So right now, I have two desires. I really, really, REALLY want to write the "Come with me Now" round dance, with the song stuck in my head and me having workshopped a lot of the moves, both mentally and actually physically in the real world.

At the same time, there's a strong urge to work on Red Hood Rider, though. While in theory, the two don't conflict, practically, there's only so much time in the day.

Made worse by the fact that...knowing me? I'll probably do neither.

Ah, well.


I do have other things to talk about, though. Namely, my shave. I've gotten a lot of comments on it, in spite of it being a few weeks ago by now. I told the lie at least once, but mainly manage to dodge (by simply not answering at all) or deflect (by having some other topic come up) the question instead, arguably even worse than the lie, but I digress.

Mostly, the comments I get are praise about it, saying that I look five/ten years younger with it. Not exactly the comments I'd HOPE for, mind you, but pleasant to see all the same. (There's also been a fair number asking, "Is it for a girl?" Answer: "I wish.")

That being said, there were some comments that made me actually smile, because while the persons making the comments have absolutely no clue about it, they're on the right track. What did they say? That I look like my (older) sister, now. They may not be aware of it, but literally no thing they say could have been a greater compliment than that, so it was good to hear.

So I might have not finished them originally, but I did give some thought to the concept right now.

Gunmans would be speed plus power, following the "best defense is good offense" principle. They'd really not have much finesse at all.
I'm not sure which would be defense and which would be finesse, but I know I want the remaining two power slots to be between the Arbalester and the Sniper.

From there, who knows.

For the Back class, I got speed and power as the assassin, with sped and defense as the ninja. Power and finesse would be the reaper (Power for Back basically means 'lethality'), but that's about all I've got.

This game idea isn't particularly a new one. I've thrown around the concept for months upon months, but never fleshed it out beyond knowing that the game would very much not be taking itself seriously.

It'd be a flash game, where the characters would be drawn as circles, basically, with occasional exceptions. The characters would have various weapons, hats, armor, and accessories they could wear, but until today, that's about all I really knew aside from that it'd be a strategic RPG fighting game.

Today, though, I invented a vast system. Basically, to break it down, there are four class types: Melee, Magic, Range, and Back. Each type of class has four different attributes, and from a combination of two focus-attributes, you end up with seven subclasses for each class.

For Melee, you've got Speed (self-explanatory), Power (also self-explanatory), Defense (physical defense only), and Finesse (which is where all other aspects go: technique for precise hits, magical-based spellbladery, and magical defenses.)

From that, you get this--
(Note: I use 'he', but some may be girls. I'm just defaulting to male for the time being.)

Berserker: Focusing on raw attack speed and power, at the absolute expense of defense (virtually-zero) and mostly for Finesse too. (The Berserker has some finesse, but it's mainly on magical spellbladery to boost raw power, and prevent the berserker from being restrained by magic. So passives, mainly.)

Soldier: Focusing on speed and defense, this is basically a light footsoldier in an army, a general troop who therefore lacks real training in finesse and whose main strength traditionally comes from numbers, thus lacking individual power. Still, though, a soldier is a respectable foe because with the right build, they're hard to hit, when hit don't take much damage, and yet are still dealing out decent damage themselves. He would be a main character, too.

Duelist: Focusing on speed and finesse, the duelist is a very refined fighter, precise and to the point. Though utterly lacking in defense, and not having any real power to speak of (albeit still packing a nasty punch), this refined technique is deadly-accurate, delivering pinpoint attacks that dish out damage, all the while topping the soldier in evasive ability. Think "fragile speedster", and you've got this guy. His magic mainly boosts accuracy and evasion.

Knight: Focusing on power and defense, the knight is basically a tank: very, very slow, and while a trained swordsman, lacking what would be called any true sense of finesse (he has some magical attacks and magical defenses, but while these are activated abilities, they're little more than augmentation to what's already there). He more than makes up for it in his sheer raw endurance and armor, though, and he packs a mean punch. Incidentally, he is also a main character.

