Recently, I've been revisiting my vampiric martial art. I'm not adding anything new to it, mind you, but I'm trying to bring back practicing it so that I don't forget it. As-is, I still have to re-teach myself and re-learn everything I self-taught when I invented it before.

But today, the thought occurred to me: I have an additional challenge--designing a second fictional martial art for the rubyverse, for HUNTERS. Specifically, the challenge is not only in making it a different style...but also, logically, because hunters oppose vampires...their style would, logically, need to serve as a counter to the vampiric martial art style.

Which poses a problem, because I designed the vampiric martial art to be basically impenetrable except by another more skilled practitioner of the vampiric martial art. It's a stance which has a firm grounding, emphasizing a lack of movement, except also having an emphasis on being incredibly flowey. Smooth, sharp, crisp, fast, deliberate, efficient, methodical, movements. Every step, every motion, every attack, every defense, using the least amount of effort but executed with the utmost speed and strength backing it.

A style high on redirection and control, but also having incredible strength backing its blows. That's more or less what I designed for the vampiric martial art--so what the hell could I develop as a martial art designed to counter it? It's posing a bit of a challenge to me, but my best guess is that it'd be a martial art style that would necessitate constant motion.

The vampiric martial art is, by and large, stationary; it can move, when needed, but is also fairly linear in said movements, because they are efficient and designed to counter opponents from the front, more or less. So the style countering it would, by necessity, focus on weak points; find a way to strike the vampire in areas the vampire doesn't have covered by their defense.

The basic fighting pose I'm thinking would be maximum utility for the hunter martial art would then be a modified version of the tae kwon do fighting stance I already use, just with extra spring to the feet and also keeping the arms low rather than up in the guard (which is, mind you, where the arms are in a different style of tae kwon do). This focus on a springy step would help maximize mobility, in helping the hunter out-maneuver the vampire.

Vampires would be stronger and even potentially faster than the human hunter, not to mention tons more durable; the hunter would need to focus on evasion above all else, and then find a way to create an opening, find an angle of attack that would work. Targeting the vampire's back is a really good one, but also striking the back of the leg or on joints like the elbow and shoulder.

Vampires might be more durable than humans, but they're not more flexible than humans. So a hunter would focus on maximizing that flexibility and taking advantage of a lack of it in the vampire; a vampire's just as vulnerable to a dislocated shoulder, broken elbow, etc. as any human would be, so strike them in areas that deal lasting damage, and you can defeat them.

There'd also be a thematic 'staking' blow, where they strike the heart, not to pierce it mind you, but to cause a heart tremor of sorts. A kind of blow that on a human could be lethal (it's a thing people die from), but on a vampire is basically a guaranteed stun if it lands perfectly. (Mind you, a stake through the heart's just as lethal to a vampire as it is a human, but this is, again, not a literal stake; it's a martial art move aimed at the heart.)

Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to develop the idea of the hunter martial art style further than that.
For me to first develop the hunter martial art, I need to have a complete, total, absolute mastery of the vampiric martial art first. And then, only then, can I maybe manage it--by more or less 'shadow fighting' (think shadow boxing, but not for a literal boxing match) it out. A skill I might not be able to actually do.

Still.

I find this a neat thing for me to have so much as started to develop, even if its growth has hit a stone wall.
​Does make me kinda sorta want to track down all of my notes on the vampiric martial art, tho. So that I can maybe once more compile it all together in a single location, to then build up on it continuously rather than start it, forget it, then start it again.

A really, really big, nice, screw which is one of my favorite imaginary weapons to play around with due to the raw potential found in the spiral shape (and, no, that's not the gurren lagann within me; I was fond of spiral-based weaponry before that show ever existed, yet alone, watched it--but after having done so, spiral-shaped weaponry became even more broken than it already was in terms of powers go for me because it went from "really, really strong" to "basically the strongest if it exists in the setting").

It actually got me thinking of it being a drill--again, not because of gurren lagann. Because the drill was the weapon of one of the seven original grandmasters of the blood masters and I imagined the screw as having the ability to cause its wielder to bleed for a power-up, leading to the obvious association. (The original drill that inspired the blood master was a drill from some childhood toy, WAY predating gurren lagann for the curious. At the time, I was expanding out the original blood master idea and turning whatever items I had on hand in my bedroom near my bed into items that could be made into being their weapons. The original grandmaster and his rival? Two different versions of the Capri Sun yellow straw. One thin, the other thick. No, seriously. When I said 'had on hand in my bedroom near my bed', I meant exactly that.)

Took me not too terribly long to track down the two pertinent blog entries on the subject where I go into the drill-style blood masters. Keep in mind that's for the blood masters as they exist in the rubyverse, not as they exist in other stories although the two are obviously closely linked. (The blood masters exist in no less than three different universes. One, Mythe, being my ripoff of Lorithia, the world of Artix Entertainment games, which is where the concept of grandmasters originated from; a second, where the urban fantasy elements originated from and actually the original story idea came from, was the origin of the characters who were imported into the Rubyverse; the third being the Rubyverse.)

But I wanted to expand upon the Guy clan style, relating to the drills. The Guy clan was always more or less the "just kinda...there" added on attachment to the Blood Masters. The founding member was a protagonist. His rival was a secondary protagonist; his main supporter that was originally unpowered before his nature as a latent blood master was discovered was also a secondary protagonist.

The dragon clan was a power that I was reusing, but while having not much of the same role in the story, was notable at least for having visible role in fights, because I had a clear, unambiguous idea of what the power was and how it worked (because it was a power I was reusing).

The seventh grandmaster was an import from a different setting technically speaking. Originally, the grandmasters were their own story (so I guess technically blood masters exist in no less than four different universes), but I decided to import them into a grander narrative (which was itself imported into the rubyverse) and that setting, Mythe, had in its "modern day" the seventh grandmaster coming in about 20 years or so after the first six, where the order of the blood masters was fairly established and no longer new, but still relatively young as an order.

I knew all of their functions quite well.

