I am feeling very very depressed. I'm struggling to do anything...including sleep. I don't have the energy for daily tasks. I don't have the energy for streaming even though tonight would've been great to do so both due to the opportunity and due to momentum. I even considered streaming something other than Chrono Trigger, just in case it was burnout from playing too much Chrono Trigger--nope, just sheer flat-out depression-induced apathy.
Couldn't find myself playing Stardew Valley. Or Epic Battle Fantasy 5. Or League. Or ranked/hyperroll tft. (Did crush a Normal tho. One. Then even that felt pointless so I just...didn't do more.) I did grind a little in Chrono Trigger but couldn't find myself doing more.
I don't feel like doing art. I don't have it in me to write something right now. I couldn't find myself furthering my Minecraft work, either.
Nor could I find myself progressing rl stuff at all, like catching up on email stuff and such.
And I can't even, in spite of this total apathy/lethargy to everything, find myself sleeping, either.
I just...am empty inside. And I don't know why.
Well, I do. It's depression, the low half of my bipolar disorder. But I don't know what to do, how to handle it, how to manage it right now. I feel nothing. Just...a void. Emptiness. It's something I know I should fill with some form of productivity...but heck if I know what. I normally devolve to binge-reading during these times but finding something to read itself just feels like...a drag.
I'm just.
Lost, with no answer.