So at the family gathering last night, a small piece of me kinda died. In conversation, it was brought up that someone we vaguely know (I believe from square dancing) got married. She married a guy, but had previously dated a girl, twice.
And then, my mother said, "I guess she decided she wasn't bisexual afterall." Much to my surprise, my older sister immediately gave the defense a more-informed, educated, Allied person would give, explaining that just because she fell in love with a guy doesn't mean she isn't attracted to girls. (I forget her exact wording, but my sister basically gave the perfect defense.)
Still, though, all the same...that was my mom, the member of the family I thought might be most receptive to the idea of my own status. She was the one I trusted with the knowledge that I'm bipolar, after all, which is in contrast to my dad who doesn't believe that bipolar disorder is a real disease, thinking that it's all in the person's mind. (And you wonder why I want to leave his house.)
Speaking of him, whenever he's around me, I become deeply uncomfortable. If you're familiar with the basic idea behind personal space, well, he enters into mine without thinking about it and I become instantly uneasy, with a mental screaming of, "GET OUT!". He's the only one I do this for. Nobody else triggers such discomfort, such unease. In fact, I so entirely lack personal space that I'm entirely fine with anyone encroaching within inches of me. (Though, if I'm on a computer, I probably will devote my focus on them, since I don't trust them not to eavesdrop and I like my computer time to be private.)
Except for him. He's so toxic that I can feel it.
I'll speak more on this some other time. Today, I'm going to do a workout in TKD, and also help a belt test. It's also movie night, so there's that, too. Happy thoughts!
And then, my mother said, "I guess she decided she wasn't bisexual afterall." Much to my surprise, my older sister immediately gave the defense a more-informed, educated, Allied person would give, explaining that just because she fell in love with a guy doesn't mean she isn't attracted to girls. (I forget her exact wording, but my sister basically gave the perfect defense.)
Still, though, all the same...that was my mom, the member of the family I thought might be most receptive to the idea of my own status. She was the one I trusted with the knowledge that I'm bipolar, after all, which is in contrast to my dad who doesn't believe that bipolar disorder is a real disease, thinking that it's all in the person's mind. (And you wonder why I want to leave his house.)
Speaking of him, whenever he's around me, I become deeply uncomfortable. If you're familiar with the basic idea behind personal space, well, he enters into mine without thinking about it and I become instantly uneasy, with a mental screaming of, "GET OUT!". He's the only one I do this for. Nobody else triggers such discomfort, such unease. In fact, I so entirely lack personal space that I'm entirely fine with anyone encroaching within inches of me. (Though, if I'm on a computer, I probably will devote my focus on them, since I don't trust them not to eavesdrop and I like my computer time to be private.)
Except for him. He's so toxic that I can feel it.
I'll speak more on this some other time. Today, I'm going to do a workout in TKD, and also help a belt test. It's also movie night, so there's that, too. Happy thoughts!
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