But both the Guy clan and the Gentleman clan (who I completely forgot what weapon I originally had for him; katana? rapier? Legit have no clue what I used; as far as the rubyverse is concerned it's a rapier but heck if I know what it was originally), I didn't really expand on beyond them just being there.

...The history of blood masters in my creative works is incredibly complex.
I suppose I should say it simply.
Two separate, unrelated, stories, involved blood masters, which worked similarly but differently.
One was on the microscopic scale; I was manually manipulating objects I could hold in my hand, treating them as weapons, and imagining the characters using them in a fairly medieval setting fighting both grand armies and superpowered evil blood masters. There were no other individuals in this original original setting.

The other was more on the macro scale; I was personally roleplaying as the blood master. This one was the modern urban fantasy setting. The blood masters were one of a few surviving clans in the modern days, after centuries of shadow warfare behind the scenes throughout the millenia had wiped out most other clans.

The "evil" blood masters were a main antagonist here, just like the other story, and just like the other story, they were "basically functioned as if they were vampires" (an element not found in the rubyverse mind you), capable of extending their lifespan artificially by draining the blood from others. Most blood master fights were with other blood masters, not always the evil-not-quite-vampires, either.

There was no unified blood master order in this setting; blood masters exist as a grand clan but are first and foremost individuals living their own life in that setting. They do have sets of rules, mostly for dealing with blood masters that break the rules or to bond together against threats to the masquerade (other clans, evil blood masters, etc.), but by and large existed independently from one another.

Other clans existed, but were rare, with most of them having gone extinct. One notable, thought-extinct rival clan was the shadow masters, whose powers were of equal scale and devastation to the blood masters. It is notable that this was the setting where blood master power tiers originated from.

Both settings were developed contemporary to one another. With me playing god in one and me playing the part of a character in the other--both have equal claim to being the originator of the idea of blood masters; I'm not actually sure which one came first because both came so early as to be impossible to tell. Separate, different, unique ideas.

The original grandmaster idea was then imported to Mythe. (Where the origin of the bloodmaster-vampire alliance came into being.)
Then when I imported the ideas to the rubyverse, they were combined into their rubyverse format.

But ANYWAY.
That's a bit of a tangent.
I wanted to expand on the Guy clan, the drill clan, because the screw I have was really conductive to that.

I said originally that the Guy clan focused on redirection; catching an attack and bouncing it back with extra power, basically--but I realized that in actuality, that's only the start of their powers. The spiral nature of their drill would allow for them to have one of the greatest ranged attacks of the blood masters with the highest piercing power, capable of penetrating otherwise-impenetrable targets. (Granted, they wouldn't be alone in this high-range, high-piercing power. Both stave styles would have bullet-like shots from their spears; the blood whip is incredibly long-range; the bow-and-arrow style is self-evidently ranged. However, with the exception of the dragon's blood whip, none of those are a continuous attack, whereas the Guy clan's spiral attack is continuous.)

The razor-sharp edges of their drills make for incredible slicing power as well, especially when spinning, creating a little bit of a gore-fest when they are in melee range. But I realized that they had an extra advantage; mobility and zone control almost unrivaled.

Drills being drills, they can...well...drill into objects, including the ground, to more or less achieve controlled detonations/controlled collapses/etc. Demolishing buildings, rocks, trees, tunneling under opponents, etc. Obviously, to do this over a full battlefield you need more than just one blood master (they regenerate blood at an accelerated, not unlimited, rate and drilling underground uses up a fair amount of blood), but it gives a nifty explanation for why they were out of focus in my mental image of fights between blood masters and rival armies--

They weren't very visible on the battlefield because their role was to control the battlefield in areas invisible to "my" observation point as "god" from the "sky". Certain key members like their leader? Sure, visible, fighting on the surface, but their lack of prominence in spite of their potential power now has an explanation whereas previously it did not.

I also learned that with the particular screw I am holding, the drill weapons could have an additional boost not otherwise available to them: serving as a blood-fueled rocket. (The back of the screw can be seen as a point where energy blasts out, rocketing the user forward in the direction the screw/drill is pointed.)

It'd work by channeling blood both into the drill (creating a magnified blast of wind to basically reduce resistance/drag to nil) and the 'pommel' of the drill, where the boost is--granting the Guy-style blood master limited flight if pointing upwards, as well as being able to close an incredible amount of distance in an instant, and allowing for shooting around the battlefield.

Know how in animes you have some characters who can, as fast as the eye can see, bounce back and forth (sometimes on just air)? The ones which build all that momentum, evade, and strike with incredible speed/power when they stop bouncing around? The Guy style blood masters can do exactly that. 

They can even weaponize this exhaust.
By flipping their weapon around and by grabbing the razor-sharp drill, channeling their blood into that back? (Making it function a lot like a wizard's staff.) They launch what is basically a big laser beam--not with the same pinpoint focus/penetration power as their normal attack, but with every bit the same range and with a MUCH wider beam, allowing them to mow down unprotected masses of enemies.

However, this gave me the idea for why the Guy clan isn't basically the default clan, for why they're a fairly small subsect of the total number of blood masters. Each and every single one of their non-redirection attacks? (They still have that basic ability, too, it's just that it's their basic ability, not a more advanced one.) Each and every single one of their signature moves outside of redirection.

Drilling underground.
The super-penetrating ranged drill attack.
The rocket.
The laser beam.

All of them use up blood at an accelerated rate, draining the blood master's resources faster than other styles, making their achilles' heel be the duration for which they can fight at peak efficiency. They are masters of bringing absolute sheer destruction and control to the battle, but can only provide it for a short time before being reduced to a support role, where all they can do is redirect and amplify. (Mind you, they are very efficient at this because in spite of their attacks draining blood, they are very efficient at using their blood. Or maybe it's because their powerful attacks drain so much blood that they are efficient at using blood. Same end result.)

Again explaining why they didn't have much prominence.

Feels like a really neat explanation to me, which is why I felt like making this blog post. I just kinda expanded on something that had always bugged me, and now have it at a level where I am happy with what I came up with.

Granted.

This is for something that nobody will ever get to see the light of day on.

