise villain group.

Then there was the story, pretty sure I did a partial blog on this one, about the (also first person) story about Projection, the name of someone whose life splits into two parallel universes (alternating in viewpoint between the two), one a hero, the other as a villain, with them dreaming about the entire daily life of their other universe's self. This one does have one slight Worm-like aspect to it, but of the three takes the least. (Heroes 4 Hire takes an almost identical concept to 'shards' like Worm has for explaining superpowers; Requiem has semi-frequent battles against Kaijus invading from the Eldritch Dimension in a way strongly resembling Endbringers; this story has superpowers being closely tied to the emergence of creatures who're mostly small, but on rare occasions spawn gigantic endbringerest/kaijuesque city-destroying threats.)

And then there was the story that I can best describe as "Dungeons and Dragons meets My Hero Acadamia meets Worm" in that it's an Urban Fantasy based in modern times of a D&Desque world with modern technology and magic, while existing, being largely obsolete, adventuring being an outdated career, etc. (think pretty similar to that Pixar picture with the two brothers seeking their dad, actually, tho I had this idea before that film was released), with a twist; a significant portion of the population (especially prominent in humans, which is theorized to be a contributing factor in humanity's dominance as the most prolific species) has the ability to transform into a hybrid form between their race and some other race. Human-dog having a werewolf form is easier to explain, but it can also be, sayyyyy, elf-troll hybrid form, or dwarf-dragon hybrid form, to give an idea of the variance involved.
And then, of those with this transformation, a small number of them have defies-the-known-rules-of-the-universe (magic having been studied to a science, magic is a known rule of the universe) superpowers, superpowers that go beyond the scope of any known magic, racial ability, etc. (I quite love this story; the Worm similarities come from the protagonist and her goals, tho I admit I do struggle to write her. I'm also not quite sure on her identity. I'm not sure if she's a her, if she's genderfluid, if she's nonbinary, or if she's a transman. Her alt-form is male; that I know, but I haven't figured out her identity. Also, tho I am a transwoman, I was raised 'male' so it's unfortunately painfully obvious that her writer hasn't lived the life of a woman and that she's being written by someone who was raised 'male'. I'm a girl, but I struggle to write from the mindset of a woman whose femininity is a major plot point. I've written POV characters that were female, but whose character wouldn't change at all if male. This is a character who fundamentally would be different if male, and in the writing it shows how bad I am at this. Regrettably.)

​And then there is the story whose only title I can think of is, "Threadripper and Kinesis", with the point of view character being the villain protagonist Kinesis. This is the first story since Heroes 4 Hire to feature a decidedly male protagonist (I specifically wrote Kinesis and Threadripper to be brothers), tho I admit it is also the least distinct of the stories I've got. It's got the same aesthetic as the other stories; supervillain protagonist duels regularly with hero antagonists, with the story documenting their rise to power. But the closest thing it has to a unique draw is the brothers' reasons for becoming villains: a genuine belief that the lifestyle of a villain where you are prepared for constant betrayal and your allies turning on you and heroes wishing to jail you is better than the lifestyle of a hero where any betrayal is devastating and the mortality rate is much higher for both them and their loved ones. (Mortality rate from villains is almost exclusively either other villains, or heroes going on a roaring rampage of revenge to avenge slain loved ones where the villain killing said heroes' loved ones seals their fate.)
This is the story with the best romance out of any of my recent adventures into superheroes/villains, tho, so I am actually considering playing that up and making this my first romance novel.
(The only other romance novel I've ever considered writing has the basic high concept of "I can write a Twilight that is better than Twilight", just with a different supernatural common entity from vampires and werewolves. Which actually wouldn't be just one book, mind you. It'd be three core books, each with their own unique female protagonist. But I digress.)

​And most recently?
I've begun to develop a supervillain story, loosely inspired by multiple different sources. Taking from the Fitz-Simmons Agents of SHIELD dynamic, taking from Narbonic's Dave-Helen dynamic, and the Dr Kinesis-Alice dynamic from Evil Plan.

Which is basically.
Some works have a hardware-software duo; some works have an omni-bio-scientist and an omni-tech scientist.

