Let me list them so you can have a good idea of what exactly I mean by that.
So this morning is a Monday--I tend to typically take showers on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. (Tuesdays are pointless since Tae Kwon Do that night, plus school in morning. Similarly, school on Thursdays. Work is on Sundays. Sometimes I shower on Saturday, but only if not on Friday too.)
In spite of me waking up with an overabundance of time to do exactly that, first and foremost, my thought when I woke up?
"I want to interact with people."
So the first thing I did, not shower, not even eat breakfast.
Was interact, was talk, to people. (And read a little webcomics as part of that, but mostly talk to people.)
It was only a brief interaction, butstill. The point is, instead of doing the stuff I was supposed to do, I wanted to talk to people, and did. By the time I was done, I didn't feel like taking a shower. I wanted to continue talking to people. I did eat (albeit only the bare minimum because my dad burnt my breakfast again--my sister offered to make me scrambled eggs, but I declined since I didn't want to impose and also to let the burnt eggs go completely to waste so I ate what I could), and then went straight back to the people.
I could have done schoolwork. Nope, people more important. Talking to them, interacting with them, was more important to me. I could have done mafia game stuff which I should be doing especially since I'm struggling to balance mafia life with school life. Nope, people were more important. (Albeit, some of them being FROM my mafia game life. Very very very closely in fact. To the point where at least 80% of my blog readers come from there I'd wager.)
I did have a minor distraction self-inflicted of reading TVTropes on Tom and Gerry (mostly to affirm that my memory of the show, of them being frenemies, vitriolic as their friendship may be, was not me misremembering and as it turns out if anything I was under-remembering just how strong that dynamic was), which was a nice trip down childhood lane (I was raised on cartoon shows), but that wasn't a huge distraction; I avoided reading anything except for the things I was looking for, essentially. (Well for the most part.)
So mostly. Just people. Talking to them. Lots and lots of talking to them, entering discussions with them about all sorts of things, good long conversations. (Also even if not a full wall, conveying my love. <3) I mean, not terrible ways to spend time, but it is me spending time on those things rather than spending time on things which are actually productive.
(Side note but I should mention how much right now I hate my classmates in college. Everett is notoriously heavy on smokers and it seems like literally everyone in my degree does except for me; I cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke. It assaults me in not just smell, but also taste. This doesn't even have to be from them smoking; it can be from clothing. In my mouth. In my throat. In my nose. And it's the most repugnant odor I can be exposed to. I have hyper-sensitive senses, smell among them. I have nothing against people choosing to smoke. But I don't want to deal with their stench after they've done so. I'd rather smell cow manure, which is surprisingly pleasant. Or gasoline, also pleasant. Or even burning hair, not so pleasant. It's just a whole 'nother level of ick I don't want to have this and is basically the smelling/taste equivalent to my misophonia. Speaking of which my class contains a disproportionately high number of people who trigger said misophonia. They assault my nose. They assault my tongue. They assault my throat. They assault my ears. The only two senses they don't assault are touch and sight, and those are pretty dang hard to assault. But I digress. Back to the topic at hand...)
Continuing my impressive feats today, I wanted to leave my other non-shower hygiene until close to when I left: brushing my teeth, my hair, and shaving. This, largely for aesthetics and also the pragmatic reason that doing my hair doesn't keep it nice for very long so the closer to leaving, the better. (Similarly so for shaving; hair grows too fast for my comfort.)
...Thaaaaat.
...Ended quite predictably.
As in, half-way already to the college I felt my face itching, touched it, and only then realized: "Whoops".
Yep.
I forgot.
And ended up doing nothing about it.
So I look (and probably smell) like a mess.
I've got a face which is all kinds of irritated (not only for the hair but also for the lack of shower), and I'm trying not to think about it as to not trigger dysphoria. (Which...is a little hard since I'm self-conscious right now. I just...I know my image right now. I know how I look. And...I hate it. When I put effort into my appearance, I don't hate how I look because I look androgynous enough and I know with work I could make it more feminine. Right now I'm just...unambiguously not and that's all kinds of...blehg.)
In a shocking turn of events, once at the college, what do I do?
The work I promised I'd be doing?
...Well.
I'm here typing out this blog entry; that should give you an idea of just how much work I'm getting done!
This well and truly is an impressive statement, innit? Of just how spectacular I am at adulting. At managing my life, doing the things I'm supposed to be doing.
...Today is gonna suck.
It already does to be honest but it's gonna suck so much more when class starts and all that work which was supposed to be done isn't. (I did mafia over the weekend instead which I don't regret and yet at the same time do regret and yet...yeah.)