The original grandmaster story was a generic one, which I have dozens of different similar stories to. Not dozens, actually. Hundreds. Even thousands. I'm not making it.

Mythe as a setting I kinda lost interest in beyond the one story. Plus, at least one of the very key fundamental stories to the setting of Mythe (actually, at least two), I've forgotten most/all of the details of. Fundamental parts of the setting's background/lore/backstory I've forgotten. I could work with it, but I probably won't.

These details were never relevant to the urban fantasy version of the blood masters--which, by the way, I actually wrote at least part of the story for. I even emailed it to an online friend of mine so in spite of having lost the original I could at any time pull up what I wrote and post it if I felt like it. Could continue it if I wanted. (Technically, could also do this with the relevant part of Mythe, because I did write part of the origin story of the seventh grandmaster.)

And all of this? This is canonical material in the rubyverse, sure...but is offhanded pretty much. I'm not sure any of this will even get mentioned in the rubyverse. The blog pretty much contains all my plans for what will be mentioned in red hood rider proper; Gary goes to visit a blood master in order to increase is control over his Water Rider powers. They may get brief mentions from vampires, too. That's literally it.

So pragmatically speaking.
For all intents and purposes.
What I just went into detail about, figured out, spent time extrapolating out?

Utterly, 100%, completely and entirely irrelevant and worthless. Word of God material, All There In The Manual material, but not something seen in canonical material proper in spite of being considered canon.

OH WELL.
It made me​ feel better, so that's good enough for me!

Apparently, I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today.
One which I completely forgot about.

To be fair.
I was last reminded about it on Saturday--verbally. By my mom. While I was probably doing something else. Playing league, watching a video, the likes. Where I heard her and technically processed her words but because I was doing something else the something else took priority on my thoughts and the reminder went to waste.

I never received any form of reminder from the clinic itself.
Not via email (which they usually always do?), not via phone, not via text, nothing from them at all. They didn't even call me after I didn't show up, nor send an email, nothing. Except apparently a bill. That they were sure to send. But nothing aside from it exists as evidence of the missed appointment.

Of course I didn't remember.
My only reminder came days ago, in a format which I am prone to forget five minutes later.
For a verbal reminder to have a chance to stick, I need to not be doing anything and it needs to be the day before, and even then it's only a 50% shot at it and not a guarantee.

This did spur me to double-check my work schedule, though--good thing, too, because I had completely forgotten that I work this Thursday, too. Typing out this reminder here as well as also talking to my girlfriend about it is a fairly decent way to ensure I don't forget about it, tho.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I DIDN'T KNOW I WASN'T BLOGGING.
I THOUGHT I WAS.
​IF I HAD KNOWN I WASN'T I WOULD HAVE MADE ENTRIES BUT I LEGIT THOUGHT I WAS POSTING EVERY DAY.

Granted, that's probably in large part due to not having much OF a day. I played League of Legends last night with my girlfriend for seven hours...starting after midnight. I was honestly surprised when I woke up after only six or so hours of sleep; I thought I'd get eight, but I guess my body couldn't stand being asleep that long. Oh well.

After that came breakfast and a shower, which...pretty much takes me to right now, time-wise. I don't really expect family night to generate any blog-worthy content (well, it could, it's just that I tend to be too slow on the uptake in transcribing events), so this is probably my only entry today even though it's a little lackluster.

Sorry!

Can't make five lengthy, meaty blog entries every single day. I'd love to, and yeah I sure as heck would want to, but no, it's absolutely in no way shape or form something I can actually pull off. It's subject entirely to my whims and right now I don't have that kind of creative muse within me.

Hey I never said my blog had to be once a day. If I had my way, every day would be like today with multiple, lengthy, in-depth blog entries, each one covering a new thought or expanding upon a previous existing thought. That's what I had in mind as wanting, as an objective, when I started the blog four and a half years ago. I wanted to make it be a diary of sorts, where I would get out all my thoughts of the day, unless said thoughts I deemed to private to share for whatever various reasons.

In this case, further talking about character models. I was inspired by this sketchbook entry to compile a list--probably incomplete, but everything I could really think of--of things to do without clothing/accessories entering the picture, to vary characters and also have these details stay consistent for them.

The list I came up with was a little extensive--making it intimidating to tackle.

But that means it's all the more important that I am able to nail it.

Some of them are stupidly obvious and basically don't count (hairstyle, colors, etc.). But others I feel are legitimately things that I need to work on in order to actually get my characters looking the way they need to look.

The incomplete list, "things to vary/things to keep consistent", was as follows:

Head size/base shape (circular/oval/square/etc.)
Basic structural form of the head. More rounded, more blocky, more streamlined, etc. This one you can technically write off as being something subdivided below (see below ones to get a good idea), but I think that this is a basic characteristic in of itself.

Hairstyle
The stupidly obvious one. Different hairstyles come from different characters. This is mostly a 'keep consistent' one, though, because I've been widely inconsistent with character hairstyles--mostly by virtue of having changed my mind on them; I need to lock them down.

Hair part
Could technically lump this in with hairstyle, but simply changing the part in the hair can make two previously-identical-looking drawings look like different people. If this is intentional, good; if this was accidental, bad. Keep consistent for the same characters, and experiment with changing for similar characters. 

Eyebrow shape
Subtle one which I can kinda sorta do differently for characters, but which I also kinda suck at keeping consistent for characters; I need to establish this for them.

Eye base shape/location/size
Eyes have a general location on the head, and a general shape, and the size changes with expression, but different characters have different base eye sizes/shapes, and the locations of their eyes are in slightly different spots on their head and need to stay consistent for the character.

Eye indent
Not quite sure what to call this. It's the inward curve on a face around the eye; this is an excellent spot for variety assuming I can nail it down and get it consistent.

Ear location/shape/form (lines inside; width/height)
Ears are generally in the same spot on the head, but there's details that can be changed. The exact position on the head. The exact shape of the ear. The width of the ear. How tall the ear is. Whether the ear has the connection flap to the head or not. (Some people have it, others don't.) And the various ear details inside the ear which are important but which are widely inconsistent in my drawings.

