I MIGHT be sick.

Sickness does many things, sapping strength among them making me super duper tired.

So, just going to try and sleep it off, take a nice long shower tomorrow to hopefully also help.

​We'll have to see.

I don't know.
I may not be getting the requisite sleep tonight (never do, it's always about six hours but usually falls short by some unspecific generic amount), but I have been getting enough.

And I've been taking my vitamins.

And yet.

I am just.

Not being awake.

​What the hell is wrong with me.

I've been getting eight hours of sleep.
I've been taking my vitamins.

For a while.
That looked like I was getting better, that I was finally fighting the fatigue, no longer tired, that I was getting my energy back and could make use of it with me not losing mental faculties.

Except.

Now, it's not that way.

Earlier today I just crashed at like 4 pm in spite of having absolutely no reason to.

And I am crashing again right now.

I just...don't know what my problem is.

Why am I so tired.
Why in spite of getting the amount of sleep that I need.
Am I getting so tired?

Is the quality of sleep just that poor?
Possible, since I'm sleeping out in the living room with the dog.
Butstill.
​It SUCKS.

I wanted to stay up longer and do more stuff.
I want to do more.
I want to.
I really really want to.

But I've been up for 22 hours.

I'm just...too tired.

I can't stay up any longer.

​I'm at my limit here.

Between tae kwon do and then after it work (yes you read that order right), I get up at five and get home at like 3:30 at the earliest, and then have dance after that. (I'm going to miss most of the D1 rift rivals matches. Sadface.)

I'd like to also once more reiterate that teamfight tactics is incredibly addictive and can sometimes consume your life especially in search of that mystical first-place finish. I ended up finally ending on a high note allowing me to do other things, but it took some effort and an incredible amount of luck. 

Basically, you start the game with 100 HP.
While I didn't try to lose, I also didn't try to win...so got a very very solid losing streak going. (Which to be fair, is a valid economic strategy especially with the carousel comeback mechanic where last place gets first pick.) Except once I did start to win...I still was losing. With one lucky carousel pickup which I only barely managed to get, and with the others not valuing spatulas when I knew that was the item I needed to get, and with just the right enough items to begin to get a fed team comp, and just the right rolls...

...At five HP, I started winning again.

And winning.

And winning.

I had 5 HP with 8 people alive, dead last place. I permanently got first pick on the carousel because nobody was lower than me in HP--except my team comp was ridiculously good. Runaan's on Aurelian Sol (not sure how effective that was), Phantom Dancer on Aurelian Sol (mostly an anti-assassin measure; not sure it did any good beyond that), and three items on Nidalee (bloodthirster, rageblade, and that yellow sword item which gives crits) and getting plenty of my units to T2 and a T3 Nidalee gave me a win where I took down players that had over 50 HP and plenty of time to change/perfect their team comp.

To be fair.

A bad RNG and I'd have been screwed. The game, even after all team comps are finalized and there's no minion waves to get items from and there's no carousel to be had for too long. Just from fight to fight. Relies on RNG a lot. You can fight the same person twice with neither of you changing a thing. No upgrades, no swaps, no changed positioning, nothing different at all. And get two different outcomes to the fight.

But fortunately I didn't get a bad RNG matchup and won every match, even though some were down to my last unit. Down to my last unit, where one hit from anything would kill me instantly.

I pulled it off and was like, "Well. Nothing's gonna top that today." And decided I'd better end it on a high note right then and there.

And hoh boy is it addicting.

I've found a bit of a winning combo; my usual go-to, if it is allowed, is Aurelian Sol-Shyvana-Gnar-Nidalee-Ahri-Warwick-Cho'gath-Kassadin-Kha'ziz. Wild 4, Dragon 2, Shapeshifter 3, Void 3, Sorcerer 3.

I do diverge when I get different combos, but that basic format is the winning combo for me.

...But I kinda want to go to bed now.
I'll say them when I can I guess.

I received an email notification that the tumblr for The Descended had its six-year birthday yesterday.
Mind you.
I never figured out how to actually USE that tumblr.
The idea was to have it be a mirror to the main site, but I couldn't figure out how to do literally ANYTHING. Like, there was no real way for me to navigate and do anything, it was INCREDIBLY user-unfriendly and I just couldn't do anything with it whatsoever.

Butstill.

That means.
Six years ago, to yesterday's date.
Was the date that I started to take The Descended seriously.

June, around the 23rd but the 22nd (I knew it was either June or July, I liked to pretend it was July 23rd to give meaning to my birthday beyond "I'm one year older", but this email notification proves it was June not July, but OH WELL I CAN STILL PRETEND ANYWAY).

Six years ago.

Marked the date that I started to try in it.

And my god does that fill me with regrets.

Six years.
Six. years.
I started taking webcomics seriously six years ago.
And yet look at me now.

I'm kinda just...a washout.

I probably would've had more to say about the subject yesterday had I not been distracted.
​But this is what I've got to say for today.