Warrior: Focusing on power and finesse, the warrior is a Proud Warrior Race Guy, from a long tradition of fighting. Wearing armor is an insult to his tradition, thus, defense is never a concern, and speed isn't truly valued, either. The warrior prizes sheer raw strength used in combination with good fighting skills to determine the best. Coming from such a line, his finesse is one of the broadest of the melee classes, as he has some refined techniques, some magical spellbladery, AND a fair share of natural magical resistance. He is also a main character.

Paladin: Focusing on defense and finesse, a paladin is basically a magical knight: the immense defense is augmented by magic (especially healing magic), but not without cost: they aren't as strong as a knight, and share the knight's utter lack of speed. They don't need it, though; their finesse is such that they have many magical attacks, several magical spells to defend themselves, and many of the knight's augmenting techniques.

Samurai: Equally balancing all of the attributes, the samurai is a Jack of All Trades, Master of None: While faster than knights, warriors, and paladins, their speed is only about equal to that of a soldier, yet they have lower evasion than a soldier. While their power is greater than a soldier and duelist, it's only about on par with a paladin. Though their armor is better than the berserker, warrior, and duelist, it's an even match for the soldier. And when it comes to finesse, the duelist wins for precision, the warrior wins on spellbladery, and the paladin wins on magic overall.

That being said, the samurai's stats are basically superior to almost all the others overall, especially when looking at their finesse: very precise strikes (just not as fast/precise as a duelist), with vast arrays of mystic spellbladery, and a vast natural resistance to magic. He is also a main character. (Incidentally, I'm thinking he's a Korean martial artist the characters MISTAKE for a Samurai. With undubbed Korean lines. Because it's funny.)



When it comes to Magic, you get Speed, M.def (Magical defense, natch), M.Off (Magic Attack, of course), and P.Def (Physical Defense).

Cleric: I'm a bit iffy on the name, but the cleric is focused mainly on speed and magical defense. Note that healing and such is included in magic defense, as are half the buffs for characters. Basically, their role is to be right there, to quickly keep the party alive after devastation hits. They utterly lack an aggressive bone in their body, and are highly vulnerable to physical attack, but are the first line of recovery.

Black Mage: No surprises here, they're focused on speed and magical attack; their job is to dish out damage and dish out as much damage as they can as fast as they can. Of course, they suffer bad physical penalties, and they're not exactly great in defending themselves from magic itself, but they dish out one-hit kills such that their best defense is a good offense. In short, glass cannons.

Spellcaster: The spellcaster is one of the most balanced magic-users around, whose main job it is is to dish out as many spells as possible. They fare pretty well if placed in close range, too; they are hardy, naturally resistant to physical attacks, and their ability to buff against physical attacks raises that even higher. Of course, it has a cost: the spellcaster's not the strongest with their magic attacks, and utterly lacks the training to handle better magic users attacking them with something strong. Thus, spellcasters are generally an anti-melee unit.

Wizard: The general magic user, the wizard sacrifices speed in order to deliver DEVASTATING magical attacks while holding nigh-impenetrable magical defense. Of course, this creates a Squishy Wizard, absolutely vulnerable to physical attacks, but it'd be fair to say a wizard is an anti-magic unit, dominating the field with their spells.

White Mage: Basically the ultimate defensive unit, the White Mage is similar to the cleric in that it focuses on keeping units alive. While lacking the advantage in speed, the white mage has versatility, able to buff against both physical and magical attacks, and possessing some debuffs, too. It still mainly heals, and does so with more effectiveness than its faster cleric counterparts, just not nearly as fast. It's also not exactly easy to take down. And is, incidentally, the only magical main character.

