Well, to follow through on yesterday...I noticed something. My senses always have been sharp, but yesterday, they felt extra-sensitive. The air wasn't cold to anyone else, but because it was still below ideal temperature, I was cold. Normally, I'm not sensitive enough to notice, but for some reason, I was then.
My sense of taste was stronger, too. Tonight I ate leftover pizza...the same exact leftover pizza I had...oh, I believe Monday. (Which, in hindsight, is when I first started my episode, I believe.) It was a lot more delicious tonight. The exact opposite of what it should have been. It tasted bland, dull, and flavorless a few days prior, and was great tonight, backwards to my expectations. Smell was also stronger, albeit not in a good way. Meaning, I was more sensitive to odors than normal. Increased ability to pick up on bad scents, not exactly the best thing in the world, but it was strongly noticeable.
My hearing is what ultimately served to truly tip me off, though. I thought my increased annoyance to sounds was just my misophonia growing stronger (because, well...it has been getting stronger), but...then I listened to music, and realized I was hearing aspects of songs I had never picked up on before, in spite of literally-identical acoustics to normal.
My ears have always been extra-sensitive and sharp enough to pick up on those subtle details, but this is something I usually have to intentionally do, and because it's always there, I've generally operated under the assumption I've picked up basically every detail there is to pick up. Yet yesterday...they felt extra-sharp.
So, apparently, depression is a mixed message, giving a small gift at terrible cost. Interesting to say the least, piqued my curiosity about the biology behind depression, makes me feel slightly better about suffering from bipolar disorder, but I'd still rather be done with it. And on that note, I can say that I'm feeling better today, so...should be out of it soon enough.
My sense of taste was stronger, too. Tonight I ate leftover pizza...the same exact leftover pizza I had...oh, I believe Monday. (Which, in hindsight, is when I first started my episode, I believe.) It was a lot more delicious tonight. The exact opposite of what it should have been. It tasted bland, dull, and flavorless a few days prior, and was great tonight, backwards to my expectations. Smell was also stronger, albeit not in a good way. Meaning, I was more sensitive to odors than normal. Increased ability to pick up on bad scents, not exactly the best thing in the world, but it was strongly noticeable.
My hearing is what ultimately served to truly tip me off, though. I thought my increased annoyance to sounds was just my misophonia growing stronger (because, well...it has been getting stronger), but...then I listened to music, and realized I was hearing aspects of songs I had never picked up on before, in spite of literally-identical acoustics to normal.
My ears have always been extra-sensitive and sharp enough to pick up on those subtle details, but this is something I usually have to intentionally do, and because it's always there, I've generally operated under the assumption I've picked up basically every detail there is to pick up. Yet yesterday...they felt extra-sharp.
So, apparently, depression is a mixed message, giving a small gift at terrible cost. Interesting to say the least, piqued my curiosity about the biology behind depression, makes me feel slightly better about suffering from bipolar disorder, but I'd still rather be done with it. And on that note, I can say that I'm feeling better today, so...should be out of it soon enough.
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