...It's on that note I should tell you to please not panic about my blog entry for the day! Because you won't like the sound of it. I was asked by my mom if I'd lost weight--I hadn't really thought I had, but then again it had been over a month since I had weighed myself. I told the truth about this when it came up (this conversation was a day or two ago), but had it on my mind all the same.
So today at the beginning of the day I weighed myself: 134.8 pounds. Now. That's within the margin of error. The normal is 138 give or take (usually take) five pounds, which places the lower boundary at 133. Butstill, that is a liiiiiittle bit less than ideal and at the point where people close to me may be tempted to go all panicky on me. I need to be careful not to lose more; I need to try and gain weight. But don't be too worried, because I can do it.
...Today? Not exactly me proving it. I kinda wish I could say I had, but I really didn't. I had breakfast. But then, in spite of me having this knowledge, what did I do? Did I have my normal tae kwon do day lunch and then some extra? Why, of course not! In fact I kinda sorta skipped out on lunch altogether! (In my defense, lunch = eggs my dad made and the eggs he made were preeeeeeeetty inedible, butstill, I didn't seek alternatives.) So I actually had less to eat on my physical activity day than normal.
I did make it up, though. I'm pretty sure the meal I had for dinner was more than I'd normally have? It's a little difficult to tell the exact amount I'd consume, but it felt like more at the very least. Even if not, the type of food was one which was fairly healthy (lots of pasta <3), so I think it's energizing?
I'm bad at food stuff if you couldn't tell. But I'm not so incompetent as to let myself continue to lose weight now that I know that there's the risk thereof. And even if I were. Even if I did lose weight. I'd be smart enough to go to a doctor about it--FORCE the issue with my mom and tell her that I can't let it wait to some unspecified future point.
...But we're not to that point yet. My cutoff there is 130 pounds. I reach that point, I need a doctor pronto. I'm at like 132 or so, I try everything in my power to crank up my consumption. I'm not going to let any health problems from me being underweight develop; I'm not going to let any weight loss go without monitoring.
So you can trust me to be good on this. I won't be unhealthy. I may not exactly be healthy. But I won't let myself degrade. That's a promise--and while I can make frivolous promises prone to breaking, this is a personal promise I've made on every level. Not just to my loved ones, but also to family and also to myself. It's one I will keep. With luck, it won't be an issue though, since this is something fixed just by eating.