This work splits the difference and divides it up into three characters. The protagonist, a transwoman who starts the story having recently graduated college with her multiple phDs in multiple fields (expert in biological matter in general of all kinds, from fungii to virii to bacteria to humans to animals), who also is a young mother (due to an accident in experimenting on herself--short version short, she accidentally impregnated herself with her own biological sperm, squicky as that may sound, and she is constantly worried about the development of her daughter as a consequence; she originally got into her field to improve herself, but stayed in the field to do everything possible for her daughter).

She also has the superpower of what amounts to an alternate dimension which works a bit like Star Trek transporters with a side of replicators (this explanation should be familiar to those who saw me talk about how Riders work in Red Hood Rider; same basic mechanic, only more powerful here); she places objects into her dimension, where she stores them; she can recall them (and even duplicate them en masse) out, and these copies last for a considerable amount of time and are enhanced in durability due to basically being hard light).

To use this superpower effectively, she has a masters in coding (she needed working understanding of programming code to help her understand the 'coding' of her superpower), and in the process she gained an associate's in some hardware-oriented field as well. (Research not fully done on this story, cut me some slack.)

She is hired to be the third head of a supervillain organization led by two other supervillains, the hardware and software guys, who basically have a similar diversification. The one with the superpower of healing has a masters in (some human-oriented medical field, research not done yet) to use it and a minor in the alt-field; the one with the superpower I've yet to come up with has the minor in (bio field) and master in the healer's field.

All three are, essentially: supergenius mad scientists that're aspiring evil overlords, with superpowers to use on top of their existing scientific abominations (since they do do mad science with both modifying their own biology and using mad science gadgets, on top of also using their superpowers).

I've made all of these stories in my head.
I've, tonight, made new material for none of them.
I've done writing on none of them recently.

​Thus, depression sucks.

Yesterday was so good, such a good blog, so I thought I might have momentum gearing up for me.
In a sense, I do, in that I had fun playing around with the future-Ruby, specifically, devising scenarios where she'd actually be using that super form, and in that sense you could say I progressed, but I didn't really want to blog about it, yaknow. It was something I kinda wanted to keep to myself as a personal entertainment thing. I felt like if I talked about it, I'd be obligated to shoehorn it into the epilogue of Red Hood Rider, or something, when I don't want to do that.

In terms of an actual blog I do want to write, though...I got nuthin.

​I mayyyyyyy need to get up early, though, sooooooo...going to bed now. Sorry for my lack of inspiration! Or rather, lack of inspiration when it comes to material I want to blog about.

It PROBABLY won't be as good as if I had made it on the day of.

But basically.

Yesterday, I had a really good vision.
A gorgeous absolutely awesome vision.

It was a picture of a super form that is technically speaking canonical to Red Hood Rider...but which is only canonical in the sense of "it is something that happens in the canonical future of the Rubyverse...after Red Hood Rider has ended."

Because the super form I imagined takes ten years' of magical experience, minimum, to build up the 'magical strength', so to speak, to not suffer from magical fatigue from so much as attempting it. And seeing as how Red Hood Rider ends when Ruby's 18, not 26-at-minimum, that means that it won't actually appear in the story itself. (Unless I like...randomly show a picture of the future in the series at some time. Which, mind you, with an oracle play, is quite possible. But like...while it's possible, I just have no current plans to show that sort of thing.)

This form, which I am dubbing "Elemental Ruby", is basically her ultimate of ultimate forms...because in this form, instead of channeling her power through weapons (even her Black Ruby form channels most of its power through her claws which count as a weapon) or innate powers of a form, she is directly channeling her power through herself.

This is a power we DO canonically see her, briefly, use a small form of...and the consequence is that she suffers a magical fatigue burnout from the attempt--because weapons make it easier to channel innate rider abilities. Each of the elemental riders, when you think about it, does this. Ruby, her bows (mostly); Sally, her bazooka; Hannah, her staff; Gary, his sword and shield; Vili, her dagger; D.D., her wand/her sword; Whitney, her guns/knives.

The only one who doesn't use a weapon is Amy, but she has her vampiric nature as a channel (where, basically, her base powers are 'light-based counterparts to innate vampire powers that usually are darkness'), and, she is a semi-magical creature inherently (whereas Ruby is not inherently magical; she's just as artificially magical as any other rider or any other vampire).