Nose shape/location/size
Again, noses are generally in the same region, but the exact spot they are in can vary, but needs to be consistent. The shape of noses varies, and so too does the size. Noses are a very easy detail to master, and yet they're a detail that I basically just wing it every single time I do a drawing; I slap one on randomly and hope it's right. I need to put thought into them.

Mouth location/base shape
General region of the mouth in reference mostly to the chin and nose; how far up or down it is from them, basically. Also how 'big' their mouth is. Mouths are not all the same size. This is something usually associated with the jaw itself, but isn't inherently the same thing. You can have a big jaw with a small mouth (many 'deformed' characters, e.g. lots of One Piece characters, have this aesthetic), or a small jaw with a big mouth (again, many deformed characters have this aesthetic to them).

In art, this mostly manifests as how big a smile/frown/neutral face/etc. they make, and where it is. It's a small detail, but it needs to be consistent. For female characters, this also controls the size/shape of their lips, a detail that I kinda suck at drawing because I kinda suck at drawing lips.

Cheek/jaw shape/form/angle/etc.
This one is pretty self-explanatory and is one of THE biggest details to establish.
Big difference between jaws of
O
V
O
U
O
|_|

Where O is the top half of the head and the other shapes are various different chin shapes (pointed, rounded, square, being the most common three I can think of and what I was approximating above). These variances in chin/jaw shapes and length can be subtle, but they need to be deliberate above all else. It's one of the biggest details to establish.


Those, just for the face.
I continued down further than just that.
---
Neck-head connection
People have different thickness necks, and these necks have different head connections. This is a detail I can sometimes be good at differentiating between, but usually suck at keeping consistent.

Shoulder width
I usually just use loose estimates where I know guys have twice head width and eyeball it, and girls are slightly more slender than that and eyeball it, but while this is a good guideline, shoulder width isn't universal for all guys and all girls, so this is a detail I should be introducing slight variances in.

Arm connection
That is, the armpit area; not quite sure if this is something that varies, but it's definitely something of an artistic weakpoint and I need to get more consistent at it even if not more variable in it.

Arm length (subdivide forearm length; base hand length)
Pretty self-explanatory. We like to think that arms are all equally proportioned, but they're not. My limbs I know are disproportionately longer, with my torso comparatively smaller. This is, admittedly, not something I want to mess with much, but a little deliberate variation would be nice...and it's something that seriously could use consistency even if I never vary it between characters. Keeping the character with the same-proportioned arm's more important.

Arm tone/definition (musculature)
I kinda suck at drawing muscles which might be one of the reasons I tend to like to draw characters who lack visible ones (girls and effeminate guys). Still, for those who have muscles, I need to be consistent about them.

Shoulder ridges
They have a name but I forgot it. Collars? The two boney protrusions on your front. They can be different thicknesses, lengths, and locations (both in reference to one another with how far apart they are and how down from the shoulders they are), but this needs to be kept consistent, and it's something which isn't right now.

Torso shape/width
And also height, but that's a given. Pretty self-explanatory. Not all torsos are exactly the same in their (lack of) curves. I have basically zero consistency here, when I know I need it.

Breast size
For the characters that have them, of course. I have some general references as guidelines for some characters. Off the top of my head, I know that Aria is quite well-endowed--not extreme anime boobs levels of endowed, but she has the largest chest of any of my frequently drawn female characters. My best reference for this is actually fanart I got of her as part of a Christmas exchange program. That's actually legitimately about how well-endowed she is (maybe ever so slightly smaller), which is to say quite large but not boing-boing-boing-bouncing levels stereotypically seen in anime.

However. Critically. She is the only character of mine to be that well-endowed; while others might have large breasts, if I draw any who have measurements rivaling hers, then I am drawing them off-model because they're supposed to have smaller breasts than she does.

Breasts are usually another of those things I draw mostly by feel, mostly by instinct, of what feels appropriate to draw--and that's not something that leads to artistic growth because it leads to most female cast members having about the same near-universal measurements, measurements that change according to my art rather than according to the character as they should.

Hip shape/width
Wait we were blogging about something? I heard the word breasts and got a little distracted.
*ahem*
Hips are similar to torsos and shoulders in terms of needing variance. I kind-of have trouble making girl's hips be large enough (I consistently make them too small even when I deliberately try to exaggerate them), but in general I could use a lot of consistency here, and yet also a lot of variance because hip sizes are one of the main things that people use to vary character designs especially in females. There's whole TROPES devoted to different hips, which ties into their relationship with the torso.

Leg length (subdivide thigh/shin length; base foot length)
Same as with arm length; I basically said everything there that applies here.

Leg tone/definition (musculature)
Ditto this; same thing applies to leg tone/definition as does arm tone/definition. Mind you, as arm length and leg length are separate (you can have short arms and long legs, or vice-versa), so too are these different; you can have ridiculously muscular legs and scrawny arms, or vice-versa.


Then there were a few miscellaneous considerations.
---
Height
Obvious one, which ties into proportions, of leg length/torso height/head shape/etc.

Basic proportions (limbs/etc. disproportionately big/small)
Kinda sorta covered above, but if a character has a significant part from the "generic"/"standard" design, this departure needs to itself be kept consistent.

Basic skin color
Obvious thing to track is obvious. And I do...except my notes are computer-specific quite often meaning that I've long-since lost my exact RGB combos for basically every single character I've ever drawn. I'd need to manually recreate them, and my recreations wouldn't be exact and would only be "eh, close enough".

Eye color(s)
Obvious thing is obvious; see above for skin color, and you get this, too.
​
Hair color(s)
Again, obvious thing is obvious; again, see above for skin color and you get this too.

Body Markings
Scars, tattoos, the like. These are separate from accessories such as rings and such, because these are things that can't be removed. I suppose things that are part of the body, like extra limbs (say, horns/wings) would also count as being in this category, but these are things that I have sometimes overused and which I need to scale back on using only when it actually makes sense to be used.

