All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

Standard Sunday Update

5/28/2017

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So last night, the timer I normally wake myself up using went missing. I don't know where it went, but I was forced to improvise (eh things coulda gone worse than they did), getting TWO alarm clocks set. (At least, in theory. Hard to say in practice.)

This, because my backup plan--other timers (yes, plural)--didn't work because BOTH had no hours function. Or more accurately, both had one which if it works I sure couldn't MAKE work, so basically the same thing ultimately. Timer's still missing as of this morning. I suspect my parents stole it when they left and absentmindedly forgot I actually USE and absolutely NEED that timer.

Yes, NEED.

Because my experience without it shows why.
'Cause, uh.
Yeah.
I ended up being woken up by a repeating ticking noise which SOUNDED like an alarm clock (albeit kinda sorta a weak one)...a full hour early. And every few minutes (almost like a snooze button was pressed), it would end up repeating itself. However, it couldn't have been either of the ones I actually set last night. How do I know?

Two reasons, actually. One, because waking up at 5 AM was in fact a full hour prior to 6 AM. Could it have been a mistake in settings? Nope! I checked both the alarm clocks I had actually set: they were both set to the proper times (both AM, both with the right hours), with their alarms where they should be (both at 6:00 AM). So it's not like one of them could have triggered itself early.

And two? Because I physically unplugged one alarm clock and turned the other one off. And I'm pretty sure off on that other alarm clock means OFF on that alarm clock so it couldn't really be the culprit at hand. And yet, I still mysteriously heard something like an alarm clock.

...This does lead to perhaps both fridge brilliance and horror: Brilliance? Now I have a possible explanation for why I'm sometimes randomly restless--because I quite literally get less rest thanks to a trigger. Horror? I have absolutely nothing within my power to change whatever it is that sound may be because I can't pinpoint it so if it's a recurring thing then I'm just stuck with it.

So you could say sleeping was fun. (God I'm so tired and I haven't even begun to work yet. Welp.) I did get a rather restful nap this morning though, albeit one which cut into my time for morning hygiene. (I combed my hair and shaved, so I won't suffer as badly on my dysphoria, but skipped brushing/flossing my teeth.)

Speaking of being in the bathroom though...I was there quite a bit both at home and here at work. Suspected culprit? Rice. I think my body reacts to rice similarly to how it reacts to Mexican food (especially tacos), that being: while I personally love the food, the taste being blissful, and would most definitely LIKE to have more...something about it utterly wrecks my digestive tract. (Which is already bad enough on its own.)

With my parents gone overnight I did have a different meal and balance (more creamer, more coffee, breakfast bowl microwaved frozen food rather than fried eggs), but I don't think that was an issue given I was suffering even before eating. If anything, I actually felt my breakfast today made me feel BETTER--not only better than I was, but better than I am normally. (I think it's probably because it's at least theoretically more balanced?)

It's also possible the two chocolate muffins these last couple of days (both Friday and Saturday) did it (we don't react well to chocolate, family genetic trait), but I actually doubt they did that much digestive damage, as it were. My sleep also could play a factor, but I was actually beginning to feel the disruption as early as last night, prior to bed, which indicates it was a problem already there.

Now that I'm done potentially giving TMI about my body, let's go on to describe my day thusfar. Good news! I discovered that the treadmills at work have heart monitors which actually work. I used to see their heart rate thing and wonder how the heck it worked, how sometimes it displayed and yet other times it was just blank.

Turns out the metal handles are actually with purpose, and there's some kind of sensors involved there, because by gripping them, that's how it gets the heart rate.

Bad news! Because to get the heart rate you have to grip the handles, you can't actually use proper running technique to run. You can monitor your heart rate at a walk, maybe even a jog, but faster than that you can't, making it basically worthless.

Worse news! I was still using it today, as I didn't feel up to a run...and here's the funny thing. According to the heart monitor. I am hilariously, HILARIOUSLY out of shape!

As in. According to the heart monitor, I had a heart rate of ~130. (Thereabouts anyway.) I believe that's beats per minute, though I don't know for sure. Doesn't really matter, because on the side panel of the treadmill, there's a heart monitor guide. It tells you different ages and different percentages of (presumably healthy) heart rate activity off of those percentages.

And according to the rating I got. Of 130. That's 65% of maximum.
65%.
Of.
My.
Maximum.
Allowed.
Healthy. Heartbeat.

And I was going.
Two.
Miles.
Per.
Hour.

As in. Half an hour to walk a mile.

And that's going at sixty-five percent of what my maximum is supposed to be.

Now!
Granted.

Things might not scale linearly. Just because 2 MPH had me at 130 doesn't mean 4 MPH would have me at 260.

Also granted!
The reading from the built-in monitor could have half a dozen ways it could have been wrong.

And also granted!
The guide given is probably written for the average person of my age, and thus cannot be realistically expected to deal with my unusual body type.

Butstill.

I think the heart monitor has at least some merit there.
And boy does that spell out just how hilariously bad I am at keeping my body in condition.

I also didn't perform as much as I'd like to. I walked one mile. That was it. I could walk two miles and still have time to spare. I largely wasted that extra time, too, since there was nothing to do past a certain point. (I mean, I did write this out, but otherwise. Almost a full hour.)

Ah well. At least in a followthrough to my entry yesterday: I think I'm okay? Among other reasons I think this, is that I believe I've discovered at least one of the subjects of the conversation yesterday. I'm preeeeeeeeetty sure my mom washed my jacket. It looked suspiciously clean; the pockets looked suspiciously changed in organization from what they were; it looked suspiciously positioned differently than I had left it. And I do keep secret stuff (such as a spare set of keys) in my pockets, so that would invoke some conversation.

If that's the extent of the topic, then yeah, nothing to worry about. We'll just have to see though.

All this, before work has begun. I'm once again surrounded by girls though, so I kinda suspect today will REALLY suck. Also, I still don't really know my family's plans for the holidays. I vaguely believe there might be some sort of family night tonight? And maybe nothing tomorrow? I know my sister's coming over today. But that's about all I know.
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