So my entire family at home is sick except for me, and that got me thinking about a theory of mine. Basically...all of them are sick, and have been sick, one after another, consecutively, for a prolonged period of time, stopping, then getting sick again. Yet never once have I been touched.
...Or...have I? I never got the symptoms that we'd recognize as being sick, but that doesn't mean I haven't been. Because I've noticed some problems of my own I've been having--mainly, a SEVERE lack of appetite, and also extreme indigestion; whenever I do eat, the food isn't getting processed as well as it should be. (I'll leave it at that to avoid TMI.)
...So my theory goes, what if I actually AM sick? Just...that's how it manifests in me. It'd actually make sense. As good as I am at avoiding contact, I'm not THAT good. I've been exposed, and I've got awful hygiene, so it's not like I can magically wash away those germs. They're going to overrun me, yet...I'm asymptomatic. Unless my symptoms are more subtle things.
If my sickness manifests as problems eating, then it makes sense that I otherwise appear healthy. I'd still be sick, but not showing the obvious signs, so on the surface looking good.
...Of course, there IS the more mundane solution: another cause of appetite loss is depression, which I'm going through right now. The signs are subtle, but present: avoidance, lack of drive, lack of passion, heck, you need only see me not live-updating my blog to see this! But it applies to all aspects of my life, most debilitatingly my creative life. Yet the largest sign of all?
I wrote a song today.
...Yes, that's a sign.
I NEVER write songs unless I'm in the middle of depression.
Especially not a song like the one I made. Here, give it a listen.
...Or...have I? I never got the symptoms that we'd recognize as being sick, but that doesn't mean I haven't been. Because I've noticed some problems of my own I've been having--mainly, a SEVERE lack of appetite, and also extreme indigestion; whenever I do eat, the food isn't getting processed as well as it should be. (I'll leave it at that to avoid TMI.)
...So my theory goes, what if I actually AM sick? Just...that's how it manifests in me. It'd actually make sense. As good as I am at avoiding contact, I'm not THAT good. I've been exposed, and I've got awful hygiene, so it's not like I can magically wash away those germs. They're going to overrun me, yet...I'm asymptomatic. Unless my symptoms are more subtle things.
If my sickness manifests as problems eating, then it makes sense that I otherwise appear healthy. I'd still be sick, but not showing the obvious signs, so on the surface looking good.
...Of course, there IS the more mundane solution: another cause of appetite loss is depression, which I'm going through right now. The signs are subtle, but present: avoidance, lack of drive, lack of passion, heck, you need only see me not live-updating my blog to see this! But it applies to all aspects of my life, most debilitatingly my creative life. Yet the largest sign of all?
I wrote a song today.
...Yes, that's a sign.
I NEVER write songs unless I'm in the middle of depression.
Especially not a song like the one I made. Here, give it a listen.
...The recording sucks, though the song's awesome in my head. More, though, is that the lyrics really spoke to me. They were meant to reflect my life yet also my characters' lives (especially primary protagonists), and I pulled it off okay, but the point is...they deal with lots of stuff that is on the edge of life.
Which depression deals with.
Soyeah. Depressed. I'll make the most of it, though.
Which depression deals with.
Soyeah. Depressed. I'll make the most of it, though.
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