For instance, Aria might have scarring from her ill-fated fight; Sasha living her life definitely has scarring; Tyra and Sinaer both went through experiences that would leave scars; Sally might have gone through an experience leaving a scar; Vili as a seasoned street fighter might have scars somewhere.

But those are about it as far as female characters I draw frequently go--and each of these should be in locations that make sense rather than just being randomly tacked on in "heroic" locations as has been what I've done in the past. I need to work out what their original injury/injuries are/were and from that, figure out what would be left behind, and then consistently show it the entire time.

Anyway.

I think that's about it for blogs from me for today.

Both because I'm running out of time (11:15 pm, and once past midnight, blogs wouldn't archive properly), and because getting this all out has helped me a lot.

Mind you.

Still doesn't make the art.

But this is what I'd need to do​ to make the art.
Art is hard.
Look at that probably-incomplete list of variables I need to track, and imagine applying it across every single pose from every single camera angle they will ever appear in, and now you have an idea of the sort of workload I'm setting out to need accomplished.

For every single character.

You might think that this is overthinking things. That me just winging it is fine, that I do well enough without paying attention to all of these levels--and that's true. I do okay by not tracking these things. But if I want to take my art to the next level, which I do, then these things are a necessity. They are NOT optional to take my art to that level; they are a prerequisite.

I guarantee you, every artist who gets as good as I'm aiming for in some way shape or form can manage this. They might not have neat character sheets, but they still have character references and even if they don't? That's because they've spent years drawing the characters and can do them from memory and still get them "on-model" for the most part.

Take, for instance, Dan Shive; he's had well over seventeen years of drawing almost every single day in terms of experience; he was drawing characters for EGS years before EGS even started and again, EGS started seventeen years ago. And like I said--he did those drawings? Almost. every. single. day.

Whereas me?

I draw one character every six months or so, on average.

One character, not multiple. Every few months, if I'm feeling particularly artsy and active.

There's no shortcut. There's no easy way to get to doing art well. Yes, I get better at doing art when I take long breaks from doing art somehow. I don't know how that works, but it does. Yes that's a thing...but there's limits to that growth. That growth is random, can't be controlled, and is something sporadic at best.

There's no way to become a good artist without time and effort.

And building those character sheets tracking all the data I mentioned?

Best way to get that time and effort in. It is the only way I will ever get to that level, because it's the only way anyone ever really could. By drawing, establishing rules, establishing guidelines, and practicing those drawings with those rules and those guidelines.

Soyeah. Still am not improving in my art just by thinking this out...but by verbalizing it, by having it spoken and a set list of "I need to do this, this, this, and this", it gives me an idea of what I need to do in order to accomplish that improvement.

Which feels good to get out of my system, and slightly satisfies the artist within me.
She'd be more happy if I made this a reality, but she'll have to settle for me having laid out the process by which I could ever possibly make it one.

Not exactly art, per se, although you could theoretically tie this in to art.
I have figured out how to make rudimentary edits to pcx files for my civ 3 mod. So far, the only one I've made is for the luxuries to in the city display screen (basically it involved exporting the existing one, making the changes to the existing one, then importing it back in, after I got the icons in the appropriate order), more or less display correctly (minor magenta pixels may display, but eh, close enough), but on my to-do list is to tackle getting buildings to display as they should...a task I have a feeling I know what will entail, but...*shudder*...it's going to be hell to get it to work right.

I've implemented literally every building except for the government-specific buildings, and have implemented the governments kinda sorta. Haven't had the game crash on me simply by having the governments exist, but that doesn't mean they work right. I still need to work out the exact balancing scheme for them; I've more or less outlined a general idea of a plan for them, but it is something that self-evidently needs tweaking.

Basically, Despotism (starting government of Persia, Goths, Celts, and Egypt) is the base government; I raised unit support from 4 to 6 for all, and this is the "universal +2 buff" that I applied to all other civs. I also raised Draft and Military Police to 3 each. (On my to-do list is to check governments' stats in full for all other scenarios.)

Monarchy became 4/6/12 with draft/military at 3/4 and was otherwise left alone.

Communism was raised to be 8/8/8, draft/military 3/5, with elite spies and was otherwise left alone--might need to buff Communism further, though, to give it the edge over tribal council (see below).

Republic's one I go back and forth on. War weariness is something I'm iffy on, but for now is set on Low. Cost/unit could be debilitating at its default 2, but for now I've left that alone. 3/5/6 is their unit support, with draft/military at 2/1; I'm not sure if that's appropriate in a scenario where you're generating a bajillion units to support and if playing one of the four warpowers, are locked in a war. The buff to veteran diplomats seems paltry compensation for this. (That said, Republic was given literally the best government-specific buildings, sooooooooo...)

Democracy given the scenario properties wouldn't be viable with high war weariness, so I set it to low. Their stats are similar to a republic, with 1/1/1 unit support per city (worse), and 2/1 draft/military and Elite diplomats. My concern is that this makes Democracy a worse Republic, even though Democracy has the worker rate bonus over Republic. Might need to buff the worker rate, or do something there.

Fascism I more or less buffed what was already there; 8/14/20 unit support, 4/6 draft/military police, veteran spies/diplomats, but keeping the drawbacks of the government.

Feudalism I tried hybridizing the game's default with the Shogun's-basically-better-Monarchy version of. Paid labor, no war weariness, trade bonus, no tile penalty, 6/8/10 unit support, draft/military set at a higher 5/6 (as a draw to the government), corruption/waste at problematic, but keeping the 3 upkeep cost of units. Plus veteran spies. Not quite sure if the hybrid works out as intended, but I think I'm on the right track.

Tribal Council right now is a better Communism it feels like, with free unit support, communal corruption, no war weariness, forced labor, 3/4 draft/military police, and elite spies/diplomats. This is where I want the government to be, so I'm not nerfing this; what needs to happen is buffs elsewhere in relation to this. I set it as the government for the Mongols, who need that free unit support to compensate for starting with basically no cities but having a ton of settlers ready to settle. (Well, migrants.)

