Never know, could always be cancelled, but we're planning one for later tonight.
In the mean time.

I guess I can talk about other stuff.

Not much new in League, still haven't played it. I mean, I guess I could, I just prefer to do things which allow me to multitask and that wouldn't allow me to multitask. I've played TFT already today and don't feel like playing more.

I guess I can talk about Minecraft some. Have I done that on this blog before? Well, my girlfriend got me into Minecraft, you see.

Right now I am working on various things.

I need to expand my farms so that I have enough wheat to instantly get to 64. This is both so that I can trade wheat at a nearby village (I believe there's a farmer there at all times and I believe he buys wheat so...free emeralds if I get the farm going), and also so that I can make bunches of haybales. (I like to leave signal fires whenever I go exploring on the surface. Eats up a lot of wheat.)

I recently had an unfortunate incident where I dropped into lava and lost everything--I THINK that I've replenished everything I lost, but I had diamond equipment which means I used up like half my diamonds to restock my diamond equipment and right now I really really really want to get those diamonds back. (Still have 28, but I had like 48 before.)

My mine has NUMEROUS areas which need to be explored. My mine was designed to take a sharp right turn, because moving forward would've taken it into a fullblown cave system--I am TRYING to explore that fullblown cave system, see if I can torch it up until there's nothing left unlit, but right now there's one area of it which opens up into an unexplored area that I can't get to without mining some blocks and the main cave splits off into two areas I haven't explored because I ran out of torches. (I use torches liberally--mostly so that I can actually SEE in the caves. Like, I know that you only need torches every, what, 14 blocks or so? That they can be widely spaced and not have mobs spawn. But like. My vision is junky enough where I need torches every like 3, 4 blocks or else I can't see a bloody thing. In a cave system, I can see a little better, but not much. It's still like every 8 blocks or so I need torches to see everything.)

In my mine, there is a ravine--this ravine has a lot of things which could be explored, but most of them involve going through an ocean's worth of water. (No, really. Water which goes dozens of blocks down and up with no end in sight, in the middle of a cave system.) This ravine also has an area which goes into a second ravine, and that second ravine I haven't explored much at all.

I recently expanded my mine a lot--and in doing so, I discovered what is probably one big gigantic cave system but which could in theory just be like. 3, 4, 5, or so, different smaller cave systems. These cave systems are marked by polished stones of various kinds (mostly polished diorite), although I've also taken to using polished diorite to seal off lava/water dead ends to passageways I mine (where lava/water begin flowing in and I need to quickly seal off the mine).

But I mean. I have a fairly good idea where most of these are, especially when the polished stones are beneath rather than in front. There's like, probably, a good few dozen lava source blocks. Not flowing lava blocks. Source lava blocks. Oh and on that note--I need eight obsidian to finish my netherportal. I spent a lot of time setting up my netherportal area, but while I have half the obsidian I need to make a netherportal, the other half I don't have.

I need to spend a little time on creating concrete (my material of choice for the area) to finish the aesthetics of the netherportal area (it is like 98% done if using one material, but still has 2% I didn't change), and also mentally map out which parts I want to keep as polished diorite.

At some point, I have no clue HOW I could do it, but if it's possible, I want to make an aquarium. Where I have glass blocks surrounding water, with fish and other non-hostile mobs within. I also want to build something which has the obvious aesthetic of a sauna--I built something with the aesthetic of a beach; I built something which has the aesthetic of a hot tub; I built something which has the aesthetic of a pool. A sauna would be the next logical step. I know what I want to do (the pool basically has an offshoot area which goes into the inside of a mountain, the idea would be to just put the sauna inside there), but it'll take a ton of work especially since I'm not quite sure how precisely to execute it and it'll take a lot of resources, namely, smooth stone slabs, glass, lava, and materials for firepits. (My basic idea is to put lava inside the walls and underneath the floor, augmented by smoke signals, but I haven't figured out the block-by-block exact schematics yet.)

Another thing I want to do: figure out a way to explore on the surface and NOT manage to either loop around back to my house, or have my exploration path lead to the castle which is the house of someone else. (I've gone out on adventure three times. Twice, going in LITERALLY OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS, polar opposite, facing exactly 180 degrees traversing opposite ways on the terrain, I somehow pathed to the same castle. Once, when I tried a different angle, a third from the area, I ended up looping to my house.)