I am so utterly screwed.
So this morning is a Monday--I tend to typically take showers on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. (Tuesdays are pointless since Tae Kwon Do that night, plus school in morning. Similarly, school on Thursdays. Work is on Sundays. Sometimes I shower on Saturday, but only if not on Friday too.)
In spite of me waking up with an overabundance of time to do exactly that, first and foremost, my thought when I woke up?
"I want to interact with people."
So the first thing I did, not shower, not even eat breakfast.
Was interact, was talk, to people. (And read a little webcomics as part of that, but mostly talk to people.)
It was only a brief interaction, butstill. The point is, instead of doing the stuff I was supposed to do, I wanted to talk to people, and did. By the time I was done, I didn't feel like taking a shower. I wanted to continue talking to people. I did eat (albeit only the bare minimum because my dad burnt my breakfast again--my sister offered to make me scrambled eggs, but I declined since I didn't want to impose and also to let the burnt eggs go completely to waste so I ate what I could), and then went straight back to the people.
I could have done schoolwork. Nope, people more important. Talking to them, interacting with them, was more important to me. I could have done mafia game stuff which I should be doing especially since I'm struggling to balance mafia life with school life. Nope, people were more important. (Albeit, some of them being FROM my mafia game life. Very very very closely in fact. To the point where at least 80% of my blog readers come from there I'd wager.)
I did have a minor distraction self-inflicted of reading TVTropes on Tom and Gerry (mostly to affirm that my memory of the show, of them being frenemies, vitriolic as their friendship may be, was not me misremembering and as it turns out if anything I was under-remembering just how strong that dynamic was), which was a nice trip down childhood lane (I was raised on cartoon shows), but that wasn't a huge distraction; I avoided reading anything except for the things I was looking for, essentially. (Well for the most part.)
So mostly. Just people. Talking to them. Lots and lots of talking to them, entering discussions with them about all sorts of things, good long conversations. (Also even if not a full wall, conveying my love. <3) I mean, not terrible ways to spend time, but it is me spending time on those things rather than spending time on things which are actually productive.
(Side note but I should mention how much right now I hate my classmates in college. Everett is notoriously heavy on smokers and it seems like literally everyone in my degree does except for me; I cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke. It assaults me in not just smell, but also taste. This doesn't even have to be from them smoking; it can be from clothing. In my mouth. In my throat. In my nose. And it's the most repugnant odor I can be exposed to. I have hyper-sensitive senses, smell among them. I have nothing against people choosing to smoke. But I don't want to deal with their stench after they've done so. I'd rather smell cow manure, which is surprisingly pleasant. Or gasoline, also pleasant. Or even burning hair, not so pleasant. It's just a whole 'nother level of ick I don't want to have this and is basically the smelling/taste equivalent to my misophonia. Speaking of which my class contains a disproportionately high number of people who trigger said misophonia. They assault my nose. They assault my tongue. They assault my throat. They assault my ears. The only two senses they don't assault are touch and sight, and those are pretty dang hard to assault. But I digress. Back to the topic at hand...)
Continuing my impressive feats today, I wanted to leave my other non-shower hygiene until close to when I left: brushing my teeth, my hair, and shaving. This, largely for aesthetics and also the pragmatic reason that doing my hair doesn't keep it nice for very long so the closer to leaving, the better. (Similarly so for shaving; hair grows too fast for my comfort.)
...Thaaaaat.
...Ended quite predictably.
As in, half-way already to the college I felt my face itching, touched it, and only then realized: "Whoops".
Yep.
I forgot.
And ended up doing nothing about it.
So I look (and probably smell) like a mess.
I've got a face which is all kinds of irritated (not only for the hair but also for the lack of shower), and I'm trying not to think about it as to not trigger dysphoria. (Which...is a little hard since I'm self-conscious right now. I just...I know my image right now. I know how I look. And...I hate it. When I put effort into my appearance, I don't hate how I look because I look androgynous enough and I know with work I could make it more feminine. Right now I'm just...unambiguously not and that's all kinds of...blehg.)
In a shocking turn of events, once at the college, what do I do?
The work I promised I'd be doing?
...Well.
I'm here typing out this blog entry; that should give you an idea of just how much work I'm getting done!
This well and truly is an impressive statement, innit? Of just how spectacular I am at adulting. At managing my life, doing the things I'm supposed to be doing.
...Today is gonna suck.
It already does to be honest but it's gonna suck so much more when class starts and all that work which was supposed to be done isn't. (I did mafia over the weekend instead which I don't regret and yet at the same time do regret and yet...yeah.)
I am so utterly screwed.
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