Basically, channeling powers especially elemental powers is much, much, much easier if you do it through something beyond your body, because if you use your body directly...you run into the problem of exhausting your innate magic very very very very very very quickly. This innate magic is a little like a muscle; you flex it when you use magic and stress it when you use a lot and magical fatigue is basically when you sprain it from having used too much.

So over time you can do it...with lots and lots and lots of practice and experience using magic. Thus, why the form takes ten years minimum, no cheating, to obtain. And thus, why the form while technically canonical in that it definitely is a thing that happens in the future of the Rubyverse, won't appear in Red Hood Rider itself, which spans the course of two years total.

But as for what the form is, beyond basically allowing Ruby to use all of the aspects of Darkness and Light simultaneously (for how broken that is, well, I know I've written blogs on darkness-element's brokenness and feel like I did one for light, too, a few years ago)...

...It is the coolest image I've ever imagined.

On Ruby's right arm, there's swirling, twisting tendrils of black darkness, which create the aesthetic of a hybrid between a skintight suit and a bulky spiked gauntlet. These tendrils form sharp, long, boney fingers. At the tip of these fingers are red claws. The only part not imbued with this swirling mass of darkness? The palm, which is a swirling mass of crimson energy, spinning in a vortex. On the back of her hand, opposite the palm, rests a red gem.

When this formation reaches her shoulder, it spreads out to be a hybrid between black-feathers and black-tendrils to form an incredibly long, gigantic wing-like shape, which flows like a cape, pointing backwards with the effect of a perpetual wind, while still being movable/manipulable. (The closest example I can think of is the main female ghoul from Tokyo Ghoul who's a fragile speedster, but even that doesn't capture the effect I'm going for exactly.)

On Ruby's left arm, you get bright yellow masses of strings flowing each and every direction. Hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of small, barely visible, long, energy strings (think monomolecular razor wire) flowing each and every direction, but many of them loosely forming constructs out of pure light. Mirroring her right hand, the back of her left hand has a white gem on it.

These strings are shaped similarly to the tendrils on the other side, so that results in a sort of skintight golden suit/rounded (as opposed to spikey) gauntlet formation, which continues all the way up her arm. (Both of these don't end at the elbow like a gauntlet would, but continue up to the shoulders where they branch out.)

Predictably, the left shoulder has a white light/feather wing hybrid, mirroring the right shoulder; incredibly long, gigantic, flows constantly, like both the tendrils on the right and the strings further down the left, constantly moving, shifting, changing exact form/position, but being malleable, an effectively cape/wing hybrid thing, pointing loosely backwards.

These wings are, more or less, combining the best of her arcangel super form's abilities, by allowing her to have the wing weapons of them, yet critically, having them not attached to her arms (which are thus, free, to do different things) while still permitting them to be used for both flight and barrage of abilities.

Her feet have, overlayed over them, each an automatic crossbow construct, acting as boots. (These allow her to do the "wall jump in air" effect where characters bounce in the air--mind you, she can already fly, but this allows her to shoot forward in directions. Which also gives her incredible movement speed boosts and also one hell of a kick. But that's beside the point.)

Her shins are layered in the bolts basically lifted from her arbalest armor super form, allowing her to use the abilities from that form, and to continuously reload her crossbows on her feet. (For those keeping track, this gives her six avenues of attack potentially; legs, arms, and wings.)

Her thighs are layered in overlapping black blades, taken from her blood staff. (Her blood staff's blade portion has the blades be about the length of a thigh, by my estimate, so this blade-armor works perfectly here.) This basically hybridizes her inherent vampiric abilities with said arbalest armor. Said blades can be telekinetically launched separately from the bolts (that's an ability she has with her blood staff; she can throw it and telekinetically control its trajectory and this is the ultimate extension of that ability), but she can also launch the blades using the crossbow for extra power/momentum behind the shot.

On her back, there's nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. From just above her butt (by about as much as her normal shorts) to her shoulders...there's absolutely no clothing. A completely and totally exposed back. (She's wearing a dress, and backless dresses are a thing which exist. What she's wearing incorporates one of them, by using the Bleach logic of "anything she'd wear would be blow off by her own energy", more or less.)

