...Oh, right, it's because of bipolar disorder combined with an anxiety disorder.
Where I have them, I use them as an excuse to not do the things that I want to do, and not do the things that I need to do, and not do the things I am scheduled to do, and not do the things that there is an optimal time to do.
And then because I use them as an excuse, I feel worse, which deepens the depression and makes the anxiety even higher when it comes to starting back up.
And then the downward spiral continues ad depression and anxiety make it harder, but make me feel worse, and making me feel worse makes it harder, and it being harder makes it feel worse, and......