Well, not the creativity I needed to do...

But all the same, I thought it was funny, so I did it.
I wrote a song, which I'd probably call "Hollywood". I might even sing it, once I'm alone in the house (whenever I next get that opportunity), just so you can get a sense of the song's timing.

It's not a song I put much thought into, but in a way, that's kind-of the point, and you'll see why when you read it. Here, take a look.


So you wanna make it big with your idea,
In your naivety you think you need love.
An action film has been your dream you say,
Well let me tell you how to play the game.

Listen to me and listen well,
You need this to survive hell.

Swordfight, gunfight,
Heroic sacrifice,
Actors with big names,
And not much to say,
An object of mystery,
That's what action films need.

Love plot, Money shot,
Don't forget what's been lost.
Big explosions, and slow motion,
Obligatory slow scene,
That's what action films need.

You might think this is some big joke,
But let me tell ya you're starting broke.
If you don't play ball you're bound to fail,
So just roll with it even if it is stale.

Listen to me and listen well,
You need this to survive hell.

Swordfight, gunfight,
Heroic sacrifice,
Actors with big names,
And not much to say,
An object of mystery,
That's what action films need.

Love plot, Money shot,
Don't forget what's been lost.
Big explosions, and slow motion,
Obligatory slow scene,
That's what action films need.

Listen to me and listen well,
You need this to survive hell.
You need money, you need cash,
Lovely nice guys will finish last.

Swordfight, gunfight,
Heroic sacrifice,
Actors with big names,
And not much to say,
An object of mystery,
That's what action films need.

Love plot, Money shot,
Don't forget what's been lost.
Big explosions, and slow motion,
Obligatory slow scene,
That's what action films need.


​...I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight be making some commentary here. Just maybe. It's a distinct possibility.