On a previous blog entry, I talked about how there's certain things I do because I feel obligated to do them. Then, I asked...what would my life be like if I didn't feel those obligations? My answer is both happier and much, much sadder than my current life, because it has some advantages and disadvantages.
I decided that if I held no obligations, I'd not have many set events I'd need to go to...which you could think would mean that I'd wake up whenever and go to sleep whenever, and that'd be fully possible, but to some extent I already do that, in part thanks to my obligations. No, I think that if I held no obligations, I'd actually be setting a rigorous routine: getting prepared for bed no later than 2 am, to fall asleep by 3 am, and then waking up at about 10:45 (give or take 15 minutes) for approximately 7.5 hours of sleep, the amount I consider ideal. (Better than the alternative, which for me is 6.)
I would therefore have about 16 hours to spare. Of those, bodily requirements (such as 2-3 meals, showering, brushing teeth, changing clothes, and so on) would eat about 3, spread throughout the day. I would set aside an additional 2-3 for working out during the weekdays, and have those hours available for me to use during the weekend. Now, that's 10 hours I'd have. I would still dance three days a week, if I could be accepted as a woman that just so happens to dance the man's part, but that'd mainly be thanks to my desire to keep those skills sharp and avoid rusting. Add in TKD, and you've got me losing about 3 hours of my total, leaving about 7 left. Of those 7, I'd prefer to spend about 2-3 on games, and then that'd leave me 4 hours left, where I'd write and draw. Any spare time would be assigned to reading, be it TVTropes, manga, or a webcomic. (Television requirements may adjust the total on a particular day., I may spend only half the above amount on the games/writing/drawing, in order to allow for up to 4 hours of shows on a busy night of TV. Doesn't happen often, though. At most, once a week for a couple of months. I am not a big TV watcher. Aside from anime on Saturdays, I typically average only one or two days a week, for ~2 hours.)
That's my ideal obligation-free life. Yet it'll never happen. Even if it could, I'm not sure I'd want it to. I'd be a leech. More than I already am one. A lack of obligations also means a lack of social ties, too. I'd do TKD and dancing, so there's that, but again, that's only if I'd be accepted as a Miss rather than Mister, and while to some extent in TKD it's a family in the upper-ranks, it's not that tight of a bond. So it's fully possible I wouldn't have them, anyway. And if I did, that I'd be obviously distanced from them, whereas now I'm at least attempting integration as a part of the obligation.
Plus, you might note that in the above, mafia games and webcomics take a back seat to other leisurely activities. That'd be thanks to them being obligations--obligations I absolutely LOVE doing. I can get enthralled in a webcomic, absolutely devoting myself to reading it and supporting the community behind that comic and making the artist feel awesome and really getting invested because I truly adore the work they have made, and the world they have built. I can get obsessed with the game, losing hours meticulously dissecting the details of the game when I only was obligated to give five minutes. I do that extended time out of love and joy for the game, truly happy to duke it out...yet in both cases, while I do it for me, while I have those reasons to do it, I mainly do them to support the community, as an obligation. (As can be seen by the number of games where I am invited, rather than joining of my own free will. I might join one or two, maaaaaaaaybe three, games voluntarily throughout the year. I'll be asked to play in probably two dozen games throughout that same year, if not more.)
And the loss of that community, simply because I no longer feel an obligation to it, is one I'd never wish to feel. It is very much similar to a subject covered in my Interpersonal Communications class about emotions--I'd be without a lot of negatives, at the cost of so many positives that I'd never wish to give up.
I decided that if I held no obligations, I'd not have many set events I'd need to go to...which you could think would mean that I'd wake up whenever and go to sleep whenever, and that'd be fully possible, but to some extent I already do that, in part thanks to my obligations. No, I think that if I held no obligations, I'd actually be setting a rigorous routine: getting prepared for bed no later than 2 am, to fall asleep by 3 am, and then waking up at about 10:45 (give or take 15 minutes) for approximately 7.5 hours of sleep, the amount I consider ideal. (Better than the alternative, which for me is 6.)
I would therefore have about 16 hours to spare. Of those, bodily requirements (such as 2-3 meals, showering, brushing teeth, changing clothes, and so on) would eat about 3, spread throughout the day. I would set aside an additional 2-3 for working out during the weekdays, and have those hours available for me to use during the weekend. Now, that's 10 hours I'd have. I would still dance three days a week, if I could be accepted as a woman that just so happens to dance the man's part, but that'd mainly be thanks to my desire to keep those skills sharp and avoid rusting. Add in TKD, and you've got me losing about 3 hours of my total, leaving about 7 left. Of those 7, I'd prefer to spend about 2-3 on games, and then that'd leave me 4 hours left, where I'd write and draw. Any spare time would be assigned to reading, be it TVTropes, manga, or a webcomic. (Television requirements may adjust the total on a particular day., I may spend only half the above amount on the games/writing/drawing, in order to allow for up to 4 hours of shows on a busy night of TV. Doesn't happen often, though. At most, once a week for a couple of months. I am not a big TV watcher. Aside from anime on Saturdays, I typically average only one or two days a week, for ~2 hours.)
That's my ideal obligation-free life. Yet it'll never happen. Even if it could, I'm not sure I'd want it to. I'd be a leech. More than I already am one. A lack of obligations also means a lack of social ties, too. I'd do TKD and dancing, so there's that, but again, that's only if I'd be accepted as a Miss rather than Mister, and while to some extent in TKD it's a family in the upper-ranks, it's not that tight of a bond. So it's fully possible I wouldn't have them, anyway. And if I did, that I'd be obviously distanced from them, whereas now I'm at least attempting integration as a part of the obligation.
Plus, you might note that in the above, mafia games and webcomics take a back seat to other leisurely activities. That'd be thanks to them being obligations--obligations I absolutely LOVE doing. I can get enthralled in a webcomic, absolutely devoting myself to reading it and supporting the community behind that comic and making the artist feel awesome and really getting invested because I truly adore the work they have made, and the world they have built. I can get obsessed with the game, losing hours meticulously dissecting the details of the game when I only was obligated to give five minutes. I do that extended time out of love and joy for the game, truly happy to duke it out...yet in both cases, while I do it for me, while I have those reasons to do it, I mainly do them to support the community, as an obligation. (As can be seen by the number of games where I am invited, rather than joining of my own free will. I might join one or two, maaaaaaaaybe three, games voluntarily throughout the year. I'll be asked to play in probably two dozen games throughout that same year, if not more.)
And the loss of that community, simply because I no longer feel an obligation to it, is one I'd never wish to feel. It is very much similar to a subject covered in my Interpersonal Communications class about emotions--I'd be without a lot of negatives, at the cost of so many positives that I'd never wish to give up.
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