On her torso, she's wearing a strapless (and, yes, backless) dress (the dress can be red, black, or white; it's red by default). However, said dress in the middle at the top has the V-neck shape. (Strapless dresses tend to be flat, like this - , but this dress would be like this \/.) Which, yes, is mostly for extra cleavage. (Adult Ruby likes to be sexy and to some extent show her assets off; it's one of her more impulsive/vampiric traits which by the time of the future she has made peace with and come to more or less accept as a part of her.)

I realize you can and do have dresses with a V-neck; I realize you can and do have backless dresses; I realize you can and do have strapless dresses; I realize that combining all three is probably impossible in real life, to which I say: Ruby has magic, rules of reality's clothing quite literally mean nothing to her. 

Anyway, said dress extends to about mid-thigh; on both of the sides, she has the inverted-v gap, the split, the slit, whatever it's called (my lifeguard shorts have them and I know that this is a thing that exists on some actual skirts and/or dresses), to allow for increased flexibility/mobility.

On her face, her right eye is blue; her left eye is red. She doesn't have a mask, per se, but she has swirling light energy flowing like water surrounding her right eye, and energy darkness dancing like flames over her left eye.

Her hair extends down to midway down her shins--half-black, half-light-brown. And by "half-black, half-brown", I don't mean "one side brown, the other side black". I don't mean "top brown/black, bottom half black/brown" (the kind of aesthetic that you'd expect from a dye job left to grow out). I don't mean a zebra-like effect down each strand of hair (basically a more extreme version of the previous).

I mean "every other strand of hair being a different color"--not literally, of course. But I mean "every other pencil stroke of hair alternating between those two colors". So pretty close. Basically, for it to be visibly alternating, quite rapidly, between the two colors.

It is literally the most gorgeous, the most amazing image that I have ever envisioned and I love it.

...The problem is.

I'm not a good enough artist to make it.

For a start.
I'd have to draw Ruby as 26 years old. Not as easy as it sounds.
I'd have to nail the hands--given these were the detail that gave me the idea in the first place, they are what I can envision clearest, but they are also what would be the hardest to do. Not just because hands are difficult, but because capturing a "still" of the image, especially when it'd take multiple "camera angles" for me to show off the entirety of the effects I describe, make it impossible for me to draw.

I'd have to nail the wings/capes--this is something that is a never before seen effect. Nobody has made the exact thing I have in mind, to my knowledge. No reference images. And, again. Same problem of trying to capture an object in motion, in a "still", while still portraying that continuous movement.

My weakest point in drawing people is their legs, and the level of detail I'm requiring is insane for them, but all that said...this part is probably the easiest part, aside from needing multiple "camera angles" to capture the crossbow-boots to their full effect.

The face is something that is incredibly hard for me to get down. The effect there is one which is crystal clear in my head but when I try to think of "how would I convey this effect in a drawing?", I come up blank; how could I convey that this is energy, not a physical mask? How can I convey that it's basically my unique take on "energy flowing out of the eyes, just...not directly out of the eyes"?

And then...for all of this...how can I convey this without color? Well, obviously, I can color this image, but even without it...how can I convey these effects without relying exclusively on color to pull them off?

I know for a fact that if I TRIED to draw this and just went "I'll use colors to pull off these effects"...I'd hate the drawing(s). Because it just...wouldn't be effective. It needs to work in pencil. I know it can in theory. In theory, it's possible to do what I am aiming to.

In practice, I'm just not good enough yet.

Which is where a little frustration comes in.

Recently, I've been revisiting my vampiric martial art. I'm not adding anything new to it, mind you, but I'm trying to bring back practicing it so that I don't forget it. As-is, I still have to re-teach myself and re-learn everything I self-taught when I invented it before.

But today, the thought occurred to me: I have an additional challenge--designing a second fictional martial art for the rubyverse, for HUNTERS. Specifically, the challenge is not only in making it a different style...but also, logically, because hunters oppose vampires...their style would, logically, need to serve as a counter to the vampiric martial art style.

Which poses a problem, because I designed the vampiric martial art to be basically impenetrable except by another more skilled practitioner of the vampiric martial art. It's a stance which has a firm grounding, emphasizing a lack of movement, except also having an emphasis on being incredibly flowey. Smooth, sharp, crisp, fast, deliberate, efficient, methodical, movements. Every step, every motion, every attack, every defense, using the least amount of effort but executed with the utmost speed and strength backing it.

