You know those days where a lot happens yet you don't really know how to talk about it?

Yeah, basically that. Lots happened today, I'm just not sure how to go about speaking of it, since it's mostly in my head, aside from watching a couple of films for movie night and a few episodes of Avatar.

I hope I remember the new tune I created today for blogging tomorrow. (Uhg, too tired to post today.) Technically, variant on THE tune, but eh, still neat. (I just have to remember it overnight.)

Also had a little combo attack for Red Hood Rider, but nothing major there.

Main thing today was that I had a neat dream. In it, there was an anime setting, where there were six living relics. Four of them were enslaved to the bad guys, two of them willingly worked for the bad guys. Said bad guys take over a gigantic location in the middle of a forest and basically wall it off, and use their power to broadcast around the world a message, that the world within is being declared a gigantic arena, for control of the relics.

Meanwhile, the female relic who worked willingly for them was put into a situation where she wanted to escape, and began fleeing for her life. She's fleeing from a rogue, a guy belonging to no group but out for the blood of them all, and her being hunted by him was a major focus of the dream, too.

Then, there was the protagonist. He lead a small strike team (of three?) into the forest, once the bad guys took over, but being able to predict what was happening, the protagonist told his team to get out before they got trapped. They did, he didn't, so now he's alone in there, and going to be part of what is assured to be an ensuing bloodbath.

The dream lacked coherent motivations or backstories, but I thought the concept was very clever and clear.

Plus family night, watching Andromeda, but that's not important.

Right now, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep......

So what I was going to say yesterday was, basically, that my computer has been a royal pain, slow to do everything, and I do mean everything. Pages that should take moments to load are taking minutes instead, opening files included.

It's just an all-around miserable thing to suffer through, and that has understandably hindered my progress. Tiredness compacted on top of that meant no blog, and also no writing. So now I need to write three chapters today, and post my blog entries, which I'll do...

...As soon as the dang site loads.

In the mean time, to vent my frustration with my computer, I might as well talk about what little WAS done.

For my novel, I caught a few repetitions that I can eliminate, and I also did a little work on Red Hood Rider.

Mainly, detailing why D.D. and Sky Shinobi didn't need power upgrades: because thanks to their natures and plot positions, they've already gotten it, pretty much.

For starters, Whitney earned the name Sky Shinobi because beyond her basic guns, and beyond mere ice shards she can lob at enemies (something that is versatile and deadly by itself, which is why it is pretty much all we get to initially see), she also has always possessed these powers--
-The ability to slow/stop time on any scale: locally, globally, applied to only certain objects, applied to lots of things, she basically has near-mastery of time.
-This is an ability she subconsciously uses all the time, even in normal battles, but it's actually a power she can deliberately focus in on and use, and that being, the ability to predict precise chains of events, which basically makes her a master of cause-effect relationships: shoot the wall to ricochet the bullet to hit the mirror and be bounced back onto the target's exposed unguarded head from behind, that kind of thing.
-And then, an extension of her ability to manipulate time (not being able to reverse it limits her, because her powers deal with slowing things, not speeding them up), she has localized space-warping, which mainly takes the form of limited teleportation.

Each by themselves would be a powerful ability, and she's been able to do all three since her introduction--and when they're tied together, the results show. The name basically comes from the fact that she could launch surprise air attacks, then suddenly vanish, a shinobi striking from the sky swiftly and accurately. By selectively slowing down time by seeing what she needs to slow down and by how much (her second ability), and by warping things as they need to be warped, she is capable of dispatching nearly any foe by surprise.

But she does have another ability beyond this, and she shares it with D.D.: manipulation of thermodynamics. Basically, instead of being limited to just ice, she has this ability, and that makes her theoretical power on par with Vili's electromagnetism (plus speed). In particular, imagine dealing with someone who can break the second law of thermodynamics. Whitney can. The only limitation on that power, similar to Vili's, is on her knowledge (read: my knowledge) of it, basically allowing her to do a lot. She doesn't really use it much; the ability is mainly D.D.'s, but there's a reason (well, SEVERAL reasons) she's a battle partner with D.D.

Speaking of D.D., her own powers make her the strongest physical attacker, able to floor opponents no matter how strong they are. This carries some required secondary powers, too: she's second only to Vili in speed, because power includes powerful muscles, including leg muscles. And because she needs to not break every bone in her body whenever throwing a punch, she has the third-strongest endurance of the Riders, behind Vili (who needs it for similar reasons) and Sally (the queen of endurance).

She does possess the power to transfer her strength to others, even without conduits like Hannah or Amy, amplifying their power, but this requires direct contact and the fusion's not perfect.

Obviously, her flames make her a very powerful combatant (fire is a VERY destructive force), and she has a lot of abilities based around that, but some of the less obvious ones are the most powerful, among them being things like forcefields, barriers, and walls (she does things like walljump off of barriers she's created, allowing her to attack from the air and change direction mid-strike), but that's not her strongest power.

Another trait she sort-of has is that while she's the strongest physical attacker, she's also the most powerful in raw damage output magic attacker.