Oligarchy I saw as being "similar to Monarchy"; nuisance not problematic corruption, forced not paid labor, 3/4 draft/military, and 3/5/11 unit support. I see this as approximately fair, though maybe it needs to be 4/6/12. It's meant to be close to normal Monarchy regardless. It's the government I set for Rome, Carthage, and Greece. (Persia not being one as in Rise is for balance reasons; Despotism being a worse government counterbalances the fact that Persia starts with a freakin' empire. Granted, it only takes Persia one turn to switch governments, butstill.)

Imperialism I hybridized the Rise/Fall versions of in some aspects, with high preferential treatment to the Rise version. Corruption at nuisance, unit support cost of 0 (effectively free, but handled differently), worker rate 4 (same as Fascism; most governments are 2, with Democracy at 3), draft/military 4/4, paid labor, unit support (not that it's relevant) 4/6/10, no war weariness, elite diplomats/spies.

Blood Cult, I learned, from the game has a unique trait: not requiring maintenance. (Well, Anarchy has that, but that doesn't count.) This INSTANTLY became my focus for the government, but I kept it well-rounded in other aspects as well. Removed the tile penalty (which I realize means Despotism's the only government with it and I am okay with that), no war weariness, forced labor, veteran diplomats, elite spies (this is straight out of the game mind you), 10/10/10 unit support (this is out of the game as well, just with the +2 bonus), 3/3 draft/military police, problematic corruption.

Protestant Monarchy is currently "maybe a worse Democracy", so might need a buff. Minimal corruption/waste, 2/2 draft/military support, trade bonus, worker rate 3, paid labor, no war weariness, 3/4/6 unit support. Seems to be comparable, but again, Democracy might need a buff.

So governments are loosely in.
Buildings, aside from governments (and unit generation, as in most cases, the units they're meant to generate aren't in the game yet), are in.
Resources I fixed to be in as they're meant to be.
Still need to implement Wonders (a little bit more of an undertaking than buildings) and units, and I'm midway through adding some of the buildings that I want cities to start with (this is something that I'll need to test out by playtesting and playtesting and playtesting).

I also need to tweak stuff like starting gold of civs; I had a rough idea of how much gold I wanted each to start with, and need to actually implement it.

So the scenario's progressing nicely. Lags like hell at every stage (seriously, it almost crashes every single time I try to launch the scenario) so frankly, once again, might be utterly unplayable; has way too many resources on the map for each civ (I could make do with literally half as many, and my playstyle of denying my opponents key strategic resources is nigh-impossible even though this means that the second half of my playstyle involving not being denied strategic resources is equally as super-viable) and just a lot of things that I executed imperfectly, but perfection is the enemy of good.

I do keep questioning myself, wondering what the scenario would be like if I made it perfectly rather than the hot mess I'm building, but oh well. I'm still making it, albeit not constantly. Just when it fancies me.

I did do a side-project for a while; a tweaked Middle Ages scenario. Played it twice through, once as the Kievans (a bit of a test-run, that; managed to trigger both the domination and VP wincons the same turn though it was effort to get the domination to trigger because I had to propaganda-steal a ton of cities and make some ill-advised conquests of enemy cities that left my own cities vulnerable but so worth it), then as the Abbasids.

Was quite fun. The exact list of changes is a little more extensive than I would've originally made, but I kept the heart and soul, the core, of the scenario the same. No new units/buildings, just modifying existing ones to fix some annoyances.

With no score-tracking, though, twice was enough for that.

Soyeah. On the gaming front, while I've largely not been talking about it, I did make progress there.

It's not the thing I want to focus on, mind you (and I can only work on it for so long before wanting to do...well, more than just that), but I feel like I'm making significant progress all the same.

​If only I could make that same progress in my art.

Mostly just to remember things I was annoyed I couldn't, such as RIN's name being Rin. (I vaguely recalled her last name, but couldn't quite pin it down as being Takeyami. As a reminder, I wasn't really looking for a real Japanese surname when naming her and while I'd find it neat if Takeyami was a real surname, the trope "As Long As It Sounds Foreign" applies; it sounds Japanese, and the syllable combination was something I found neat, so I wanted it to be her surname accuracy be damned.)

Turns out there were a couple of female characters I had forgotten about, albeit both of them being side-characters. (Herald's sister, and a character who is either born through magic or born well after the series ends; I honestly don't remember which of the two it was. I know it's the former if during the series because one of the parents is too young and both of the parents involved are too responsible to allow for a teen pregnancy, but these are two characters who I can see past-me having canonically paired up by the time of the epilogue and have them have had a daughter by then.)

Mostly, I was right in my knowledge of my own characters, including correctly remembering Gary's surname as being Cross. (The reason there was doubt about that is that the character I made for a roleplay had the surname Cross, and I was wondering if I was just thinking of their surname when trying to remember Gary's, but nope, I had it right. Apparently I think Cross is a good surname for a guy.)

There were a lot of plots referenced which I had forgotten about, too, though a fair number of them I remembered.

My notes are a chaotic mess, over a hundred pages that includes background rubyverse knowledge, random snippets from scripts, outlines loose plot event locations...kinda difficult to follow, but that's to be expected.

​This has only increased the amount I want to do art, dangit.

Basically, what I want to do is a DRAWING version of this:

These were made in QAVimator, which is my quick and easy go-to 3D-posing program to get appropriate anatomy/proportions for a given pose, particularly one which is from an unusual art angle (or even a usual one, if it's one I don't do--directly facing forward is a really awkward angle to draw, so usually I don't).

And then obviously screencapped into MSPaint, where I did the edits shown. This is the female cast of The Descended, and half of the female cast of Red Hood Rider. (Absent: Hannah, Ana, Vili, Amy, and Ruby's Love Interest which embarrassingly enough I can't remember the name of. Technically also one of Ruby's rogues.)