There's a bunch of things that I eventually want to work towards. There's a bunch of things that I want to eventually look up to see about implementing. I know that you can make some incredible things in minecraft, e.g. farms for resources that you normally can't farm for, or which are harder to farm for, or which are inconvenient to farm for, and so on and so forth.

I am not going to be amazing enough to make anything like that.

But like.

I want to make a ton of good things. Mostly. Stuff that you make once, then never use again; stuff you make/do for achievements; stuff which you try to see if it can work. But more than all of those. Things which I feel like making, to suit my aesthetical tastes. I've made stuff like a fountain, a water well, the aforementioned beach/pool/hot tub, stuff like that.

Things which whenever they strike my fancy, I make them. Mind you, I can only think of so many ideas without seeing others play and see what they do. (Visiting the castle/house in that sense isn't a total waste of time since in theory I could come up with new ideas from there--though currently, I can't think of anything I'd want to make, after visiting there.)

Like, I watched a stream where a person decided to make a combined mine/house, and went through the effort of figuring out how to grow trees underground. (Which is difficult--not impossible! But, difficult.) And used glass to make the underground trees look like a garden. I loved it--I didn't really think that glass would do much good for my farms, beit tree farms or actual farms, but that idea is the kind of idea which would inspire me.

Not to make a carbon copy of the idea (like I said, I strongly considered from that idea, adapting it to my farm for various foodstuff, even if I decided against it ultimately), but to get inspiration from the idea. Might also just browse the wiki on items and such, see what they build, see what effects they have, and from that get some inspirations. (For instance, one thing which I got inspired from the wiki was making artificial waterfalls which not only look aesthetically neat but also act as a mob defense because no mob can pass through them apparently.)

I mean, lots of this stuff sounds boring. It's not really boring to me, though the process is often tedious. Do you know how much wood I have to farm to pull these things off? Each project I undertake probably takes me like...a thousand wood total. Maybe much more, but I really don't think that's ever an overestimate.

Getting the materials is thus tedious because it's grinding and grinding and grinding and grinding.

But while the setup is tedious, the actual process never is. It's not boring for me, it's fun to be doing those things and kinda relaxing. I also get to multitask a ton when doing so, because I can do things other than minecraft, while also doing minecraft. 

Like, I know it sounds stupid, but who knew? In a game called Minecraft, when you're just relaxing by doing nothing but mining, it's actually...well. Relaxing. Soothing. Nice. Fun. It's actually annoying when something forces that to stop, rather than exciting. (This would be why my mine is probably gigantic compared to most people's mines. Because I mine to mine, rather than to uncover caves, rather than to uncover mineshafts, rather than to uncover adventures.)

Cutting wood can be similar, but is a little more tedious than mining. Mining, your main tedious things are making return trips with full inventory, what I call 'crosshatching' the strip mine, crafting more torches, and on rare occasions crafting more pickaxes. Those four things don't happen often.

Wood requires a little more micromanagement. Instead of just having one tool out at all times which you're always using, you need to switch between the ax for wood and anything else which doesn't have durability for the leaves; leaves take an annoyingly long time to break and the only way to do them quickly (that I know of) is shears which have durability ate up and give you a material less useful than the materials which would otherwise naturally drop. (Basically, shears drop leaves rather than apples/sticks/seeds, and shears run out faster than even a wooden ax does with junk durability. So you have to get rid of the leaves which block you from cutting wood, by spending time breaking each leaf in the way.)

Plus, you still have to drop your supplies off, and daylight running out means you need to sleep. (You can mine through the night since monsters can't spawn in the well-lit mine. You'd have to be brave to chop wood through the night, since monsters do spawn on the surface--I've lit the place up well enough where there's a 99.99% chance they shouldn't spawn due to the light, but I've been blown up by a creeper which spawned basically RIGHT next to my house, in a spot I THOUGHT was safe. So I always assume danger even if by all rights it should be safe.)

Still, both activities, mining and chopping wood, are still things which I get enjoyment out of by just doing casually.