Sorcerer: The other anti-melee magic-user, who goes with raw power rather than speed. Devastating attacks reign down, with the sorcerer being second only to the wizard in sheer raw magical strength, yet also having physical toughness to boot. And the sorcerer is no slouch in the magical defense department, either! The main flaw of the sorcerer is simply the utter lack of speed, making him vulnerable until he casts his spells.

Red Mage: The jack of all trades magic-wise, the red mage has decent speed, but is bested by the cleric, black mage, and spellcaster. The red mage has great attacks, but the strength behind them is lesser than the black mage, wizard, and sorcerer counterparts. Similarly, the red mage is great at defending against magic, but both the white mage and wizard are superior, and the cleric's speed makes the cleric better too. The red mage's main advantage is in physical endurance matched only by the sorcerer, and the similarly-strong anti-melee techniques, which are great but not as good as the sorcerer, not as fast as the spellcaster, and not as defensive as the white mage. Still, the buffs, debuffs, and healing combo is great to have in such a balance.


I didn't really get around to working out the details of the other classes, though.
When it comes to ranged, I know they have speed, power, defense (which combines both physical and magical), and finesse (which is a lot of things: range, accuracy, and special magic), but didn't work out anything except their names:
Archer (a main character),
Ranger,
Bowman,
Arbalester,
Woodsman,
Sniper,
And Gunman, a main character.


Similarly, the Back class barely got touched. They use the same speed, power, defense, and finesse system, but finesse is much more important for them, covering everything from stealth, magic defense, magic attacks, and special techniques, e.g. poisoning, backstabbing.

I did get them named, though.
Assassin,
Ninja,
Rogue (the only main character from the class),
Thief,
Bandit,
Outlaw,
And Reaper.

Despite having 28 playable characters, the game would have an Arbitrary Headcount Limit of 8 per battle, with the others getting 90% of the experience and still being able to be equipped, albeit not as instantly conveniently as the 8 currently-active characters. Every character would be recruited in unique ways and have unique dialog, it's just that 8 of the characters are "main" ones, with the rest having less attention paid to them on their dialog and not as frequently being present when not in the party for cutscenes. (All 8 basically are there every time even when not present in the party, thanks to cutscene magic.)


That's about all I've got aside from a few witty banter sections.

I like the idea.

But it's been a long day and I'm tired. I just don't have the energy to write something lengthy. So all those thoughts I might have gone into are likely going to be wasted. Again. Sorry.

It sucks, but one of the main reasons I was able to get into it again was WITH the notion, "Just lower your standards. It that bad? Yeah, well lower them further."

Seemed to work well enough. Got some decent work done, albeit not nearly as much as I was hoping for.

Technically speaking, I could work on it more, but I was drained of my energy getting just this far.

But, progress is progress!

Double-shift again. Kinda (selfishly, I'll admit) makes me wish there was more reward out of it than double work hours meaning double the day, and a "thank you" card, owing to how much of a drain and how last-minute the request it was. Like...I'm being a little bit bitter and frankly a jerk right now, selfish and rude about the whole experience, even though as far as double-shifts go, this one was really, really mild. (No extreme amount of work.)

I guess it's just that working all day wasn't what I had planned, so when I was asked to, well...I wanted to say no, so badly. There would've been no consequences to me having done so. I could have instead said I could take part of it; that'd have probably gone over just as well as taking the whole thing, while leaving me with a significant part of my day to be mine.

Yet...I really didn't have a good reason to say "no", and while I'm a bitter girl right now, because my negativity is overwhelming me right now thanks to drained batteries, fact remains that overall, I'm still far more nice than I am not, so whenever I can, I do in fact volunteer to help out and offer my services willingly.

So while there was a hesitation, I did say "yes". Nothing really happened there to make me be so sour; it really is just the whole length of the day and the utter exhaustion it added up to which gets me. Because, when you factor in that I desperately needed to take a nap (and did so) after work, I basically woke up at 8 PM. The day fully gone, and not a thing but my paycheck to show for it. Not even mafia, not even a story, literally just work and sleep and food squished in-between both.

