Because 2-3 weeks after my second dose, my plan is to come out as trans in real life.
I am terrified.
I know that I will make every excuse possible to try and talk my way out of it.
I am, fundamentally, at my core nature, a coward. I am so, so, so scared of it, so I will try to make every possible excuse to back out.
I'll try to talk my way out of it.
Say I'm not ready.
Say I'm not prepared.
Say I can't do it.
Try to use any setback as an excuse to put it off.
Try to convince myself that there's a reason to not do so.
I can already see the cogs spinning in my head trying to find a way to back down.
But I can't.
This is something I need to do.
I just...am very very scared and out of my depth and not in my element at all.