Anyway.

This was a good timekiller.

Gonna go do something else now.

We're watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Believe it or not--I've never seen it before.
Yes, really!
I've never seen it before!
I'd have loved to have seen it! My lack of seeing it wasn't out of any aversion to it, it's just that...it was never available to me in any way shape or form. I've always wanted to see it, I just never had the ability to see it.

I have read just about every single spoiler possible for the series due to TVTropes.
Mind you.
Read, does not equal, remember.
I do not remember most of them, but I have read them all.

So like. I in THEORY know almost everything there is to know about it--but nothing quite beats seeing the actual show in person and it is amazing. <3

​We've finished the first season and we'd do more if I didn't need to go to bed because so tired...

Which means bed!
I will quickly mention--I said Sanguine Blade would be OP if Riot didn't gut the item.
They nerfed it.
100 extra gold, and at all levels 20% less attack speed.
100 extra gold, not a real nerf.
20% less attack speed at all levels, a rather considerable hit to the earlygame spike--going from +40% attack speed to +20% is halving the earlygame power of the item, but does place it in BotRK territory. (BotRK is 25 I believe.) Lategame at 80% tho still means 30% more than any other item in the game. Not the double it was before, but still such a big lead that do I still think Sanguine Blade is a must buy in almost every game for an ad champ?

Yes, yes I do. This change takes it from a 99% must buy, to like...a 95% must buy. Yeah there's now more situations where it's not as good to buy but this nerf to it is such a small nerf that it's still ridiculously OP as an item. This wasn't gutting the item and the only way to keep it from being OP is to GUT the item, so. Still OP, we'll have to see if Riot realizes their nerf wasn't enough of one.

Oops.
Was probably just going to be a blog about League anyway. Topical, the new item Sanguine Blade.
Legit realtalk: I think that if Riot leaves it as-is and doesn't either remove it or gut it, that in season ten it will be a must-buy of literally every AD champion in the game, Ashe included--as either their first or second item, but no later than their third.

It is ridiculously cheap. It costs only 3,000 gold--for comparison, Blade of the Ruined King, an item which works very very similarly, costs an extra 200 gold.

It gives 50 attack damage--again, for comparison, Blade of the Ruined King, a more expensive item, gives only 40.

It gives 15% lifesteal at all times--again, for comparison, Blade of the Ruined King, a more expensive item, has only 12%.

In a 1v1, it gives the highest attack speed of any item in the game--the highest of another item is 50%, but at a high enough level, Sanguine Blade can give 100%. How ridiculous is that boost? Some champions who have abilities which increase attack speed (I believe Kennen might have one, Kled definitely has one, and oh yeah...Ashe does, too! As a far from complete list), can with JUST Sanguine Blade and literally no other attack speed item (and no attack speed runes!), begin to get close to the natural attack speed cap. Add in, sayyy, Blade of the Ruined King and Runaan's Hurricane as an example, and you're basically at it regardless of champion. (I don't think there's any champion where those three items or similar doesn't take you to like 2.4 or so in a 1v1 duel.)

It also gives lethality. I admit--I actually don't have a clue how lethality works. Apparently, lethality basically works as armor pen?

Okay so what that means is basically, the main thing you'd build to try and counter sanguine blade's lifesteal, a brambleback vest building into thornmail? Sanguine blade helps puncture through anyway. (If what my 30 second google of what lethality is, is correct, at least.) An item giving lethality (which apparently works as armor pen), and lifesteal, and the highest attack speed in the game.

You can counter individual elements of that. You can't counter all three.

And again.

It's cheaper than the similar item, Blade of the Ruined King. BotRK does give a couple things that Sanguine Blade doesn't--the active is a big one, and the passive max health damage to help shred through HP bars are among them. I legit think that Sanguine Blade shouldn't replace Blade of the Ruined King, but rather augment it, with both being built for anyone who is looking to splitpush/duel in 1v1s. 

Basically, pfft, Spear of Shojin was broken? Hah. Sanguine Blade is ten times more broken than Spear of Shojin ever was. They could gut it because it's preseason, there's still time to radically nerf the item into oblivion--but as is, the item is just so ridiculously broken on just about any champion who deals most of their damage through autoattacks (or abilities which don't use AP, abilities which scale with attack damage).

