All Too Human
All Too Human
  • Blog
  • Red Hood Rider

Rambles, Rants, and Musings

November 12th, 2014 (d'oh, no title again)

11/12/2014

0 Comments

 
On a previous blog entry, I talked about how there's certain things I do because I feel obligated to do them. Then, I asked...what would my life be like if I didn't feel those obligations? My answer is both happier and much, much sadder than my current life, because it has some advantages and disadvantages.

I decided that if I held no obligations, I'd not have many set events I'd need to go to...which you could think would mean that I'd wake up whenever and go to sleep whenever, and that'd be fully possible, but to some extent I already do that, in part thanks to my obligations. No, I think that if I held no obligations, I'd actually be setting a rigorous routine: getting prepared for bed no later than 2 am, to fall asleep by 3 am, and then waking up at about 10:45 (give or take 15 minutes) for approximately 7.5 hours of sleep, the amount I consider ideal. (Better than the alternative, which for me is 6.)

I would therefore have about 16 hours to spare. Of those, bodily requirements (such as 2-3 meals, showering, brushing teeth, changing clothes, and so on) would eat about 3, spread throughout the day. I would set aside an additional 2-3 for working out during the weekdays, and have those hours available for me to use during the weekend. Now, that's 10 hours I'd have. I would still dance three days a week, if I could be accepted as a woman that just so happens to dance the man's part, but that'd mainly be thanks to my desire to keep those skills sharp and avoid rusting. Add in TKD, and you've got me losing about 3 hours of my total, leaving about 7 left. Of those 7, I'd prefer to spend about 2-3 on games, and then that'd leave me 4 hours left, where I'd write and draw. Any spare time would be assigned to reading, be it TVTropes, manga, or a webcomic. (Television requirements may adjust the total on a particular day., I may spend only half the above amount on the games/writing/drawing, in order to allow for up to 4 hours of shows on a busy night of TV. Doesn't happen often, though. At most, once a week for a couple of months. I am not a big TV watcher. Aside from anime on Saturdays, I typically average only one or two days a week, for ~2 hours.)

That's my ideal obligation-free life. Yet it'll never happen. Even if it could, I'm not sure I'd want it to. I'd be a leech. More than I already am one. A lack of obligations also means a lack of social ties, too. I'd do TKD and dancing, so there's that, but again, that's only if I'd be accepted as a Miss rather than Mister, and while to some extent in TKD it's a family in the upper-ranks, it's not that tight of a bond. So it's fully possible I wouldn't have them, anyway. And if I did, that I'd be obviously distanced from them, whereas now I'm at least attempting integration as a part of the obligation.

Plus, you might note that in the above, mafia games and webcomics take a back seat to other leisurely activities. That'd be thanks to them being obligations--obligations I absolutely LOVE doing. I can get enthralled in a webcomic, absolutely devoting myself to reading it and supporting the community behind that comic and making the artist feel awesome and really getting invested because I truly adore the work they have made, and the world they have built. I can get obsessed with the game, losing hours meticulously dissecting the details of the game when I only was obligated to give five minutes. I do that extended time out of love and joy for the game, truly happy to duke it out...yet in both cases, while I do it for me, while I have those reasons to do it, I mainly do them to support the community, as an obligation. (As can be seen by the number of games where I am invited, rather than joining of my own free will. I might join one or two, maaaaaaaaybe three, games voluntarily throughout the year. I'll be asked to play in probably two dozen games throughout that same year, if not more.)

And the loss of that community, simply because I no longer feel an obligation to it, is one I'd never wish to feel. It is very much similar to a subject covered in my Interpersonal Communications class about emotions--I'd be without a lot of negatives, at the cost of so many positives that I'd never wish to give up.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    rBree2

    AKA:
    RangerBree2
    ​rangerbreenew

    Just your average blogger. A transwoman lesbian, with autism, adhd, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, who is plural (a polyfrag median system).

    Twitter
    Twitch
    ​​YouTube
    ​TikTok
    Alt-Blog
    ​Fanhouse​
    Facebook
    Steam

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014

    Categories

    All
    Adhd
    Anxiety
    Art
    Autism
    Consumed Entertainment
    Content Creation
    Dancing
    Depression
    Dream
    Family Night
    Farn
    Food
    Games
    Gender Dysphoria
    Health
    Love
    Mafia
    Misophonia
    Past Midnight
    Pets
    Philosophy
    Phyrra And Cyrus
    Plural
    Ramble
    Red Hood Rider
    Religion
    Rider
    Rubyverse
    Saturdays
    School
    Sleep
    Song
    Story
    Sundays
    Tae Kwon Do
    Technical Difficulties
    The Descended
    Trans
    Work

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.