All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

Okay so today my memory isn't garbage.

6/20/2022

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I know pretty much exactly what I did today.

It wasn't much in terms of productivity, but it was incredibly productive in terms of plurality with me making breakthrough after breakthrough after breakthrough there.

I really, really, really SHOULD make a blog about my plurality and the breakthroughs I've had in the last half year or so.

After all, last y'all knew in my blog, I only knew of 2-3 major facets and didn't know much about them.

We're up to five and each we know a heck of a lot about.

Today I finally found a name for the main one (you're reading her writing right now!), and also we developed a bit of a theory for how the five facets formed as they did.

Also, did I mention that my lifelong childhood imaginary friend has been far more prominent in our life than we ever realized? And that we might now know what form of plurality that childhood imaginary friend is, and have given them a name?

Like.

When I say that there's been a LOT.

I mean it.

I just haven't actually blogged about any of it.

I really should.

I just...don't feel like doing so tonight.

So this is all you get for now, my apologies.
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Good lord my memory is garbage.

6/19/2022

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I know that today was huge for doing things but I genuinely have no memory of what they were.

I guess that a huge thing is that my breasts now have bounce to them! When I hop up and down, they actually jiggle, which is a very new thing and means that they are large enough to be under the effects of the law of physics, affected by gravity.

​But beyond that, while I know today was a huge day for things, I remember...nothing.
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Okay so for, like, future reference:

6/18/2022

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Barring extreme extenuating circumstances, it is basically impossible for me to sleep until like 4-5 pm.

I will always wake up at or before like 2-3 pm.

So if I vibe too hard and stay up until 10 am, then I'm not going to get my target amount of sleep of 6-7 hours.

I'm trying to, as part of optimizing my life while being healthy, get the same amount of sleep consistently, and to keep it in that 6-7 hour range. Sometimes, I get less; sometimes, I may need a little extra. But overall, I'm aiming for 6-7 hours as the range.

I know that people need different amounts of sleep to be "healthy", and it's possible that 6-7 is too little, but while my aging body could have changed this, from experience I know that in the past, ~6-7 was(/is?) my ideal amount.

I can function off of less, but I get way more tired and am far more vulnerable to being sick.

But more sleep than that doesn't seem to make a difference. If anything, I think that it might be oversleeping.
I'm not feeling less tired by sleeping 8-10 hours.
I'm not feeling more healthy by sleeping 8-10 hours.
I'm not feeling better in any way shape or form in those 8-10 hour sleep sessions.

So like. If I'm not feeling better in that range, but I know that I feel worse on less than 6 hours of sleep, that means that the most optimal range where I feel the best is ~6-7 hours.

I'm also somewhat trying to get the times slightly closer together, albeit not so much a deliberate effort as much as it is, coincidentally happens to be needed.

Work is going to move to an hour earlier on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. And I need to take showers 3-4 times a week. It takes me 2-3 hours to shower and an additional 1-2 hours to prep for work so if I want time to work out (which I do), I need to get up an hour earlier.

I currently leave at ~12:45 - 1:30, so an hour earlier will be ~11:45 - 12:30. Which means that I need to get up 3-5 hours before that, meaning ~8 am for shower-work days and ~10 am for non-shower days. And since I get up at ~5 am on Thursdays and Sundays, this will bring my up-time to around the same time, within a few hours.

So that means more consistency across the board, which I think will be healthier overall.

Butyeah.

I'm mostly aiming for the same general area for sleep amount and get-up time although when I stream I will always be staying up later than normal.

Speaking of which, I kinda hate that every time I get into the streaming groove, real life kinda gets in the way.

​I can theoretically stream late late late on Sundays, but doing so is situational as it'd be after the streamer I watch finishes, and it'd be giving up on watching the LCO--I don't want that.
Ditto for Mondays.
Tuesdays, I theoretically can, but if I want to take a shower on Wednesday, then I can't do all three of {stream, get 6-7 hours sleep, shower}, so I'd be giving up on one of them, maybe two.
Wednesdays, I can't because I have work on Thursday mornings (tho this might be changing soon).
Thursdays, I might be able to fit in a bonus day stream, but it'd be short and would detract from nap time for a Thursday Night stream.
Saturdays, I theoretically can, but I use Saturdays as a rest day/chill day, and often there are streamers I want to watch.

​There's not many times I can stream, so the times I already do, are all I can do.

But far too often, even if I have the lucidity to stream and the physical energy to, real life is dictating I can't.

For instance, this upcoming week, I have things on both Friday and Saturday, which means no Thursday or Friday streams.

Which also means not doing story games like Final Fantasy VII or Chrono Trigger--even though I literally have finished doing the offline grinding that stopped me from progressing both of them.

I'm ready to stream them.

I just need the ability to stream them.

And it's frustrating that I can't pursue it.

​I do what I can tho.
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I was super-productive!

6/17/2022

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Did a great stream!!!

​Climbed in TFT!

​But it 10 am now so I need sleep!
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I'm tireddddd.

6/16/2022

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I need sleep. Desperatelyyyyy.
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BLOG!

6/15/2022

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I shout as I get up from my chair to leave for bed and turn the monitor off. (In my head obv, plurality thing.)

Since I don't wanna be late, gonna keep it quick.

Done things:
Am now stretching back;
Am increasing cardio;
Am now singing;
Am returning to posture/walking/etc. more feminine, on the horizon: talking too.
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Continuing doing things and not remembering.

6/14/2022

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That said, I do have one thing that I haven't done but which I am going to that is unique to today:

I have a story to actually write.

It's going to be called "High School Duality".

The basic premise: two lesbians who have a lot of the same traits, but have them manifest in ways that lead to them living completely different lives, in spite of being in the same school, same grade, same classes, and having a similar background.

I know exactly what I want to do and I think I know exactly how to do it, no writer's block.

​I do need some time to set it up, but I can do this. I know I can.
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I did a few things, but I remember none of them.

6/13/2022

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I mean I didn't do as much as I would prefer, that's for sure, but I also know I didn't do nothing.

It's not a, "I had to have done something" moment, where time disappears and I don't know where it went.

I know where the time went this time, it's just I don't remember!
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A bit down on my luck.

6/12/2022

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Eh, things not the greatest right now.

​I'm managing, but barely.
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Oops I late for bed.

6/11/2022

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In my defense: I did a fair amount today.

Not what I should be doing, but some.

Continued to progress in climbing in TFT, while also getting some work done in minecraft.

​Butyeah I need to sleep now.
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    rBree2

    AKA:
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    ​rangerbreenew

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