Apparently, the average height of women in the US is 5'4", so even characters that are meant to be short (e.g. Sasha) aren't actually that short. (To be fair, Sasha is an adventurer, and canonically, as part of the world of Soano, adventurers are taller than the average person of their race. So while Sasha comes from a race which is short, she is taller than most of her race because of it. A similar "because, magic" explanation might work for why the elemental riders are fairly tall, too, though this is something I haven't established as canon to my knowledge.)

But anyway.
What I'd want to do, is basically to make a drawing of this (maybe with ruler height lines), but to vary the poses to the characters in question (particularly tricky for Aria, given that she's almost always flying, and half the time is ghosting out so she's not only levitating but actually has a tilt to her body). To instead of being the exact same pose, for each and every one of them to have body language appropriate to their character.

And instead of each of them having the exact same generic face of the program, for them to have character models from which they are detailed. (Aria, for instance, due to being a ghost, has a disproportionately large head and small legs/arms, with big eyes. Sinaer, Tyra, and Sally are all notably/particularly muscular, so should have muscle definition the other characters lack.)

Plus, I need to practice their outfits for the most part. Aria's outfit I've changed multiple times, though I've settled on a look that I want to keep canonical. (Technically, there's an earlyish spot in the plot where her switching to that look would be best, but I just honestly don't want to draw her the other way even if she'd be carrying the look I want for the vast majority of the story; it'd still be like 80-120ish pages of drawing her the "wrong" way.)

Sasha's outfit was incredibly ornate when I made her, and I loved it...until I realized I had to draw it each and every single time I'd have her appear. As a result, it is an outfit in need of some simplification, and also a check on whether it fits pragmatically and is in character for her to have given her background.

Tyra and Sinaer wear similar outfits, but they are in need of some redesigns and touch-ups to make them feel more appropriate for the characters' backgrounds.

Ruby's outfit I more or less have down, but I discovered a bad habit of mine in having drawn her. Her hoodie is designed with a zipper running down the middle, so she can theoretically unzip her hoodie--except as of late, I've drawn part of her hoodie above the zipper as being connected, which would make a complete part of the hoodie impossible. Even in my latest drawing of her, you can see this bad habit of mine and that was when the "...whoooops" realization sunk in.

Sally's outfit I never quite locked down to the degree I wanted it to be locked down. I know the general aesthetic of it (more or less a sailor fuku outfit; Sally is after all short for, if I recall correctly, White Sailor although I may be misremembering and would have to track down my notes for her full superhero name), but I don't have it locked down to the same degree as Ruby's.

D.D.'s outfit is...incredibly...complicated. Her aesthetic is meant to be equal parts princess (which is part of her full superhero name, after all), and in spite of that, being incredibly pragmatic for hard, strong, powerful, melee punches and the like. A look that on first perception looks like a frilly magical girl that's a mage, but which is deceptive, hiding the destructive power of the combatant.

(I was revisiting a Red Hood Rider storyline on this subject recently, actually, believe it or not. The short version of it is, more or less: Ruby uses the more physical rider aspect of her powers rather than her elemental half because she doesn't like relying on her vampiric nature; Sally has a bunch of reasons for using the more physical rider aspect of her powers rather than the elemental half, among them being that her combat style focuses on mobility whereas most earth-based powers are grounded, focus on zone of control, and keep the user stationary while also rooting the opponent down, the antithesis of her style.

But for D.D., her preference to use more physical rider aspects of her powers are out of necessity. Riders can maim, within reason, but can't kill; fire is the only element of the eight that is self-sustaining and can grow out of control; most opponents can't survive being bathed in flames and the few who can are usually completely immune to fire and thus amping fire up doesn't help her win a fight against them.)

Whitney's outfit is one I actually have crystal clarity on what it looks like. It's mostly a power rangers outfit, except while the helmet is still there, the entire face is mostly exposed; her mouth's covered by a Kakashi-styled...would it be called a bandanna?...and she has a visor over her eyes that is slightly opaque, and the helmet covers her forehead (although faintly showing a bandanna), but allows her hair out the back. (Keep in mind that Whitney's superhero name is Sky Shinobi. The aesthetic is intentional.)

It's something I know will look amazing if I can draw it, but I know that it's a look I'll probably end up butchering without having first extensively practiced.

Case in point...the last time I tried.

I actually have that image. It's this one:

I didn't call it "badly done" for nuthin'. Everything here is abysmally done except for Ruby which is still not as great as she should be done. It was also stealing from a K-ON image I created. You know, this one:

And, no, this is not a very accurate depiction of any of the characters. Not a one is even remotely close to how I see them in my head. I stole from an image I made using a program, and still didn't get it looking the way that I wanted to get it looking in spite of the plagiarism. I'm that bad at drawing my own characters.

Gives at least a reasonably accurate color scheme for them (Ana's fairly pale, has the mily eyes, black hair, wears fairly plain clothes; Hannah's transformed form has really long blonde hair and the green is her color; Sally is canonically ambiguously brown, has brown eyes and black hair, and her outfit is pretty standard sailor fuku fair, Ruby you know the look of by now, Whitney's not a monochromatic single shade of blue and has numerous shades from dark blue to cyan and her hair while blonde is not as radiantly blonde as Hannah's, D.D.'s slightly tanned and her outfit is primarily pink though her hair's not right, Vili's outfit involves purple clothing, and Amy's pale with black hair and red eyes as is a common vampire aesthetic).

But is so...off, in so many ways, that it gives all the wrong impressions about how they look. It's arguably not even "better than nothing", because nothing allows for you to get the look more accurate than this would, aside from the aforementioned colors being fairly good references.

Still.

I am going somewhere with this. If you combine the accurate height reference of the QAVimator. With the personalized looks of unique body language and accurate, consistently handled, bodies. And add in their preferred clothing. You get what I am aiming for.

This is the sort of creative art project that I want to undertake, it's just managing to do it.

​Difficult, even when given I have located a backup of my Red Hood Rider notes. (Not the most up-to-date version of said notes, mind you, but a version I can readily and easily access.)

A fair amount of that comes from reading through the EGS sketchbook entries (while I bingeread all of EGS in four days, it took me about a week to get up to date on EGS:NP and I'm obviously still working on getting through the sketchbook), because of the obvious.

