On each half of my personality, I've taken or announced intention to take a break from playing mafia.
I'm strongly considering making that apply to both at the same time, for the first time in five, six years. (I last had an entire break back in 2010. Ever since then, I've always, always been involved, somewhere.) This would not be a permanent thing. But I think I want it. Not as "moving on in my life, without mafia".
That won't happen.
I'd rather die than let go of it.
And I intend to be around the site every day, as both names.
I just...want to have a little bit of time to refocus. Gather up all of my energy, so to speak. Tackle things I've put off doing, and compose myself. Get it together, take time to rest, and when I've finished doing everything, when there's nothing left for me to do...returning, maybe under both names rather than just one at a time.
This is a fairly important decision to make. It'd also largely affect the direction of the blog. Most of my blog posts have recently been on the subject. But if I spend my time elsewhere, then...I have the ability to get somewhere in my life, I feel like, and that when I come back, it will be with precision and focus and be the best of everything that I hoped to be but currently am not.
Helping this, I have marked my availability at work as only on Sundays. This...is quite obviously, a big fat lie. I'm doing nothing, far more often than doing something. But...I feel like in doing less at work, I will actually be allowed to live more of life.
So basically...I'm very largely considering where to focus my energy in life. It's everywhere. For such a small blog post (I feel like I should be writing more on this), it carries a large weight. It affects ComicFury. It affects everything. This is a point in my life, this summer, where I feel like I'm making a decision for where I want to spend my life.
Ironically, I don't think I'd be able to have come to this point without reaching a simultaneous peak in high, and low. Low: no ComicFury for half a year or so. Increasing distance between me and mafia games, the one place I held some level of solitude. Lots of depression weighing me down. High: so many things in my life progressing further, with me doing things I didn't think I could do.
But because I've been through that, even if this blog hasn't shown it...I feel as if I'm really, really growing up right now, and living at the absolute peak turning point in my life. So, even though I'm about to turn a simple 23, I feel like...I'm about to go somewhere that may make me feel significantly older, in a very good way.