Missed Friday, that's January 22nd.
Missed Saturday, that's January 21st.
Missed Sunday, that's January 20th.
Missed Monday, that's January 19th.
Probably going to miss today, moving it to January 18th.
I want to be a better person. I want to change to be the person I want to be. But it is so...so hard to change, when you're so, so sick in so many ways.
The ironic thing is.
On Thursday night, I made an impulsive whim of a decision: "tomorrow, I am going to buy the clothing I want to wear, provided I can wash it away from home"--a provisional big HUGE leap forward, one incredibly risky. Would require me to wear my coat at all times and pants as well, to not make it obvious, but I was willing to take that risk, if I could prevent the clothing from being gross.
Again, like I said, willing to field the bill for the clothing if I could wash them, and also field the bill for a laundromat, etc. I was willing to take that big huge gigantic risk...
...And then I got sick.
Really, really sick.
Yesterday, spent all of it waiting to be tested by the doctor. I don't have a bacterial infection in the chest (still possible to have one in throat/nose tho), and they tested me for two strands of the flu which came up negative (obviously, could be a different strand they didn't test for), and then they tested for the coronavirus, still waiting for those results (will get them in 1-3 days).
Can say--today I do feel mostly better, but that does have a caveat to it.
Every single day, I thought I was better...and then I ended the day being worse, much much worse, than the day before. So, could always get much much much worse again, but today, legit just feeling much much better.
I haven't felt feverish--admittedly, haven't checked even though I probably should, but that's good.
I'm barely coughing and it's back to being a dry cough--good.
I still have a sore throat, but it's much closer to being the sore throat I had on the first day, barely noticeable.
The main thing is a bad headache which no amount of drinking water (and it's definitely not caffeine withdrawal either) can fix. Tylenol helps to mitigate it tho.
Overall, most of my symptoms aren't there, or are much lower.
Can, and have, taken turns for the worse before when I thought I was getting better.
But, cautiously optimistic!
Still feeling terrible.
There's so many things I want to do.
And due to my sickness.
So many things I can't do.
It's just...very frustrating.