All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

Just a quick update:

10/20/2014

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So I didn't get everything I wanted done yesterday, but I did get most of it done. I'm in-between classes right now, so here's where I'd have time to take care of one of the two big tasks remaining...if it wasn't for the fact that I left my textbook at home. (This revelation made me let out something a bit stronger than a "D'oh!". In fact, it was the strongest curse word I have in my vernacular. I'd say it, but it's MY vernacular, meaning that it holds zero meaning as a curse word to anyone else.)

There was another thing which made me go, "do'h.", though I don't remember what. Point being, I have basically nothing but spare time at the moment, so I might as well post here feelings from my first class. In essence...I have body image issues. (Imagine that!) See, I'm a bit envious of most girls' hair. They have nice, beautiful ponytails that they make effortlessly, and said ponytails not only hold up for the entirety of class, but do so comfortably, functionally, and consistently. Their ponytails look nice on them. Their ponytails actually work to keep hair out of the way. Their ponytails they can make in 30 seconds. Their ponytails feel nice, and are made the same way each time.

Mine...aren't. Each time, it's a struggle. Now, granted. Most of them probably have years upon years of experience with ponytails. Not to mention, a fair number of them probably have had their mothers teach them how to make ponytails. Or if not their mother, an older sister, or maybe a friend who knows how. I...haven't had that. I'm entirely self-taught, and it kind-of shows.

More than that, there's also the matter of attire. I wear underarmor skintight (More or less) warmups, which act as nice shorts for a fitness class so that I'm not stuck in pants. The thing is, mine only go to my knees at most. Most of the girls there wear skintight leggings that go down to their ankles, and they actually look really nice in them. More than that, there's also the (uh...fair warning, following blog section may be TMI) shape that the leggings make when they meet. It's hard to describe what it looks like, but for mine, there's a bulge that doesn't exist in theirs, a bulge I'd very much rather not be there.

I try to find different ways to change that, but it doesn't work, so I'm taking more and more to wearing the longer pants, which when doing a workout, makes me a little bit prone to overheating. (Plus, it can get in the way, because the pants are not the best fit for me. Furthermore, the more I use the pants for this sort of thing, the more damaged they become, worn down by the activity.) (/TMI)

I know that nobody in there cares about my appearance, or if they notice anything, assume that I don't care about my appearance (I'm not exactly a sight for sore eyes), but...well, I do, so it's kinda a miserable thing. :/
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    rBree2

    AKA:
    RangerBree2
    ​rangerbreenew

    Just your average blogger. A transwoman lesbian, with autism, adhd, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, who is plural (a polyfrag median system).

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