A style high on redirection and control, but also having incredible strength backing its blows. That's more or less what I designed for the vampiric martial art--so what the hell could I develop as a martial art designed to counter it? It's posing a bit of a challenge to me, but my best guess is that it'd be a martial art style that would necessitate constant motion.

The vampiric martial art is, by and large, stationary; it can move, when needed, but is also fairly linear in said movements, because they are efficient and designed to counter opponents from the front, more or less. So the style countering it would, by necessity, focus on weak points; find a way to strike the vampire in areas the vampire doesn't have covered by their defense.

The basic fighting pose I'm thinking would be maximum utility for the hunter martial art would then be a modified version of the tae kwon do fighting stance I already use, just with extra spring to the feet and also keeping the arms low rather than up in the guard (which is, mind you, where the arms are in a different style of tae kwon do). This focus on a springy step would help maximize mobility, in helping the hunter out-maneuver the vampire.

Vampires would be stronger and even potentially faster than the human hunter, not to mention tons more durable; the hunter would need to focus on evasion above all else, and then find a way to create an opening, find an angle of attack that would work. Targeting the vampire's back is a really good one, but also striking the back of the leg or on joints like the elbow and shoulder.

Vampires might be more durable than humans, but they're not more flexible than humans. So a hunter would focus on maximizing that flexibility and taking advantage of a lack of it in the vampire; a vampire's just as vulnerable to a dislocated shoulder, broken elbow, etc. as any human would be, so strike them in areas that deal lasting damage, and you can defeat them.

There'd also be a thematic 'staking' blow, where they strike the heart, not to pierce it mind you, but to cause a heart tremor of sorts. A kind of blow that on a human could be lethal (it's a thing people die from), but on a vampire is basically a guaranteed stun if it lands perfectly. (Mind you, a stake through the heart's just as lethal to a vampire as it is a human, but this is, again, not a literal stake; it's a martial art move aimed at the heart.)

Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to develop the idea of the hunter martial art style further than that.
For me to first develop the hunter martial art, I need to have a complete, total, absolute mastery of the vampiric martial art first. And then, only then, can I maybe manage it--by more or less 'shadow fighting' (think shadow boxing, but not for a literal boxing match) it out. A skill I might not be able to actually do.

Still.

I find this a neat thing for me to have so much as started to develop, even if its growth has hit a stone wall.
​Does make me kinda sorta want to track down all of my notes on the vampiric martial art, tho. So that I can maybe once more compile it all together in a single location, to then build up on it continuously rather than start it, forget it, then start it again.

A really, really big, nice, screw which is one of my favorite imaginary weapons to play around with due to the raw potential found in the spiral shape (and, no, that's not the gurren lagann within me; I was fond of spiral-based weaponry before that show ever existed, yet alone, watched it--but after having done so, spiral-shaped weaponry became even more broken than it already was in terms of powers go for me because it went from "really, really strong" to "basically the strongest if it exists in the setting").

It actually got me thinking of it being a drill--again, not because of gurren lagann. Because the drill was the weapon of one of the seven original grandmasters of the blood masters and I imagined the screw as having the ability to cause its wielder to bleed for a power-up, leading to the obvious association. (The original drill that inspired the blood master was a drill from some childhood toy, WAY predating gurren lagann for the curious. At the time, I was expanding out the original blood master idea and turning whatever items I had on hand in my bedroom near my bed into items that could be made into being their weapons. The original grandmaster and his rival? Two different versions of the Capri Sun yellow straw. One thin, the other thick. No, seriously. When I said 'had on hand in my bedroom near my bed', I meant exactly that.)

Took me not too terribly long to track down the two pertinent blog entries on the subject where I go into the drill-style blood masters. Keep in mind that's for the blood masters as they exist in the rubyverse, not as they exist in other stories although the two are obviously closely linked. (The blood masters exist in no less than three different universes. One, Mythe, being my ripoff of Lorithia, the world of Artix Entertainment games, which is where the concept of grandmasters originated from; a second, where the urban fantasy elements originated from and actually the original story idea came from, was the origin of the characters who were imported into the Rubyverse; the third being the Rubyverse.)

