There's some repetition built in, but it feels meaningful rather than superfluous. There's some longwinded parts, but these sections--while easily shorter--feel incredibly poetic, with the words flowing one after another with hypnotic effect. One of the things I did was building in a fair amount of alliteration along with the occasional rhyme, so it really does feel like instead of the prose it is, an actual poem, simply freestyle versing instead of structured.
My transitions feel natural. I'll need to reread them today to make sure everything is in place (there are parts closer to the end of what I've written I'm not so sure fit, where the protagonist is describing himself rather than thinking to himself), but what I have is magnificent. It's EXACTLY what I was going for. It's exactly what I felt my constant rewrites had caused me to lose. The editing, the restructuring, the deletion, the adding, the constant tweaking, breaking my original intent. And I feel this third draft has brought it back to my vision.
...The bad news?
Mother of god, this is taking FOREVER. I must've spent two or so hours on it yesterday at minimum, probably closer to three or even four. I'm less than half-way through the prologue, at least the original one.
It's SO good. It's what I was missing. But I was thinking I'd get to where I left off in about a week. As in, 115+ pages, writing quickly, using a few hours each day to progress.
Ah, well. It'll take as long as it takes. With luck, I make headway. I do want to emphasize quality over quantity this time through, though, so...I WILL take time to get it right, even if it means I only get a few pages per day, because I WILL make it so that I don't get stuck again this time around.