So since adult swim is having an independence day marathon (meaning, no normal anime tonight), I could have gotten a full 6 hours of sleep. I'll still get at least four and a half, depending on how long it takes me to fall asleep. (It's 12:15 as I start to type this. If I'm actually ASLEEP asleep before 1:30, I should be okay, and I've found that I can generally get to sleep within half an hour, give or take 15 minutes.)
And I'm making an entry past midnight, because I wanted to end the day on a positive note. And that's not something that I should force. But...I can do it. Because of what someone else said. They said, more or less, that in my weakness, there was a strength. Maybe those were just words to them, especially since the full context was that in admitting weakness, there was strength. But those words actually do hold meaning.
I am weak right now. And...I actually...don't think that's a problem. It means I need to get stronger. That's what my mind is telling me right now. My mind is weak...so get stronger. In that realization, I am already on the path to getting stronger, since it does take that courage, that self-awareness, to recognize I am weak in the first place.
This will not be an overnight recovery.
I could be back in misery tomorrow. Even if not, I'm going to have to fight hard, really hard, to continue on with my life.
But...I wanted to say. Ultimately...I think things are gonna be alright.
I mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
Everything is going to be okay. Not immediately. Not now. Not in some distant future years from now. Not permanently, since turmoil always comes back. But very soon...I will recover, with an even better foothold. At least, as I go to bed, that's what I tell myself. It's allowing me to smile as I go to sleep, rather than be consumed by the sadness of waking up. And if I can keep that smile once awake, if that thought persists tomorrow...then I may have my life back.
It's really amazing how even the smallest of things can make the largest of differences.
And I'm making an entry past midnight, because I wanted to end the day on a positive note. And that's not something that I should force. But...I can do it. Because of what someone else said. They said, more or less, that in my weakness, there was a strength. Maybe those were just words to them, especially since the full context was that in admitting weakness, there was strength. But those words actually do hold meaning.
I am weak right now. And...I actually...don't think that's a problem. It means I need to get stronger. That's what my mind is telling me right now. My mind is weak...so get stronger. In that realization, I am already on the path to getting stronger, since it does take that courage, that self-awareness, to recognize I am weak in the first place.
This will not be an overnight recovery.
I could be back in misery tomorrow. Even if not, I'm going to have to fight hard, really hard, to continue on with my life.
But...I wanted to say. Ultimately...I think things are gonna be alright.
I mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
Everything is going to be okay. Not immediately. Not now. Not in some distant future years from now. Not permanently, since turmoil always comes back. But very soon...I will recover, with an even better foothold. At least, as I go to bed, that's what I tell myself. It's allowing me to smile as I go to sleep, rather than be consumed by the sadness of waking up. And if I can keep that smile once awake, if that thought persists tomorrow...then I may have my life back.
It's really amazing how even the smallest of things can make the largest of differences.
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