May 12th, 2016

So that coworker I came out to yesterday? They did a lot of things that seem good. A lot, a lot. Asked me what pronoun to use (I had to tell them it's safer to call me 'he', because not everyone knows), if there was anything they could do, that they're not that experienced in the subject, but that they know someone I can contact about it which may help.

This...is all good stuff.

So why am I still a nervous wreck? I just feel like...I dunno. That maybe they're expecting something now, that I don't know, that maybe I've placed a burden on them, I'm just...I mean, what they're doing is nothing but a good thing. No doubt. I kind-of feel like on my end, that maybe I'm not really responding how I could, how I should, that I'm not prepared for letting others help me, I guess.

So it's kind-of just a bleh moment. This should be something that put me at ease. But I'm as neurotic as ever, constantly paranoid I've done SOMETHING wrong.

Being trans is HARD.

Everything about it just...isn't what you'd think. Even to a trans person, it doesn't play out the way they envision.

Soyeah. That was the highlight of today.

Gonna try and do something significant for job searching tomorrow.

Probably won't blog, since by my understanding, we will in fact be celebrating my sister's birthday tomorrow.

And since I'm prepping for a relatively early bed time tonight for a subjectively early waking up time, that means you probably won't see this entry until Saturday at the earliest. (Which, knowing me, could be Sunday...or Monday...or even Tuesday.)

Ah, well.

I'll post it as soon as possible.