Her strongest power is a mini-nuke, akin to Ruby's Nova technique, but being far more compressed (capable of being sized down to a single molecule and unleashing that explosive force), thus, versatile: she's able to fling them around as both defense and offense, lay a minefield, shoot them as bullets (akin to Gary's technique), and so, SO many more. Admittedly, she gains this one (along with thermodynamic manipulation) only AFTER an important storyline event happens to her (she had the powers listed above more or less already, though she does amplify them notably during this same event such that instead of sort-of being there, they're now prominently there), butstill, it's a very strong technique.

A final power of hers that she has is the Behemoth Blade. (Think a large Buster Blade for the smallest of the magical girls, and you get the mental image--small girl, huge sword.) Exploiting her power and speed, she can throw it around as if it were paper, yet it's very much not--it's actually got mini-nukes merged into the blade, such that every time she clashes with something, she's capable of vibrating the blade and letting a flurry of mini-explosions hail outward. (Incidentally, the sword is also great at channeling her other fire techniques, too.)

Because of these powers from both, they don't need the same upgrade that Vili does. (I had always planned for Whitney to be that strong from her intro, albeit only hashing out the details of WHY yesterday; the same applies to D.D., having her powers expand being part of the plan at one specific event and then hanging there for the rest of the story because she no longer needed a power-up, again the details being just written up yesterday.)

Of course, one of the things about some of these abilities is that, yes, they kinda encroach upon Hannah's territory. For instance, D.D. being the most powerful magic attacker. Hannah has more raw magic, making her the most powerful magic user, but her own nature and techniques mean her attacks are more PRECISE rather than powerful, though she later begins to expand, adapt, and morph her techniques. (Hannah is up there with Sky in not needing an upgrade. Her base powers are strong, but she eventually gets control over things such as GRAVITY. Which, mind you, is...another fundamental force, and is every bit as powerful as it sounds. The thing holding her back is her mental state, not her physical abilities.)

And to be fair, the techniques are heavily borrowed--they're a team, after all, and watching their teammates do a technique using their powers, it's not at all unreasonable for them to go, "Hmm, can I do that using my own powers?" And I was very upfront about this from the get-go in my conceptualization of the series, that nine times out of ten, the answer is "Yes".

...Yes, I realize that basically all eight of the Riders are insanely overpowered. Keep in mind, though, that these abilities develop over the course of three years or so, during which time they're constantly fighting, training, and evolving their abilities, as they face foes who get progressively better and better at neutralizing previous strategies and abilities. And worth noting is that a fair amount of the time, even these godlike abilities fail, with the Rider LOSING. (Albeit almost never without some sort of interference, I'll admit.)

It's fair game for the genre, because it's a natural evolution.
So Ruby can gain godlike attack/defense abilities augmented by illusions,
Sally can gain some incredibly deadly attacks,
Gary can develop a wide array of devastating moves,
Hannah, D.D., and Sky can develop the abilities I touched upon,
Vili could have the potential to surpass everyone above in theory,
And Amy can not only amplify all of the above, but also act on her own by weaponizing Hard Light (which makes her able to do nearly anything, limited only by her creativity).

It's fair because they go up against enemies that evolve. That's just the kind of world they live in. They're not even considered close to being the highest-tier of superhero/villain.

Also, it actually kinda has an in-universe explanation, highly-spoilery, dealing with the end of Red Hood Rider.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhg.
I had a very lengthy blog post planned, but...stuff happens.

It's too late for me to do it tonight. Tired. Will do tomorrow, I hope.
...Needless to say, tomorrow I owe myself three chapters, just as I owe myself three blog posts. (Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.)

I really DO suck.

So my progress for my novel is actually doing decently. Yesterday, I got through a chapter, which made me promise that I'd get a chapter done a day.

That's all nice and fine and all, but, uh...it's 2 AM in the morning, and I haven't written a word. So, uh, yeah. I need to get busy, there. I'll hold off on posting this blog post until tomorrow; the more time I spend here, the less time I have for writing.

Sorry.

For a start, as we were arriving, my mom basically said to me that the style for guys is to leave a little bit of facial hair, and not shave it all off. And the real kicker, that I look more masculine with it that way.

Instant note, there, then, that instead of shaving whenever going to a public place (I don't consider my counseling appointment public; it's basically 'any Y visit'), I'm going to now need to shave religiously every day. (I had been not bothering when not appearing in public, since there's not much of a point; I'm a recluse who spends most of my time online, not doing things where dysphoria'd kick in.)

But the counseling appointment basically went, "What do you want to do to get more money?" And the answer to that is...nothing that is actually a job. I like working at the Y, but I'm limited to 39 hours, am averaging 20, and the pay's basically minimal wage. (Albeit minimal wage in the state with the highest minimal wage.) And they're concerned that's not enough. Yet...frustrating as my experiences there can be, stressful as they can be, I do love my job there and it's the only real job I can see myself getting paid for.

They want me to pursue physical training if at all possible, to increase the amount I'd get paid, but while that'd still be working at the Y, and I might even enjoy the job more, getting to that point's not something I particularly have the motivation to pursue.

What I really want to do.
The question they didn't really ask because it's not the question they're looking for.