But I wanted to expand upon the Guy clan style, relating to the drills. The Guy clan was always more or less the "just kinda...there" added on attachment to the Blood Masters. The founding member was a protagonist. His rival was a secondary protagonist; his main supporter that was originally unpowered before his nature as a latent blood master was discovered was also a secondary protagonist.

The dragon clan was a power that I was reusing, but while having not much of the same role in the story, was notable at least for having visible role in fights, because I had a clear, unambiguous idea of what the power was and how it worked (because it was a power I was reusing).

The seventh grandmaster was an import from a different setting technically speaking. Originally, the grandmasters were their own story (so I guess technically blood masters exist in no less than four different universes), but I decided to import them into a grander narrative (which was itself imported into the rubyverse) and that setting, Mythe, had in its "modern day" the seventh grandmaster coming in about 20 years or so after the first six, where the order of the blood masters was fairly established and no longer new, but still relatively young as an order.

I knew all of their functions quite well.

But both the Guy clan and the Gentleman clan (who I completely forgot what weapon I originally had for him; katana? rapier? Legit have no clue what I used; as far as the rubyverse is concerned it's a rapier but heck if I know what it was originally), I didn't really expand on beyond them just being there.

...The history of blood masters in my creative works is incredibly complex.
I suppose I should say it simply.
Two separate, unrelated, stories, involved blood masters, which worked similarly but differently.
One was on the microscopic scale; I was manually manipulating objects I could hold in my hand, treating them as weapons, and imagining the characters using them in a fairly medieval setting fighting both grand armies and superpowered evil blood masters. There were no other individuals in this original original setting.

The other was more on the macro scale; I was personally roleplaying as the blood master. This one was the modern urban fantasy setting. The blood masters were one of a few surviving clans in the modern days, after centuries of shadow warfare behind the scenes throughout the millenia had wiped out most other clans.

The "evil" blood masters were a main antagonist here, just like the other story, and just like the other story, they were "basically functioned as if they were vampires" (an element not found in the rubyverse mind you), capable of extending their lifespan artificially by draining the blood from others. Most blood master fights were with other blood masters, not always the evil-not-quite-vampires, either.

There was no unified blood master order in this setting; blood masters exist as a grand clan but are first and foremost individuals living their own life in that setting. They do have sets of rules, mostly for dealing with blood masters that break the rules or to bond together against threats to the masquerade (other clans, evil blood masters, etc.), but by and large existed independently from one another.

Other clans existed, but were rare, with most of them having gone extinct. One notable, thought-extinct rival clan was the shadow masters, whose powers were of equal scale and devastation to the blood masters. It is notable that this was the setting where blood master power tiers originated from.

Both settings were developed contemporary to one another. With me playing god in one and me playing the part of a character in the other--both have equal claim to being the originator of the idea of blood masters; I'm not actually sure which one came first because both came so early as to be impossible to tell. Separate, different, unique ideas.

The original grandmaster idea was then imported to Mythe. (Where the origin of the bloodmaster-vampire alliance came into being.)
Then when I imported the ideas to the rubyverse, they were combined into their rubyverse format.

But ANYWAY.
That's a bit of a tangent.
I wanted to expand on the Guy clan, the drill clan, because the screw I have was really conductive to that.

I said originally that the Guy clan focused on redirection; catching an attack and bouncing it back with extra power, basically--but I realized that in actuality, that's only the start of their powers. The spiral nature of their drill would allow for them to have one of the greatest ranged attacks of the blood masters with the highest piercing power, capable of penetrating otherwise-impenetrable targets. (Granted, they wouldn't be alone in this high-range, high-piercing power. Both stave styles would have bullet-like shots from their spears; the blood whip is incredibly long-range; the bow-and-arrow style is self-evidently ranged. However, with the exception of the dragon's blood whip, none of those are a continuous attack, whereas the Guy clan's spiral attack is continuous.)

The razor-sharp edges of their drills make for incredible slicing power as well, especially when spinning, creating a little bit of a gore-fest when they are in melee range. But I realized that they had an extra advantage; mobility and zone control almost unrivaled.

