Danielle is both my pain and my anger. My bitterness, my resentment, my apathy.
She's more than that. Again, she's no malicious entity. She's benevolent and benign in her own ways, just tough love and selfish, with us as her top priority.
But she is amplified by pain and her anger feeds itself.
So please. Just go away.
Please disappear.
Danielle has the right to exist, to be sure, but she should never be venturing this dangerously close to fronting.
And yet, she is, because of how bad my pain is and her resulting anger that I am in pain. She is furious that I am in pain and wants to lash out at those causing the pain, despite how that would only make things worse.
So, to make things better...
...please...just...go away.
My pain.
Please, just disappear.
Leave me be.
I've got plenty to be happy about.
I’m depressed, but I shouldn’t be this badly hurting.
So please. Let me live life.
Let me be happy.
Let me do things my way.
Let the suffering go away.
Please.
I’m begging you.
I don’t want to cry again. Not tears of sadness at least.
I don’t want to feel any form of anger.
I just want to be who I am meant to be.
So please. Just...please. Go away.
Please.
And I don’t mean, go away by having me die.
Yes, I’m once again having suicidal thoughts.
I’m BAD bad today.
So I’m begging myself.
Please. Go away, pain. Haven’t I suffered enough? When will it be enough, the pain I’m going through? When will I have hurt enough?
I’ve paid my dues. I’ve gone through enough pain. Yes, I have made some terrible mistakes. And I deserve to feel bad for having done bad.
But not like this.
So please. Let me live.