I'm sure we've all seen and heard about this sort of book before. I've read one, in fact. (Well, not from an author that's necessarily writing about the issues of current society so much as commenting on some of the business practices Americans have had. That book was called "What I learned in Joe's Garage", and told the story of Joe doing a garage remodel to illustrate various American practices compared to overall more efficient and rewarding alternatives given by another character.)
Anyway, with luck you know what I'm talking about. In general, these are authors who have done their homework. They're not taking a one-dimensional hollow argument. They're not the sort of people who only researched the one side. Frequently, they're the type who has researched BOTH sides, and found the flaws inherent in them, and suggests a third option overall, a compromise for the better overall future.
And on today's agenda was the author of a book (I forget her name, which--as is fairly common--was also the name of the website to learn more about her) called "The Village Effect", and while I don't remember her name, what she said reminded me of information from my interpersonal communications class (not the first time that's happened, mind you), about how we fundamentally need other people, will live longer if we associate with them, how we seek it, and whatnot.
But honestly...none of what she said was at all even remotely a surprise to me. Quite the opposite, in fact; I've known it my whole life. Not just instinctively, but painfully intuitively and emotionally. It's what I've sought for YEARS, now: someone who's actually there for me. Heck, you've even seen me blog about it before, about how I seek that bond with others.
She mentioned it, that thing I've said many times myself, that online contact simply doesn't hold the same effect as physically being there, and that if nothing else, it's because humans are hard-wired to seek that companionship and actually having them THERE is the only way our subconscious, base, fundamental levels can be satisfied and recognize its fulfillment. (Sure, we consciously can think of the person on the other side of the internet screen as being there...but while we've had 10-20 years worth of developing this, we've had THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of years where we had to physically see them, and that's a level of reprogramming that we simply can't do in a single generation.)
...So that's also why me being alone is so dang painful, and why my dreams revolved around basically nothing except at some basic level...seeking that friend, that person, to be there in my hour--or hours, as it would be--of need, supporting me. I'm not crazy, nor am I a hopeless naysayer. (Though I do lose hope from time to time and say how screwed I am......)
No, this is an actual, real problem. A problem that I have, HARD. I only wish I could solve it. To others, the solution might seem obvious. Heck, even the program itself basically said (more or less anyway), "You can do it, just adjust your lifestyle a bit--less internet interaction, more face to face." (Talking to a coworker rather than emailing them, buying something in a store rather than ordering it online, and similar are things she mentioned as being helpful for maintaining human contact.)
...That...doesn't work so well for me, as I've previously illustrated. Know those times where I make a blog post and I can't describe my thoughts coherently? How I have the emotion of struggle when trying to describe things? It's mitigated online because I can be verbose to work around the restrictions...that are in place full-time in real life. Realistically, online is my only hope for realistically making contact. It's so frustrating (like I said, the emotion is the made-up one that I call 'struggle'), especially if people don't understand. I do my best to describe it, yet...how can they get it without having lived it themselves? I...want that friendship so badly, yet...how can I get it? It's...so very hard to cope with.
...In other news, I'm typing this up well before I was scheduled to get home, and honestly, I'm beating myself up for it. See, we drove to round dancing...and there was nobody there. Why am I disappointed in that? Because we were there a half-hour earlier than normal.
So it's fully possible we were ten minutes early, and that they did in fact meet today. We know they were planning on it. So if I had come home at my normal time rather than getting done with work early, it's possible I'd miss some dance time rather than all the dance time.
As an extension of that, we drove home instead of to square dancing, and I was to drive myself. Needing a nap to undergo that, I fell asleep, expecting as is the norm to be woken up at the appropriate time, which they've never failed to do.
...An hour and a half past the time that I am supposed to be woken up, they woke me up. Effectively, that meant that I'd get there an hour and a half late, and basically only get a small fraction of the amount of dancing that I should get. Thus, the beating myself up. That chain of events could have been different at two separate times, yet here I am.
That being said, there's something interesting I noted when having my supper (which was much better than what I'd have gotten most likely by the normal schedule, mind you), and that was my younger sister doing something.
See, when I'm thinking, I often hold my hands up in the air (particularly my left), and make wave-like motions with it. It's like I'm silently checking things off. The motion vaguely resembles Gary from the show Alphas when he uses his ability, including that I give off the appearance of being a bit out-of-this-world as I focus on something that others can't perceive.
I think I always did it, but I think watching the show Sherlock (particularly about his 'Mind Palace') is what made me more aware of it. In that I'd basically have those concepts, loosely organized in my head, and with this unique little quirk of mine, I'd sort through it, to create a to-do list, with items I'd check off as being done and be like, "so what's left?"
...Which brings me to my younger sister. I saw her standing in place with my periphery vision, and she had all five of her fingers on one particular hand (I think her left) waving back and forth--the motion wasn't IDENTICAL, but it WAS similar. And she must have picked up on me having seen her, since she commented on what she was doing: she had lost track of something about her phone (might even have been the phone itself), and she was going over what had happened in the last few hours.
In other words...making the checklist and going through it mentally.
It's really, really funny how things like that happen. You'd think that those couldn't be traits picked up, that they'd have to be individually formed, and yet, we formed them all the same. It made me smile to think about, though. She's probably the family member I'm least alike to (even though she's the sibling I spent the most time around), yet we have at the very least that one small trait the same.