Is be a writer.

I want to write professionally, rather than just as a hobby, and while it's been months since I worked on my novel directly, it's the thing I most want to do.

That doesn't guarantee I get much pay, especially given that people are generally not willing to take a risk, and for every big-name author that succeeds, there's a million others that tried and failed. So I might not get any pay. But writing is what I actually want to do. It's my passion. It's what I live for--and I don't mean that metaphorically. Quite literally, at the absolute darkest moment in my life when I was considering suicide, it was the stories in my head that wished to be written and heard by others that saved my life.

They cried out to me, essentially. "You're the only one who can write them." I told myself. "If you die...then they are lost, forever, never to be told, never to be finished, never to be shared, never to live." And I couldn't let that happen. I knew I could never bring them all to life, but I resolved right then and there that I would bring them to life.

So I need to be a writer. I don't care how. I don't want to give up ComicFury, or my mafia life, or my real-life pursuits, or Red Hood Rider. And I can't give up my job. But somehow...I'm getting writing done. I'm going to maximize every minute of my time, because I refuse to let this go.

So while I was left very uncomfortable, and while this is not the conclusion that they wanted from me, the meeting was productive, in that it has reinvigorated, reignited, my passion, my drive, to pursue my highest calling: that of a writer. I'm not letting go of it. I'm refusing to go to bed tonight without writing on my novel; I'm promising that, now. It may not be the first thing I do (I've got a LOT of errands to run), and I might want to work on Red Hood Rider today a bit, but I AM going to work on my novel, no matter what.

Of course, by now I don't really need to mention THE tune for you to know what I'm talking about, but do you remember how I said that there were variants on THE tune? Well, one of them which I have discovered, and rediscovered, months after months after months, has generally been along the same lines as the original, that being, music fit for battles, with me ultimately concluding one would be for normal fights and the other for special/boss fights.

The problem with said tunes is that they always kept changing. (I call them TUNES, plural, in spite of it being "one" tune.) They always have the same basic concept, snares prominent over the rest, but the execution has been different every time the tune has come back to my mind, with me always thinking, "Something's not quite right about this...", and frustratingly, I keep going over the tune, trying to figure out the finer points of it, only for the whole thing to collapse. The first time the variant-tune plays in my mind, it sounds awesome, and I mentally cheer myself on, and then, after that, I have a panic attack of sorts when trying to replay it, and it not being the same because while THE tune I have nailed down (call it "practice"), the variant tune, I don't.

So it has always been a mess, but I figured that I'd take a stab at recording it anyway. If I were to try and play this exact tune just with a more clear audio (it's extremely muted, so in a way I got what I wanted: the snares are VERY dominant. It's just that I didn't mean for them to be quite that dominant...), I'd never be able to because I was improvising it as I went along, but hey, I got at least one recording of it so that you can more or less know what I was talking about!

^There you go. Like I said, it's very rough, but the idea behind this variant of the tune is that instead of the snares being a supporting force for the 'guitar', that the guitar would be a supporting force for the snares. Not quite sure I pulled it off (hand-eye coordination when also humming is ridiculously hard, and I can't really hum something and have the snares be a different thing), but I think I conveyed the general idea. The snares slowly give an intro (I think my original inspiration for this was a Muse song, probably from the Absolution album), and then from there, the music picks up, going into action-mode. The bass parts of this song, rather than serve as the intro/outro now serve as bridges, the first one being just the bass, the second one being the bass with a little bit of guitar, as seen in the original tune. I don't think I handed the transitions fairly smoothly (that's what I get for this being improv), what with the awkward pauses and silence/overlap where there shouldn't have been any, but I'm happy with what I got.

Incidentally, at different times, which was the boss tune and which was the normal battle tune has varied, depending on the level of epicness. Originally, though, I believe this tune was meant as the 'boss' version, both because it's a variant (that is, deviation) from the 'normal' version, and because when I first thought it up, it was more "epic" than the original tune was. Currently, not convinced either way, but I think this one would still be the boss-version, because it's longer, has more variety, and with a better recording might carry more strength. You make your own judgment, though.

Here I am, posting entries two days late on a weekly basis, when said entries consist mainly of one-liners that basically amount to nothing. You could say I've got blogger's block, I suppose, but that still doesn't make me any less pathetic.

The only reason I'm even blogging right now is because (1) I'm bored, and (2) I'm obligated to do a daily blog post, so I figured I might as well get it out of the way.

I mean, I suppose I've made progress on Red Hood Rider, but I'm not sure what to really talk about. It's mainly worldbuilding and scriptwriting stuff, not to mention, prepping for drawing the next page. I wish I had more to say, but I really don't.

Sorry. I suck.

No real entry from me today, sorry. I got nuthin'.

Uhg, too tired to blog tonight. Watched Arsenic and Old Lace. Maintain that they don't make comedies the way they used to, because the acting there was top-notch and lines absolutely hilarious. Could mention the Monday film was Space Jam, but too tired for details there.

I'm just going to bed, and posting this tomorrow. (Also, computer restarted earlier, still dealing with that.)

Long day is long.