So let's talk about superstitions, then. Everyone has them. Literally everyone. There's not a single person on earth without some sort of superstition.
Now, plenty of people who think they don't have any will deny it, because they think superstitions need to have some sort of nonsensical element to them. Not so. You can have a belief entirely grounded by real science. It doesn't mean the paranoia behind it is any less a superstition. It just means it's a well-reasoned, maybe-justified superstition, rather than an undefined one.
Of course, my superstitions tend to be even more wacky than my religious beliefs are. You know, stuff like believing in spirits and the like? My superstitions make those seem rational in comparison. (What can I say? I'm a crazy lady, and proud of it.) So, yeah. No rational superstitions from me, at least not that many. Just a bunch of irrational, nonsensical, weird ones.
Among them? Well, you know how one of my two names is Ranger, right? Yeah, well...ever since I started driving, I've developed an absolute paranoia whenever I spot a Range Rover. Why? Because if you shift the second r over, you get Ranger Over. It's completely silly, of course. Absolutely ridiculous to think that a car could mean anything.
But through some cosmic coincidence, a good half of my car incidents (be it tickets, scares, or accidents) have happened shortly after having spotted one, and me not paying heed to the warning provided.
So, whenever I spot one, I instantly go, "Oh, crud, it's THE Omen". As in, I call Range Rovers 'The Omen', and instantly become a super-cautious driver: driving the speed limit or under, with proper posture, both hands on the steering wheel, and not multitasking.
Silly as it sounds, it's my belief and I'm sticking with it.
But anyway...fun as superstition talk may be...I actually came here to say that I'm making a huge decision.
I specifically told my counselor that I was going to power through my current draft before starting a rewrite...but...
...I'm not making much, if any, progress on my rewrite. My head's just not in it. It's not that I'm disconnected. I've been working on and off on it. It's just that editing is...so...slow.
And I know starting over is a dangerous loop.
But...I've actually grown a very strong passion the last few days or so, really, a week actually, and in that time...the thought, like a disease, has grown: "You can do better. You have a better direction. You have these ideas. Put them to use."
And...I think I'm right. So, on my novel, I'm going to start over again, hopefully the last time. I'm going to officially start it as a third draft. Not second draft, take four (well, a restart would be five). Proper, actual, third draft. Starting with getting some formatting changes, some timing changes, some pacing changes. And letting go of the urge to make things "longer! Longer! Longer, pad it out!"
I'm going to let those details go. I'm going to cut, not add.
This is a huge risk. How many pages was I into the second draft? 200? It had to have been at least 100, maybe 150. I put the exact amount in the blog at one point. It was a huge number.
But...I need to do this.
Sometimes, things just...just feel RIGHT.
And this is among them.
Meaning, my blogs may either skyrocket in length or virtually disappear in the future, because I'm actually going to commit some true effort to this.
Hopefully I'm not making a colossal error.
Now, plenty of people who think they don't have any will deny it, because they think superstitions need to have some sort of nonsensical element to them. Not so. You can have a belief entirely grounded by real science. It doesn't mean the paranoia behind it is any less a superstition. It just means it's a well-reasoned, maybe-justified superstition, rather than an undefined one.
Of course, my superstitions tend to be even more wacky than my religious beliefs are. You know, stuff like believing in spirits and the like? My superstitions make those seem rational in comparison. (What can I say? I'm a crazy lady, and proud of it.) So, yeah. No rational superstitions from me, at least not that many. Just a bunch of irrational, nonsensical, weird ones.
Among them? Well, you know how one of my two names is Ranger, right? Yeah, well...ever since I started driving, I've developed an absolute paranoia whenever I spot a Range Rover. Why? Because if you shift the second r over, you get Ranger Over. It's completely silly, of course. Absolutely ridiculous to think that a car could mean anything.
But through some cosmic coincidence, a good half of my car incidents (be it tickets, scares, or accidents) have happened shortly after having spotted one, and me not paying heed to the warning provided.
So, whenever I spot one, I instantly go, "Oh, crud, it's THE Omen". As in, I call Range Rovers 'The Omen', and instantly become a super-cautious driver: driving the speed limit or under, with proper posture, both hands on the steering wheel, and not multitasking.
Silly as it sounds, it's my belief and I'm sticking with it.
But anyway...fun as superstition talk may be...I actually came here to say that I'm making a huge decision.
I specifically told my counselor that I was going to power through my current draft before starting a rewrite...but...
...I'm not making much, if any, progress on my rewrite. My head's just not in it. It's not that I'm disconnected. I've been working on and off on it. It's just that editing is...so...slow.
And I know starting over is a dangerous loop.
But...I've actually grown a very strong passion the last few days or so, really, a week actually, and in that time...the thought, like a disease, has grown: "You can do better. You have a better direction. You have these ideas. Put them to use."
And...I think I'm right. So, on my novel, I'm going to start over again, hopefully the last time. I'm going to officially start it as a third draft. Not second draft, take four (well, a restart would be five). Proper, actual, third draft. Starting with getting some formatting changes, some timing changes, some pacing changes. And letting go of the urge to make things "longer! Longer! Longer, pad it out!"
I'm going to let those details go. I'm going to cut, not add.
This is a huge risk. How many pages was I into the second draft? 200? It had to have been at least 100, maybe 150. I put the exact amount in the blog at one point. It was a huge number.
But...I need to do this.
Sometimes, things just...just feel RIGHT.
And this is among them.
Meaning, my blogs may either skyrocket in length or virtually disappear in the future, because I'm actually going to commit some true effort to this.
Hopefully I'm not making a colossal error.
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