Ashe included.

Which is again, why I want to try it out. I'm again, not sure when it should be built. I'm thinking that those three items are in fact my core Ashe items, Runaan's, BotrK, and Sanguine Blade. The question isn't if to build them, it's what order to build them in. (After that, depends on my runes. If I'm running my for fun lifesteal troll runes, then Bloodthirster comes next and I finish with Mercurial Scimitar, with boots of course being Mobi boots because I hit the attack speed cap without Berserkers. If I'm playing more seriously, probably Essence Reaver into Trinity Force, again with Mobi boots, for the CDR, mana, and 50% crit.)

The only reason I can think of to not run those three items is if I am instead running the new energized items. RFC+Statikk Shiv + Stormrazor gives 75% crit and every energized effect in the game, which Riot just reworked, and quite a bit of attack speed. And even then, while I probably wouldn't build all three of those items, I'd still probably build 1-2 of them. (Honestly, I don't actually know what to build for the Energized Items build beyond the three. I'd have to see what the attack speed is to see what boots to use, for instance.)

Mind you. Is the three item combo unbeatable? Oh heck no. Someone as incompetent as I am can screw it up and die, repeatedly, especially when I go into 1v2s or 2v2s where Sanguine Blade doesn't have the extra attack speed/lethality. I am not a good player.

But do I think that Sanguine Blade basically will be such a good item that it's trolling to not try and build it except in very specific situational builds? (Like, obviously, there will always be times where you need six specific items in tandem with one another and Sanguine Blade could feasibly not be among them for that very specific time.) I do. There will always be specific times where building it isn't possible for various reasons, but in 90+% of situations, it's just such a good item that it's a must buy for every ad character who autoattacks/uses abilities that scale with ad.

I've celebrated by playing some TFT ranked.
It's kinda annoying that everyone starts off at Iron IV. Was expecting placement games could get you higher, but nope. I finished first in one, second in two, and fourth in two more--ranks which're "you never lose LP" placements, and yet, in spite of those placements, I went 53 LP from Iron IV (initial placement) to Iron III (second game) to Iron II (third game) to Iron I (fourth game) to Bronze IV with 53 LP (final placement game).

So basically everyone starts in Iron and how good you do in a game, how good you place, doesn't make a difference--so long as you're not losing LP, you will climb in rank naturally each and every single game, apparently.

And, yes. I did place that well, in ranked, so many games in a row. I am good at TFT. I basically invented the strong meta synergies/item combos for the new champions. Like, when I first started playing them, I was the only one running them. Then within a couple of days, everyone was running what I ran, because I was just that quick in discovering the broken combos.

Plus I'm good at adapting on the fly; I've been practicing that a lot.

I do have losing streaks, where the highest I'll place is 5th with lots of 6ths, 7ths, and occasionally eights, but I also have long periods of winning streaks, where the lowest I'll place is 4th and I almost always go first, second, or third. And those 8ths/7ths/6ths/5ths are USUALLY because some prick STOLE my comp after I had committed to making it. (And I do mean, STOLE. I check all seven boards, looking at their units both on the field and on their bench. And when they don't have units from my comp by like 2-5...and then suddenly by like 3-3 they're running an almost identical comp to mine...it's incredibly infuriating because they KNEW I was running my comp and had to have DELIBERATELY chosen to screw me over by taking MY champions.)
And/or, I commit to a lategame comp and am knocked out before I can bring it online, rather than playing to a safer comp which might not win but which is guaranteed to do well earlier on. (Fun fact, that's the way to never lose. If you play a "safe" comp which you know is outscaled by other comps later on, but which can get you a ton of wins in the stages 2-3 range, then you have enough health to basically tank loss after loss in the midgame which gets you a natural ~4th placement.)

Basically when I lose it's mostly due to a combination of bad luck, bad decision making, and some prick going out of their way to knowingly and deliberately screw me over. (And the proof of this; I can run the EXACT same comp with the EXACT same tile type on the field with the EXACT same units with the EXACT same items, two games in a row, where some prick deliberately screwed me over in the first game and I did poorly, and then in that second game utterly CRUSH everyone with the comp I made, because in the second game there wasn't a prick who deliberately stole my units from me to try to--and usually succeed at--screw me over.)