And I know that typing this out is cutting into my already-technically-below-six hours of sleep.
And I know that this'll force me to type out an entry tomorrow before midnight, because this is an entry for the 22nd past midnight when my prior entry was before midnight so if I changed the date of the blog it wouldn't archive correctly forcing me to leave it as the 23rd even though for all intents and purposes this is a second entry for the 22nd.

And I know that I am sick and should be asleep.
And I know that this'll mean the last thing I see before sleeping will be the unhealthy light of the computer (when before this whim hit me I HAD done a bit of a pre-bed digital detox which prevents that).

But dangit.

This is not a blog I'll remember by the time that I would blog tomorrow. I wouldn't blog tomorrow morning even IF I remembered this, and I wouldn't remember it by the time I got home from work most definitively.

Basically.

I had this brilliant idea before falling asleep--in fact, it was the idea I was going to use to fall​ asleep. 

Like most of my best ideas, this idea originated from the darker side of my brain. No, seriously. A fair share of my best ideas originated from the dark recess of the inner monster my mind is capable of producing. In this case, it's barely scratching the surface; light perversion is healthy enough and not really that dark so not really monstrous although that's only because of the direction it ended up turning.

I was expecting the idea to probably lead my mind down the road of things like rape, torture, the like--which is, yes, dark. But my mind surprised me...because it didn't. Instead? Well it still started off with the potential to go down that road, but didn't actually take it.

The basic idea that popped into my head was, (pardon the incoming language but this is verbatim the thought driving the idea and is something meant to come directly from the mind of a teenager who would use such language) "What if an average teenaged guy made a wish, that was actually granted, to 'have a female me that I can fuck'?"

You can probably understand why I was expecting that to take a darker turn--it's not like that's the sort of thing which doesn't already exist in hentai. Similar premises are actually staples thereof. (Yes I read hentai back in my teenage years. No, I don't anymore, but not because I don't want to; my reasons for not doing so now are purely because teenage me didn't care about infecting my computer with viruses whereas adult me is paranoid and that quite literally is the only reason I DON'T still do it...and I admit even then I take peeks using google image search in incognito mode, just making sure to not actually VISIT any site. Which I imagine isn't entirely risk-free still, but is probably significantly LESS risky than going to the sites. MY POINT BEING. I know from experience that similar stuff appears in hentai because I've actually read hentai with similar.)

The thing is...it snowballed out into an entirely different direction. This being the average teenaged guy, he was someone who I imagined as, while stupid enough to have made that wish and not realizing the consequences of it enough to not make it, after having faced it realized what went wrong and not take advantage of it, having more of a "my god what have I done?" moment upon realizing that someone with all his memories, thoughts, and feelings, was now standing in front of him, as a girl.

And as he's heterosexual, he realized very quickly that outside the influence of magic, she wouldn't be attracted to him; outside the influence of magic, she would potentially not even be a 'she'.

And the story I imagined would mostly follow her, albeit having him as a prominent character, as s/he would go about life after having been created.

...It was a brilliant idea.
I really really really liked it.
...But it was about this time that I realized.
"...Wait.
...Isn't that basically Ellen from EGS?"

And I let out a great big siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhh.

I DO think the idea didn't come from EGS at all. Had absolutely zero influence on its creation or evolution at all.
I think I came up with the idea separately, and had I not read EGS, I'd have had proof that any resemblances were purely 100% entirely coincidental.

...But since I HAVE read EGS, and keep up to date on it no less...there's the lingering doubt of maybe I did subconsciously get biased by it and end up making an almost clone of her, just as a different take.

OH WELL.

Was worth a blog entry at least.

And now if you don't mind I'm only getting five hours of sleep now so need as much of them as is possible to be actual sleep.

I am also pretty sure that when I opened up my tab to blog a couple hours ago, that is not what I was going to blog about. I remember having a moment specific to today that was an "oh hey that's actually a blog-worthy moment!" to talk about, where I would have something to speak about.

Unfortunately.

We are having family night tonight.

Which was sufficient distraction, as we watched It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Well, I half-watched it, half-watched the rerun of the league stream covering matches I wasn't awake for. Butyeah. About the sickness: I woke up with it, tried sleeping more...and more...and more...and it didn't go away and eventually I just realized it wasn't going away so I might as well get up.

And it's still here, now.

Soyeah.

I am sick.

Silver lining: my dreams last night were the best dreams I've had in a long time. Almost a full 12 hours later, I've since forgotten them and that's a shame because I know that they involved some sort of epic adventure (I vaguely seem to recall a dream about a two guys one girl trio where they started as ordinary three individuals, but became badasses, and yet somewhere along the line the guys got separated from the girl, where the guys kept fighting but the girl was forced into nobility life and when reuniting was disappointed that she'd fallen behind in badassery, but the guys felt that she just kept up in her own way because she was an utter badass in the royal court or something of that sort and the guys ended up officially being her bodyguards but her being badass enough to not really need bodyguards), but the details beyond that elude me.

God I hate how I feel so inadequate in these blogs.