When you're seeing the drawings and reading the thought process of an established, relatively-accomplished artist (it's not just that he's been doing it for 17 years, it's also that he has gotten remarkably competent and continues across the years to get better in spite of having gotten good years ago; early 2002-era art might be slightly cringe, but he improved to have a stunning style that got better and better and still occasionally makes leaps and bounds in quality albeit so subtly so that you only really notice by comparing the current stuff to older stuff).

And you, yourself, are a similar-mindset artist with a similar pop culture knowledge basis. (There's a lot of things which make it evident I think a lot like he does, which I suspect is autistic tendencies. For instance, his author notes are tremendously detailed, a trend I am infamous for. He has a few gaps in his pop culture knowledge and I know I do, while he also knows some obscure material in a similar way to how I do, and lots of stuff like that.)

It's really just the inevitable consequence.

When you see a guy who is by every metric an objective success, who has managed to succeed at something like that for so long. Of course you want to get art going of your own. Even though there are so many obstacles in my way. My scanner is still not working, and I think my dad's given up hope of making it work. And my burns haven't fully healed yet and drawing puts them at risk.

Then there are of course the various other blocks, mostly mental. There is the concern that because I know my art is a "me" thing, that I fully intend to never make money off of (basically, it's a combination of three factors; my art is largely cheating by using multiple reference images heavily rather than partially/occasionally so I'd feel like I was plagiarizing; I don't feel like I deserve to make money off of my art; my art is art and when I share it with others I want to share it with the world for all to appreciate, and making money detracts from that), that people will see it as a waste of time.

Art is, while a bit of a personal enlightenment thing, pragmatically speaking, absolutely worthless. Aside from occasionally being useful for expressing myself in a way to feel like my femininity is strong, it does nothing to get me closer to transitioning. It doesn't make me money. It doesn't prepare me to leave the house. It doesn't get me closer to my girlfriend. It doesn't do anything for me. Art is just basically the same as any other thing, like reading, watching, or playing; it is personal gratification without tangible results.

Well, there's the drawings as tangible evidence that I spent time on the task, but I can't point to a drawing and say, "this drawing is productive!", because it's not. I draw because I want to draw. Not because I want to make something from the drawing, accomplish some grander goal with the drawing.

There is the mental block of always thinking I'm not good enough--that I'm a hack. That I don't deserve to succeed with my art, because I am genuinely a cheater. (See also, my feelings that I'm a plagiarist, via me heavily using reference images, sometimes even directly sketching from them, which is as rip-off as ripping off gets.)

There is the mental block of not being able to bring my vision perfectly to life. I'll have a vision in mind and be unable to well and truly bring it to life as I had intended it to be.

There is the mental block of being able to tell something is off, but not being able to identify what--or if I can identify it, not being able to fix it.

And there is the mental block of feeling like I don't really know what I'm doing--and not unjustifiably so. There are often "gaps" in my vision. I'll have a vision of what I want to do, but gaps in how to execute it, because I couldn't figure out all the details. It happens all the time in stories; I'll see point A, point B, and point C, but not how to get from A to B to C. When I try to make those paths, errors exist.

Plus there's my constant revisionistic tendencies. The fact that I have twice remade the signature scene of Ruby saying "Hello" should be a tip-off to that. At least two and a half times, I've revised The Descended, and if I worked on it again, I'd be revising it another time even though I know I should just keep going on it.

Heck.

There's even the urge to redo the poorly done bits of Red Hood Rider...even knowing that I'm likely not able to do them better than what I did.

I constantly make excuses, too, every step of the way, to delay making art. If I can think of a reason not to make it, I will end up not making it. Yet I still want to.

One of the things which I want to make, now, is a character height reference guide for my female cast of both The Descended and Red Hood Rider.

The Descended neatly recorded the heights of characters.
Red Hood Rider, I sketched an image with about half of them--but unfortunately, not the other half, which I'm not sure there's any recording of.

One thing I keep seeing Dan mention for EGS in various places as I read the sketchbook mainly is a desire to create character models for the characters--variety in facial structure, but consistency for characters. I really, really want to do that for my characters, even though I know it will take a lot of time and effort to get done right.

There's also a bunch of things that are specific to webcomic format that I want to revisit. My skills in sketchbook art have continued to rise throughout the years. In a sketchbook, I've gotten better and better and better each and every time I've been drawing art.

But webcomics have rules (well, guidelines) for structure, and these are rules that I have more or less forgotten the details about. The 3x3 grid, flow from one panel to another, proper method to style a word bubble (there is a right way to do word bubbles and half a dozen wrong ways; I forget what the right way is) and by extension the text within, maximum dialog in a panel, how much space between panels, page/panel layout optimization, and so on and so forth.

If I do get back into making a webcomic rather than just sketching.

These, and so much more, are skills I need to have down. Mastered. To pull off a comic with some semblance of competency. Yet I've forgotten all my knowledge there, and I don't know how exactly other than meticulous, painful, trial and error, to regain it.

Also, while there are some things that I can go without mastering (screw backgrounds, I'll do the bare minimum necessary to convey the idea of the location and a basic idea of the layout of where people are, but beyond that I'll leave it to readers to fill in the gaps), there are others which I never mastered that I need to (such as lighting).

I am an artist, dangit.
I know I don't look like one anymore.
I know I am a failure of an artist.
I know I'm not particularly a unique artist.
But that doesn't change that the artist within me is very much alive and that she wants out badly. She wants to create. She wants to share her visions with the world. So many ideas of mine have been lost forever because I didn't let her draw what she saw.

But I want to.

Art is in my soul.
The artist that I am may not show the quality which I theoretically could be capable of. (I know that theoretically if you combine all of my strengths in all of my artistic works I'm an amazing artist, but that's an "IF" that's never to be because it involves combining all of the strengths with none of the weaknesses, when I can never combine any of my strengths.)
I'm not a good artist, even if I theoretically had at some point the potential to be one.

But no matter how much I don't look like one.
I am an artist.

And it's maddening​ that I can't create what I want to.