All Too Human
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Chronic health issues are debilitating.

4/23/2023

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I've said it elsewhere but to say it on my blog:

I've gotten bad issues which are hugely chronic.

My family has always had the issue of getting up causing loss of vision/dizziness/etc. when standing up and moving too fast.

In recent times what I have had has gotten worse.

One thing is that during the night, it feels like something which shouldn't be stopping--either my heart or my breathing--is stopping while I am asleep...and my body jolts awake because it needs to in order to resume the normal rhythm. This isn't a consistent thing but happens multiple times per week on average, about twice per week or so I reckon. And, no, it's not my tongue relaxing because I sleep exclusively on my side (I basically sleep in The Recovery Position. No really, the exact position you're trained to roll people into is the position I naturally sleep in and since that position is literally designed to protect the airway...), so it's something automatic shutting off which shouldn't shut off.

Another is occasionally rapid heartbeat even when resting, but especially after having gotten up, where my heartbeat shoots up by 20-40 b/pm.
Another is severe throbbing pain headaches, after having gotten up but lingering even once sitting down. Regardless of hydration/sleep/caffeine intake.
Another is loss of vision after going fully upright--I can be bent over, and just standing up straight can cause this; I can be sitting, and getting up causes this.
And then there's the chronic "I feel like I'm about to pass out", where I literally zone out, basically black out, which has been REALLY bad this week.

I was literally passing out. I've had it four days in a row badly, including today. I literally was falling asleep unwillingly. This has been a huge issue which has been getting worse and worse and it's more and more dangerous. (Because when it hits while I'm driving...)
And then there's the nausea I've been getting recently.
And then there's the severe dizziness/loss of balance/feeling like the world is spinning, after getting up, after activity, etc.

All of these seem to worsen with physical activity.
Some of them get better in certain conditions, but they're never going away. Every day has at least one of the issues, but it's all random. I can't do it on command.

So like...idk what's wrong with me. The doctors have no clue.
Cardiology has no clue.

My doctor did a basic metabolic panel, troponin, tsh, a comprehensive metabolic panel, a hemogram, and an ekg. The hemogram had a few things too low, but that was it. (I didn't get iron tested, but the doctor didn't think that my test results indicated an iron deficiency. Still, to appease my whining, my follow-through test had that added to the list.)
The cardiologist ordered an echocardiogram, and also is mailing a 1-week heart monitor thingamajig to me to wear and get data.

Tests, tests, tests. Followthrough followthrough followthrough. But they have no clue.

It's an issue, it's not going away, it's often getting worse, it's chronic, and I am very frustrated dealing with it. I struggle to function at work, when driving, when trying to game...it's making existence exhausting.

I literally went to bed last night due to blacking out for 20 minutes, so like...what's wrong with me.


All that said.
I've had a decent day today.
I got caught up in discords (although by their nature I can't keep up all day).
I posted on CF.
Didn't post on mafia, but will get to that tomorrow.
I'll need to bring supplies to shower tomorrow, to save water here at home.

Uh, I started art but need to keep doing more.

I've begun using a cream for breast growth, dunno if it will work but who knows, worth a try.
I need to make my coffee for tomorrow.
I need to do my best to stay afloat.

Probably need to schedule followthrough bloodwork, since the last test was at the end of last month, and this month is almost over.

Uh, anything else?

I dunno.

​I'm having A Time, but like--gotta keep doing my best to live.
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    rBree2

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