But in spite of that. If I had a way to describe it. It'd be "zen-out". Zenning out is similar to zoning out, in that it is me just doing things which are :feelgood: things. Or rather. More specifically. It is avoiding doing things which are passionate, energy-filled tasks.
That's why I can play a game; that takes little energy. I can watch people playing games; that takes no energy. I can watch videos; still no energy. I can read things; takes some energy, so probably only done in a short burst (for instance, a couple chapters of a book), but I can still do it.
I can't really blog though because blogging just takes a certain amount of passion. Of drive. That's what I'm looking for, the word describing it. I lack drive, but this is not in the negative context, so much as it is a "I need to recharge" context. Where basically my body is telling me that I need to chill out, relax, take time to recover from all the passion my manic mind produces.
So in a sense, I'd be depressed, I suppose, but it's a strange type of depression that's actually not really depressed?
I have no clue how to describe this feeling. Just, I have it, so the blog about my story idea will have to wait until tomorrow.