So I had my counseling appointment today. My counselor noted that I had a different feeling about me, essentially, which makes sense, given this weekend. He basically noted that I seemed to have a sense of hope, that I was more cheerful, and that I was thinking about things differently. All true, and all giving me further confidence that, yes, I'm going down the right path, smartly, intentionally.
...Of course, while this is certainly good news, still got to do work today, which won't exactly be fun. The first day back after a break never is, and this is going to be a late shift. The shift is such that there won't be much events in the pool, but general swim will probably be strong enough to be annoying. This is also a shift that it's been half a year at least since I was last on, so I'm a bit rusty on the protocol for the night. Basically, I have to figure out everything from scratch again, thanks to a lack of familiarity with the everything for the shift.
I still stand by my statement, too. This shift might be different from my others, but I feel like I'm going to be lifeguarding TOO much, especially at the same exact time. Sure, familiarity with the shift allows for me to competently handle routine tasks for that shift, but it also breeds conditions ripe for disaster--namely, because it's SO monotonous, and I'm doing it SO much, my performance as a lifeguard is going to suffer. I'm going to have a hard time focusing and being on top of the job, because I'm going to be stuck doing the same exact thing 32 or so times. (Four days a week, about 8 weeks.)
And while today's shift is at a different time, it's still going to suffer from job fatigue. While not AS monotonous, I'm still working way above the number of hours I wanted. (I wanted no more than a day's worth, which would be about 12 hours maximum.) I like lifeguarding. I don't like lifeguarding for THAT many hours. It's simply...so much of a drain on my life. I need to guard less to grow more. But I will endure. I won't quit the job, and I'll do what I can not to fail. If I end up making a mistake, then I should be able to muster up the courage to flat-out tell my boss that I'm working more hours than I feel I can handle as a guard, and that if they want me to work at full capacity, they should have me work the amount of hours I requested.
That being...one day. Not six. Or in short: quality over quantity. I'm human. I'm not a perfect guard, not by far. Heck, I've got a lot of flaws as a guard, even though I seem to do okay overall. So I wouldn't necessarily become a model lifeguard, but I'd definitely be able to do my job effectively. As-is, I'll try. I'm not going to intentionally sabotage my guarding. It's a job, a duty, an obligation, thus, I have to give it my full. But realistically, my "full" now over this many hours is going to be less than my full if I was working less, because I get exhausted. I get tired. I get fatigued. I know how I work. The greater amount of stress placed on me (and, for all the love I have of the job, lifeguarding does induce stress), the more my performance suffers. So the more I'm scheduled to work...the worse my work is going to be.
Anyway, about now would be the time I SHOULD be doing mafia stuff, but right now, I want to save it for night. Instead, I'm going to spend the hour or so I have before I need to leave on drawing.
Why?
Simple: math.
Assuming I maintain the rate of one page a day (no guarantee I do), then...well, page ten today (the fourth), gets page 22 done on the 16th...about the time I said I wanted to start releasing Red Hood Rider. If I was releasing Red Hood Rider in sketch, black-and-white form, no problem, but I envisioned it in color. So I need to get two pages in whenever I can.
Now, I still intend to keep my promise of balancing my life. So I'll still do my mafia stuff, as I said I would, today. I just will do it AFTER lifeguarding, not before. (Not like I'd have the time to finish the mafia stuff anyway.)
Soyeah. Gonna get to work, now. Got lots to do, not much time.
...Of course, while this is certainly good news, still got to do work today, which won't exactly be fun. The first day back after a break never is, and this is going to be a late shift. The shift is such that there won't be much events in the pool, but general swim will probably be strong enough to be annoying. This is also a shift that it's been half a year at least since I was last on, so I'm a bit rusty on the protocol for the night. Basically, I have to figure out everything from scratch again, thanks to a lack of familiarity with the everything for the shift.
I still stand by my statement, too. This shift might be different from my others, but I feel like I'm going to be lifeguarding TOO much, especially at the same exact time. Sure, familiarity with the shift allows for me to competently handle routine tasks for that shift, but it also breeds conditions ripe for disaster--namely, because it's SO monotonous, and I'm doing it SO much, my performance as a lifeguard is going to suffer. I'm going to have a hard time focusing and being on top of the job, because I'm going to be stuck doing the same exact thing 32 or so times. (Four days a week, about 8 weeks.)
And while today's shift is at a different time, it's still going to suffer from job fatigue. While not AS monotonous, I'm still working way above the number of hours I wanted. (I wanted no more than a day's worth, which would be about 12 hours maximum.) I like lifeguarding. I don't like lifeguarding for THAT many hours. It's simply...so much of a drain on my life. I need to guard less to grow more. But I will endure. I won't quit the job, and I'll do what I can not to fail. If I end up making a mistake, then I should be able to muster up the courage to flat-out tell my boss that I'm working more hours than I feel I can handle as a guard, and that if they want me to work at full capacity, they should have me work the amount of hours I requested.
That being...one day. Not six. Or in short: quality over quantity. I'm human. I'm not a perfect guard, not by far. Heck, I've got a lot of flaws as a guard, even though I seem to do okay overall. So I wouldn't necessarily become a model lifeguard, but I'd definitely be able to do my job effectively. As-is, I'll try. I'm not going to intentionally sabotage my guarding. It's a job, a duty, an obligation, thus, I have to give it my full. But realistically, my "full" now over this many hours is going to be less than my full if I was working less, because I get exhausted. I get tired. I get fatigued. I know how I work. The greater amount of stress placed on me (and, for all the love I have of the job, lifeguarding does induce stress), the more my performance suffers. So the more I'm scheduled to work...the worse my work is going to be.
Anyway, about now would be the time I SHOULD be doing mafia stuff, but right now, I want to save it for night. Instead, I'm going to spend the hour or so I have before I need to leave on drawing.
Why?
Simple: math.
Assuming I maintain the rate of one page a day (no guarantee I do), then...well, page ten today (the fourth), gets page 22 done on the 16th...about the time I said I wanted to start releasing Red Hood Rider. If I was releasing Red Hood Rider in sketch, black-and-white form, no problem, but I envisioned it in color. So I need to get two pages in whenever I can.
Now, I still intend to keep my promise of balancing my life. So I'll still do my mafia stuff, as I said I would, today. I just will do it AFTER lifeguarding, not before. (Not like I'd have the time to finish the mafia stuff anyway.)
Soyeah. Gonna get to work, now. Got lots to do, not much time.
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