I'm sorry. I generally try not to let the more negative thoughts be my blog post content for the day. I'll rant at things going wrong all the time, but that's ranting. Letting out this brand of hostility isn't simple ranting; it's harmful thoughts given physical form, the whole "words will hurt people" thing. Ranting's fine because it's showing anger and frustration at things like, say, computer failure. But this? It's just an ugly side of my persona that I really don't like letting out in the open, yet here we are.

So again, I apologize. It largely has to do with how I was planning to spend my time today; I was actually going to draw for Red Hood Rider, but now it's not only late, but my mood to do so has been killed by the long day. I just had my energy drained. Sometimes, I really hate being me. The type of person who's smart enough to know that generosity is often a thankless job which gives nothing (to the person giving) and takes a lot (from the person giving), and yet is stupid enough to do it anyway because of some silly belief that being selfless is worth it.

I just let out a large sigh when writing this, so I think I've gotten it off my chest. Ahg, I kinda want to delete this post for just how cynical and pessimistic it is, but if anyone's read this blog, they know me well enough to know I won't do that. This is a part of me, albeit a highly undesirable piece of it, so I might as well show it off.

Meaning, waking up in the afternoon, messing around for a while before eating breakfast, movie night (gotta sorta-watch the second Avengers movie; there was some lag that kept me from enjoying the full experience), and squeezing supper in-between movies.

The second movie had to be changed to something I figured I wouldn't care for, and my family was right there about to play Insurgent, so I figured that I basically should watch Insurgent since (1) I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the other movie, and (2) it probably wasn't a movie which I would have enjoyed.

When it came to Insurgent, though, I suppose it was entertainment, but for the most part, I simply wasn't that invested in the film.

Soyeah. Decent Saturday.

...Though now my browser's stubbornly frozen up, meaning I can't actually post this.

Gotta love my computer.

And at work, I had a coworker ask why I shaved my facial hair. And this time...I...

...I lied. Granted, I was working at the time, and didn't want to deal with any potential fallout while working (so you could claim duress played a part), whereas the other chances I've had were during "down-time".

Butstill, I actively lied about why.

Okay, so technically speaking, it wasn't a lie. I told them that, "I hated it", and then elaborated, "hated the beard". A half-truth, but one which was delivered in a deliberately rather than accidentally misleading way turns it from being a half-truth into a lie if by nothing else than omission.

I'm such a coward. It really, really sickens me. I should be stronger than that, to have the courage to say the truth.

But I don't.

...So I used the time to watch the third Puella Magi Madoka Magica movie.

The only thing surprising was near the end, in which I instantly realized before it happened, "Oh, no, they're not going...oh my god, they are going...ooooooooooooooooooh boy...", and anyone who's watched the film knows exactly what moment I'm talking about.

At first I was extremely disappointed, but I waited it out, and ultimately, I think the film balances out nicely. The characters still end up mostly happy, and there's a subtext message there about our world, and again, a little about the nature of divinity. To keep things from being spoilerish, I'll have to be vague, but basically...it does reflect on the fact that for there to be good in the world, there must by definition be evil. The goal is to have there be as much happiness as there can be, but it will never be perfect.

Which is why I'm generally alright with the ending. The methods used were absolutely terrible, and the characters aren't in perfect unison, with those who were "in the know" all in some regard still having that little bit of imbalance left. So that perfection isn't there. Yet in spite of those small imperfections, in spite of the evil existing in the world, overall, there's still happiness, which makes the endeavor perhaps worth the cost, because for all that evil, an overwhelming amount of good is still there.

What it did have, though, was an interesting yet extremely awkward conversation. I'm a little disappointed, though, that the conversation didn't take the turn I was hoping it would--there was the opportunity for some talk about orientation (a coworker of mine is very openly not straight), but the conversation drifted elsewhere. Alas.

With my luck, not like I'd have been able to get involved anyway.