When I don't lose, it's very rarely due to getting god-tiered luck. Almost all of my wins are not close 50/50s where I could lose. Almost all of my wins are not because I magically got the exact items I needed and wanted to use. (Quite the opposite, I almost never get any of the items I use and while I PLAN for the optimal items, I almost always am expecting to get none of them.) I get lousy rolls on champions, lousy items for my comp, but I make smart decisions and even if someone tries to run my comp, I run it better than they do. Them running it usually means I finish in like 4th rather than first, but on most matches I still do that well.

And I don't think that's ego. I don't think that's pure luck. I play Teamfight Tactics every day. Usually playing 5+ matches, every single day. Sometimes I might play only one or two games on a day, but then I might plan ten games on a day. I play the game a lot. I have a few comps I default to (Predator 4 is my favorite, building into Steel 2 Crystal 2 Glacial 2 and eventually bridging into potentially Assassin 3 and/or Berserker 3, but with many variants on the comp, e.g. Energy 3, Glacial 4; another frequent is the Mage-Ocean-Mountain-Warden combo, Inferno into Summoner 6, and also the Berserker/Glacial combo, and also the Warden 6 comps although those are more of a niche situational "usually won't win but is worth a try sometimes" combo), and weirdly enough, most of them didn't get nerfed.

In fact, most of their counters got nerfed. 

But while there's only a few comps that I really tend to default to.

The simple truth of the matter is.

I run them because they work, and they work reliably so. They work consistently. They work well in almost every game. There are a few outliers where they won't work. Where they are countered; where someone is a prick and takes your champions, screwing you over; where you have dismal rolls and in spite of having an early game strongly telling you "run this comp!", you can't complete it because something which is a key part of the comp refuses to spawn for you. But most of the times. They just...get you pretty dang far.

So it's a case of "don't fix what's not broken"--in this case, being, I don't need to run something else I'm less comfortable with, when I know the things I normally run can, do, and will work. Especially since so many of them are flexible. I had a game where I had like six or so different possible final comps to run. (Mind you, with that hodgepodge of everything from the getgo, I was like, "I don't know what to run and I imagine this lack of direction won't let me get too far". I wasn't entirely wrong.) I did eventually settle on a comp, and did place like fifth that game, but that wasn't a comp even remotely close to what I normally would run, I was just playing around with "this might work", and it kinda sorta did.

I guess this would be to put it in context, similar to someone who is basically a onetrick for a champion in League, but who doesn't dodge when their champion is banned/picked by the enemy team and doesn't dodge when their favorite champion is hard-countered by the enemy champion--instead, they simply go..."well, damn. Guess I won't be playing that champion. I'll just play a different champion!", and then they do just as well as they do on their onetrick champion.

Where they are a good player not just on their onetrick, but in general, with them just having a preference (not requirement) to play a specific champion. I have specific comps that I prefer to run, and I know that they work and are good, but I can run other comps when need be, I just most of the time don't need to run those other comps. I can do so and have proven I can do so, but comfort picks still seem to work well.

On the note about League, I actually really want to play more games now with the preseason changes on Summoner's Rift. I want to maybe try out support Ashe with the new AD support item, though I'm not quite sure how to play support effectively. (Mind you, I don't really know how to play anything effectively, but support especially so.) I also love the addition of Sanguine Blade because of my trollish love of lifesteal and want to see where it might fit in to my pocket pick builds. Plus, the rework of Energized/Crit items means there's a bunch of combos which seem fun to try out. Including maybe actually pulling out the Fleet Footwork Stormrazor/RFC/Statikk Shiv combo and then pushing as close to the attack speed max as possible without exceeding it.

That having been said.

I actually did play some games on Saturday, before the changes went live.

And there's something unfortunate about this.

I am an Ashe one-trick. (Well, I call myself an Ashe half-trick, because one-trick implies competency at the one champion and that champion only, whereas I am incompetent regardless of champion, it's just that Ashe is the champion which gives me the highest chances of maybe just maybe possibly potentially having some semblance of not looking as incompetent as I truly am.)

