So, the day started early. My mom woke me up at 8:45. We left at 9:45, for an appointment at noon to see my psychiatrist, for our semi-annual meetings, once every six months. Now, traffic is bad, as given by our early departure time, and there's the expectation we'd be there ten minutes early for paperwork.
...There was a severe accident on 522, the road we were on. There was a sign saying as much, and my mom had a chance--two, actually--to take an alternate route once we received the warning. She chose to think, "It couldn't be that bad!", and kept going.
...And then we were slammed by the traffic. The car we were in does not have AC. It was a hot day. My mom was super-stressed out, and all the time, I was trying to calm myself down and enter into my pseudo-meditative state that I mastered years ago.
That might not make too much sense, but it's a state where I close my eyes, but I'm not doing so to nap. People often call these moments naps, and it's true, that if I'm in the state for long enough, it can transition into a nap. But by and large, I maintain perfect awareness of my surroundings.
What I mostly am trying to do in that state is relax, to regain control. I gain some amount of focus. If I succeed, things that were bothering me before will not bother me as much. It also allows me to get more energy, and furthermore, to have greater concentration, when I'm feeling tired a few minutes of it if done right can magically make me able to do the task I was having trouble with.
In general, it's a great technique. I don't need to close my eyes, necessarily, in order to do this, though that generally helps. I do need time, though. Thirty seconds of this doesn't exactly do much if I'm then forced to do another task. (More on that below!) But anyway, the main reason I needed to do this is because I was a little bit miserable:
This was a long drive, meaning me sitting in relatively the same position is agitating as much as vacation drives would be: manageable by shifting positions, but the time it takes me to recover from being agitated in one position is longer than the time it takes me to get agitated in a position, not helped by also having some spots constantly agitated and not getting that rest period.
Furthermore, as mentioned, it was hot. I was warned by my sister (it was her car) not to mess with the settings too much, so I didn't, not even the settings which would probably have been harmless, since I wasn't entirely positive they were, in fact, harmless.
Then, we got into the fact that my body felt like it needed to use the bathroom. Now, as it turned out: it didn't. I twice got an opportunity to use a bathroom yesterday, and both times I was there, my body effectively went, "just kidding, lol", but all the same, it felt like I did, and when you feel like you need to use the bathroom, you become miserable.
So there we were, stuck in traffic from an accident...which turned into traffic from construction...and we finally arrived, at 12:02. This, for an appointment that lasted a grand total of five minutes, including the wait time. It was literally just a series of quick questions, quick answers, and "Okay, you're good to go".
But, all the same, while we were on the drive there, I thought, "you know, this might be a good blog post, because I feel like there's a story here". I didn't have any paper with me, though. I keep on telling myself I need to have one of those small, portable note thingies with me at all times, so that I can always have something to write when I need to. Would burn through it in no time flat, but at least I'd have it fresh in mind.
Oh, well. Anyway, we got back into town at close to 1. I was going to need a lunch anyway, so my mom decided to get pizza. Not the best food for when you're hot, and certainly not the best food to have in your system for Tae Kwon Do, but all the same, I ate the standard six slices before. (The other two would be my supper, which...I had at 2:50 am.)
Once home, I spent some time on the computer, and then left for Tae Kwon Do. I was fine on the drive there, though once I got there, it didn't take me long to realize there was something wrong with me. It didn't kick in until like five minutes before class, though.
Our normal room was having the wood floor refurbished (I think that's the term?), so we were in a building next door...one without air conditioning. Instantly, with the first class at 5 (which I'm an assistant teacher in), I felt immensely tired. Absolutely exhausted.
And that's when I realized: "You know. What I need right now...is a good, nice, long nap."
Which is something I had neglected to do.
Between the early time up, the different meal, my body not fully recovered from the hike, the warm environment, and me having not taken a nap like I often do (and should have done), I wasn't certain which factors were the culprits (probably all of them), but I was certain I was tired, exhausted, and having trouble focusing.
Enter, two dozen failed attempts at brief pseudo-meditation. Failed, because me being an assistant instructor, for a bunch of kids half my age, I couldn't spare one minute, yet alone something like five or ten, the length of time I usually find optimal for the meditation. (Longer enters the optimal time for a nap.)
About half-way through, I decided that my best option? Get beaten awake. Because we have sparring class at 6. If I could intentionally play a game of little-defense (I tank blows anyway normally), I would be forced awake by the shock to my system.
At first, I was worried: nobody showed up. Then, I thought it'd be a mixed blessing, and maybe I'd have brief rest time. (We'd definitely have some one-on-one training if I was the only one there, but it wouldn't be a solid two hours worth!) Fortunately, one person did in fact show up, so we got to sparring, and noticed:
It was HOT.
So, we sparred without our chest protectors. Was a nice change in pace.
This did the job well enough that I didn't notice my being tired during the remainder of class, 6:30-7:30, but when I got home at 8, I resolved to take a nap...so I did.
Which lasted until 11:30, and it's at this point that I could have made a blog, but didn't, I did online duty stuff until basically 3 AM and at this point, things get a little hazy, but in spite of having nothing to do I think my thoughts were more or less, "I don't feel like doing anything anymore even though I could, let's get to bed". Or something like that.