...No, but seriously. Do you know how I have two sides to my personality? The older, mature adult me, a wise woman of sorts, and the younger, hyperactive little girl me? Well, in the project I'm about to run, I get to be both. They've merged together into a single entity, temporarily, for the sake of a game.
I'm really, really eager to get started. I feel like, in spite of all the myriad of things that can (and will) go wrong (the older me has prepared for those), that I can handle it, that I'm ready. I feel like I'm there, with something great, that I will be sharing with others and they'll love it as much as I did.
At the same time, I feel like I'm handling things in a reasonable, fairly mature way. I feel like if I tried to do what I'm doing now two or three years ago, it would 100% fail, guaranteed. Even now, I'm panicked that in spite of all my safeguards and all my planning, I'm not quite prepared enough. Basically, I feel like a mother, raising a child: I have done everything I can, but I don't quite know for sure if I've done right.
It's...a really, really awesome feeling to have, and I'm just kinda waiting for the moment, since when it begins...it's going to quickly grow. This is a feeling I don't think I've ever experienced. I made something that I liked, which is how I've always done things, but this time I think my approach has made it more about them than it is about me.
And I feel like, with that...I can do it.
Everything could go to hell by tomorrow, who knows? (Hard to say, exactly.) Or if not tomorrow, soon after. But I think that this is worth trying, and that I am up to the challenges I am sure to face. This will be difficult! I know it will be. But I think I'm ready.