In back to back games on Saturday, Ashe was banned.

What did I do when Ashe my only real champion was banned?

Why, the only sensible thing to do when your one-trick champion has been banned out!

...I played Full AD/Lifesteal Vladimir!

...Unsurprisingly, my scoreline was dismal. In both games my K/DA was like 2/14 or thereabouts.

What might surprise you is to learn that I wasn't smashed in those games.
How could I have such a dismal scoreline in those games and yet not have been smashed?

Well, that's where things get interesting.
From my understanding, Vladimir is one of the strongest lategame champions in the game, a monster in, say, a teamfight, where he can singlehandedly obliterate the entire enemy team and is ridiculously hard to kill. So I thought that he'd be smashed earlygame.

Except, with the full AD lifesteal build on him, in the level 1-4 range, I was crushing my opposition. In one instance, we won a 2v3! Twice! (Maybe more, that game had the enemy "jungler" want to play adc, and the actual adc refuse to let that happen, sooooo.) Mind you, in the first game those were basically the only kills I got to my name and in the second game I didn't so much as once get a kill from this pressure, BUT.

I was still forcing my opponents to recall even if I wasn't killing them. They had to recall--whereas I could stay in lane without recalling. No mana, and my health would be up to maximum before they could make their way back to lane. So in the early game, I was crushing them.

Mind you, past that point, from level 5 onwards, their adc had the damage to kill me which is where half my deaths in both games came from, but that still gave us earlygame lane dominance--enough earlygame dominance where we could've theoretically with better coordination/planning taken objectives like Dragons. (We had some bad timing where we were applying pressure just as our jungler was backing, and our jungler was botlane just as we were in base, so we couldn't synchronize that and make it transition into an objective, unfortunately.)

And here's another interesting tidbit--almost the entirety of both games, I was either ahead or even in cs with my lane opponent. I was ahead, or even, in cs, with my lane opponent. I died 14 times. The enemy adc most definitely did not. Given that I was constantly in the death chamber and they were not, and yet I was in spite of those deaths which they didn't have, even or ahead in cs, that means I was comparatively speaking, actually csing better than the enemy adcarry was!

Plus, it wasn't like we were getting creamed even when we died. We traded blow for blow, objective for objective. They got a turret plate, we got a turret plate, they got two turret plates, we got three turret plates. They took first tower, we obliterated them and turned it into mapwide dominance.

In turret plating gold we had to be almost even; in cs I was either ahead or even. Yeah, they probably had more gold due to kills (and in one case probably also Kleptomancy from the enemy adc--because on Saturday that wasn't yet removed, obv), but the pressure I was applying meant that it almost didn't seem that way.

While I was utterly worthless in teamfights (that'd be where the other half of my deaths came from; attempting to group up with my team and fight when I was ill-suited to the task of helping my team in any way shape or form), in a more splitpush orientated setup, I was excelling. In one case, I tower dove, 1v2!

That's right.

I went under THE ENEMY'S TURRET. Took TURRET AGGRO. I STARTED THE FIGHT AT HALF HP. Against TWO TARGETS AT FULL HP. I at half health. Against two full health opponents under their turrets. Engaged in a 1v2. Suicidal, right? Except it WASN'T.

I mean, I screwed up and died in a situation where I very easily could've lived, but I killed one of them and almost killed the second, only being killed by taking extra turret shots I had zero need to have taken, thinking I was already dead before I actually was, not using spells I could've used, not using my item I could've used, and misclicking. Generally mismanaging the situation in the worst way possible, and in spite of that utter incompetence on my part, I almost still won the 1v2 and it was still trading EVEN in the 1v2.

Given that I was like 0/12 at the time.
And that this was the enemy support/adc who I needed to keep busy, keep preoccupied, keep distracted.
That was something which was well worth it. I had no business doing as well as I did there, and yet I somehow actually did do that well.

Heck, while we did lose the first game, that was due to our toplaner dcing and us being in a 4v5 until we could surrender, not because of getting smashed. We were going mostly while it was a 5v5; it was very much winnable until the 4v5 put us in a basically unwinnable situation. And that second game? We actually won!