Drills being drills, they can...well...drill into objects, including the ground, to more or less achieve controlled detonations/controlled collapses/etc. Demolishing buildings, rocks, trees, tunneling under opponents, etc. Obviously, to do this over a full battlefield you need more than just one blood master (they regenerate blood at an accelerated, not unlimited, rate and drilling underground uses up a fair amount of blood), but it gives a nifty explanation for why they were out of focus in my mental image of fights between blood masters and rival armies--

They weren't very visible on the battlefield because their role was to control the battlefield in areas invisible to "my" observation point as "god" from the "sky". Certain key members like their leader? Sure, visible, fighting on the surface, but their lack of prominence in spite of their potential power now has an explanation whereas previously it did not.

I also learned that with the particular screw I am holding, the drill weapons could have an additional boost not otherwise available to them: serving as a blood-fueled rocket. (The back of the screw can be seen as a point where energy blasts out, rocketing the user forward in the direction the screw/drill is pointed.)

It'd work by channeling blood both into the drill (creating a magnified blast of wind to basically reduce resistance/drag to nil) and the 'pommel' of the drill, where the boost is--granting the Guy-style blood master limited flight if pointing upwards, as well as being able to close an incredible amount of distance in an instant, and allowing for shooting around the battlefield.

Know how in animes you have some characters who can, as fast as the eye can see, bounce back and forth (sometimes on just air)? The ones which build all that momentum, evade, and strike with incredible speed/power when they stop bouncing around? The Guy style blood masters can do exactly that. 

They can even weaponize this exhaust.
By flipping their weapon around and by grabbing the razor-sharp drill, channeling their blood into that back? (Making it function a lot like a wizard's staff.) They launch what is basically a big laser beam--not with the same pinpoint focus/penetration power as their normal attack, but with every bit the same range and with a MUCH wider beam, allowing them to mow down unprotected masses of enemies.

However, this gave me the idea for why the Guy clan isn't basically the default clan, for why they're a fairly small subsect of the total number of blood masters. Each and every single one of their non-redirection attacks? (They still have that basic ability, too, it's just that it's their basic ability, not a more advanced one.) Each and every single one of their signature moves outside of redirection.

Drilling underground.
The super-penetrating ranged drill attack.
The rocket.
The laser beam.

All of them use up blood at an accelerated rate, draining the blood master's resources faster than other styles, making their achilles' heel be the duration for which they can fight at peak efficiency. They are masters of bringing absolute sheer destruction and control to the battle, but can only provide it for a short time before being reduced to a support role, where all they can do is redirect and amplify. (Mind you, they are very efficient at this because in spite of their attacks draining blood, they are very efficient at using their blood. Or maybe it's because their powerful attacks drain so much blood that they are efficient at using blood. Same end result.)

Again explaining why they didn't have much prominence.

Feels like a really neat explanation to me, which is why I felt like making this blog post. I just kinda expanded on something that had always bugged me, and now have it at a level where I am happy with what I came up with.

Granted.

This is for something that nobody will ever get to see the light of day on.

The original grandmaster story was a generic one, which I have dozens of different similar stories to. Not dozens, actually. Hundreds. Even thousands. I'm not making it.

Mythe as a setting I kinda lost interest in beyond the one story. Plus, at least one of the very key fundamental stories to the setting of Mythe (actually, at least two), I've forgotten most/all of the details of. Fundamental parts of the setting's background/lore/backstory I've forgotten. I could work with it, but I probably won't.

These details were never relevant to the urban fantasy version of the blood masters--which, by the way, I actually wrote at least part of the story for. I even emailed it to an online friend of mine so in spite of having lost the original I could at any time pull up what I wrote and post it if I felt like it. Could continue it if I wanted. (Technically, could also do this with the relevant part of Mythe, because I did write part of the origin story of the seventh grandmaster.)

And all of this? This is canonical material in the rubyverse, sure...but is offhanded pretty much. I'm not sure any of this will even get mentioned in the rubyverse. The blog pretty much contains all my plans for what will be mentioned in red hood rider proper; Gary goes to visit a blood master in order to increase is control over his Water Rider powers. They may get brief mentions from vampires, too. That's literally it.

So pragmatically speaking.
For all intents and purposes.
What I just went into detail about, figured out, spent time extrapolating out?

Utterly, 100%, completely and entirely irrelevant and worthless. Word of God material, All There In The Manual material, but not something seen in canonical material proper in spite of being considered canon.

OH WELL.
It made me​ feel better, so that's good enough for me!