It gets better; because I forgot my computer wanted to install updates, guess what I had to sit through today? With it taking half an hour (if not more) to actually install! And as I'm writing this, I'm STILL waiting for everything to get back up and running to full capacity--namely, Firefox, so I can actually, y'know...BLOG about my miserable failures.
As if that wasn't enough, because of my little distractions, I'm virtually site flaking from my mafia site, all because of my Red Hood Rider obsession! So at some point today, I'm going to have to figure out a way to overcome inertia and tackle every project there I need to. Everything from year-end nominations (mostly, picking out all the ones that were seconded yet aren't listed as being seconded, because the people in charge of those things kinda suck at stuff like that) to general talk (for instance, talking about Star Wars) to more private talk (such as trans issues) to, of course, my games. Which I have been neglecting. And flaking from. Again. As a hydra. Which I'm becoming NOTORIOUS for.
...All THAT, BEFORE you factor in all of the distractions I'm inflicting on myself. Like how, right now, I keep thinking of some of my favorite Kongregate Games of all time. Everything from Ge.ne.sis (I think that's the game's title? I'd have to check again) to a really, really, REALLY brilliant game that I can't recall the title of off the top of my head (but which invokes childhood fondness and was inspired by synesthesia), to the Epic Battle Fantasy series to the MARDEK games...you know. Little things like that which serve to be a distraction because every thought on them is a thought not spent on Red Hood Rider.
MORE than that. Then there's the productive for Red Hood Rider in the long-term distractions which don't help my immediate concerns! Like how I really, really, REALLY want to write the episode 2 script right now. Something I'll need to do eventually, but not right now, yet the urge is there, the distraction is strong.
...And to make things worse: while, THANKFULLY, my mom's on the computer right now (you know it's bad when I'm THANKFUL my mom's on the desktop!), I know for a fact that she's leaving for a party. And the moment she does, I'll be going onto there. And I won't be spending my time on productive things like ComicFury or even my mafia stuff. CERTAINLY not anything in regards to the Rubyverse. You know what I'll be doing? 100%, it will be...watching movies, because I know for a fact that my CF friends run a stream on New Years Eve all day long of solid films and that's quite literally a once in a year event, my equivalent of a new years eve party, because it's how I prefer to spend my time: among friends, hanging out, chatting, and having fun partying.
...So to sum things up: total, utter, miserable failure here (that's me!) managed to screw things up and will only get worse.
The ONE redeeming element to be had here is that I didn't COMPLETELY waste my time. (Just mostly!) I did get some storyboarding done for my novel, by writing down some important notes. Not great, but at least it's SOMETHING. As of today, I've also further worked on the page I SHOULD have finished yesterday, prior to writing this blog because, well, you know...the computer was restarting, couldn't exactly type up a blog. (I could write one, but that was too much a pain.) So the page is ALMOST done, just needing two panels that won't be much effort (the largest struggle will be deciding what to actually show, since my script is a bit ambiguous on those two panels), but not quite there.
I also managed to scan that awesome page I mentioned in my blog yesterday, and as is my wont, I feel like showing it off.
I mean, today, I think I did a good job of making her look like an anime teenage magical girl, which is good, but in that one panel, above all other drawings I've done of her so far, from the title image to the first page (though, her breaking through the glass was pretty superheroish) to the previous drawing I was so proud of for page three (the one I did on vacation), everything pales in comparison to panel two in terms of capturing the essence of Ruby.
If I didn't already have my heart set on a certain currently-not-yet-drawn image as being my comic avatar, I'd probably use that panel as the avatar. (Well, a reduced-size version, anyway.) It is, quintessentially, everything I envision of Ruby. That is how she looks in my mind. No drawing I've done of her before or since then has so well brought my vision to life.
...All this, through some absolutely atrocious attempts at foreshortening. (I think it'll be an easy digital fix, though. For the drawing, I started with her head and then with her right/arrow hand, working my way outward and downward. To fix it, digitally, I think starting with the left/bow hand and working up the bowstring--which would need to be tilted upward--will allow for a relatively quick fix. At least, in theory. Cross that bridge when I come to it.)
Artistically, I might not have gotten the 'money shot' I was looking for, because the image is incredibly flawed. But from the perspective of a writer, seeing what I envisioned perfectly brought out in aesthetics even if not in the perfect angle is a dream come true. This is one of those rare moments in my artistic career.
Sometimes, I've jumped for joy over drawing the perfect version of my characters. It happened every rare once and a while for The Descended. Sometimes, I've been ecstatic at how well others have captured my characters, usually for the same reason, in that I love seeing my babies brought out in such magnificent detail.
Yet moments where I feel this pride and joy, in my writing, in my art, are truly moments to treasure. Of course, I know it's not perfect. It's flawed. Extremely flawed. But for me, it's perfection all the same, because...I did it! I made her look like how she's supposed to look like! For one, awesome, brief panel, that I now strive to match/exceed.
So...definitely at least encouraged. I think I can do great things. I'm a proper artist. I'm a proper webcomic creator. I can set realistic goals, I can set realistic expectations, I can realistically realize my vision, so that means...I can, realistically, start my webcomic. So in this one page, I think I have final affirmation that, yes. I CAN do this. I CAN make a webcomic. So that's all the encouragement in the world to keep me going.
...Still sucks about how much I'm not going to get done today, though. I'll have to do what I can.