Mind you, I'm not gonna pretend that my team won in any part due to my efforts. I don't think they won in spite of me, but I also don't think they won because of me. As I said before--the pressure I applied in what amounted to a pseudo-splitpush style was something that my team was able to take advantage of. They got massive gold leads and were often able to capitalize on situations I created openings on. Even when I died I often put the enemy team in a situation where my team was propped up to win a fight, take an objective, and so on and so forth.

They did 90% of the work, but I still feel like what I did helped them get set up to where they could do that work. And let's be honest; that's basically what I do on Ashe anyway because I am incompetent as a player and not good at being an adc who hard carries.

So all in all, basically, it wasn't all that much different from my play in any given Ashe game. I went in with the mindset of "we're going to lose this anyway so might as well have some fun", and it was incredibly fun even if it was incredibly trollish. (I did more or less get the consent of my teammates for this tho where I warned them that I'm an Ashe onetrick, Ashe was banned, and if they wanted to win the game they better dodge because I wasn't willing to dodge and with Ashe banned I wasn't going to fulfill the role of carry. They didn't dodge, so they by proxy accepted the challenge!)

That tangent over.

What I was saying was.
Ashe got banned back to back in games.
And I know why.

Everyone wants to play Senna, the new champion who was recently released.
Ashe is, apparently, a counter to Senna. (From my understanding, it has to do with her hawkshot revealing the exact champion silhouettes of wraiths, possibly also due to Volley obviously being able to hit them.)

Since literally everyone wants to play Senna.

And since Ashe is apparently an adc counter to Senna.

Everyone who wants to play Senna, bans Ashe.
And in both the back to back games the enemy team wanted to play Senna.

Which is ridiculous in my opinion; Ashe just got a pretty significant nerf which basically forces you to if you want to play her seriously go the meta arcane comet path for manaflow band (or have sorcery as a second for it) and go ER/Trinity Force as early items because she runs out of mana way too quickly now. That nerf would you think make her be banned less, but given the new champion which Ashe apparently inherently counters...

...Yeah.

Preseason's release does nothing to remove that. Senna hype will eventually die down (especially when she is inevitably given the Yuumi treatment and receives nerf after nerf to gut her because Riot will go, "Senna's being played in every role except for support, when we designed her to be support? WE GOTTA FIX THAT!"), but it's not going to have died down just yet.

So for the next couple of weeks or so, I'm probably still going to see a ton of those Ashe bans which means in spite of me really wanting to test out some new item builds (Sanguine Blade is kinda OP as an item and as a lifesteal item is RIGHT up the alleyway of my favorite pocket pick for fun build on Ashe; legit think it could potentially possibly replace Blade of the Ruined King as a first item due to it giving similar dueling abilities but even if BorK is bought first Sanguine Blade can augment it perfectly), I probably won't get the chance to for a while.

I've got things to blog about, I just need to blog earlier because too tired right now.

I had all the time in the world to make a blog entry and probably could have made one, too.
Except I didn't even think about making a blog until I was getting ready for bed. (Specifically I was seconds from heading to bed before I remembered, "oh, whoops".)

OH WELL.

I'll make a blog entry which is a real blog entry soon enough. Hopefully.

Constantly tired, no real energy.
​God I suck.

...But other times not so much.
​And right now, I'm just...so tired.

Not exactly. I just...want to retreat inside myself. To live in the world in my head, rather than the world outside of it.

I'm just...low energy.
Low motivation.
The things that I love to do, I am actively trying to make excuses to avoid doing--and as a result. When I don't do them.
I tell myself that I suck, that I'm terrible, that I'm all those bad things I say about myself. Liar. Fraud. Failure. And so on and so forth. That I'm just...not good in any way shape or form.

And because I have those feelings.

I want to run away from those.

To run away from those feelings, I retreat deeper and deeper into myself where I don't feel like doing those things...and that makes them worse. It's just...

...I just.

Want to. I dunno. Not, "not exist".
So much as.
Exist as I envision, rather than exist as I am.
​Because there is nothing in what I am that is worth existing in.